Hello again!

Hope this chapter was worth the wait!

I also wanted to let you all know that I've been playing around with the idea of a sequel once this one is finished. It would be a MerDer fic that would follow their lives after they get back home from New York as they deal with Zola, Meredith's pregnancy, working together again, and life in general :) Would anyone be interested in that? Let me know! If there's enough interest, I will write it!

Anyway, back to this chapter!

Text in italics is a flashback.

Enjoy!

Chapter 14

She was going to die.

That was all she could think of as Meredith heaved into the toilet for what felt like the thousandth time that morning.

She had no idea why her morning sickness had to be especially horrible this week but lo and behold, it was. At first, she blamed all the travel, but the last time she was on a plane was Friday and it was now Thursday. To say the least, it had been an exhausting week.

After Amelia's tearful confession, she had thankfully started opening up a little bit more. She kept to herself a lot, but she gradually started joining her family for most meals and seemed to prefer sitting outside over sitting in her dark room.

Unfortunately, Derek had yet to approach his sister again, despite Meredith's prodding. With three more days left in their visit, he had another thing coming if he thought she was just going to let it go.

Meredith's head was still pounding violently as she rested her forehead against the arm propping her up against the toilet. The dizziness had not subsided and, even though she was sure there was nothing left in her stomach, the nausea was still overwhelming.

After a few more minutes, she hauled her exhausted body to a standing position in front of the vanity. She twisted the faucet and let the cool water run over her hands for a moment before bring the water to her face, washing away the layer of grime left over from her morning sickness.

Once she finally started feeling clean again, she grabbed the bottle of mouthwash on the edge of the sink to rid her mouth of the rotten taste currently taking over her taste buds.

She was still leaning exhaustedly against the small counter, still afraid to venture too far from the toilet, when a gentle voice broke the silence of the bathroom.

"Morning sickness still bothering you?"

Startled by the intrusion, Meredith whipped around to face the door. An action she immediately regretted as her stomach heaved slightly. She gripped her stomach and clamped her mouth shut as she willed the nausea to subside.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry to startle you" Carolyn apologized, quickly closing the space between them to comfort her daughter-in-law.

"Just breathe, dear, it'll pass. Slow, deep breathes," she soothed, rubbing Meredith's shoulders with a mothering touch.

She closed her eyes and did as Carolyn instructed as the nausea thankfully faded. When she finally made eye contact with her mother-in-law all she could offer was a guilty looking smile.

"Uhmm…Thank you. I'm sorry about that."

"Nothing to be sorry for, Meredith. I know firsthand that this part could, by no means, be considered fun. Now, come with me. I've got saltines in the kitchen."

"Oh, I really don't feel that hungry" Meredith replied, looking a little green at the thought of food.

"I'm sure you don't," Carolyn agreed with a sympathetic smile, "But I promise these will help."

Meredith, too exhausted to protest, allowed Carolyn to lead her out of the bathroom and into the kitchen downstairs. She took a seat as Carolyn grabbed a big box of saltines out of the cabinet and placed it in front of Meredith as she took the seat beside her.

"Go on," she encouraged, nudging the crackers towards an apprehensive looking Meredith.

"So, uhmmm, did Derek tell you?" Meredith asked, taking a tiny nibble of the corner of the saltine.

"No," Carolyn chuckled. "He didn't have to. This is a very old house with very thin walls. I've heard you getting sick every morning for the past week."

"Oh God," Meredith groaned, burying her face in her hand in embarrassment.

"Meredith, don't be embarrassed! It happens to the best of us. When I was pregnant with Kathleen, it was horrible. I couldn't start my day without vomiting for a month and a half. Luckily the severity of the morning sickness declined with every pregnancy. Amelia was wonderful," Carolyn remembered fondly. "Nausea, sometimes intense, but no throwing up."

Meredith managed a small smile through her chewing. She could get used to this whole 'having a supportive mother' thing.

"I'm sure you'll be past it soon. Are the saltines helping?"

"They are actually. Thank you. I'll definitely have to remember this," said Meredith, reaching for another cracker. "It really hasn't been this bad, but I guess the traveling just isn't sitting well with me."

"You'll probably feel better once you get home," Carolyn nodded.

The women sat together in silence while Meredith mauled over something to say. There were so many things she wanted to ask but she wasn't used to this. She also felt a little guilty that Derek hadn't been able to surprise his mother with the news. They had decided to announce the pregnancy when the rest of Derek's sisters arrived at the end of their stay.

'Damn loud vomiting,' Meredith thought bitterly.

"Do you mind me asking how far along you are?" Carolyn hedged, breaking Meredith from her internal scolding. "We don't have to talk about it if you're not comfortable," she continued, sensing Meredith's apprehension.

"Oh, no, I don't mind," Meredith insisted. "I just feel a little bad. Derek wanted to tell you at the end of the week. I'm almost 12 weeks along so he wanted to tell you in person before we left."

"I have five children and fourteen, excuse me, fifteen now," Carolyn corrected herself, "grandchildren, and my son really thought he could hide this from me for a whole week?" Carolyn laughed to herself. "Don't feel bad, Meredith. Even without my hearing you in the morning, I had my suspicions."

Meredith just nodded. She may still feel a little guilty, but she knew deep down that Derek would still be over the moon that he could share the news with his family.

Carolyn reached out to take her daughter-in-laws hand. "I want you to know that if you even need advice or have questions that you can always call me. This may be your second child, but it's your first pregnancy. And I know it's all going to be scary and new, but I'm here," she said with a warm smile.

The fleeting cringe that flickered across Meredith's face did not go unnoticed by the older woman. She decided against pushing and let Meredith work out the thoughts in her head.

"It's…not exactly my first pregnancy," Meredith confessed quietly.

Cocking her head in question, Carolyn waited for her to continue.

"It was about a year ago. We weren't trying. It was a huge surprise. But I was really excited and couldn't wait to tell Derek. But the morning I found out was also the day of the shooting." Meredith tightened her lips together, fighting against the onslaught of emotions that accompanied remembering that awful day.

"I watched as a mad gunman shot my husband. I had to stand over him and try to stop him from bleeding out long enough to get him to the OR. And then, in the middle of his surgery, the shooter came back."

She more than had Carolyn's attention at this point. During her brief visit to see her highly drugged and recovering son, she had heard what had happened on the catwalk and of her daughter-in-law and her friend's heroic actions that made it possible for her son to still be breathing. However, this was a part of the story that very few had been privy to.

"Cristina made me sit on the scrub room floor while she operated, but when Dr. Hunt came in, I knew something was wrong. When I walked into the OR, Gary Clark had a gun to my best friend's head and was screaming at her to stop operating and eventually pointed it back at Derek. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't think I was at that point. But I told him to shoot me instead."

She paused, waiting for Carolyn's reaction. She knew this story made her sound crazy or suicidal or whatever. But few could understand what it felt like to watch the love of your life die in front of you. For those people who called her insane, she suggested they watch someone point a gun at their husband and see if they didn't do everything they could to save them; To trade places with them; To keep them from hurting.

Derek got it. Which was why when she finally confessed what had happened while he was under, she wasn't worried about him judging her or calling her crazy.

But, for the first time, she cared about how this story was perceived. She cared about what this woman thought of her.

Thankfully, where she expected judgment or apprehension, she saw only loving concern. She grasped Carolyn's hand harder and continued.

"It was enough to distract him for a minute and Owen went for him but Clark was faster. He shot Owen in the shoulder and he went down. Jackson, one of the other residents who was assisting Cristina, had an idea and disconnected Derek's leads to make it look like he was flat-lining so the shooter would leave. It was a good idea. But I didn't know about it. I really thought he was dying in front of me."

Tears were slowly escaping and splashing onto her cheeks at this point.

"I don't think I can accurately describe what I was feeling, but it was the worst moment of my life," she managed around the sob forming in her throat.

"Meredith, you don't have to keep talking if you don't want to," Carolyn whispered gently.

"No, I'm fine." Meredith cleared her throat. "I just don't talk about this a lot."

She took a deep breath and proceeded to finish her story.

"Clark left after he was satisfied that Derek was 'dead' and Jackson reconnected his leads. While they finished up with Derek, April and I took Owen to an exam room to get his shoulder stitched up. He was fine. It was just a through and through that missed anything major. But while we were examining him, I had a miscarriage. The stress of the day was just too much I think. I was only 5 weeks along."

"No one should ever have to go through that," Carolyn replied sadly.

"And it took so long to get pregnant again," Meredith admitted worriedly. "That's why we started the adoption with Zola. And apparently, my uterus is hostile," she added, resenting her doctor's words once more.

"I've been so worried about miscarrying again. But I was a lot further along than the first time when I found out and Derek was so excited."

The image of her husband's face the day they got the news popped into her head, causing a wide smile to worm its way across her face. Smiling was nice. Smiling felt good.

"Meredith, I swear to God, you're a doctor."

Derek was not pleased to say the least.

However, Meredith was in no mood to deal with him either. Her head was swimming and, for the second morning in a row, she was propped up against the cool porcelain tub after emptying her stomach into the nearby toilet.

Also for the second morning in row, a concerned Derek was pacing agitatedly just outside the door to their en suite bathroom.

"Derek," Meredith moaned as loudly as she could manage.

"No, Meredith," he started firmly. "You were in an accident only 4 days ago. You're a doctor. You're a good doctor." He articulated every word to emphasize his point. "You sustained a head injury. You know that vomiting and dizziness are signs that something could be wrong."

"Derek," she moaned again. Honestly, did he have to be so loud right now?

"Meredith," he mimicked sternly.

This was going nowhere.

"Let me run the tests today."

"No."

"Meredith," he huffed exasperatedly. "You didn't let me run them yesterday and I let it go because you convinced me it was just something you ate. But it happened again and it's worse this morning. Why won't you let me help you?"

"Because I'm fine!"

In her frustration, she jerked her head up from its comfortable resting place against the tub to face Derek. It didn't take more than a second for her to regret her quick movement and before she could say anything more, she was once again reaching for the toilet lid.

Derek's scowl softened slightly, morphing into concern. He knelt beside his wife and gathered her hair away from her face and ran his hand up and down her back.

Once her stomach settled again, Meredith turned into Derek's chest this time instead of the side of the tub.

"One test," he pleaded into her hair.

"Derek, please."

"I'm worried about you. All I'm asking for is a neuro exam and a blood test. Twenty minutes of your morning and it'll make your husband feel so much better."

The second they stepped into the hospital, Derek practically dragged Meredith into an exam room. (And not for the fun things they usually did in exams rooms much to Meredith's dismay).

Once Derek was satisfied that she wasn't in any immediate neurologic danger, he drew a vile of her blood and sent it off to the lab.

Now the couple was waiting patiently for the lab tech to come back with the report.

"Results for M. Grey?" asked the man appearing in the window.

"Thank you." Meredith stepped up to take the paper and quickly started scanning the results.

"Derek…" she whispered, reading it over a third time.

'No,' thought Derek. 'No. This isn't happening. Meredith can't be sick. She has to be okay. This isn't really happening.'

"Derek." Her eyes were wide and shining with forming tears. She was gripping the paper like a life line.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he looked straight into his wife's wide, frightened eyes. "Whatever it is, Mer, we'll be okay. We'll get through it together."

Wordlessly, Meredith pushed the paper towards Derek so he could see for himself. Taking the paper he immediately scanned over the blood results.

Everything looked good so far. Levels were normal as far as he could see and bold 'negative's were stamped next to all the scary disease tests. His eyes traveled down the paper looking for the cause of Meredith's obvious distress.

Finally spotting the daunting, bold 'positive' at the bottom of the page, he followed the dotted line over to the corresponding test.

'Pregnancy Test'

'Pregnancy Test'

'Pregnancy Test'

Even after reading it three times, he still didn't quite believe it.

Finally, he looked up at Meredith who was staring back expectantly. Tears were slipping down her face, but the small smile tugging at the edges of her mouth hinted they were happy tears.

With a smile that took over his entire face and seemed to light up the entire hallway, Derek grabbed Meredith and folded her into tight hug.

The two stood in the hallway, ignoring the confused looks and gossiping nurses, allowing this unexpected and wonderful surprise to sink in.

"I bet Derek is beside himself," Carolyn answered warmly, bringing Meredith back to the present.

"He is," Meredith smiled. "And don't get me wrong, I am too. Or, at least, I'm trying to be. I've wanted a family with Derek for a long time now and I'm finally getting it. But I've been terrified for the past three weeks because I don't know what I would do if I lost this baby now."

"Just be happy, Meredith. Let yourself be happy. It's all you can do at this point."

Just before Meredith could respond, another presence joined the women in the kitchen.

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