Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I was busy hiding from a crazy, wooden spoon wielding fan.
That aside, we're almost done o.o
Just one more chapter followed by the epilogue and it'll be over!
Stay tuned!
The usual copyright BS. I don't own Animorphs and I ain't makin any money off this.
~The Last Ronin~
I don't hear the car pull up; the music I'm playing while fixing a loose floor board is too loud. But that's exactly what I want. My head is packed tight with too many thoughts; I can't think straight. So I'm trying to drown them out.
It's not really working.
"Excuse me? Is anyone home?" a voice, followed by loud knocking drifts over the song that's playing; some depressingly sad love song that has tears streaming down my face.
I quickly collect myself and turn off the radio. At the door I glance through one of the windows and step back with a curse. A short haired, dark skinned woman stands waiting, nervously playing with a sleeve on her navy pantsuit. Fantastic, it's probably child services or something. I so don't need this right now.
For a moment I consider running. They'd never be able to catch me. And if by some miracle they did they'd never be able to hold me. But I don't particularly feel like playing games right now. I've too much to do. Besides, I don't like running away.
"Can I help you?" I ask as I open the door a couple inches and peer out. The woman stares at me, her mouth open. Must be the wrong house, guess I can't help her after all. I start to close the door.
"No! Wait!" she yells, grabbing the knob and jamming her foot in the door, "Rachel? Rachel is that you?"
"Yes my name is Rachel." I answer slowly, looking closer at the woman, "Who are you?"
"My God," the woman gasps, her eyes wide, "It is you! But how?"
Before I can say anything she pulls the door open, throws her arms around me and bursts into tears.
What the hell is up with the people around here? Doesn't anyone understand the phrase 'personal space'? It takes me a few minutes to disentangle myself from her. Free at last, though, I hold her at arms length and examine her. There's a vague feeling of recognition, like I should know her, but I'm drawing a blank.
"I'm sorry," she grins, drying her eyes, "I didn't mean to attack you like that. It's just, it's been five years! We all thought you were dead...we watched you die!"
"I've been getting that a lot lately," I shake my head, "but could we please just skip to the part where you tell me who you are?"
x-x-x-x-x
Cassie. My best friend - or so I've been told. My memory, however, is still refusing to cooperate. She still seems familiar. But even after talking for a while nothing's ringing any bells.
Although, on the bright side, it hadn't taken me long to explain to her what was going on. Stories aren't very long when you don't know them. Heck, it had almost taken longer to hunt up something I could offer her to drink. I hadn't exactly been expecting company.
"So how did you find me?" I ask once I've caught her up on most of what's happened the past few weeks.
In response she produces a piece of paper with a lot of writing. It's a bank statement...with everything I've bought since my shopping trip when I...
"I started this account for Tobias in case he needed anything. Jake and Marco added to it too," she explains, "I've kept an eye on it, mostly to see where he is. Not that it helped any, he never used it. Then suddenly a week ago all this appeared. I was relieved, actually, I thought maybe he'd finally..."
She trails off but I know how she was going to finish. She thought he had finally gotten over me. I wince slightly as my heart gives a little twinge as I think about that.
"Then I saw this," she points to one particular purchase, "and I began to wonder why he was shopping at Victoria's Secret."
"Maybe he decided to try cross dressing?" I offer with a laugh, "Or you know, he could have been buying something for a girl."
"I came up with a lot of possibilities," she grins, "but in the end I just decided to check it out myself. You can imagine my shock when I asked the saleswoman to describe the buyer and she gave me a perfect description of you. Even identified you in a photo I showed her."
"I don't look that different from any other blond haired, blue eyed girl. It could have been anyone," I point out.
"True, but given the who the cardholder is and the fact that I still don't know anyone who can shop like you, I was fairly certain...though I still don't know how it's possible." she laughs, "Speaking of Tobias, I'm assuming you've seen him since you have his card. So where is he? I'd thought he'd be glued to you."
I wince again. I've been waiting for that question but I'm still not sure I want to answer it. Or can.
"Did something happen?" Cassie asks when I don't answer, obvious concern in her voice. Go figure. Of course she's the intuitive type.
"We're giving each other some space," I sigh. I probably shouldn't be talking about this but I really do want to get it off my chest. "Part of my memory returned last week and it made things...awkward."
"How so?" she's still concerned but she can't hide her curiosity. I take a deep breath.
"About a month before I...died, he asked me to marry him. I said yes."
"That's it?" she asks and then pauses, "Wait that didn't come out right. I mean you didn't remember anything else?"
"I remember that entire night," I feel my face redden and quickly continue, "but nothing else. I don't have any idea how we got there."
She nods, sipping at her iced tea and is quiet for a few minutes. I avoid her eyes, my face still hot. Surely she's figured out exactly what happened after I'd agreed to marry Tobias that night.
"I think I understand," she says at last, "so what are you going to do about it?"
"Well I want to get my memory back of course," I refill my own glass and take a sip.
"Do you?" she asks quietly, watching me over her drink.
"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I?"
"I get that you want answers beyond what you're being told," she tries to smile, but it turns into a grimace, "but there are a lot of nightmares in those memories too. We all have them. Things we wish we could forget...wish we could undo."
"Undo?" I ask and she waves me off.
"If your memory returns you'll know what I mean," she stands, looking at her watch, "I need to get going. If your memory doesn't return and you still want to know, I'll explain."
She pulls me into another hug and I awkwardly return it. I still don't really know her.
"You're not going to tell anyone I'm here, are you?" I ask, nervous about what the answer may be, "I don't think I can deal with anyone else that I'm supposed to know right now."
"I won't if you don't want me to," she smiles and hands me a card, "you can reach me here when you're ready to return to the world. I'll tell you where your family and everyone else is."
"Thanks," I pocket the card. I'll have to look into getting a cell phone or something.
"And Rachel," her voice cracks slightly, "I'm glad you're alive and...I'm so sorry for what happened."
"Wait, what?" I ask as she walks out the door, "What are you sorry about?"
She starts to wave me off again and then stops.
"Two more things," she calls over her shoulder, "don't give up on Tobias, he loves you more than you know. And head over The Gardens. We were there a lot so maybe you'll remember something."
Once more she waves, then gets in her car and drives away. I watch her go until the dust cloud disappears. What wasn't she telling me? And for that matter, who said anything about giving up? Obviously she doesn't know me as well as she thinks she does. I may be trying to figure out my next move right now, but I've every intention of fighting for the life I lost. I'll fight with everything I've got.
Oh well, at least she left me a new lead.
Going back inside I pull out a phone book and look up 'The Gardens'.
x-x-x-x-x
It didn't take me long to find out where The Gardens was located, but the bus ride over almost made me regret going. Although I hadn't dressed up any, there were a few tough looking guys who kept looking at me in a way that didn't make me think they just wanted my number. It irritated me, the way they were looking at me. I wasn't worried about them really. If they actually made any moves I could just morph to get away. But that thought irritated me too.
Damnit, why didn't I think of that sooner? I could have just turned into a bald eagle and flown. Oh well, no point now, I'm almost there. Irritated even more, I settle for pulling my baseball cap down lower over my eyes and zipping my jacket up higher.
Other than the unwelcome looks though, the trip is uneventful. I get off the bus in front of a large, friendly looking gate and follow the crowd. Soon I have a ticket, something else I wouldn't have needed had I flown, and I'm inside the park.
Wow this place is big. Rides everywhere. People everywhere. I can see why we would have spent a lot of time here; this place looks like a blast. Well, while I'm here I may as well enjoy myself. Who knows, maybe one of these rides will shake something loose.
x-x-x-x-x
I stumble off one of the roller coasters, my head whirling with a potent mixture of adrenaline and dizziness. For a minute I'm not sure if the ground is trying to jump out from under my feet or my feet are trying to jump out from under me. Eventually, though, everything stops spinning enough so I can walk somewhat straight.
Time for a break. I order myself a soda from a food stand and find a bench to sit on. It's been hours and, as much fun as I'm having, I'm not remembering anything. Okay, so I'm having a lot of fun although not one of these coasters is nearly as exciting as flying with Tobias. A pang of guilt shoots through me as I think about him. I should have waited to invite him along rather than just leaving a note.
Maybe he would know why Cassie sent me here. No, no. I have to do this on my own. I can't be relying on Tobias all the time.
Alright, enough messing around. I can see why a bunch of teenage kids would be here, but we hadn't just been teenage kids. We were Animorphs. So why would Animorphs come here often?
I look around, trying to find some sign. Maybe I should have gotten a park map. That probably would have helped. My eyes scan the crowd and I notice a little kid walking by with a stuffed panda as big as he is.
Oh, duh. I look in the direction he came from, finding the sign I'd been looking for. How had I not realized it sooner? Of course that's why we came here often. This place has a zoo.
x-x-x-x-x
Lions, tigers and bears. Oh my. I yawn. The little kids running around like maniacs are obviously having fun but I'm just bored. Sure the animals are cool and all, but I've been a lot of them...I think. This place definitely feels familiar, as do some of the animals, but nothing is happening.
No new memories.
God damnit.
I wish I knew what other animals I can become. Maybe morphing will trigger something. Just seeing these animals obviously isn't working. I yawn again. When I get back to the house I'll just have to start trying to turn into different creatures until I stumble across a few I can actually do.
Perhaps I'll head out then. It's getting late and it's clear I'm not going to remember anything here. Oh well, another somewhat dead end. I'll just swing by the bears again before I go, the grizzlies were kinda cool. And the gift shop of course, maybe pick up a stuffed hawk for Tobias. He might find it funny.
Now where am I? Arctic animals so I have to go...left? I think. Might as well. Left is as good a way as any I suppose.
I just reach the area where the landscape starts to change to match the habitat of a different set of animals when I hear them.
Screams; from the way I just came from.
Before I even realize what I'm doing I turn and retrace my steps. A mob of people are running towards me, which probably means I should be going the other way. I continue forward.
As I approach the arctic habitat again I notice that the ground is wet, a shallow layer of water coating it. Here and there I spot bits of broken glass, almost invisible in the clear liquid. A small, red tinted stream flows through the flood: blood.
What the hell?
Through the din of screams and running feet, another sound reaches my ears: crying. I turn towards the source and find two small children - a boy and a girl about four or five years old - huddled in a corner, howling for their mother. I hurry over to them.
"Are you two okay?" I ask.
"I want my mommy!" the girl wails, her brother unable to form words through his tears.
"Come on then," I hold out my hand, "lets go find her."
The boy starts to take my hand and then stops, his eyes opening wide as he stares past me.
"Teddy!" he points behind me, not nervous in the slightest.
Teddy? I groan. Vaguely I hear someone scream and a chill shoots up my spine. Slowly I turn around.
At first all I see is white streaked with red. Then I notice the two dark eyes and a black nose. My eyes refocus and a large section below the nose splits open to reveal several dozen yellow fangs.
With a snarl the creature lifts it's twelve something plus hundred pounds onto its hind legs and stares at me. My blood freezes as I stare back at it, my mind all but blank. For a moment a single thought is all I can form as the polar bear and I watch each other: not again. I've been here before, I'm certain. But the specifics float just outside my reach.
With a start my body comes back to life. Fight or run? Run, definitely run. Only, the kids...I can't run. So fight, but how? Doesn't matter. No choice. Have to fight.
"Stay behind me," I whisper to the two children, not looking away from the bear to see if they heard.
A picture forms in my mind and is gone too quickly for me to even register what it was. That's fine. My body knows. The changes have already begun. The only real question now is whether or not I'll have enough time.
"No," a small voice, my voice, whispers in my head, "No time. No time. Out of time."
Deep inside my mind, something cracks.