So I realized I suck at math. There is now one more chapter and then the epilogue.

Everything's written, I just need to type it all up and edit it now, so keep an eye out for the end of this little tale in the next few days!

The usual copyright BS. I don't own Animorphs and I ain't makin any money off this.

~The Last Ronin~

The trip back to the house isn't long enough but by the time I get there I feel as if I've swallowed a stone. A very large stone at that.

I know this is the right thing to do. But sending her with Tom five years ago had also been the right thing to do. Not for her, of course, but for the world. Didn't make it any easier to swallow then and it hadn't been my decision.

For the first time I understand exactly what that choice cost Jake.

Now here I am, years later, in his shoes. I have to let Rachel go. At least this time it's what's right for her. Still doesn't make it any easier.

It nearly killed me, watching her die. I don't know what letting her go will do to me. But that's just selfish. This won't kill anyone, however painful it will be. Besides, she's alive! That's all I've wanted for these past five years: to be able to see her smile again...even if I can't stay with her.

She deserves a second chance. Of all of us she deserves a chance at a normal life. But that can't happen so long as I'm around. I who am a constant reminder of the life she lost. I owe this to her. For all she gave me, it's time I gave her something in return.

Maybe someday...but no. No. No use hoping for a dream that can never be. She's alive. That will be enough.

It has to be enough.

I drop to the ground and begin to morph. Might as well get this over with. I should stay hawk. As a human I might not be able to...but she needs to know I'm serious. Just a quick goodbye and good luck and I'll leave and never come back. Never look back.

"Rachel?" I call as I enter the house. Maybe I should have knocked? But the house is quiet, she doesn't respond.

"Rachel?" I call again and wander through the rooms. There's no one here though and I find out why in the kitchen. Stuck to the refrigerator with a bear shaped magnet is a note in Rachel's tiny, neat handwriting:

Tobias-

I'm sorry I've been distant these past few days and I want you to know it's not because of anything you did. I've just had a lot I need to think about. I'm sorry, I should be telling you this in person but you've been giving me the space I needed. Thank you for that. Anyway, maybe you won't even see this.

Cassie stopped by. It didn't jog anything loose but she suggested I go check out The Gardens. So that's where I've gone. Join me?

My gut tells me that you've been brooding, like me I suppose. Whatever you decide though, please talk to me first, okay? This isn't just about you or me. It's about us.

It's weird right now, I know, but I'm not giving up. So don't you either. I will get my memory back. I need to know why I told you yes that night. I'm not questioning that choice, I just...I know I didn't start off loving you like this and I feel cheated. Cheated because we had this whole life together and I can't remember any of it!

I feel strange. It's only been two weeks since we met, again for you I know but it feels like the first time for me...my memory of that night aside. Two weeks though and already I think I've...well I think I'm falling for you. Maybe I've gotten more of my memory back than I realize?

I suppose it doesn't really matter if these feelings are from now or then. You're supposed to be in my life. And I want to be in yours. So please, give me a little more time. I'll try not to keep you waiting too long.

Love, Rachel

I swear she can read my mind sometimes. How did she know exactly what to say? I'd been ready to leave, to let her go, and somehow she'd been able to say the right words to completely destroy my resolve.

Fine, I'll stay if that's what she wants. I owe her a lot after all and if what she wants in return is me then I'll happily give myself to her.

I shake my head to dispel the tears that had been threatening to overflow. The Gardens huh? I wonder what Cassie said.

Heading back outside, I demorph. In the air again I turn towards a place I haven't visited in a long time.

I have a date. Maybe there is hope for us.

x-x-x-x-x

The Gardens are as busy as ever. How in the world am I going to find Rachel in all these people? Of course, this late in the day she may not even be here any more. After all, I don't have any idea when she left that note. But my gut tells me that she's still here...somewhere.

I see plenty of blond haired girls about the right age but none of them are Rachel. So I ride the thermals, scanning the crowds and the rides...

Wait a minute. Cassie must have sent her here because she thought it would jog her memory. But we'd never spent much time in the Park...we were always at the zoo. Surely Rachel figured that out as well...or maybe Cassie gave her more specific instructions than I'd been left.

A few small adjustments and I'm drifting over the wildlife habitats. Although this isn't much smaller an area to search, the zoo is considerably less busy so hopefully I'll be able to find her easier.

Now where is she?

Down below I notice something odd. A lot of people are hurrying in the same direction. Some are flat out running. That's when I hear the screams.

I groan. At least I know where Rachel will be if she's here. I head towards where the screaming is loudest, searching the ground as I do. Within seconds I discover what all the noise is about.

My body freezes, the hawk the only reason I stay air-born. The girl I love more than my own life is backed into a corner, locked in a stare down with a massive polar bear, trying to protect two small children.

For a moment I'm back aboard the pool ship, watching helpless as Rachel fights for her life - a fight we both know she's going to lose. All I can do is watch, tears blurring my eyes, as she stares defiantly at the morphed controller about to kill her. I knew she was trying hard to be brave, trying to pretend she wasn't scared. But in the last second before she died the mask shattered and all I saw was pure terror in her face.

No! Nonononono! Not again! I will not watch her die again! I shake myself from my stupor, fold my wings and dive.

[Rachel!] I scream, the hawk screaming with me. She's morphing but there's no way she's going to make it in time; I can see the polar bear's muscles bunching to strike. I'm not going to make it...

I scream again and the bear pauses and...yes!

My wings flare and I rake my talons forward just as the polar bear looks up. My talons come away bloody and the bear roars in pain, one of its eyes destroyed.

I quickly flap for some altitude and dive again. Climb, dive, climb, dive. I'm not getting anywhere near the height I need to do any more real damage but that's fine. I just need to distract it long enough for Rachel to finish morphing.

Climb, dive, climb dive.

Climb, WUMPH! The polar bear's paw smashes into me, sending me tumbling to the ground. Agony seers through me as I hear my bones snap and I scream once more. Gotta morph. Gotta distract it till Rachel...

The changes start before I even realize I'd picked a form, but slowly my human features emerge. Why had I picked human? Doesn't matter, I won't make it. The polar bear is standing over me. Human or bird, I don't stand a...

A loud bellow shakes the ground and a brown wall slams into the polar bear, knocking it off its paws. Through my dulling vision I watch Rachel, in full grizzly bear morph, charge after her downed foe.

Fast as I can, I finish my morph and scramble out of the way, dragging the two kids Rachel had been protecting with me, as the two bears wrestle across the wet ground.

I get the kids to a group of onlookers a hundred or so yards away and then sprint back despite several people yelling at me to stay. Moments after I arrive the fight ends as one of Rachel's paws connects with the polar bear's head with a sickening crunch. The bear drops like a one and a half ton bag of cement.

There really had been no other way the fight could have ended. With its injuries the polar bear didn't have a chance against Rachel in grizzly morph. Still, I let out a breath I didn't realized I'd been holding.

"Rachel? Are you okay?" I ask quietly. She stands there, breathing heavily but her ears perk up as she hears me approach.

She whirls on me, lets out a bellow and charges. Oh no...I forgot she hasn't morphed her grizzly in a long time...she's lost control. I plant my feet, don't move and meet the bear's gaze with my own. Being a predator myself I know the absolute worst thing I can do is turn and run. Only the weak run and those that are weak are prey.

The grizzly stops short in front of me, stamps its paws and bellows. Saliva hits my face and it's breath blows my hair wildly but I continue to stare it down. It's confused by my behavior. It knows how strong it is, how much larger it is than I am. But I don't run and it doesn't understand why.

"Rachel, listen to me," I say quietly so I don't spook her, "It's me, Tobias. You've morphed your grizzly bear and have lost control of it."

The bear watches me. But whether it's still confused or just trying to figure me out I don't know.

"Rachel, retake control," I take a deep breath as the bear sticks its nose in my face, sniffing me, "focus Rachel. You're a sixteen year old girl with blond hair and blue eyes who loves shopping and flying with me."

The bear lifts itself up on its hind legs to look at me and stops. Its eyes widen.

[To...Tobias?] Rachel's confused and horrified voice fills my head.

"Rachel," I sigh and she starts to lower herself back down.

It takes me a moment to register the rifle crack.

"You idiot! I said don't shoot!" a familiar voice yells from behind me. I barely hear it. I'm too busy staring at the small hole that has appeared in Rachel's chest.

"Rachel!" I scream as she slumps forward. I wrap my arms around her neck and her weight forces me to the ground.

"Rachel? Rachel! Demorph!" I nearly shriek, trying to hold her head so I can look her in the eyes.

[Tobias?] she asks, her voice sounding distant, detached.

"Rachel, you listen to me!" I shake her as best I can, "I did not wait five years for you only to have you die on me again! I'm not giving up on you so don't you quit on me. Now demorph!"

A groan escapes her throat but the changes start, even as a large amount of blood begins to pool around us. She demorphs, slowly - excruciatingly slowly. Gradually the bear melts away, leaving behind a shivering Rachel. Her eyes find mine for a moment and then her face turns green. Seconds later she pitches to the side and I hold her hair back as she throws up into the pool of blood.

It doesn't take long for her to empty her stomach and once she does I pull her back into my arms as she shivers and sobs.

"It's going to be okay," I whisper, my arms tightening around her, "it's going to be okay."

But I can see in her eyes that she can't hear me. She's far away, reliving another life. So I hold her and wait. Amidst a pool of blood and vomit, with emergency workers trying to see if we're injured, I wait for her to come back to me.

Like I did before.

Like I know I always will.