So I almost ended this at the last chapter. It would have been a great way to leave it. But, I didn't, so final chapter before the epilogue! We're almost done!

P.S. Yes I realize I stole the title of this chapter from Twilight...once again, bite me =P

The usual copyright BS. I don't own Animorphs and I ain't makin any money off this.

~The Last Ronin~

I'm not sure how I got back to the house, Cassie's old house, but when I wake up that's where I am. The last thing I remember is...well, I wince, everything. My family, the war, dying, me. More importantly though...

"Tobias?" I look around the room, squinting in the dim light. I don't have to look long, he sits on the back of a chair, watching me.

[How are you feeling?] he asks, already morphing.

Rather than answer, I wait until he's fully human then throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. For a moment I can feel his surprise but it quickly passes and he kisses me back, his own arms wrapping tightly around me.

x-x-x-x-x

"I take it your memory returned," he chuckles when we come up for air some time later.

"Yeah...all of it," I shudder as I recall that terrifying time after the Ellimist left me.

"Bad?" he whispers, his arms tightening around me.

"Real bad," I whisper back and then laugh. We've had this conversation before, but with our roles reversed.

"I'm not going to ask," he says after a minute, "but if you decide you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks," I kiss him, "but I'd really rather forget."

The irony.

We don't move for a while but eventually he shifts slightly and I groan.

"You have to demorph don't you."

"Yeah, give me a minute," he disentangles himself from me and I sigh.

"We should probably get ready, face the world and all," I sigh again, starting to get up, "how long was I asleep? What's going on?"

"Three days," he answers once he's human again, "and the world can wait."

He pushes me back down, his lips already on mine. Somehow I don't have the will to argue.

x-x-x-x-x

Eventually we emerge, more or less ready to see what the world has been up to the past three days. Cassie is waiting for us, having been at the zoo when the polar bear broke loose.

It's slightly awkward seeing her, now that my memory has returned. If not for her the Yeerks would not have gotten the morphing cube and I might never have had to go on that suicide mission. Never would have died and been forced to...

But that's the past. I knew her well enough to know she hadn't done what she did to hurt me. She had been trying to protect someone she cared about. I can empathize with that.

Just because I understand, though, doesn't make it less awkward. Still we hug and talk and it's almost like old times. The years certainly haven't given her a sense of fashion for one.

A lot of friends trickled in over the next few days. Naturally someone had recorded the battle with the polar bear and it had become serious news. It didn't take long after that for people to figure out who I was. And if the media wasn't already having a field day with the zoo battle, they went absolutely nuts when they realized I was a war hero somehow back from the grave.

Ax sent a message apologizing for not being able to come right away but expressing his joy at my no longer being dead. He promised he would visit as soon as his duties and z space allowed. Prince Ax...that was going to take some getting used to.

Marco shows up at almost the same time as Ax's message. He's grown up. Sorta. Much to his irritation he discovers that he's still shorter than me, despite having gotten taller. But he quickly proves that he really hasn't changed all that much when, with an apology to Tobias, he kisses me. Not a friendly "nice to see you again" kiss either. I wait for him to finish, silently listing the ways I can kill him.

"Nothing?" he asks, once he lets me go, grinning like an idiot.

I deck him across the jaw and then we both burst out laughing. Tobias is less amused but even he has a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Man, I never thought I'd say this but I missed you Xena," his grin falters for a moment and some of the joking leaves his voice, "when you...well, lets just say it's a good thing we won that day because what happened to you broke us. So seriously, I'm glad you're back."

And then he does something I'd only ever seen him do once before though I hadn't been on the receiving end the first time. He hugs me and cries.

"Don't tell anyone I said that...or did that," he grins again once he collects himself, "I have a reputation to keep up after all."

We laugh. It feels good to be able to do that again after all we've been through. Marco and I had never been close. We hadn't even been friends really. We'd been fellow soldiers, nothing more. Now perhaps, maybe we can be friends. Especially since he isn't nearly as obnoxious as he used to be.

As people visit I'm offered numerous opportunities to appear on talk shows and awards ceremonies and such. Some I accept. I don't particularly like living off of Tobias' money...not that he's complaining...but I feel like I'm taking advantage of him. So the appearances that pay well I take. The rest I politely decline. Even with the few I do accept, I soon have a nice amount tucked away.

Among my first visitors are my family. My dad shows up almost before the news stations has finished cutting together the zoo story. He's followed shortly by my sisters and my mother. We all cry and hug and even my parents are civil with one another. Apparently my death has gone a long way in mending some of the animosity between them, though I don't think it's enough to get them back together again.

It's my mother, ever the lawyer, who first asks the question I can't answer.

"Rachel, honey, I'm so happy you're okay," she starts to cry, "and I don't want to sound ungrateful, but how? I saw you...how?"

I look away. I want to tell her the truth. She would probably be able to understand it after what she went through at the end of the war. But I can't.

"It's a big universe," I say quietly, evading the question, "besides, I had a promise to keep."

With the last part I glance over to Tobias where he stands watching me. We haven't been apart since my memory returned. He looks at me, smiles and gives the slightest nod in answer to my unasked question. My heart leaps.

"Later," he mouths and I realize he's referring to more than just my question. I nod slightly in return. Yes I'll tell him everything later.

Eventually the visit I've been dreading arrives. Jake. As awkward as Cassie had been, this is even more-so. He's aged. The sixteen year old boy I knew is long gone: replaced instead by a man much older than his twenty-one years.

We stand silently for a while, just looking at each other. What do you say to the person who sent you to die?

I don't know how much time passes before he takes a step forward and carefully hugs me, as if afraid I might break. Then I get the next surprise since Marco. Jake loses it. For a moment I stand there, my shock mirrored on Tobias' face, as Jake sinks to the ground, clutches me around my waist and breaks down.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeats over and over.

I drop to my knees and hug him. When he gave me that last mission I'd told him I'd understood. I'd hated him for it, but I'd understood. Now, watching him cry like this I realize what that decision had done to him. Neither the hatred I nor Tobias felt for him for what he did is anything compared to what he feels for himself.

After crying himself out he stays for a while and we talk. It's still awkward though and he soon leaves. Although my being alive again and his apology greatly helped matters, it isn't enough to heal the rift between us. Only time can possibly do that, though to be honest I'm not even sure that will be enough.

Things calm down after a while and Tobias and I are left alone. Cassie and her parents had signed the deed to the house over to us since they had no intention of doing anything with it now. So I went back to my renovations. It was good to have a hobby while I figured out what to do with the rest of my life. And it gave me time to get my thoughts in order on how to tell Tobias what I hadn't been able to tell my parents.

It takes me a few weeks to figure out what to say and by then I'm running out of time. I'm on a deadline and it's nearly here. I need to tell him.

"Can we talk?" I ask one night while we relax under the stars after an evening of flying.

"Uh-oh," Tobias chuckles and looks at me, "what did I do?"

"It's what I did actually," I laugh, taking his hand, "remember that question my mom asked?"

He nods and squeezes my hand. He hasn't said anything more about it since it happened but I know he's been itching for me to explain.

"Well, it's a weird story," I start, "but I swear it's true."

"Rachel, our story is a weird one," he laughs, "so just tell me. I'm not going anywhere."

So I do. It takes me the night but I tell him everything I can't tell anyone else: what it was like to die, how scared I was when I began to forget, the story of the one who saved me, the reason for my memory loss, the deal I'd made to come back and the future I'd accepted because of it.

When at last I finish I watch him carefully, wondering what his reaction will be. In truth, part of me is more than a little afraid of what it might be.

"Jeeze Rachel," he shakes his head and laughs, "Why am I not surprised?"

"What?" I'd been expecting yelling and cursing. A lot of things really, but not this.

"You weren't satisfied dying in one war so rather than relaxing in death you run off to find another one to fight," he laughs again and kisses my hand.

"It's not really a war," I point out, a little relieved that he's taking it so well.

"Yeah I know, you're a prison guard,"

"I'm not just a prison guard!"

"Ok, a glorified prison guard," he chuckles.

I pull away and turn my back on him, more than a little annoyed. To think this is the person I eagerly sold my soul to be with!

He slides up behind me and wraps me in a tight hug. When I don't respond he presses a kiss to the side of my neck. I sigh. Fine, I guess I can't stay mad at him.

"How long," he asks quietly, the playfulness gone from his voice.

"I don't know," I answer in an equally quiet voice, "not much more than fifty years, if that."

"Fifty years?" he winces, "That's all the time I get with you and then you're off to play soldier for eternity?"

"Tobias, no!"

"It's not enough," he growls, his arms tightening around me, "how could you think I'd be satisfied with so little time?"

My heart swells and I squirm in his arms till I'm facing him.

"Do you think I'm happy with so little time either?" I grab his face in my hands so he can't look away, "I want forever too."

"And yet you're going to leave," he's trying hard to hide the misery in his voice. Fifty years is more than we would have had had I not...but I want more than that as much as he does.

"No I'm not!" I yell at him, "Why do you think I told you all this? To hurt you?"

He glares at me for a minute and then drops his eyes.

"It doesn't have to be just fifty years," I whisper.

"What do you mean Rachel?" he looks back at me and I can see the hope in his eyes, "You just said..."

"Tobias," I take a deep breath, "the reason I was able to tell you all this is because my Boss has an offer for you too."