III.
Horizon was a disaster. Kaidan's emotions ran high as he sat in some sleazy Omega bar- he couldn't remember the name. He hated the feel of the place; the pounding music, the screaming, animated dancers, the only thing it was all good for was giving him a splitting headache and a lot of alcohol.
Shepard.
That bastard. Joining up with Cerberus of all people? Kaidan motioned for the turian bartender to pour him another round. How could he do that, after what they'd been through? His head hurt harder as he grabbed his new glass of whatever the hell he was drinking, and knocked it to the back of his throat.
He was getting wasted. He didn't care. His glass was full again, and in his mouth before his face dropped to the bar, cheek pressing flat against the smooth surface. Who knew what kind of bacteria was lurking there. In a place as dirty as this, it could be anything. Normally he'd avoid it, stay cautious, on his toes in a place as sketchy as this.
Kaidan couldn't bring himself to care.
He thought of how unwell Shepard looked on Horizon. His face had new scars, and his eyes had begun emitting a sort of mechanical glow from his reconstruction. Was he even human anymore? Probably not, he was dead for two years after all. Kaidan choked on a sob, wanting nothing more than the man he loved to be back with him. But, Cerberus? He couldn't do it. He didn't want any part of that.
Kaidan let out a groan, his stomach churning from the liquor and heart-wrenching thoughts of a life where there was another Shepard in the galaxy, but not his Shepard. He let out another pathetic, whimpering noise, wanting nothing more than to be in his bed, with his lover, face against his groin, inhaling his scent. He'd love to be happy again.
What was he thinking?
What was I thinking?
Before he knew it, he had wandered off, and his body was slumped in the corner. The corner of... it looked like some sort of back room. Where one would escape the dancing and drinking to just sit back. There were windows, looking out over the industrial landscape, all the hustle and bustle of the Omega slums. The room was occupied- four krogans standing around talking with each other, and two human females cuddling on the couch. They were pretty, Kaidan observed, struggling to get back on his feet.
"Human." One of the krogans grunted, nodding in Kaidan's direction. The pain from his skull had numbed his senses for the moment, leaving all the noises of the nightclub just a dull buzz. His vision was blurring, as the beast advanced towards him. He didn't look threatening, but he still didn't look like he was looking to be friends either. Kaidan groaned, tripping over his feet when he started backing up. The large, scaly hand of the krogan caught him by the shoulder, propping him up.
He laughed heartily, patting Kaidan firmly on the back. It hurt. A lot. "Had enough to drink there, huh!" He was loud and boisterous. His friends were laughing along with him. Kaidan didn't understand the situation, his surroundings, the huge-ass alien eyeing him up and down. Kaidan's mouth hung open, and could not realize he had drunk himself into a complete stupor. "I... Guh- uh... Whaaaat...?" He mumbled, eyes half-lidded. He wanted to go back to Intai'sei.
"Hey, now. What about you and I go someplace cozier and have a little fun?" The krogan offered, rubbing circles on Kaidan's armoured back. "I-I..." No, of course he didn't want that. He wanted to leave, have a cold shower, hide in Shepard's bed until his headache was gone, and cry himself to sleep.
"I want Shepard." Kaidan whined, falling into the krogan. He was big. Bigger than most. He looked old, too, about the same age Wrex probably was. Less scarred, though. He didn't look like a soldier at all compared to the krogan he'd ran into in the past- his armour seemed much too stylish and comfortable. Really comfortable, Kaidan noted when he began nuzzling his face into the chest of the alien. The closeness of another body was refreshing.
The krogans were laughing, louder. The music was louder. Everything was louder. Kaidan cried out, as the alien holding him by the shoulder began to drag him somewhere else. There was a flair of blue light, surging to Kaidan's fingertips. The power was shocking, and all eyes were on them now after hearing the tell-tale noise of a biotic flash. "No..." Kaidan cried out, tearing his arm away, falling back on his plush buttocks from the sudden movement.
"Don't... No- stay away." Kaidan mumbled, not making eye contact. His arms laid loosely in his lap, and his entire body felt heavier. He looked up pathetically from his spot on the floor.
That krogan wasn't leaving. It was just standing there, looming over him. Nobody in the room was leaving- all of their eyes were on Kaidan, his tear-streaked face, his disheveled hair. Now the krogan was looking like he was going to charge. "Nobody says no to a krogan warlord." It snarled.
Warlord? You look like a fucking salarian queen compared to the krogan warlords I've killed!
Or that's what he was thinking of saying, anyways. "War-" Kaidan began, cut off by the giggling of the two women on the couch.
"Come here." The alien growled. He grabbed Kaidan by the scruff of his neck, and held him up off the ground, toes just barely brushing the floor. Kaidan tried to summon forth his biotics, but he could only muster sparks that's only purpose was for tickling your partner in the bedroom.
He met the krogan eye to eye, trying to stare it down. Like that was going to work. The krogans on the other side of the room began whooping again, the women on the couch chuckling softly. The biotic was lowered to the floor again- not very gently. He looked down, ready to boost himself up on his feet again, before a hand curled its way into his hair and pulled.
Kaidan's face was suddenly pressed into krogan balls- all four testicles. "Ugh-" He groaned, disgusted, trying to get away from the stench of alien genitals.
"Blow me."
"No. No, never, I dun... I dun wanna'..." Kaidan's voice failed him, as his face nudged the appendage. It was rough, and hot, and probably angrier than the actual krogan it was attached to.
"Suck me, human."
"Agh- no..." Kaidan's tongue was instinctively running up the shaft while he spoke. It tasted gross, sour and musky. He didn't know much about krogan cum, either, but it probably wasn't good for him, and he didn't want to have it splattered all over him. With four testicles, too, there was bound to be a lot of it.
"Go... 'way." Kaidan managed to use his words once again. Everyone in the room burst out laughing, now. There was a few other people in the doorway now, too, just standing and watching. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Kaidan choked, his mouth trying to suckle the tip of the krogan member.
"Suck, or I'll fucking break your neck." The krogan sneered, balling up a fist in Kaidan's hair, pulling it fiercely.
"U-Unn, no...!" Kaidan cried, tears pouring from his eyes as he lapped at the cock desperately. He wanted to cry for help, but the audience only urged him on. His head was pounding. The music was pounding. The laughter was worse. He didn't want to this. He didn't want do this. I don't want to this.
"I... I dun wannaaa'..." Kaidan ached, engulfing the tip of the member in his mouth, swirling his barely trained tongue over the rough bumps and edges. It felt never-ending, the krogan grunting in frustration as Kaidan tried so hard to do a good job so he could keep his neck intact.
The krogan finally made a noise of disgust, slapping Kaidan hard across the face. He cried out, falling to the floor in a heap, his biotics briefly going off in self defense, trying to conjure up a barrier and failing.
"I've gotten better blowjobs from vorcha!" The krogan shouted, spitting on Kaidan's face before jerking off onto his limp body. Half a gallon of semen, at least, oozed over the nearly skin tight armour Kaidan had been sporting. "Get out of here." He snarled, joining the others of his kind on the opposite side of the room.
Kaidan wanted to 'get out of here', more than anything. I want Shepard, the thought raced through his head. He wanted to get out of here, and he wanted Shepard. As he rose, thick cum dripped off his black, shiny medium armour. The multispecies crowd roared with laughter as they slowly began dissipating, less amused now that the human boy was up and didn't have lizard dick in his mouth anymore.
It hurt everywhere. This would be all over the extranet in minutes, and his reputation as top Alliance brass would be ruined, along with his less important armour. He stumbled towards the exit, knowing how pathetic he looked- face smeared with a krogan loogie, and fat, heartbroken tears , hair a perfect mess, alien spunk dripping off of him as he walked into the hoards of people.
It made him sick. He made himself sick. While trying to choke back another sob, Kaidan gagged and doubled over, puking out the contents of his stomach all over what was probably the dance floor. He couldn't tell where he was or what was going on anymore, other than that he needed to get out.
He sat on his knees, keeled over as he dry heaved, eyes burning, brain throbbing. He vomited once more, from the pain, the humiliation, the alcohol, and probably other things that could have also cause nausea. He dragged his knees through his own sick, trying to get up while adding another nice mixture of body fluid to his armour.
A turian made it's way to Kaidan's side, offering a hand, singling itself out as the only compassionate being in the club. Kaidan returned with a half-smile. "Thh... Thank you." He whispered, probably unable to be heard over the electronic, techno, hipster whatever music that was thumping away endlessly.
"Kaidan."
The sentinel's eyes widened. He coughed out some phlegm, swiping desperately at his eyes, trying to prevent his blurring vision. Of course there was something that'd make the whole situation worse.
"Shhhh... Shepar- John. John..." He slurred, staring at the man himself, standing proud and tall behind him. He was accompanied by Tali and Garrus. Good to see even more familiar faces.
"What the Hell are you doing?" He snarled, full, kissable lips curling up in disgust. His face looked all the more intimidating with those eyes of his glowing in the dark club.
"John, I... I need y-" Kaidan tried to talk without bursting into tears, breathing heavier. "Dun' leave." He murmured, looking up at the commander with a heartbroken, dirtied face. And, for a moment, in return, he could see that loving, compassionate gaze, full of hope and strength that he knew so well.
It faded quickly. "Krogan blowjobs, huh? That's how you get your kicks these days?" Shepard snapped, arms crossed across his chest. Tali and Garrus were shifting uncomfortably. "Shepard, let up, it looked like he was being attacked. I mean, it's Alenko." Garrus tried talking down that angry glare John was wearing. That didn't help much.
"I can't believe you. You sicken me." Shepard snarled.
"John...?" Kaidan blinked in disbelief.
They looked at each other, exchanging passionate gazes. "Don't leave." Kaidan begged again. John's heart couldn't take it, though, he couldn't handle another rejection from Kaidan, and he turned away before he found himself falling in love all over again.
"Take care of yourself." Shepard gritted angrily before jabbing Garrus in the side, telling him wordlessly to leave. The pair sauntered off, pushing through the crowds of people and aliens.
"Don't leave..."
Tali fidgeted her fingers quickly, looking back at Shepard and Garrus, making sure she could catch up to them. Carefully she put her hand on Kaidan's shoulder. "It will be okay." She encouraged, shocking Kaidan slightly. He never thought of Tali to be the caring and concerning type, but, then again, he was really drunk, and could have been completely misjudging her.
"Wha'..." Kaidan groaned back at her, teetering from side to side.
"He loves you. He really does. Don't give up hope." She smiled from behind her helmet, and scurried off after the commander.
He loves me? Then why does he make me feel this way?
The last thought of Kaidan's before he passed out in his own bile was how jealous he was of Garrus and Tali, and how they were still able to stand by his side.
How they could still be trusted.
How they could still be loved by him.