A little breather between heartbeats
She Learned the Truth at 17 by Oldest Man
Chapter 5
Her apartment felt empty just like she did. Kate opened a bottle of wine to let it 'breathe' while she took a bath. She felt dirty and needed a bath. Maybe the hot water and bath oil would leach out some of the tension she felt. Nothing would touch how hurt she felt and how badly she hurt for Castle.
Kate checked her cell phone for messages and saw that her father had called her twice and that Lanie had called 4 times. She remembered turning off her cell phone when she entered the hospital.
She took the wine bottle and a glass and her cell phone into the bathroom. She shed her clothes in a pile and eased into the hot water. She felt relaxed after the second glass and called Lanie.
"Hey, Lanie. I had my phone off in the hospital. What's up." She tried for nonchalance but didn't fool Lanie for an instant.
"I saw the newspaper, Kate. How are you handling yourself? Need some company?"
"I'm fine, Lanie. It just took me by surprise. Castle was more upset that I was. He lowered the boom on the hospital, cut all funding and checked himself out AMA."
"Uh huh. Yeah, sure. Look, I'm coming over there. I want to make sure you're really 'fine and dandy' like you say."
"Okay, so I'm not fine. I fell apart and I just made things worse. Castle got out of bed and followed me and he saw me crying and, oh, Lanie, I made him feel horrible. He blames himself for my melt down and – and he even offered to pay for an operation to make it up to me. He feels so responsible but it was me, me, who claimed to be his fiance to keep his daughter out of CPS."
"So why are you at home when you should be with him? He's going to be in tremendous pain and if you said he walked on it, he's probably set himself back a long ways. No doubt he'll be the next one getting the operation not you."
"I could never take his money for something like that. Look, I'm in the tub and it's getting cold. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Deflection thy name is Beckett.
Loft
Alexis watched as her dad hopped and hobbled his way into his study and closed the door. He blamed himself for the photos in the newspaper even though he had nothing to do with it. Someone at the hospital probably tipped off the press and they gathered outside the loft like vultures.
She loved her father more than anything but sometimes she hated the life he lived. Living in a fishbowl with a daughter who looked like a reject from 'SAW' wasn't easy for him although he did the best job anyone could ever do of keeping her out of the limelight.
It was what had killed so many budding relationships for him in he past except for publicity hounds like Gina who craved the limelight for both personal and professional reasons. He wore two wedding rings on a gold chain to remind him of the fallacies of 'true' love.
She had hoped that something might blossom between the Detective and her father but knew it was doomed before the incident with the paparazzi. She was just too scarred in spirit to allow someone like her father past her walls.
Alexis knew all about walls. She had her own and from her recent experiences and observations, she needed to build them thicker and stronger. Not everyone was a sweetheart like her dad.
12th Precinct
Lanie was waiting for Kate at her desk when she arrived. She watched as her friend walked through the corridor and into the bullpen still wearing her sunglasses.
"Hey, Kate. Bright sunny day?" It was raining outside.
"Give it a rest, Lanie. I had a bad night and this morning hasn't been exactly perfect either. What do you have on the body the guys called me in on yesterday afternoon?"
"He was dumped in that vacant lot. No blood and believe me if you hacked of someone's arms you'd have blood even after death. He's got the same faded tattoo as the other guy and he was shot in the same manner, execution style, with a 9mm. Ballistics is checking the bullets but I'll bet they're from the same weapon."
"That's it?"
"That's all I got. Want to grab a coffee and you can tell me all about what you soft-pedaled last night over the phone?"
"There's nothing else to tell. You won't see Castle around here. We agreed that he shouldn't come in any more. End of story." They hadn't agreed but it made it more palatable when she put it in those terms.
Lanie could tell there was more but she'd bide her time and ask again when the moment was right.
Ryan and Esposito signaled her that they wanted to talk 'in private' so Kate excused herself and got coffee (Castle's coffee, her traitorous mind supplied) and walked casually into the observation room. They had files spread out on a table and were impatiently waiting for her.
"I put in a query about murders with the same M.O. and got three more hits. One in Queens, one upstate in Salamanca and the third out on the island in Massapequa. All occurred within the past 3 months and all of them were marked 'closed' and then taken over by a special FBI task force.
Loft
Alexis had wanted to stay home from school and 'look after him' but he sent his little would be Florence Nightingale off to be educated. He told her that he would be fine. He had his cell phone, TV and intended to finish off his novel and then sleep the rest of the day away.
Castle hadn't slept a wink the night before. He'd been driven to finish off the Nikki Heat novel and then, he told himself, he would sleep. The constant white hot pain in his leg kept him awake and edgy, just what he needed to finish up his one and only foray into big city crime solving.
Gina had emailed back a brief, for her, critique and he'd made changes in voice and some minor word substitutions and emailed it back. Once the galleys were ready and approved and the cover art finalized, the real work was done and Gina and her crew would start the marketing and promotions. The book would hit the shelves and stores right after Halloween but in time for Christmas sales.
He took two oxycodone tablets and dry swallowed them. The two he'd taken 2 hours earlier hadn't worked as advertised. He still felt.
Sighing in resignation, he closed down his computer and walked, (was 'crutched' a word?), through the loft but one look at the short staircase to his bedroom was enough discouragement so he put in a DVD and sat on the couch propping his leg on the coffee table.
His senses betrayed his calm and flooded him with memories of the previous day. What a rat screw his life had turned into.
12th Precinct
Beckett was drinking coffee and leaning against her desk studying the murder board when she caught sight of an entourage of black suits filing into the Captain's office. Ryan nudged Esposito who took in the group and then walked over to his boss.
"Want me to start gathering up the files so the Feds can get in and out without stinking up the place?"
"No. Make them ask. All of these victims have one thing in common and that's the tattoo, the exact same tattoo as the White Eagles patch. Castle knew exactly what it was. Damn him, he would have to go all noble on me when I need him here."
"Beckett, a word?" The same phrase he'd used months ago when she first met Castle. She shook her head and then walked to the captain's office. It was infested with FBI agents.
"Detective Beckett, this is Special Agent in Charge Jordan Shaw. She's here to…"
Beckett sighed and looked down, a habit she thought she'd broken being around Castle.
"I'll have the boys get the files together." She started to leave when a woman's soft alto voice said, "You don't understand. We're here to set up a joint task force with your team. You're making better progress and we figure combining information and staff makes sense."
Agent Shaw and Beckett were sitting at her desk staring at her murder board drinking some of 'Castle's coffee' and getting to know one another. It had been a long afternoon.
"So tell me about Richard Castle, Kate. I saw the Post. I'll bet things were tense between you two last night."
"Yeah, but things happen. He blames himself. It wasn't his fault but he thinks it was. He won't be coming around anymore."
"Yeah, that's probably for the best. Being together 24/7 is taxing on a relationship." Shaw had made an assumption about Kate and Rick but Kate set her straight.
"There is no relationship. We're not even friends anymore." Her voice betrayed her and when Shaw asked for details, Kate unloaded on her leaving, the FBI agent more than a little uncomfortable with her assumptions.
"Wow. That's a lot to take in. Kate, I never noticed the scarring and I'll bet that Castle didn't either other than to note it and then move things along. He sounds like someone I'd like to get to know."
"He's the one who made the connection between the tattoo and the White Eagle Militia. He makes the most intuitive leaps that leave me breathless sometimes. Other times, his ideas are dumber than a bag of hammers."
"Wait here. I have something I want to show you." Shaw walked away for a few moments and then returned with a folder full of photographs.
"See anyone familiar here?" She handed Kate the file and she sat down and started leafing through the thick stack of photographs until she stopped at one of three men standing together in the rubble of a blown up building.
"That guy on the left with the scoped rifle – he looks like Castle might have as a kid, I mean a teenager. I'd know that smile anywhere."
Jordan took the photograph and turned it over and read the legend on the reverse side. "That's Sergeant E5 Richard Alexander Rogers, US Army, attached to I-FOR Peace Keepers in Bosnia. The officer in the center is a Spanish Major in charge of the unit. The guy to the right is Dalton Jefferson, US Army, Rogers' spotter."
Kate's mind flashed back to the confrontation with the hospital administrator. 'Alexis Rogers Foundation'.
"You're saying Castle is the Rogers guy? That's ridiculous. Castle's not the soldier type, believe me. 'I didn't have to fill out this much paper work to get into the Army.'
"I want to talk to him. Bring him in. Can you account for his whereabouts at the time of the murders?"
"No. But I don't want to bring him in. He checked himself out of the hospital AMA and he's probably unable to walk today after the dumb stunt he pulled yesterday." She told Jordan the 'bare bones' about the hospital, leaving out the personal stuff.
"Okay then. Saddle up. I'll bring one of mine and you take one of yours. I'll drive."
Loft
The doorman had called up to Castle's loft and then handed Beckett a key. "Mr. Castle is unable to walk to the door and he asked if you'd mind just letting yourself in?" Kate took the key and glared a warning at Shaw who responded with "We just want to talk with him, Kate, nothing more, I promise."
Kate knocked on the door and then unlocked it and the four entered the foyer. She called out for 'Rick' and he answered from the living room.
He was still on the couch with his leg propped up on the coffee table just as he'd been for the last 6 hours. Alexis would be home soon and he wanted to have a snack ready for her but he just hurt too damned much to move.
"Rick, this is Special Agent Jordan Shaw. We're working together on a task force to investigate the White Eagle Militia murders. She has some questions for you."
He looked ill and pale and sweaty. She saw the Scotch bottle and the open container of pain pills he'd been given when he left the hospital. Kate made no comment, just walked into the kitchen and found a small towel and ran cold water and returned. She sat down beside him and washed his face with the cold towel and then patted it dry.
"Thanks, Kate. Feel better already. Ask your questions, Agent Shaw."
"Are you Richard Alexander Rogers?" She went for the throat. If he said 'yes' then she knew she had her man.
"Yeah but I legally changed it to Richard Edgar Castle when I started to publish." He knew where this line of questioning was headed and so he struck first.
"You want to know about the 'incident', right? You think I'm the one who's hacking off these guys' arms and then executing them. You're wrong but I sure as hell can't prove it. Sit down. I'll tell you a story."
He gestured to the other couch and a chair. Kate sat down beside him, feeling the need to be near him while he spun his tale.
Rick covered his assignment to I-For and a company of Spanish Peace Keepers – the Matamoros Company that could trace its lineage back to 1492 when the Moors were finally pushed out of Spain.
They'd been quartered in a Croat village of Bosniaks when they got word that the White Eagle Militia were moving towards the village and they were ordered to withdraw. The Spanish commander, a Major, refused the order and deployed his men to defend the village. Rick and his spotter were sent up into a forested hillside to observe and report enemy movements by radio.
Both Rick and Jefferson had formed 'attachments' with local girls although their families frowned on it as did the unit commander but they were young and foolish and in love and…
Kate took Rick's sweaty hand in hers, unaware that she'd done so. She wrapped her other arm around his shoulders and he leaned into her gratefully.
"The militia had armor and infantry and we just had pop guns in comparison. No air support and no artillery. The Major had no choice but to withdraw after coming under heavy fire. We gave covering fire, trying for the tank commanders in their cupolas but they buttoned up and the Spaniards ran."
It was a slaughter. The tanks literally rolled through houses and the infantry shot the survivors. Any women were taken prisoner for 'entertainment' purposes while all of the men, old women and boys were shot or bludgeoned to death.
"I couldn't let them take her so I started taking their commanders under fire hoping the girls would run. When they did, the militia shot them down."
A flight of British Tornado bombers took out the armor and the Militia fled but the Spanish commander pursued them and killed anyone captured. He cut off their hands as a warning to the rest.
The unit was pulled back and Rogers and Jefferson were charged with dereliction of duty and insubordination. Apparently they'd been ordered to detach from the unit and return to US control but never got the word. It didn't matter. They were discharged 'at the convenience of the government' and sent home.
"I buried Alexaya in accordance with her religious customs and the rest you know."
Kate suddenly made a connection Alexaya became Alexis. He'd named his daughter after his first love.
"Richard Rogers, you're under arrest for the murders of 5 unknown individuals. You have the right to remain silent. You have the – " Kate stood and faced Shaw, ready to knock some sense into her. Rick was no murderer.
"What? Are you crazy? He couldn't have killed those men. Look at him! You promised me you were just going to talk to him not arrest him!"
He was feverish and probably under the influence of alcohol and painkillers. Any 'confession' would never stand up in court. Besides, she couldn't love a murderer, could she? That thought startled her as much as Jordan Shaw's accusations.
"We'll have him transported to a hospital and then when he's physically able, to prison to await trial."
12th Precinct
3 days later
Kate was drinking coffee at her desk, staring at the mountain of paperwork that she didn't feel like handling. She'd only seen him once since his arrest and it had been a difficult meeting for her. He wouldn't look at her and he only gave monosyllabic answers to any question she asked. The infection he'd picked up had been dealt with and he was feeling much better but not in the mood for her presence and so she'd left him alone.
She didn't blame him for feeling like he did. He hadn't heard any of her impassioned defense of him and her refusal to arrest him. She rode with him in the ambulance and held his hand the whole way, talking to him about how much she cared for him and that when this was 'all behind us' she wanted to let him in.
"Beckett, a word?" Captain Montgomery called her from his office. She had unkind thoughts but put them aside as she stood in front of his desk.
"Go up to Bellvue Hospital and give these papers to Castle. He's being released and all charges dropped. It seems that the FBI stumbled onto a body in New Jersey that matched the M.O. of the other murders and this time there was a traffic camera as well as a camera at an ATM across the street that caught the entire dump on film. They've ID'ed the killer as Dalton Jefferson and are pursuing him. Castle's free to go."
She hadn't smiled as brightly since the night she'd held his hand in the hospital. Kate hurried out of the precinct and then called Alexis.
"What's wrong now, Detective?" Alexis had been distant but never rude since her father's arrest. Her grandmother had finally returned and so Kate hadn't had the dubious pleasure of staying with her at the loft.
"Where are you, Alexis? I need to pick you up right away."
"I'm walking home from school with one of the few friends I have left." The press had been all over the arrest, his past and of course, his family. Now Kate understood the distance.
"Your Dad's being released. They've identified the real killer and I'm on my way to bring him home if the hospital will release him."
"Pick me up in front of the loft, Kate. I gotta call Grams and Paige and – " Kate laughed and disconnected the phone. Things were going to be okay, she just knew it.
Loft
Someone, she suspected Roy Montgomery, had released details of Castle's exoneration to the press and the building was awash in TV crews and photographers.
She drove down into the underground parking garage and parked as close to the elevator as possible. Between Kate and Alexis, they managed to get him into the elevator and finally home.
"Well, Castle, I'll be on my way. Martha, it was nice to have met you. I need to – "
"Kate, don't go, please? I know we've been beastly towards you and I, for one, want to make my apologies. Alexis has raved on about you so much and I feel so terribly awful about how I treated you. Please stay."
Martha, ever the proper lady, was trying to make amends for her diatribe delivered in full voice at the hospital when she tried to visit her son. Because Kate had been there, sitting with him and holding his hand, she'd caught both barrels.
"Okay, if it's okay with you, Rick?" Her eyes were pleading and he knew he'd never be able to deny her anything if she ever discovered the power she held over him. He was toast.
"Sure. Alexis, okay with you?" He knew it was but wanted Kate to hear it. Alexis hadn't been exactly nice to her, either.
"Yeah. We can order pizza or Chinese. Please stay, Kate."
12th Precinct
3 weeks later
Kate sat at her desk twirling her hair around one finger as she talked to Rick on the phone. They'd made a lot of progress since his release. The press had made a big thing out of his military service and the White Militia Murders as they were being called, and she'd spent several evenings at the loft.
"Seriously, Rick, I'd rather not go to dinner in public. I'd prefer staying in, please? I'm just not ready for another round of questions and paparazzi hounding me. I'll tell you what. Why don't I cook you dinner at my place and we can watch a movie and maybe fool around on the couch?"
She laughed at his strangled reply and then it was her turn to laugh.
"No, I'm not serious about the couch." She paused and then said, "Maybe the bed?" She giggled and twirled her hair around, clearly at ease with him and the conversation. She loved how he sputtered and stammered when she caught him off guard with one of her 'Rick specials'. He could deliver them with ease but lay one on him and he was paralyzed.
"Fine, Rick. Bring wine and I'll make something special for us. How's the knee? Is the new brace working out okay?" He'd had arthroscopic surgery and this time hadn't ruined the surgeon's work with an impromptu run down the hallway. He could kiss the crutches goodbye in another week.
She hung up smiling and turned around to find her team and Lanie staring at her.
"Don't you two have some phone records to work and what about those financials? Lanie, don't you have a customer yet?"
"Fool around on the couch?" said Esposito.
"Or maybe the bed?" said Ryan.
"And since when do you cook, Kate?" asked Lanie.
Kate Beckett flipped her hair back over her shoulders and laughed. She was learning to do a lot lately. She'd decided to live instead of just survive.