First off, my apologies for my mistake. FF doesn't seem to like italics and runs the words of the sentences together so I've developed the (apparently bad) habit of bringing up the file, clearing it and then cutting and pasting from Word. Missed the last sentence so I've incorporated it into this hopefully last chapter. I could probably go on but what's the point?
Kudzu. It's like Kudzu.
She Learned the Truth at 17 By Oldest Man
Chapter 8
"I like your new look, Kate. Freshly ravished, your hair all tousled and wearing my shirt. It's a good look for you. I want to see it every morning for the rest of my life."
"That sounds like a plan I could support. There's fresh coffee and I nibbled at a leftover fruit plate since the growling of my stomach woke me. Castle, about last night – "
"Regrets?" One word could bring down his world and it seemed like it took her forever to answer.
"None whatsoever. It was better than I could ever have imagined, Rick. I'm so glad that you've come into my life. I just wanted to tell you that if you ever have any doubts about how much I love you, tell me, don't keep it bottled up."
"Ditto."
"Somehow I don't think I'll ever have any reason to doubt you. Now, throw on a shirt and come drink your morning coffee while I critique my alter ego, Nikki Heat."
Castle turned to get a shirt out of his closet and he heard Kate gasp. He turned around and she'd disappeared into the bathroom and he heard the medicine chest open and close and then she walked into the bedroom on the verge of tears.
"What's with the long face, Kate? What's wrong?"
"Turn around, Rick. I – I guess I got a little carried away the second time and I scratched your back and I want to clean it up."
"Go ahead if it will make you feel better but I gotta tell you, that's the first time any woman has ever made me feel like a sex god. I just wish…"
"Turn around. You just wish what, Rick?" She dabbed the antiseptic liquid on each half-moon and then down it's trail. She remembered exactly when she'd done it. Somehow, the second time had been even better than the first and the first had brought tears to her eyes.
"Kate, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? I did, didn't I? Shit, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry, baby."
"You didn't hurt me, Rick. I'm just so happy and…"
"You mean those are good tears?" He'd never heard of such a thing.
"Oh, God, yes. I'm so damned happy right now. Happier than I've been in years and it's all because of us being together."
"Rick, you just wish what?"
"I just wish I'd met you first, Kate, instead of Meredith or even Gina."
"You'd still be in jail, Castle. I was underage when you and Meredith had Alexis."
"I didn't hear any complaints about 'old man' Castle last night."
"No. It was beautiful the first time and I was deliriously happy but, oh, God, the second time – it just went on and on and I lost all control. I'm sorry I scratched you. I didn't even know I was doing it. Will it always be like that?"
"I don't know. No one's ever responded to me like you do. I surely hope so."
They sat down at the breakfast island and Rick ate a couple of slices of toast and answered the occasional question Kate posed about the loft or Alexis or what it was like growing up with an actress/mother.
His answers were always short and informative but not always complete.
Beckett's 'critique' of Nikki Heat dwelled more on their similarities and differences than on criticism. She found very little she didn't like in his writing. It had short, punchy sentences when necessary and the most descriptive paragraphs setting a scene that it was almost like watching a painter and seeing the finished work in her imagination.
"Why is Rook blind, Castle? You know I'd never allow a blind man to shadow me. Too dangerous and too distracting."
"He's blind but he can 'see' Nikki, see past the surface imperfections and see the 'real' her. He's neither distracted nor confronted by what society dictates his response should be. He 'sees' her in absolute honesty."
"And you wanted me to know that you saw me like Rook sees Nikki, is that it?"
"Yep. Sometimes the simplest words convey the most complicated of themes. Did it work?"
"Yeah, I 'heard' what you were saying. You wrote this for me, didn't you?"
"I wrote it for me, Kate. It was something I had to put down on paper. As for not allowing a blind man to shadow a real cop - let's see. I don't put him in situations where he's likely to get killed. I use Veritas for both comic relief and sometimes as an 'early warning system' for danger to Rook."
"Okay, I'll buy that but why 'Rook'?"
"I thought Nikki needed someone in her life who wasn't a cop, who had interests outside of police work that I could use to draw her out into a different world on occasion to allow the reader to see she wasn't a one-dimensional character."
"I understand the need for the character, but why 'Rook'?"
"Rook is a chess term. It's commonly called a 'Castle' by people who aren't real aficionados of the game. And I guess subconsciously I wanted to be part of your life, Kate. Even that far back I felt the pull you had on me. Creepy, huh?"
"Nope. Are you going to write another novel with the same characters? You left things up in the air between Heat and Rook." She wondered if the written situation had mirrored real life at the time he was writing the book.
"I've got three more on the outline board."
"Three? When did you have time to even think about more?"
"In the hospital, between cases, at night – especially at night. I don't sleep well and I wake up and have to write."
They spent the afternoon goofing around, talking and finally watched a few episodes of Temptation Lane, her guilty pleasure. She laid with her head in his lap and then sat up because she felt too relaxed and was falling asleep.
"My mom and I used to watch it together. After she was killed I went into a dark place and – and I found comfort and relief in reading your books, Castle. They pulled me into another world and for a while I could forget."
Kate had watched Rick out of the corner of her eye and each time the 'femme fatale' character appeared she felt him tense momentarily.
"Hey, Castle, what's with you and the redheaded nasty on Temptation Lane?"
"She's Alexis' mother. That's Meredith Rogers, my first wife." She could see the anger burn in his eyes and she wisely backed off but he wouldn't let go.
"Imagine that woman and Alexis together? After the accident, she didn't even want to hold her. What kind of mother can be that cold to any child in pain, especially her own? I spent hours just holding her and rocking her while her mother 'worked' on her career. I would have divorced her eventually because the longer she was around but not 'around', the more I grew to hate her."
"I'm sorry, Rick. I didn't mean to rip the scab off."
"It'll never heal. The hate will never go away. Every birthday, every major event in her life, Meredith's been 'unavailable'. She wants to take Alexis for the summer but I've told her 'no'. I won't subject Alexis to what I'm afraid may be a humiliating situation."
"Then we'll have to figure out how to keep her home, Rick." She felt the arm he'd draped over her shoulders pull her into him and he turned his head away from her, not wanting her to see his face.
Kate reached up and pulled his face towards her and then kissed the tear that was hanging from one eyelash away.
"Yes, Rick, I said 'we'. I won't let anyone hurt her either. She's more yours than her mother's. You put band aids on scraped knees and elbows, you chased away the monsters under the bed, you were the one who held her when she cried. We'll keep her home with us."
"Speaking of which, as much as I love your clothing choice, she'll be home soon and maybe we shouldn't spring – "
"Shit! That's right. I'll run up and shower and dress. Oh, crap, everything I have is wrinkled and – " She leaped off the couch.
"Hey, Hang your sweater on a padded hangar while you shower. It'll steam out any wrinkles. Go. And put my shirt under the pillow on your side of the bed for later. Oh, Kate, I almost forgot. What size shoe do you wear? We might have something you could wear home so you don't freeze your widdle piggies off. It is December, y'know?"
She stopped on her way up the stairs and turned and gave him a stunning smile, mentioned her size, and then ran up the stairs.
'Her' side of the bed. Her face hurt from smiling. She had a feeling she'd be smiling a lot in the future.
When she was safely out of earshot, he found his cell and called his daughter.
"Alexis, I need you to do me a big favor – buy Kate some boots. She came over last night – yes, she spent the night – any how, she was in a hurry and forgot her shoes. Yes, I know it's December but – look, get some decent boots, y'know, leather, heels, something she can chase and arrest miscreants in while still stylin'."
He listened to her go on about how happy she was and that she'd be happy to spend the night with a friend but he cut her off.
"Alexis, she's not taking anyone's place in my life, especially not yours. I'm adding to the important people in my life, not replacing anyone. I appreciate the offer but no. Come home. We'll order out and then watch a movie or – "
"Alexis Rogers Castle – you're not too damned big for a spanking. I didn't raise you to use that kind of language. Now, boots, oh, and see if you can find matching gloves?"
While Kate showered, Rick made the bed, 'no sense advertising our sleeping together'. He quickly pressed off her jeans. Yes, he knew how to iron. He hadn't always been rich and shameless and Alexis tended to wrinkle everything she owned within seconds of putting it on as well as everything that was in the drawer that contained her selection.
He also made the bold move of emptying out a drawer in his armoire so that Kate would have a place to keep casual clothes and changes when she stayed over. He was making massive assumptions but he felt the need to do so. He went through his closet and threw away old clothes that he'd kept around for sentimental reasons that now seemed stupid and juvenile.
"Rick, is that you banging around in there?" She finally opened the en suite door and stuck her head out. He was holding a large dark plastic bag and looked like a deer in the headlights.
"Throwing away all your porn, sweetie?" She arched one eyebrow and fixed him with her 'Kate the Interrogator' look.
"No, just – just making room for anything you might like to bring over in case – ah, well, Kate, I mean…" Flustered, he turned and walked out of the bedroom. Stupid. Stupid.
It took her a few seconds to wrap herself in a towel, 'God,where does he buy his linens?These towels are incredible!' and walk out into the bedroom. The top drawer of his armoire was open and empty and a quick check of the walk-in closet showed 4 feet of empty hanging space along the one wall.
She saw the ironing board and iron and then noticed that her jeans were freshly pressed and still warm. The man was a bundle of contradictions and surprises. He ironed! And what's more, he put a crease in her jeans that you could cut paper with. 'Domestic Castle' was a new layer of his onion.
Rick threw the large bag into the dumpster and took a deep breath. Stupid. He was so damned stupid. Kate had her own place and here he was suggesting that she plan on spending nights at his place when he knew damned good and well that she valued her privacy and independence above all else. There was no way in hell she'd risk her reputation for over-night pleasures, not with the paparazzi floating around with cameras ready to shoot the slightest hint of impropriety.
He ran through various 'explanations' during the elevator ride to the loft floor.
I was bored and decided to do a little late fall house cleaning.'
'Just making room for all the Christmas presents I'll be getting?'
'I have to hide Alexis' gift someplace!'
The truth: 'I wanted you to have your own space in my place.I know it's stupid, and I seem 'stuck on stupid' when I try to talk about you and me, but it's the truth, Kate.'
Kate was fully clothed and waiting for Rick to return. She'd put on what makeup she'd found in her purse and brushed her hair out as best she could and then realized he'd seen her naked and without makeup and he hadn't hit the door running so she relaxed and puttered around in his kitchen, learning where things went.
The implications of the dresser drawer and closet were clearer than anything he might hem and haw and stammer and stutter before getting to the point.
They were indicators that he wanted more and that any thoughts she might have harbored way down in the deepest part of her mind where she kept her basest fears that this was a one-time thing evaporated.
Kate heard the key in the lock and turned away to pour them both more coffee so he wouldn't think she was waiting to pounce on him the moment he walked through the door.
She'd wait until the poor man at least sat down before she began asking leading questions. She had three months left on her apartment lease and she'd casually mention it in conversation at some later date and see what came of it. If Castle could plot all of this in a novel, she would plot more for them as time went by.
Castle fumbled with the key and finally got the lock open and walked in to the foyer and threw his keys into the basket on the small table just inside.
"I made fresh coffee, Rick. Come sit down and let's talk about meeting my old man on Sunday. You should know up front just what you're walking into. He's been waiting years to have this talk with someone and I just know my dad."
Rick let go a sigh of relief. Either she hadn't noticed the drawers and closet or she had and was blowing it off. Good. He didn't think any of his explanations would stand a close scrutiny.
"Um, what talk, Kate?"
"The one he always wanted to have when I brought a guy home to dinner but gave up hoping to have. You know, what are your intentions? How did you two meet? Have you done the dirty deed yet? Are you going to hurt her?" The last question would be heavily implied but maybe not asked outright.
Rick thought about the questions as the walked into the kitchen and sat down next to her at the island. He reached over and took her hand in his and looked at her and now, for just a second, it was her turn to feel like a deer in the headlights.
"My intentions are to love her, cherish her and give her anything she wants or needs. We met at a crime scene and it was hate at first sight. We've made love twice. I'll never deliberately or consciously hurt her, not ever."
There. His cards were all on the table. He had nothing left and he just waited patiently while she stared into her coffee cup that suddenly seemed to be incredibly interesting.
"You might want to leave out the 'made love twice' comment." She spoke low and softly as if addressing here coffee cup.
"I was only responding honestly to 'his question'. Do you want me to lie? Do you want me to deny my feelings, and beg off the questions?"
"No! I just don't think my dad's ready to hear about my nights of sexual debauchery, Rick. I think what you said was beautiful but my dad looks at me and remembers the hospital and then my mom. Being that blunt might not be the best approach."
"Kate, if he asks me man-to-man, I won't lie to him."
"Well, maybe – "
"I'm home, Dad. Mission accomplished. I added another zero to your AMEX bill. I've fulfilled my purpose for another month, or maybe until Bloomingdale's has another big sale. Hi, Kate! I'm starved, Dad. What's for dinner?"