John needed Sherlock. And Sherlock needed John. That much was clear, especially after those grueling three years, which had been just as painful for Sherlock as it had been for John. He knew he had hurt John, he knew John had missed him more than he let on, but everything seemed to click for Sherlock the morning after his time machine fiasco. Whether John knew that Sherlock had been asleep or not when he kissed him on the forehead, Sherlock had absolutely no idea, which frustrated him greatly. He was usually so keen to John's motives and actions, but that had truly been a surprise for Sherlock. But, what was even more surprising to Sherlock, was his own reaction to the kiss. He remembered feeling John's warm lips, the scrape of his stubble, and feeling content, at ease. Something he rarely experienced. He remembered very vividly, despite his sleep deprived state, that when John's lips left his skin, he craved their touch once more.
Sherlock may be a tad ignorant when it came to human emotions, but he was no fool. He knew what this meant, what John meant to him, or rather, what John had always meant to him, something he had overlooked in the past apparently. But with this new data, this new piece of information, that John might possibly return those feelings, made things slightly easier for Sherlock. Or challenging. It just all depended on how he went about this delicate situation. But Sherlock wasn't simply going to sit back and wait for something to happen. He had to take action, for fear of losing John for good. He couldn't lose John, especially not after all that he had done to keep him.
"John?" Sherlock said as they sat together in their separate chairs, doing their separate things. Sherlock had never been an idle man, but it was times like these where it seemed rather nice to just sit and enjoy another person's company, regardless if they talked or not. Well, not just any person's company. John's company was the one he preferred above all. He had missed this, this gentle quietness that seemed to settle over the two of them comfortably.
"Mm?"
"Would you have stayed in the army if you hadn't been discharged?" John looked up from his laptop slowly, his brows furrowing.
"Why're you asking that? I thought you might have worked that out already." John said quietly.
"John, I don't ask questions that I already know the answers to." John sighed and closed his laptop.
"Sherlock, this isn't something I really want to talk about right now."
"When then?"
"What?"
"When would be a good time to talk about it?" John stared at Sherlock for a moment, apparently incapable of speech.
"Why do you care?"
"Because, it interests me."
"Why?"
"Because John, now answer the question, please." John grumbled and sat back his chair, glaring at Sherlock. He sighed in defeat.
"Yes."
"Why?" John pursed his lips together in frustration.
"I dunno Sherlock, because, it gave me a purpose."
"And if you hadn't met me?" John didn't say anything.
"I don't understand the question."
"If you hadn't met me John, do you think you would have been the same, better off perhaps?" John gaped at Sherlock.
"I, what? What are you on about Sherlock?" Sherlock sighed while rising to stand, and started to pace about the flat.
"If you had never met me, if Mike had never introduced you to me, how do you think you would have carried on living? Do you think you would have been happier? Safer? Does it ever occur to you that I might hold you back? Hinder your progress as a recovering war veteran?"
"Stop," John said, standing up. Sherlock stopped pacing and faced John, who looked very determined. "Just, stop, okay? When I thought you were, dead, I didn't know what to do. Yeah, sure, I moved on, but it wasn't easy. I didn't like it. I missed you every day that you were gone," John's face had hardened as he stared intently at Sherlock, as if his stern voice wasn't enough to get through to Sherlock. Sherlock tried his very best to keep from grinning. "But, when you came back Sherlock, I felt, well, I felt whole again. So don't you bloody think for one second that I would have been happier if I hadn't met you. I would have been lost." John's fists were balled up at his sides, clenching and unclenching again as he stared down Sherlock who gazed back at him in wonder.
And there it was. Just what Sherlock had been looking for. Everything fell into place. And now for the final step that would truly make his theory airtight.
He slowly stepped toward John, making sure to maintain eye contact with the man. John watched him warily, but didn't say anything as Sherlock made his way toward him. Good, that was good. It meant John wasn't going to stop him. He was about a foot away, looking down at John before taking his face between his hands. John looked tired, new wrinkles lining his face. But he certainly looked a lot healthier since Sherlock had made his return, which made Sherlock smile. He closed his eyes, and pressed a gentle kiss on John's forehead, just as John had done to him the night of the time machine. He heard John take a slight intake of the breath, but then gradually leaned in the soft kiss.
They stood like this for a few moments, soaking in each other's warmth. Then Sherlock pulled back and looked John squarely in the eyes. He breathed out a contented sigh and smiled again at John, who smiled weakly back.
"You are fantastic John Watson." John smirked slightly and shrugged.
"Sure okay. Can I ask, what that was for?"
"It's obvious."
"It isn't obvious to me."
"Yes it is. Think John." John rolled his eyes and shook his head good naturedly.
"Sherlock, if you're joking-"
"John, this is hardly a joke to me."
"Well, then, come here you." John stood on his tiptoes as he pressed a kiss onto Sherlock's lips, sending a warm shiver down Sherlock's spine. This was where he wanted to be. This was where he belonged.