A/N: Some of you have expressed your skepticism about Castle's personas. Here's a truism: My family and I were moving from one post to another and I was driving our Buick station wagon far slower than my wife liked. She asked me how I could fly unarmed into a hot LZ and pick up wounded and still drive like an old, really old, lady. It was simple: Flying was my job and I had confidence and excellent skills and I almost always completed my pickups. Driving across the country with my family was different. I was different. I was a husband and father and driving with them in the car was unnerving because if something happened, it happened to them, not just me.
Anyhow, enjoy my tale. Sorry for the length but sitting in waiting rooms makes me write...lol
SheLearnedtheTruthat17 By Oldest Man
Chapter 12
Kate and Rick walked out of Alexis' room into the hall where Martha was glaring at Agent Shaw. Esposito was trying to disappear into the wallpaper and Kate would have laughed at the look of terror on his face except for the circumstances.
"Kate! Richard! Oh, thank God you two are all right." She pulled them into a hug and starting crying with relief.
"Mother, Kate and I have to go down to the station to fill out some papers and give a statement about tonight. Alexis is still sleeping off the drugs and they're going to be keeping her overnight just to be safe. After – I say again – after you get your eyes attended to, I'd like you to stay with her until we get back, okay?"
"Don't worry about my eyes, just go do what has to be done. That darling detective, Javier, filled me in on things. I'm sorry for what you had to do but not sorry that you did it. I know you'll be tearing yourself up about it but you saved Alexis and that outweighs any moral considerations."
'Mother, I – " She cut him off and then took both Kate's hands in hers.
"Kate, don't let him crawl back down into the rabbit hole. Keep him close and watch him. I've said it to you before and I'll say it again, my son is not the pillar of strength he thinks he is."
Rick rolled his eyes just like Beckett often did and walked over to Javier and punched him in the arm lightly.
"I won't, Martha, I promise. We have to go. Esposito will drive Shaw down to the station and Rick and I will take his car. We'll be back as soon as we can. If Alexis wakes up, be sure and tell her we're both all right and we'll see her soon."
12th Precinct
Interview room #3
"Let's go over this one more time, just to be clear on certain details." Shaw had been argumentative and combative and Kate had almost bitten her tongue through when she asked Rick 'What exactly were you thinking when you told Ludmilla Jefferson that you married her sister, Mr. Castle?'
"Agent Shaw, my client has already answered that question when you asked a slightly different version 90 minutes ago. I think you have everything you need to close out your file. Unless you're going to charge my client with some offense that will sufficiently distract the press from you mishandling of all of this, I believe my client has fulfilled all obligations."
Shaw reddened but doggedly pursued her line of questioning. She had to. They'd known about Ludmilla Jefferson and hadn't warned Castle or informed the local cops and that was a major failing for a Violent Crimes Taskforce SAIC – unless you were going to use Castle as bait to flush out Dalton Jefferson's partner.
"Answer the question, Mr. Castle." She glared at Castle's attorney who'd been waiting for them when they arrived.
"I'll answer your question if you'll answer one or two of mine. How could the FBI be so incompetent not to have thoroughly investigated Dalton's background and movements after what happened in New Jersey? And if you did, why weren't the local authorities advised so that they could protect my family? And why was the case closed? That's what you announced in your press conference, right?"
Shaw glared at the lawyer and then muttered through clenched teeth, "We're done here, Castle. Thank you for your – your cooperation." Kate almost laughed. She thought she heard the 'crack' of one of Shaw's molars as it broke under the strain.
Outside of the interview room, Castle thanked the lawyer for his time and then he and Kate followed, but not quickly enough.
"Mr. Castle, a word, please?" Beckett squeezed his hand and waited with him until Roy Montgomery caught up with them.
"I had no idea that the FBI knew about Jefferson having a partner and no idea at all that it was his wife. You're right, she screwed up by not telling us so we could assign a protective detail or you could make personal arrangements. I'm sorry, Richard. I had no idea."
"No problem. I have to get back to the hospital."
"Beckett, you are on vacation until January 5 per a new personnel directive that's come out. The Department is concerned about 'accrued leave' and now requires that you take all time over 60 paid days, so enjoy the next 18 days off." He spun on his heel and walked back into the interview room and slammed the door.
The couple walked away from the Captain and got on the elevator. Kate had a feeling that Agent Shaw's ass was about to be chewed out royally by one Captain Roy Montgomery. She giggled and Castle looked at her with a question in his eyes.
"Roy's going to peel the skin off a certain redheaded FBI agent."
"Right now, Kate, all I want to do is take Alexis home and then peel off all your clothes and just hold you close to me. I'm so tired, Kate. Christmas is just around the corner and I'd like you and your dad to spend some time at the loft or we could go out to Easthampton and have Christmas there. It would be easier on your dad."
"Um, Rick, we don't really celebrate Christmas anymore, not since my mom died. We have dinner together and watch a movie or a football game but we even quit exchanging gifts."
"Then, Kate, if you were serious about a commitment, you're going to have to get used to Castle Celebrations. Any excuse for a party. Any excuse to celebrate the joys in life. Please, Kate? Talk to your dad. If things move along with us, he's going to have to accept some changes in his life."
"If?" She was smiling up at him, daring him to answer.
"When, I meant 'when'." She kissed him lightly and smiled. "Good answer, Rick."
Kate's cell started to ring and she saw it was her dad. She showed the display to Castle who just smiled.
"Hey, Dad, I was going to call – "
"They're fine. I'm with him now and we're heading over to the hospital to be with Alexis."
She talked to her father for a few more seconds and then handed her phone to Rick. "He wants to talk to you. Be nice. He saw everything on TV and he's worried about you."
"Hey, Jim."
He listened for a few minutes and then nodded but realized Beckett's dad couldn't see his gesture.
"Yeah, I know and I appreciate that. We'll see you this weekend then. Plan on coming down Friday night and staying through Sunday if that's okay?"
"Good." He disconnected the call and handed Kate back her cell phone.
"Want to share what's got you smiling like you just won the Lotto?"
"Just 'father' stuff. He's coming down this weekend and we're going to go shopping together. Apparently your dad thinks it's time to get back into the Christmas spirit. He's taking us to dinner Friday night."
Mercy West Hospital
Kate parked the Ferrari in the lot and engaged the anti-theft device and quickly caught up to Castle who was hastily walking towards the entrance.
When they were side by side, he put his arm around her waist and slowed down. He'd been thinking a lot on the drive over and he'd made a decision. He'd talk to Jim Beckett and get his blessing but he wanted to give Kate a ring for Christmas, nothing gaudy, just a simple diamond in a simple setting, something heartfelt though.
"I can hear the wheels turning in that head of yours. What are you plotting now?"
"Would – I mean – will you stay with us at the loft during your vacation? If it wouldn't be too soon or too – "
"Yes. I'd like that. Is that all you were planning? I know you Richard Rogers-Castle."
"Rogers-Castle?" They'd almost reached the entrance and they'd slowed down even more until the couple was just strolling.
"It seems appropriate somehow. Actually, I think I prefer 'Writer Boy'."
"Writer Man, Beckett, or have you forgotten…" He leaned over and whispered something in her ear and she blushed and almost whispered, "Oh, no. I haven't forgotten."
Castle's Loft
Kate and Alexis were plotting and conniving against their favorite writer. Kate had been spending a lot of time with Alexis after she was discharged from the hospital. She tried to talk about what had happened and Kate was worried that Alexis was carrying around what the shrinks referred to as 'unresolved issues'. She used their 'alone time' to ask the occasional question about what she remembered.
They were sitting on the bed in Alexis' room because it was the one room Castle avoided. He respected his daughter's privacy and would never dream of entering without knocking or eavesdropping.
"What do you buy the man who has every toy under the sun, Alexis? I want this Christmas to be special for all of us. It's been a long time since my dad and I celebrated."
"Kate, buying anything really expensive for my dad is a no-no. I think you can't go wrong with an antique book written by Poe or Hawthorne. They're his favorite authors and he'd be really pis – I mean upset if you spent a fortune on something he'd never use."
"I was toying with buying him a pistol that he could keep at a shooting club and practice with. What do you think?"
"Kate, my dad absolutely hates guns. Well, pistols. He never gets into specifics but he told me once that he'd never fire or own a pistol, ever. Some bad juju from the Army."
"Bad juju?" She'd never heard the term but it sounded mysteriously evil and she was intrigued.
"Oh, Kate, my dad is superstitious 'in extremis'. He picked up some weird phobias while researching a Storm novel set in New Orleans and whatever he learned freaked him out so bad that he trashed it. 'Juju' is some kind of evil spirit or bad luck."
"How much has he told you about what he did in the Army, Lexie? He doesn't share a lot of personal stuff with me yet."
"He told me about some stuff but mostly he just tells me funny stuff like a sniper who climbed up in a tree in the jungle and fell asleep and then shot his toe off when a monkey grabbed his foot and shook him awake."
They shared a laugh and then she asked, "How much do you remember about that night, Lex?"
The teen paled but then looked her in the eye and said, firmly, "I do not want to ever talk about that night, not ever. I want to forget everything about that night. It's enough that I dream about it. I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
Kate took her hands in hers and squeezed them. She was surprised when Alexis squeezed them back almost as hard.
"Alexis Castle, talking about it might help with the nightmares. I talked with your dad after he had a few and it seemed to help. Talk to me, Lexie, or we can get someone neutral you can talk with."
"Kate, do you think my dad has a soul? That woman said that he didn't, that he was an evil soulless man and he'd never find happiness because he didn't have a soul."
Kate was shocked and instinctively pulled Alexis into a tight embrace, whispering to her that he father had a 'beautiful soul' and that she would do whatever it took to make him happy. She felt Alexis nod into her shoulder and then the tears started and seemed to go on forever.
'We need to get her some help! That horrible woman. The things she said about Rick were horrible lies. He does have a beautiful soul.'
She'd fallen asleep on Kate's lap and Kate had eased her head onto her pillow and covered Alexis with a comforter and slipped out of the room, not wanting to wake her.
Castle was in the kitchen puttering around. Kate walked up behind him and put her arms around his stomach and hugged him. She needed to talk and this seemed to be the perfect opportunity. Martha was 'out and about' and they had the loft to themselves.
"Rick, y'know those dreams you have, the ones we talk about when you wake up all sweaty and – "
"Kate, they're getting easier to handle. I think you worry about me too much. Talking helped. They're not as horrible. Alexis doesn't die and you don't die and they don't even wake me up anymore."
"Alexis remembers more than she told us. She told me some things – I think she needs to talk with a counselor or a therapist. That woman said some ugly things and she only told me a little bit but it drove her to tears. She's sleeping now. What do you think?"
"After the holidays. Maybe I should go with her. I'm not exactly a 'pillar of strength'. How did you get her to open up some easily when all she tells me is that she doesn't remember?"
"Girls talk, Castle. Okay, after the holidays. But she won't talk if you're there. Trust me, honey, you don't want to hear what she says and she'll never open up because she doesn't want you to be hurt."
She felt him stiffen and try to move away but she just tightened her hug.
"Does she blame me for what happened? Is that why – "
"No, no, no. She doesn't blame you. She thinks you're perfect. That woman said horrible things to her and she needed to unload and I think what she said was just the tip of the iceberg. In her own way she's protecting you, that's all."
"I need to go up and talk with her. She's only 15 and so much has – "
"No, Rick. Let her sleep. We can all talk about this later but I think 'you' should be the one who says you need help. It'll make things easier."
Early the next morning Kate and Alexis disappeared for the day leaving Rick to mull over what they'd talked about. He opened his laptop and pulled up an email account that he hadn't used in a while and reread the emails from his oldest friend.
He emailed her a request for a meeting later that day, at their old meeting place and sent it. He waited for a few minutes and then closed out the web browser and pulled up his latest Nikki Heat work in progress and read over what he'd written.
He took a break a little after 10. Nikki Heat and Rook were dancing around the issues involved in being 'friends with benefits'. Rook wanted more and Nikki just wanted what they had.
He opened his web browser and pulled up his old email account. She'd answered just a few minutes after he'd sent it.
'Rick, I can't. We agreed that parting was best for both of us. We never would have worked. I'm sorry, love, but I just can't. ~ Meg
He thought about it and about her. They'd met when he was visiting a VA clinic for 'research'. He'd sat in on a couple of group therapy sessions and soon found himself enrolled and spending time, as the therapist worded it so delicately, 'getting your head out of your ass'.
Megan Sloan had been his group's lead therapist and they'd often talk after sessions and that led to coffee and then to a stormy relationship that lasted almost a year. There was no amicable 'parting'. She broke it off and tore his heart out.
Saying it was unprofessional of her to be involved with a patient was a cop out. She had used him as the subject for a monograph she published. When she finished her 'experiment, she moved out. Alexis had been devastated. Megan and Lexie had bonded almost immediately and it had been a blessing. And then she'd left him just like the others.
She must have been sitting at her computer because he got a response within 5 minutes.
'Rick, I can't. I can't face her and it wouldn't be professional. I saw you on the news. You and that woman looked so happy together. I'll email you a list of therapists but I can't see either of you. – Meg
'Don't bother. I wanted to explain her behavior and hope you'd at least think about options but I guess your pride is more important that my daughter. Thank God I've found a woman who loves me despite who I am and not what I can do for her damned career. I'm proposing Christmas Eve and I hope she'll say 'yes'. Never mind. I'll find someone for a referral. Sorry to have bothered you. - Rick
'Rick, I'll meet you at the old place at 2pm today. We'll talk more in detail about her then. I'm still not sure it's good for Alexis and I to meet. If I feel she's in need, I'll recommend a colleague – Meg
Rick showered and changed and left for his 2pm meeting. He planned on stopping by Tiffany's or Cartier's and look for a suitable ring for Kate and then meet Megan at the Refinery.
1:45
Tiffany's had been a bust. Nothing caught his eye but he did buy Kate a pair of diamond pendant earrings. He'd noticed (while nibbling, actually) that she wore two studs in her left ear. These would be perfect for a dressier event.
At Cartier's he found what he wanted and left with a few minutes to spare. He hailed a cab and was only 3 minutes late for his meeting with Megan.
Refinery
This had been 'their' place and was only a block from the VA outpatient clinic. He wondered if she still worked there? He walked in and it was like rolling back his life 10 years. She was sitting at the same table they'd always sat at and from the looks of things, she still preferred her coffee 'Irish'.
He walked over and said. "Hey, sorry I'm late. Have you been waiting long?" He knew she hadn't but it never hurt to be polite.
"No. Just a few minutes. You look good, Rick. I saw you and that police detective on television. It looks serious between you two. Is it?" She stared at him in that disconcerting way she had of sneaking behind his eyes and 'seeing' his true thoughts.
"Yeah. It is. I'm proposing on Christmas Eve. Now, can we talk about Alexis?" He wanted this over and done with. He needed her help for a reference for Alexis, not a trip down memory lane.
"Okay, I suppose that's best. I got married four years ago to a therapist at Bellvue we met at that party." She didn't tell him that they were separated and filing for divorce after the New Year.
"Good. Now let me tell you what I know." He summarized events, going back a few years to cover the divorce from Gina and her last operation and ending with that night when she was kidnapped.
"I can't see her, Rick. We were too close and leaving her like I did…it isn't recommended. I have a good friend who's been around the block and has a juvenile practice. I'll give you her name."
His business completed, Castle stood and leaned over and kissed Meg on the cheek and thanked her. They had been more than friends and although he had hated her once for how she'd ended it, he now felt nothing at all for her. Meg told him she'd call ahead and let her friend know he was going to be calling and why.
They walked out of the Refinery together and Rick flagged down a cab and just as he was helping her in, she turned and kissed him and then got in the cab.
Kate liked watching people and while Alexis made up stories about some of the stranger ones they spotted, neither was expecting to see Castle kissing a woman and putting her into a cab.
"Kate, I'm sure Dad has an excellent explanation." He voice trailed off. She knew the woman and knew her father's history with her.
"I'm sure he does, Lexie. When we get home, please give us some time to straighten this out." Mentally, she was packing her bags, going through the rooms and making sure she didn't forget anything.
Loft
Rick got off the elevator feeling better than he had in a long time. He had two gifts in his pocket for the woman he loved and he'd just confronted a woman from his past and hadn't even felt a flicker of interest.
'Kate would never use me like Megan did. She would never walk out after getting what she wanted. She said she was in it for the long haul and I believe her.'
He opened the loft door and dropped his keys on the occasional table and saw Kate and Alexis sitting at the breakfast island. Neither looked too happy to see him.
Kate stared at him and he was reminded of 'Alley Kate' for an instant and when she walked into his study and slammed the door he looked over at Alexis for some clue about what he'd done to make her mad.
"Dad, we were in a cab stopped in traffic and Kate – we both saw you with Meg Sloan – and you kissed her! How could you do that? Have you been seeing her all this time? She walked out on us, Daddy!" Alexis had never looked at him like that before. There was contempt in her eyes.
He didn't want to tell her about a therapist before he could discuss it with Kate but he had no choice.
"I asked her for a referral for a therapist for you. You're not sleeping and you're not eating. Kate and I are worried and we discussed maybe getting someone you could talk with – not a shrink – just someone who could relate and help you. I emailed Meg because she knows you and well, because I trust her judgment for a referral."
"You kissed her!" Alexis was almost in tears. She didn't want to talk about it and certainly not to a total stranger.
"She kissed me. She's married. I'm not interested. And it's none of your business. I suppose she," jerking his thumb in the direction of his study, 'jumped to the same conclusion, right?"
She looked at the floor, the ceiling, anyplace but at her father.
"Come with me, young lady." He took her by the upper arm and walked to the study door, shoved it open and pointed to the loveseat along one wall. He was reverting to type. When attacked, charge the ambush with guns blazing.
"Sit!" She sat down, eyes wide open and she stared at Kate who was angry but surprised. "That was not a request, Ms. Beckett. Sit next to the witness for the prosecution while the defense prepares an exhibit."
"Castle, this doesn't concern Lexie. This is between you and me. Alexis, sweetie, go up – "
"I'm her father. You're her friend. I give the orders here. Now, Exhibit #1." Kate's lips compressed in anger but she sat next to Alexis. He was her father. She was nothing.
He opened his laptop and a web browser and email program and pulled up the emails in sequence. He carried the laptop to Alexis and almost shouted, "Read it out loud, Alexis, so everyone can hear the preparations made for an illicit rendezvous between the accused and his former lover."
Alexis read the email out loud, her voice breaking once and she looked up at her father who was staring out the window. "The witness will please continue reading." He spoke gently, as if prodding a student to continue. He was angry but wanted to get this over and done with.
When Alexis got to the part about Rick's planned proposal, Kate closed her eyes but it didn't stop the tears.
When Alexis finished reading, it was quiet. Rick was still staring out the window of the loft wondering how his perfect life had ended up in the shitter.
When he spoke, he didn't turn around, just kept looking down at the city.
"We met at the Refinery for coffee. I laid out Alexis' behavior and she gave me a referral. She's married and I suppose happy, I don't know, I don't care one way or the other. I helped her into a cab but before I could, she kissed me. I turned my head and stepped back. Then I came home – to this!" His voice carried anger, heartache and bitterness.
He walked out of his study and upstairs. He stripped and put on his workout clothes and went down to the gym. He had a great deal of anger to work off before he could sit down and discuss this cluster fuck with Kate. Almost as an afterthought, he threw the two small jewelers cases on the bed and walked out.
The two people left in the loft were each lost in thought. Alexis had never seen her father so – rigid and controlled. Kate had seen behind the control to the hurt he'd been trying to hide.
"Well, that could have gone better, Lex."
"Yeah. I've never seen him this mad except when he talks to Meredith."
"I'm going to go up and pack, Alexis. This whole thing – "
"Oh, yeah, run away. I thought you had made a commitment? You're no different than the others. Times get tough, you move on. Is that something that happens when women reach a certain age? Meg walked out on us, too. Doesn't anyone love my dad and me enough to hang around? What's wrong with us?"
"Lex, when you're older, you'll understand. I've hurt him badly so many times. This whole relationship thing is new to me and when I saw him kissing that woman – "
"She kissed him. He told me he wasn't interested. We both jumped to conclusions and now we're screwed."
"He'll forgive you. Just give him time, sweetie."
"You could always just do the adult thing, Kate. Go find him and apologize or go pack and leave."
A/N: Sorry for the length and delay.