A/N: A word of explanation since a few of you are dead-set that every piece of fiction must adhere to canon: get over it. I am looking at the critical intersections of the series' events and in each of them, such as the issue of Castle messing around with Kate's mother's case, I go the other way just to see what will happen, what events would not occur, or would go down differently and since I don't own them and make no loot from this, it's my cuppa. It's too cold to play shuffleboard.
OM
She Learned the Truth at 17 by Oldest Man
"I'll still need to swing by the loft for some clothes,
"Castle, my plans for later don't require clothing."
Chapter 18
12th Precinct
Kate Beckett was a hunter by nature. Her prey were murderers but right now, this minute, in the squad room of the 12th Precinct, her prey was Castle.
He saw the change in her and he knew that all his fears and misgivings had been wastes of time. She was relaxed and at ease, the stiffness and tension seemed to melt out of her shoulders while her focus sharpened until he knew that she could only see him, that everything else was a blur.
"I'm ready if you are, Kate. I approved an actor for Nikki Heat – Natalie Rhodes. I was wrong about her, Kate. She's really like Nikki Heat in ways that are pure fiction. You, my darling detective, will be the role model for her."
She smiled at his syrupy comment and started closing the distance between them and was almost within striking distance when…
"Now, unless you want to throw caution and propriety to the winds, can we go somewhere less congested? I need to wrap you up in my arms and kiss you senseless."
Kate smiled a million watt smile and grabbed his hand, ignoring the looks from her boys, and walked rapidly into the interview room. She closed the door and spun around and pinned him to the door and kissed him. Their tongues dueled for a few seconds and then Castle broke off the kiss and just held her tightly to him whispering into her hair, "I can't imagine a day in my life without you in it. Let's go home before we get too carried away."
"I thought you gave that pistol back to Agent Shaw?"
Beckett's Apartment
She tried to drag him into the bedroom but he was adamant that they eat something and then Kate could show him what she wanted 'his insights' for. She stuck out her lower lip in a childish pout but sighed when he kissed it, sucking it between his own lips and torturing her with his tongue.
"Business first. Food second. Then pleasure, my horny little detective. I swear, once we're living together, I will stand over you and make sure you eat at least one and hopefully two decent meals every day." His hand crept up between then and he cupped her breast, smiling when she gasped and her nipple hardened. She let her own hand wander below the belt and when she cupped him, grinned when he grabbed her wrist and gave her a dirty look.
"Business, Kate. We'll order in and then I want to help you out with whatever you're stuck on if I can. Then…" he thumbed her nipple through the fabric of her bra and blouse, "then we'll love each other senseless."
Rick pushed her gently away and smiled. She had that look on her face again – the hunting lioness on the prowl.
"Order Chinese while I change into something more comfortable and pull my files. Got any casual clothes in that bag of yours?"
Kate changed clothes and reached into the back of her closet, pushed some shoes around and pulled out a section of wainscoting and grabbed a large expanding file and wandered into the living room. Rick grabbed his bag and walked into the bedroom and changed into jeans and a pullover and joined her on the couch.
"Why didn't you just change when I did?" She had pulled her hair back into a ponytail and he felt a rush of love for her. She didn't feel the need to hide anything anymore.
"Kate, I ordered the food but, well, if I saw you half-dressed, we'd never have eaten or worked on whatever it is you're hiding in that expanding file. It must be very important to you and so it's important to me, okay?"
He told her the truth and let her deal with it as she would. He had no need to lie to her about how strongly he felt for her.
Kate sat on the couch with her legs curled up underneath her and the expanding file beside her, pushed back into the corner of the cushions. Rick was in her kitchen going through cabinets locating dinnerware, glasses and silverware. She was very organized everywhere but in her silverware drawer. She'd thrown everything into the drawer eschewing one of those little plastic divider tray things.
"Hey, you're organized to a fault everywhere but in the silverware drawer. What gives?"
"I do have faults, Rick. That's where I keep them." Actually, the building had had roaches and she had thrown out the divider and hadn't gotten around to replacing it. The entire building had been fumigated while she'd been on leave and staying with Rick.
The food arrived and Kate insisted on paying and Rick just groused around about 'the man's place' and Kate shushed him with a whispered comment: "A man's place is in the bedroom, chained to the headboard, awaiting his mistress' desires."
Rick got a strange look on his face and then Kate started to giggle. "I wish I had a camera, Castle. I'd put that look on your book jackets and you'd sell billions and billions of books. Is there something you're not telling me, Rick?"
"Um, no…I was just picturing you as some dominatrix in leather and…and I'm going to quit talking now. Let's eat."
Rick suddenly couldn't remember how to use chopsticks. It was weird. He was normally quite adept at wielding the two tapered dowels but not tonight. After dropping yet another piece of spicy chicken, he got a fork from the 'drawer of disorganization' and finally managed to find his mouth instead of his shirt, the carpet, the coffee table top, or his lap.
After cleaning up the various Styrofoam containers and cleaning off the mess on Rick's portion of the coffee table, Kate brought out the mysterious expanding file and placed it reverently in the center of the coffee table.
"Rick, no one has ever seen what I'm going to lay out for you. I trust you and I love you and I need your help. I can't find true peace until I've found my mom's murderer. Everything about the case is in here. When I was a rookie I made copies of my mom's file. It's a terminating offense to remove or copy files from the archives."
"Kate, I'm hardly going to narc on you. If you're trying to tell me you broke the law, it was in a good cause. It's hardly a Privacy issue. Hell, Johanna was your mother. You should have a right to see her case files."
"It doesn't work that way in the real world, Rick. I agree with you but the State of New York thinks otherwise."
She laid out everything. She rarely looked at the autopsy files because of the photos but also because something so simple as an entry for Cause of Death as 'Homicide – knife wound' seemed inadequate to describe the impact of her death on others.
Castle picked up the autopsy file first. He scanned the sterile reports that summarized the termination of the life of the woman whose portrait hung in his living room and whose daughter sat beside him. He could have written a novel about those yellowed 13 pages.
"Kate, I have a guy I've used for research and to review my sections relating to autopsies and such, a forensic pathologist who is the best in the business. Would you…would you mind terribly if I asked him to look these over? There might be something that was missed or that neither of us are schooled enough to see the importance of. If you could make copies for me…"
"He has to be discreet, Rick. I could lose my job and…"
"He's a professional and he's right here in New York. He does work for the Feds sometimes. Richard Young is tops in his field. He makes Temperance Brennan look like a klutz."
"Who?" She didn't know many pathologists or who was who in the Kingdom of Pathology.
"'Bones'? TV show? Y'know…'Bones'."
"Never saw it. I don't watch much TV, Rick. Most times I'm reading your books. Or Patterson's. Or going over these," meaning her mom's case files. The dig about James Patterson went unnoticed.
"Well, we'll remedy that at the earliest opportunity. So, you make copies and…do you have your mother's calendar or Day Timer for the month she was…the month she…"
"Died. Was murdered. It's okay, Rick. I asked for your help. She was killed in an alley in Queens. She was meeting someone about a Pro Bono case she was interested in, some Mafia hood that maintained his innocence of the crime he'd been accused of. He was guilty of a lot of other things but he claimed he'd been framed to cover up a vast conspiracy."
"A conspiracy? To what end?"
"Don't know. The final police report was 'random gangland violence'. There's so much about this that I just don't know. I'll see if Dad has any of her old stuff around. He never threw a single thing of hers away except for her clothes that he donated to charity and even then he has some keepsakes. I'll call him but not for a few days, okay?"
She felt better about this than she'd ever felt before. His instincts and his suggestions and comments gave her hope for the first time in a very long time.
Rick was taking notes on a legal pad and had outlined what they knew, what each was going to do and what needed to be done before they could really start digging.
Kate leaned against him and sighed. "I feel hopeful for the first time in ages, Rick. Thank you for helping me. It means the world to me." She sat back against the couch and rubbed his back as he hunched over the coffee table making some final notes.
"What's on the agenda for tomorrow, Kate? I don't want to intrude."
"I need to stop by a florist and get a bouquet and then go out to the cemetery. Could – would you please come with me? I know you joked about meeting your mother-in-law but…"
"I wasn't joking and you shouldn't need to ask if I will go with you. Of course I'll go. It's what couples do, Kate. Share the good things and the bad. A burden shared is a burden halved. You've carried this around alone too long, my love."
She felt overwhelmed for a second and blinked away tears that threatened to fall. She wasn't alone anymore. She had him.
She woke up first and just laid there, absorbing the warmth of his back she was spooned up against. He'd proven that the previous nights hadn't been flukes. She'd cried out more than once and wondered if the neighbors had heard her. She didn't care.
Woodlawn Cemetery
Kate parked as close as she could to the cemetery out of habit. After past visits she'd always been in tears and almost unable to function and having the car nearby, a kind of sanctuary, had been sensible. This year she parked back along the roadway that meandered through the trees and gravesites. This year she wasn't alone.
Since it was Friday and cold with winds that gusted up into the mid-teens they had the cemetery all to themselves. Castle had his left arm around her shoulders and was holding her right hand in his, against his chest.
"Rick, can I have a few minutes alone and then I want to introduce you to my mom. I know it sounds dumb. She's dead, I know, but somehow I feel closer to her here than anywhere else."
"Sure. I'll be right behind you. Just nod and I'll be by your side. Take all the time you need, Kate." He stopped and let her walk alone up through a row or two of tombstones and saw her stop and kneel down and spread out the blanket he'd had her bring. Kneeling in 3 inches of wet snow was just asking for pneumonia.
I wonder, if that were me in that cold ground, if Alexis would make an annual pilgrimage to drop flowers on the turf and maybe spend a few minutes filling me in on how life was going for her? Would she bring a husband someday? Children? No! She's too young for marriage and kids and I'm too young to create such an annual event. Still, Dalton had been a year younger than me…
Kate stood and turned around and motioned him forward. She had tears in her eyes but she was smiling and he took that as a good sign.
"Mom, this is Rick, the guy I told you about last time. You used to read his novels. Well, we're together and as soon as we work out some issues I'll be Mrs. Richard Castle. He loves me, Mom, and I love him. I just wanted to introduce you. He – he had a painting of you done and it hangs in his loft, our loft, and he gave it to me for Christmas so you'll always be with us. I think I'll drop by more often now. I'll want to fill you in on how life's going for us. I love you, Mom."
She looked up at him with teary eyes but a smile he'd never seen before and for just a moment he caught a glimpse of Kate as she would have been if not for the acid attack and the murder of her mother. He vowed that someday he would put that smile on her face.
"Let's go, Rick. This is the first time I won't be leaving here an emotional wreck. Somehow with you here it was easier and less maudlin. Maybe it was because I had so many wonderful things to share with her instead of just how much I missed her. C'mon, it's freezing and I could use a cup of coffee."
"Kate, how does your dad handle today? I mean, I guess I'm saying he shouldn't be alone. Let's swing by the loft and pick up the Ferrari and drive out to the Island and spend so time with him, I don't know, maybe drag him to dinner?"
"I don't know, Rick…" She looked at the ground and immediately felt a mantle of guilt settle over her, replacing the warmth she'd had. What right did she have to be so damned happy when her dad was probably staring at a bottle of booze and counting all the reasons why he should open it.
"I do. We're going. We'll leave your car in the parking garage but first, we'll swing by your place and you can pack a bag for the weekend. And quit feeling guilty about not being 'an emotional wreck'. I didn't know your mother but I doubt that she'd want you to be feeling guilty about being happy."
Kate's head snapped up and met his eyes. 'Did I say that out loud?' Castle's eyes bored into hers and she swore he could read her mind at times.
"No, I don't read minds, Kate. I read your face and saw the moment you realized that you felt happy instead of feeling distraught and the guilt set in. Now, we're going to see your dad so call him and let him know. Tell him – tell him you need to talk. You do, Kate. I know you. You and your dad – I think Christmas Eve was the first time you two had really talked about your mom, right?"
'I am so screwed. He reads minds. He knows what I think and he's always there with a solution. How does he know about Christmas Eve? He reads minds!'
"Okay, we'll go. I'll call him from the car. It's freezing and I talk better thawed." He put his arm around her and drew her close and they walked through the ranks of tombstones to her car. It had started to snow harder and the wind was making it difficult to see but somehow it didn't matter.
"We'll spend the night at my place on the shore. It's closer to your dad's place than driving back to your apartment. I'll call the caretaker to fire up the heat."
While Rick called the real estate company that managed his properties on the Island, Kate called her dad and invited the couple to his house and then she told him, without letting him get a word in edgewise, that 'Rick and I are taking you to dinner and you'd better just get used to having me, us, back in your life.'
If she could have seen the look of relief on her father's face she would have felt a lot better about her 'no prisoners' approach. He'd actually opened the Bourbon bottle and had a glass with melting ice in front of him. This year had been a particularly trying one and this anniversary had almost broken him. He'd been sober for 5 years and he'd almost pissed it away in self-pity and grief.
Kate had unwittingly saved him again.
A/N: It's going to get dark in the next few chapters. Fasten you seatbelts, children, but have a little faith.