Chapter four

Ste's point of view

After we got chatting for a bit Ewan seemed ok, in fact he was quite a lovely fella. I could definitely see why Brendan liked him. He seemed really friendly and I found him easy to talk to.

"So Ste are you going to put me out of my misery and tell me how you met Brendan?"

I suppose it doesn't really matter if he knows or not, it's been over between us for ages now and it's not like I have to tell him how I feel about him.

"Um…well…we used to be together, but that was ages ago now"

I looked at him to see his reaction but he just smiled at me.

"I thought you were, I could tell. I noticed a strong connection between you when you came in the club earlier."

What was he saying? I started feeling uncomfortable; I didn't really wanna be discussing Brendan with him.

"It's because it's the first time we'd seen each other for a year. Look can we talk about something else."

I came to the pub to try and forget not bring it all up again. I felt bad enough as it was. The man I'd always been in love with was with someone else now and it fucking hurt.

"Yeah that's cool Ste…I'll get us another beer."

And the beers kept coming; before I knew it I was pretty drunk. I remember Brendan always saying that I couldn't handle my drink, he was right though I couldn't.

"Look…I've had enough me"

I really don't think Brendan would appreciate us drinking together, he never did like the different parts of his life meeting; I remember it well with Macca.

"I'll walk you back to yours Ste"

I thought I'd be okay to walk back on my own, but when I stepped outside and the air hit me, I wasn't so sure. Making Ewan walking me back would be the best thing at least I'd get home.

Walking back to the flat seemed to take us ages, I kept laughing and messing about and Ewan was just trying to hold me up and get me home. I couldn't even get my keys in the front door. Ewan took the keys out of my hand and opened the door for me, I was just about to thank him, say goodnight but he had other ideas. He pushed me inside, closed the door behind us and kissed me. After the initial shock I kissed him back, I knew it was wrong but I didn't care plus I was drunk anyway. It had been a while since I'd had any attention from anyone and I wanted it badly. After the day I'd had seeing Brendan again, and nearly declaring my love to him, my head was a mess and I just wanted to forget. Ewan could have been anyone. Kissing him back i wasn't thinking about after, I wasn't even really thinking about Brendan. I just needed to feel wanted again. I broke away and pulled him in to the bedroom.

Brendan's point of view

I wanted to go and see him right now but I was working and I had no one to cover till a bit later on. Plus there was Ewan, what was I even going to do about him? Sure we had fun, he served a purpose, he was even a good fuck but he wasn't Steven. I know we still have unfinished business together I could tell when he came here earlier on. Maybe I should just call him now, tell him to come over but I should sort Ewan out first I don't want Steven getting caught in the middle of that.

I don't even know where he went when I sent him off earlier. I tried to call him but all I got was the answering machine. I waited for Rhys and Joel to take over for their shifts and I went back home to see if Ewan was there but he wasn't. This was unbelievable i thought to myself. After I went to the dog for a pint and that was when I noticed them, Ewan and Steven, luckily they hadn't noticed me. They were sat in the corner of the pub, chatting and occasionally laughing. I didn't like it, not one bit. I didn't care about Ewan but Steven he was a different matter. I stayed back and out the way the whole time, im surprised they couldn't feel my eyes burning in to them.

Steven was getting drunk, i should have just gone over there but I wanted to see where this would go, looking at Ewan I knew what was on his mind. When they left the pub Steven could hardly stand and he kept laughing, god that boy really wants to learn how to drink. It must have taken about half an hour for them to walk back, how I managed to keep my temper in check I'll never know. Chez should have told me he was on his own, she knew how much I wanted him, why did she keep that from me? I could have been with him now, instead im spying on my ex and my lover who will probably end up fucking each other by the way Ewan is drooling all over him. I follow them but I keep my distance at the same time. Once they reach the flat Ewan opens the door, Steven is still laughing, and god he is adorable.

Once the door is closed I walk up to it, I can just about see them there kissing. I could hear it. The rage that starts to build up inside of me scares me, I thought I'd moved on got myself together, but im no different than the person I was a year ago. It took all the strength I had to walk away, but I could use this to my advantage. I had to witness Steven with Douglas that was bad enough; I will not watch him be with anyone else. I headed back to the club, poured myself a very large whisky and contemplated my next move.

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