Greetings from Progresso, Mexico. Camille and I have escaped the cold via air and are enjoying the 78 degree weather and the SUN. There is wifi here at the hotel but we're driving north to find a rental on the beach so don't know if/when you'll hear from us again.
In case you haven't glommed on to what I'm doing – I'm trying anti-angst for a bit. Every time the situation becomes untenable and that canon Beckett or canon Castle would break down in to tears or tear someone a new rectal orifice, I go the other way. BUT you can't have flowers without the occasional rain, can you?
She Learned the Truth at 17 by Oldest Man
Chapter 23
Esposito took over the interrogation with Ryan and Beckett took Rick home just as she'd promised herself. Neither of them was particularly in the mood for hot and heavy sex but more for just holding on to each other and appreciating the value each brought into the other's life.
Unfortunately, life had gone down another pathway and the precinct had been surrounded by TV remote units and cameras and talking bungholes who shouted questions and tried to impede their path to Beckett's patrol unit.
"Kate, did you ever ask Roy about the Ferrari?" It was just a random thought that popped out. He thought of the strangest things at the most inopportune times. I'm trying to shield my cheek from the camera and he's thinking about giving me the Ferrari.
She glanced at him to see if he was serious and then laughed out loud. "Rick, I've been kinda busy, y'know? I'll ask him tomorrow, I promise."
She opened the door for him and when he was seated, reached across him and buckled his seat belt. He'd managed to mutter a 'thanks' into her hair before she slammed the door and waved to the newsies.
"I need to buy a new phone, Kate. The old one was broken in the fight so don't call or text me 'cause I won't be able to answer, babe."
"Okay. But tomorrow. We'll buy you a new one tomorrow. I'm not letting you out of my sight until we do so there'll be no need to 'call or text Kate'. You'll just have to roll over and whisper whatever you need to say into my ear."
She saw the iPhone with the bullet imbedded in its glass screen in her mind's eye and shuddered. Something so innocuous as a cellular telephone had played such a huge part in their lives.
"Kate, you okay? Want me to drive?" She shook the image from her head and leaned over and ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm fine. Better than fine, even."
The scene at the precinct was repeated in front of the apartment building. The doorman ran interference for the couple as they walked briskly inside and to the bank of elevators. She hadn't let go of his hand since they got out of the car so she supposed the shouted 'Are you a couple?' was answered subtly.
Castle couldn't reach his keys that were in his left pants pocket so Kate dug in and pulled them out although not without a bit of wandering.
"Kate, that's not my key – " but stopped when she just giggled and pulled out the keys and opened the loft door.
"Martha, Alexis, we're home…" was all she got out before Martha and Alexis swept them up into hugs.
"It's all over the news, dear, about how you caught the man who threw acid in your face. What an ordeal for you, Kate. Come, have some wine and tell us all about it." She led Kate by the arm over to the couch but Kate stopped her and whispered something in her ear and she whirled around and grabbed her son by the ear.
"Apples! Damn it, Mother, stop that." He shook her arm off and glared at Kate who just sat primly on the couch surrounded by an air of innocence.
"Take off your jacket this instant and let me see what you've done to yourself this time! Honestly, Richard, you're almost 40…turn in your cape and hood and retire the Batmobile and settle down with a nice girl who has prospects…"
She turned to Kate who was sitting less comfortably on the couch now, ruing her whispers to Martha.
"Do you know of any girls who might fit the bill, my dear?" There was that damned twinkle in her eye again and Kate relaxed and decided to play along.
"Well, there's Karpowski, a detective with a good pension, and then there's Magda in Records, and Jarvis, you remember Jarvis, don't you honey, with the big…" She held her cupped hands out about a foot from her chest.
"Well, if you're serious, there's Natalie Rhodes, Detective. After today, we share an intense and emotional bond…" He looked to be serious in his comment.
Kate was sorry that she let it go this far or this long. She tamped down the jealousy-driven urge to run out and leave him to explain the day. She was off the couch and in his face in a split second.
"Listen, Kitten, I meant what I said in the break room." She turned to Martha and simply stated, "We're getting married – the sooner, the better, and I'll need your help in organizing a small affair, Martha, and…"
Alexis let out a girly shriek and Martha was all smiles.
Castle wandered back to his study and quietly closed the door. Now he knew the derivation of the term 'hen party'. Those three were cackling like chickens in a worm bed and he had slipped away unnoticed. He poured himself 3 fingers of Scotch into a glass tumbler and sat down at his desk. It had been one hell of a day and he was suddenly feeling his age.
He opened his browser and reviewed his emails and then sent one to Richard Young asking for a progress report on the autopsy file he'd sent him and answered a few from acquaintances and Gina and then finished his drink and closed his laptop.
'Married? Well, they say the third time's the charm. I wonder if she'll take my name or keep her own? Doesn't matter a bit. It's only a name. I've got the girl.'
He dozed off in his chair, tired from the day, cradled in a Vicodin-Scotch embrace and that's how Kate found him an hour later when it occurred to everyone that he was 'missing in action'. Kate excused herself and went in search of the elusive Rick.
At first she thought he might have gone up to their room and taken a nap but he wasn't there and he wasn't in the bathroom soaking in a tub so that left the only place in the loft he might have wandered off to: his study.
The door was ajar and she almost laughed out loud at what she found.
He was sitting upright, asleep, his mouth curled in a slight smile.
Kate knelt down next to him and shook his knee. "Hey, sleeping beauty, time to wake up and join the family. Have you been asleep the whole time?"
He jerked awake and frowned, his mind still in his dream and he wanted so badly to go back to it. They were so happy and the baby…
"Um, Kate! I must have dozed off. Sorry. Yeah, let's go join the clan and…are you hungry? What time is it." He looked out the full window at the city in dusk. How long had he slept?
"We're debating dinner right now, honey. That's when we realized you weren't on the couch any longer. Are you in pain? Don't try the he-man role on me, Richard Castle. If you're in pain, take a pill. That's what they're for."
"Um, no, just waking up. Food sounds good. I think I threw up lunch but it's kind of foggy. Anything from the precinct? How's the interrogation going? More importantly, how are you, Kate? How are you handling it?"
"I'm fine. Really. Esposito called and said the arraignment's been pushed through and Coonan's been remanded without bail. The other shooting victim passed away so he's been booked with two counts of murder in the first degree and attempted murder - yours. Any more questioning will be done out at Riker's Island. He never asked for an attorney but we have Officer Turner's statement that he was properly Mirandized so we're in the clear there. No technicalities to trip us up."
She took a look at him, a really close look and still liked what she saw. The eye was now less swollen but turning a purplish color and when she took his injured hand in hers, it was warm and that was good considering the potential damage to nerves and circulation.
She looked at him with those enormous eyes of hers and he waited patiently for her to speak because he knew her so well. The look was prelude to the conversation she was rehearsing in her head.
When she finally spoke to him, it was in a small, almost whispering voice and he had to concentrate to hear her words.
"I almost lost you today, Rick. I meant everything I said in the break room. I want to just dive into life with you but I'm afraid. Isn't that a crock of crap after all we've been through together?"
He knew it was a rhetorical question and that she wasn't done yet so he kept his mouth shut and just looked at her face as it colored with the stress of the emotions she was trying so hard to suppress – or maybe express.
"I'm afraid you'll tire of me and my neediness and the demands of the job. I'm afraid that someday I'll come home and you'll be gone, pushed away by the darkness I bring home with me. I'm afraid that someday you'll find someone who is better than me, with a face you won't be ashamed of in public, someone who brings home the light at the end of the day and not the darkness I do. I'm afraid - "
Rick was done listening to her and pulled her, one-armed, up and onto his lap. He wasn't sure just what he felt at that moment but he couldn't allow her fears to fester and drive her away and they would if they didn't deal with them.
She leaned in against chest and he put his good arm around her and brought the other to her damaged cheek and just stroked it lightly with his fingertips. She tried to turn her head but he palmed her cheek and forced her to look up at him.
"Kate, I'm afraid all the time, too. I'm afraid you'll rethink this whole marriage thing and look at my abysmal track record and just shake your head and say 'No, I'm not marrying him'. I'm afraid that I'll get a call from Esposito or Ryan or Captain Montgomery telling me that you won't be home for dinner – ever. I'm afraid that some morning you'll wake up and realize you loved me once but not anymore and you'll leave me."
She started to rebut everything he said but he pressed his fingers against her lips and stopped her.
"You have no idea how beautiful you are. You'll never have to worry about me being ashamed to have you by my side anywhere, ever. If you're that hung up on the scarring, we'll have a plastics guy look at it if you want. As for bringing home the darkness, Kate, you bring light into my life and it's so welcome after the long darkness. I'm going to shut up now because if I can't convince you of how much I love you…"
"Shh, I know. You show me constantly and don't even know it. I'm just feeling vulnerable and I guess I'm tired. As for waking up some morning and not being in love with you – I can't guarantee the future but I can't ever see that happening. You make me too damned happy, Castle, just to be alive. Now, I'm hungry. Let's join the rest of the family and eat."
Later that night, after the others had gone to bed, Kate woke Rick saying, "We have to talk."
They talked until almost 2am when she realized that she had to be at the precinct in 6 hours and that he'd had a rough time of it and was probably forcing himself to stay awake and attentive. He always seemed to manage to make her feel guilty for just being himself.
Kate showered, put on the same clothes from the day before, kissed her still-sleeping fiancée and then walked out of the loft. She drove to her own apartment and changed clothes and went in to the precinct intent on continuing her interrogation of Coonan.
Captain Montgomery was already in his office and beckoned her to join him after she got her coffee.
"Beckett, I'm assigning the Coonan case to Karpowski and her partner." He held up a hand stopping any comment she might make. He had something to say and he didn't want to listen to her objections.
"You are a victim and we can't have you testifying on anything learned after today. Karpowski's the lead but Esposito and Ryan will be assisting her. You'll have full access to the information but you will not participate. Your board has two outstanding cases open and that's where your attention needs to be. Understand?"
"Yes, sir. I understand and I've been expecting it. I'll just concentrate on the open cases and getting married. That's a full plate."
Montgomery blinked in surprise but then his smile lit up the room. "Married? To Castle?"
"Yes, who else? I'll want a month off, sir. A week before the wedding and three weeks for the honeymoon. Oh, and I need to change my insurance and medical and put in a change of address effective today."
"Katherine, I am so happy for you and the Hermit." He frowned. He didn't mean to mention Castle's nickname. It really didn't apply any longer. Beckett had drawn the man out of his shell and he was happy for them both.
"Yes, thank you. The Hermit? Not any more. So, I guess I'd better get busy reviewing the files on Coonan and then write up my report. Castle will be in later to make a statement. Oh, Natalie Rhodes wrote up a statement also."
"You mean the 23 pages of run on sentences, misspelled words, dangling participles, complete with marginal notes about how the scene should be shot? That statement…oh, Beckett, it reads like cheap trash."
"Well, she's an actor, Captain, not a…a…oh, never mind. I'll read it and try to keep a straight…what the hell!"
Natalie Rhodes stepped off the elevator in tight leather pants with matching high-heeled boots, a red leather jacket that cost 10 times what Kate's knock-off did and she'd dyed her hair the exact same shade as Kate's and even had a trim so that she looked exactly like Kate. But no one could mistake her for Kate. She was Nikki Heat, just as Castle had envisioned he when he penned Naked Heat.
"See what I mean, Beckett? I think that", meaning Natalie Rhodes, "speaks for itself. No further explanation needed. Man, I have got to see that movie."