The angst monster has arisen from it's slumbers. Art imitates life.

Chapter 31

Manhattan South Trauma Center

Castle hurried up to the pair of detectives who were sitting dejectedly in butt-busting blue plastic chairs. He had his cell phone in hand and was ready to call Kate's father once he had a status on her condition.

"How is she and what happened?" he said, trying hard not to panic. In the cab on the way down to the Trauma Center all he could think of was losing his Kate, nothing else. He wasn't even aware that he'd mis-buttoned his dress shirt or that he wasn't wearing socks. He'd been so focused on Esposito's panicky voice that he lost any ability to concentrate. His hair was wet and strands were sticking to his forehead.

"They just took her up to the OR. We lost the translator, Officer Tadjik. The wife – Castle, the wife was the slasher. I don't know how she got a knife past the metal detectors but Montgomery's going to have someone's ass for sure."

"Beckett," he almost yelled. "How's Beckett. The living take priority, Esposito. Damn it, how's Kate?" He ran his fingers through his still-wet hair and glared at the Puerto Rican detective. The 'Blame Game' was not important. The bureaucrats would handle it. He needed to know about Kate.

"She lost a lot of blood. Humal got her on the arm, a defensive wound, but she cut her along the collar bone I think. The knife cut through the leather like it was butter and Ryan put pressure on the throat wound…"

Castle's eyes glazed over and he gagged and dropped his head low. His only thoughts were about Kate and losing her. She had to be okay. She just had to be.

What seemed like days but were actually just hours, Castle realized that he had to call Beckett's dad.

Taking a deep breath and knowing that he had a difficult phone call to make, he stood, nodded to the concerned pair of detectives and walked away but stopped to lean against a wall, trying not to break down.

"Yo, Castle. Come back and sit down, man, before you fall down. You don't have to…"

"Beckett's dad. I need to call him. He needs to know and be here in case…in case…she dies. He needs to see her. She's all he has left now."

"Castle, let me call him. You'll just send him into a blind panic. Let me…" he tried prying Castle's phone from his hand but Castle shoved him away.

"No! I got this. It's my responsibility. I should have pushed harder for her to quit. I should have listened to her father. I was selfish. I wanted her in my life on her terms and I was wrong. I told him I was terrified of getting just such a call but I ignored my feelings, for hers, and now…"

He pushed himself off the wall and walked unsteadily down the corridor and out the main door to call Jim Beckett and tell him that he needed to get to Manhattan South Trauma Center as soon as possible. If he were Jim Beckett, he'd want to know now, not when they had something more to tell him. He was a father and he acted like one. He called Jim Beckett.

When he got back to the waiting room, Esposito and Ryan were talking to a doctor. They saw Castle and told the doctor what he was to Kate so the doctor addressed his comments to Castle.

"Detective Beckett suffered significant damage to her right arm. Tendons and muscles were cleanly cut as was an artery and several vessels. We won't know the extent of nerve damage until she's conscious and comfortable enough to test."

"The deep slice just above the collar bone bled the most but was the easiest to repair. She'll have no post-op problems at all except for a scar and I was very careful when I sutured her wound. It will hardly be noticeable. Now, she's in recovery and you can see her once she's been moved to a room. Mr. Castle, you're considered family and can come and go as you please and you're welcome to spend the night in her room. The rest of the crowd will have to follow the rules."

Castle liked the young doctor immediately. He cared. He cut through the crap and answered questions that hadn't even been answered. Except one.

"Doctor, if there is no nerve damage, what's next for her as far as rehab and therapy on her arm?"

"It depends on how quickly she heals. Three weeks in a heavy dressing to protect the wound then evaluation and testing. From there we'll move on to Occupational and Physical Therapy. That's assuming no significant nerve damage."

"And if there is?" Castle wanted to know everything. He needed to know what he'd have to have on-hand to aid her in recovery.

"I'm a plastic surgeon, Mr. Castle. I was working trauma as a favor to my girlfriend. I covered for her while she's at her sister's. She's having her first baby. I'll recommend a neurologist. Go see her, Mr. Castle. She'll be in 308."

Jim Beckett arrived just as Esposito was leaving. Javier gave him the bare bones and pointed to the glass door behind which Castle was 'grilling the doc' for details.

When Rick walked out of the consultation office, he smiled at Jim and took the older man by the arm and suggested they grab a coffee and he'd fill him in.

The two men, both fathers, both struggling with the career choices of a woman they each loved, sat and quietly waged war on one another.

"Rick, if you're going to be the man in the relationship, you have to put your foot down and forbid, yes, I said forbid, her to return to police work. You're rich. Keep her busy with…"

"If I put my foot down, I'll be minus that foot, Jim. I told you at your place what I thought and I haven't changed my mind. It's her life, her career, her choice." He hated her career, her profession. No, he didn't hate it, he feared what it might do to them.

"Then you're a God damned fool, Richard Castle, and deserve all the pain you're going to get if you marry Kate. Every late night phone call, every late night knock at the door, every time you hear a siren, catch a news flash about a shoot out, you'll die a little inside and eventually it'll kill what you feel and change you. Is that what you want?"

"Is that what happened between you and Kate? I know you don't see as much of her as you'd like and it's her choice."

"That's a story for another time, Rick. Just remember this conversation and don't come crying to me when it happens. I remember quite well what you said that night in the kitchen: that she'll leave you for someone newer, younger, and better looking. That won't be how it happens. You'll either leave or separate yourself from her some how and then no matter what, she'll be gone."

"I hope you're wrong. I know she can be a little obsessive and…"

"A little? Katie's obsessed with her mother's murder and revenge, not justice. She'll use anything, do anything, use anyone, to get her revenge. That's why she won't quit the force, Rick, no matter what cost she or others might have to pay. The job provides her with a legal mantle for revenge."

Castle changed the subject and brought up the 'time line' for their wedding and said that it would have to be revised. He didn't want her physically uncomfortable for the wedding since, he boldly stated, it would be her only one.

The look on Jim Beckett's face was worth money. He smiled and it made him look younger. Castle wasn't exactly sure why but he never looked a gift horse in the mouth.

"And what about your own injury, Rick? How's it healing up?" He, of course, knew all about the primary and secondary injury. His daughter had called him, full of pride and guilt, but mostly pride.

"Fine. Stitches itch like mad sometimes but overall, good."

"Y'know Katie will not want you hovering over her, waiting on her hand and foot, don't you? She's very…independent, even when sick. And she's a mean 'sick', Rick, so be prepared for 'PMS Katie' for the duration. She doesn't like being told what to do and the thought of her following someone else's instruction 'to the letter' will not sit well with her. Just so you know."

A nurse found them back in the waiting room and told them that 'Detective Beckett is in her room. Don't expect any really deep conversation. The anesthesia hit her hard and she's taking her own sweet time with shaking it off. Nothing to worry about. Just don't expect her to be able to hold a conversation in her usual way.'

"Montgomery will want her to give a statement while details are fresh in her mind. I'll call him when she's able to concentrate. Oh, crap! I forgot to call Alexis about Kate. All I told her was that she'd been taken to the hospital. I'll catch up with you in a few minutes, Jim."

The call to Alexis could have gone better. When she answered his phone with 'Is she okay? Why didn't you call sooner? Can I come visit her?' he felt guilt and parental pride.

"I'm sorry but I haven't been exactly able to use my cell in the hospital. Look, she's going to be okay, really, Alexis. She has a nasty cut on her arm that will require a lot of rehab but they've taken her to her own room and her dad's with her. I called him once I knew she was going to be okay. As for visiting her, let's see how she feels. She's probably going to sleep most of the day so we'll discuss visitation tomorrow. Look, are you going to be okay until later?"

"That's good, I mean that's she's going to be okay. I'll see if I can sleep over at Paige's. Grams 'out' for God knows how long on one of her own sleepovers. Tell Kate I said 'hi' and call me if anything changes or – or if you just need to talk, okay?"

"Sure. Gotta fly. I'll call you the minute she can have visitors."

He called Montgomery and advised him of her status even though he knew that Esposito had already done so. The Captain confirmed what he already expected. He would be by with some Internal Affairs cops to take her statement.

He hung up his cell and sighed. He was so tired from the stress and tension but he wanted to be there when she woke up. He needed to be there.

He was almost into the elevator when Rhodes called to inform him that she was returning to California. "Rick, that shit today scared the hell out of me. Look, tell Kate I said to get better and…maybe the two of you could fly out to L.A. and spend some time on the set? I think Kate would love it."

"We'll see. She's going to be off work for a while in rehab and physical therapy but it sounds like something she'd enjoy. I'll call you."

He turned off his cell. No more interruptions. He punched the correct floor into the keypad and leaned back against the elevator wall. His own 'scratch' itched and he wondered if that was a good sign or not. It was the least of his worries right now.

He stopped in her room's doorway and watched as Jim Beckett tearfully told his barely conscious daughter that she'd better realize that she wasn't immortal and that she was going to 'lose Rick' if she didn't quit the force. He couldn't hear her response to her father but when Jim stood up, he had an angry look on his face and walked out of the room. He shot Castle a look and nodded to the hallway.

"Rick, she's as stubborn as a mule. Talk to her. Get her to quit. She'll listen to you. I can't sit there and watch her in pain knowing that it's not the first time nor the last."

"Jim…I support what Kate wants to do. I have to. It's what couples do – support one another."

"Then you're as stubborn as she is. I supported her mother and look how well that worked out."

Jim Beckett strode down the hallway and wouldn't return to the hospital, not even at Castle's urging through the days that followed.