A/N: As per request of all my lovely reviewers! Thank you so much! Sorry for such a long wait for an update but better late than never! :D Enjoy!

Basted

'I wonder how long Sheik will stay mad at me… It can't be too long, can it?' Link listened to the rhythmic thumping from bellow. 'Scratch that. This could take a little more than some sweet talking…'

Link quickly made his way down the stairs; cautiously he stepped around the corner into the kitchen. Sheik sat still against the wall; eyes closed to the horror in front of him, muttering to himself.

"Sheik?" Link ventured. He had never seen his immaculately composed boyfriend talk to himself. He was the definition of sane; he made even the ever composed and snooty Ruto look like a raging harpy.

"Oh goddesses! I broke you didn't I?" Link dropped all the cleaning supplies and knelt next to the blonde youth. Sheik seemed to be in his own world; he continued to mutter nonsense and repeatedly made the sign of the Triforce across his chest. "Please talk to me Sheik. You're starting to freak me out."

Taking a deep breath, eyelids slid open slowly to reveal blank amber eyes. Sheik stared ahead; not even bothering to pay his worried boyfriend any attention. The silence stretched as Link waited for Sheik to say anything.

Opening his mouth to ask him if he was okay for the third time, Link was abruptly cut off.

"It's going to be okay." Sheik whispered. Link's face broke out into a bright smile at those soft words.

"Yeah everything's going to be okay! I told y-"

"No," Sheik cut him off. Red orbs slid slowly to the right, finally giving Link some of their attention. "They told me it's going to be okay."

Link cocked an eyebrow. He was confused and a little freaked out, 'They.'? Who was Sheik talking about? "Who is "They" Sheik?" Casting his eyes around the petite kitchen, Link made sure they were the only ones there.

"They did," Sheik supplied uselessly, "They told me it's going to be okay if I kill you." Silence fell between the two once more. Mouth agape, Link wasn't sure how to answer. Surely Sheik was joking… Right?

"N-Now hold on Sheik. Murder is not okay. And who is 'They'?" Link would never admit it but this would live up to be the scariest moment of his life, even beating out the time he got an eye full of Ganon and his junk. Farore was going to be most disappointed in him when he goes to confess next.

"The Goddesses; Din, Nayru and Farore all agreed. They answered my pray of what I should do. I asked if I should kill you and they said yes." Sheik regarded Link calmly; eyes unblinking until he seemed to find what he was looking for. In one quick motion Link was on his back with a furious Sheikah straddled above him, ready to give an old fashion beat down.

Link coughed as the air was knocked out of him and held back his ragged sigh of relief as he studied Sheik. Livid was an emotion he could handle from his deadly boyfriend. Emotionless detachment was a whole new level of rage Link never wanted to experience again. Bracing his feet against the ground, Link bucked up and twisted to his left before Sheik could let lose his pulled back fist. Throwing his arm around Sheik, Link swapped their positions and caught the elbow aimed for his gut.

"So it's gunna be like that, is it?" Link huffed from above; despite Sheik being shorter, skinnier and all around less threatening looking he packed a punch. It didn't help that his family was well known for having a legacy as the country's top mixed martial arts champion. They were bred to fight.

Twisting his hips, in what Link could only describe as impossible and drop dead amazing in bed, Shiek managed to lay Link flat on his face with his left arm pinned to his back. Flour, baking soda and sugar seemed to assault Link as he took in a strained breath.

Leaning down, hot air ghosted over his captives pointed ears as a feral smirk danced around his lips. "Yeah. It's gunna be like that." What Sheik didn't expect was that Link could get out of his hold. He never could before. Maybe it was all the training he did with Ashei, but he definitely didn't see the elbow coming at him until he was hit in the side and stumbling off Link as his former captive began to stand.

"Fine have it your way." Link brushed some flour off his face as Sheik took the moment to strike back. Link had learned when they were kids that the best way for Sheik to calm down was to hit something. He used to take up sticks and attack trees or when things were really bad Link would draw his anger upon himself and beat his friend back in return.

He still remembers the time after their first fight, he was only seven, when he had turned up at his doorstep with a bloody mouth, bruises and scratches all over his body and a finger bent in an awkward position. His mother had blown her top. The normally warm and soft spoken woman patched him up and then proceeded to drag him to Sheik's house to hear the other half of the story.

It was more than a surprise when they had run into Sheik and Impa on the way to see them. The white haired mother couldn't apologize enough for what Sheik had done. But instead of the boys refusing to talk to each other, Sheik had promptly apologized too and started to compare band-aids and battle wounds. Link couldn't stop the face splitting grin that broke the skin on his lip again as he got Sheik to show him how to properly hold someone in a choke hold.

It never mattered how bad the fight was between them, a few bruises and broken bones later they'd be back to normal. Laughing or as Link enjoyed doing as of late, making out always eased any stray tension left behind.

So when Sheik's knee collided none too gently with his stomach, he made sure to grab the offending leg and drag the slowly calming man down to the messy floor with him. As he gasped for air he dragged his hand through damp long lock and pulled Sheik's scowling face right to his before claiming his mouth in a tangle of lips, teeth and tongues.

Already out of breath Link ended the kiss far too soon for his liking. Making sure to wrap a tight arm around Sheik's petite waist, Link took a moment to assess his boyfriend. A brushing of pink settled on Sheik's tan face as he looked anywhere but at the man beneath him, the scowl of annoyance was nothing new. Sheik was always annoyed. Always. Link thought he had some kind of condition, Vexed- sifilis as he liked to call it.

"I am sorry you know…" Link trailed off as Sheik's eyes snapped back to him. "I just wanted to do something special for you. Ya' know our anniversary is tomorrow."

Sheik rolled his eyes and pinned Link with a flat glare. "If you wanted to do something special you could have given me the gift of staying-the-hell-out-of-the-kitchen. And our anniversary isn't tomorrow. It's in two months… How the hell did you think it was tomorrow?"

Link pushed himself up, but kept his tight hold on Sheik, setting the man to straddle his lap and blush even more. He could feel his half hearted attempts at pushing him away. "No, no. Not our anniversary since we started dating. It's been two years since I first kissed you! Do you remember how hard you punched me? Haha! I was pretty sure my jaw would never sit the same again."

Sapphire locked with sienna as Link waited for Sheik's sputtering reaction. He hated it when Link did things like this. Like the last time when Link decided to celebrate their first time. He had been bedridden for a week afterwards.

"You're an idiot." Shiek sighed. Disappointed, Link had been hoping for a different much cuter reaction, his only answer was the pout.

"The first time we kissed wasn't two years ago. It was more like 10 years ago. Don't tell me you don't remember." From the confused look on Link's face, he had his answer.

"Remember when Ganondork tried to take your bike?" Shiek prompted. Link took a moment but from the way his face lit up, he definitely remembered now. They had been about eight or so and were heading off on some great adventure out in The Lost Woods. Ganondorf and a few of his minions had come out of nowhere and cut them off. He started talking smack and had shoved Link off his bike, ready to take his loot away. Sheik had quickly hopped off his own bike and onto the back of Ganondorf; fists flying.

The fight maybe lasted all of five minutes before the older boys got their asses handed to them by a pair of eight year olds. They had laid there on the edge of the forest catching their breath, when Sheik had rolled over to look over Link and his injuries. Producing a handful of band-aids his mother had stuck in his pockets, Sheik went about patching them both up.

Afterwards as Link gently climbed onto his bike, too sore to do anything too fast, Sheik had taken his head in both his heads and placed a soft chaste kiss right on his mouth. At Link's flabbergasted look the little Sheikah had said he had too many owies to kiss them all better, so one kiss would have to do. A sunny smile broke out on Link's face as he said thanks and lead the way so they could continue their adventure.

"Huh. I kinda forgot about that." Link rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Really? I never would have guessed." Sheik retorted.

"Still doesn't mean we can't celebrate!" Without waiting for his replay Link leaned in and brushed his lips against Sheik's. Taking his bottom lip in between his own and licking tentatively for permission to enter. Sheik complied without a fuss, allowing Link to dance around his mouth as his tried to suppress the shudder that ran down his spine. Long fingers toyed with the edge of his shirt as he felt Link dip his fingers under and brush against his flat abdomen.

The moan that followed after didn't escape Link's notice. Pulling away from the kiss, he nuzzled into the long warm expanse of Sheik's collarbone. It was now or never.

"Still wanna kill me?" An annoyed grunt met his words and Link took that to mean, 'Yes. But not right now.'

"You still have to clean this up. It better be spotless before tomorrow. I want to stay in one piece and if Impa sees this, I might as well dig my grave and lay down in it now." No threats were thrown, no punches hurled. Link leaned back and smiled at Sheik. They had really come a long way if he wasn't throwing threats every other sentence.

"Of course! I told you I would fix this and I will! You really should believe in me a little more." Link flashed him a bright sunny smile that had Sheik pinching his cheeks and squishing his face, all the while telling him to stop giving him that crap smile.

Two hours of intense scrubbing, lots of cursing and wonderment of how-in-hell-did-you-burn-this-when-the-oven-wasn't-even-on, was all it took before the kitchen was back to normal. Something the young Sheikah repeatedly thanked the Goddesses for.

Link threw his arm over Sheik's shoulder and gave him a light kiss on the forehead before suggesting oh-so-innocently, "Wanna have sex on the counter? I have a bunch of frosting in my bag. It'll be kinky~"

Sheik didn't hesitate to elbow him in the stomach and throw him out of the house.

Sunday afternoon rolled around bringing Impa home with it. Sheik breathed a sigh of relief as he glanced around the kitchen once more. He was in the clear and his mother suspected nothing, as they stood at the counter flipping through their book of restaurant take out places Sheik felt a bolt of horror race down his spine.

As if in slow motion a brownish blob of something fell in front of his face and landed with a muted ploop in between his mother and him. Impa furrowed her brows and gazed up as Sheik slowly followed her stare. Right above them a small brown splotch clung to the ceiling, whatever it was made of jiggled and threatened to drip all over them.

"Sheik," her voice was cold and questioning, "what is that on my ceiling?"

Audibly gulping he managed to reply. "It's a sign that I need to run." And he did, in record time he slipped on a pair of shoes, forwent a jacket and escaped out into the below ten degree weather to Link's house around the block; where he greeted his boyfriend with a punch to the face.

A/N: I dunno. I like pervy!Link and tsundere!Sheik. Don't hate.