I lost all motivation for this. I don't know. I can't just end it but I can't bring myself to carry on. The person who reviewed yesterday kind of made me feel guilty and honoured though, so I felt I needed to write something. If not for the sake of finishing, but for the people who are actually reading. I hate when people discontinue a story (as small as it may be) and I just don't want to be one of those people.

Thank you 'Jagan for life' and everyone else who has reviewed, alerted and favourited this!

I'm really sorry again! I'll find something to write.

Chapter 6

Logan gasps awake, forgetting for a minute where he is.

When his phone gives off another sound, warning him that his battery is drawing close to death, everything starts coming back.

His mums unopened message is still on view and the sight of it brings back the feeling of dread.

"Shit."

He lifts his head from the chester draws, bringing the hand that was on task of picking his phone up to his head.

He takes a second to readjust to the real world and recover from his state of drowsiness.

He forces himself to look at the time, his jaw nearly dropping in the process.

"I've been like this for sixteen hours? Fuck! Shit!"

He snatches the phone from where it's fallen, immediately opening the message to read his probable doom.

From mum (12/8/11 at 5:01 pm):

Logan, this is your mother. No one has heard from you in over three days now! Call me when you get this message. I'm so worried, sweetie.

And just like that, everything gets worse.

The thought of his mother, in tears as she writes out that message, kills him.

Sylvia has always been there and possibly over mothered him on many occasions. His dads death had taken a much greater toll on her. The realisation that death can occur any day in the life of a loved one seemed to bring everything a little too close to home for her.

And now she's probably alone, the fear of all she has left being dead more than likely eating her up inside.

Unable to bear the guy wrenching guilt eating at the pit of his stomach, he taps on reply, briefly thinking.

To Mum:

I'm fine. Please don't worry. I'm just taking a break from everything. Don't tell the others and please don't worry.

Somewhat satisfied, Logan presses send. If anything, he owes the women who's got him where he is today a stretch of the truth.

He presses himself to his feet, flattening down his creased clothes before turning on his heels to unlock the door, and face yet another dreadful day.

As he walks down the hall, muffles shouts and screams grow nearer. Logan picks up pace when he hears Carlos scream James' name.

"James, Carlos! Stop fighting!"

Logan's attention is first on Kendall, catching the distressed blonde jump over the counter to carelessly tear the two boys apart.

"What's going on here?" Logan bursts, regaining himself ever so slightly when all eyes turn their attention to him.

"Lonnie!" Carlos squeals, pulling himself out of James' headlock to run over and bring the surprised girl into a tight hug. "We didn't wake you did we? We were j-"

"No, Carlos." Logan wheezes, trying to wriggle out of Carlos' air restricting embrace.

To Logan's surprised, Carlos seems to notice, immediately dropping him.

He tries again, taking the fact everyone's looking at him as an advantage. "Why are you guys fighting?"

Unfortunately, he's reliant on Carlos to speak up. "It's just play fighting! We always fight! Isn't that right, James?"

Everyone turns to James, looking to catch him on the spot, although he doesn't seem phased by it as strides towards them, pushing past the both of them.

The three members left behind remain silent until a somewhat expected slam of his bedroom door echoes down the hall.

"Fuck him." Kendall speaks after a few minutes of awkward silence.

Both Logan and Carlos watch as their friend walks around the counter to grab his jacket from the sofa before making a similar exit out of the front door.

"I don't know why everyone's so up in the air! Logan's coming back! He probably just forgot his phone or can't get to it! I know Logan. He doesn't just leave!"

Logan smiles at his friend, returning his attention back to tea making when Carlos carries on.

It's not like Logan thinks he's wrong because of course, he is the guy Carlos is so worried about and there's no doubt about him coming back. A couple of days, no more.

It's just kind of heart breaking to see how naive his friend truly is.

He'd known it'd been near enough butterflies and fairytale's throughout Carlos' entire childhood. Heck, everything went well for Carlos.

He'd never had to experience his parents split, a loved one die or anything even remotely heart wrenching.

Carlos is still innocent and right now, that innocence is being breached, with the thought of Carlos' smart friend, his little buddy that had always forced a good grade and happy looks upon teachers, was gone.

Or at least he thought.

Instead, that friend stood at the kitchen counter, weary from over thinking and in pain from where he'd not slept properly or even in a bed for that matter.

"Kendall's probably gone to find him again, though."

Logan smiles in acknowledgement, busying himself with the tea to avoid looking at Carlos.

He knows that eye lock could scream every unsaid feeling. After all, Carlos is naive, not stupid.

"You know, I should probably go help."

Before Logan can even begin to say how bad of an idea that is, Carlos is gone from the apartment, his fading foot steps the only thing left of him for a short minute.

"...I made that dumbass some tea." He mutters to himself.

Cocking an eyebrow as an idea arises, Logan picks up both hot cups, setting course for his and James' shared room.

When reaching it, he stands at the door, frowning at the cups and then the door handle.

"James." His tone is soft, and possibly a little more scared than it should be.

Now he's at the door, he realises how stupid of an idea this is.

But through some miracle of its own, James replies with, "What, Lonnie?"

"I brought you tea." Logan states, believe they're actually talking.

"Is anyone with you?"

"No."

It goes silent and for a moment, he believes James has gone back to ignoring him, but the lock soon clicks, the door opening and being left ajar.

Logan pushes through, looking over at his friend who is placed on his own bed, legs crossed and arms folded awkwardly over his chest.

"Where do you want it?" The question is meant to break the silence more than anything else. Although it doesn't, instead adding to the intensity of the awkward mood as James pats the space beside him.

Logan doesn't turn down such an opportunity though, instead opting for placing the beverages on the bedside table before joining James like asked.

James opens his mouth to speak, quickly closing and huffing in annoyance when he can't think of anyway to start.

"I'm sorry." Logan says first, his throat swelling up as the words are said. He's never really had to say sorry because most of the time, he's been right.

"I'm sorry, too."

The feeling disappears when James speaks those words.

"Why are you sorry? You've done nothing wrong!" He forces himself to make awkward eye contact with the teary brunette.

"Because I'm pushing you away, too. I do care that he's gone, I just- I don't know."

Logan pushes the mentioning of his disappearance aside for the millionth time. "Too? Who else do you think you've pushed away?"

"Everyone. Well, not everyone. Carlos still acts the same. He's still fun to hang around with."

Logan's caught off guard, honestly offended. "How is Logan acting differently?"

James flinches, seeming to dislike either the tone or what is actually said."He won't talk to me anymore. Like, he will but it'll be so awkward. He won't make eye contact with me for more than he has to and he- he just gives me the cold shoulder, I guess."

Logan's heart automatically sinks, his eyes dropping to his lap when past events start to play over in his head and they all seem to prove James' point.

He avoids having to reply to that, knowing his sympathy will just look as pathetic as he feels.

"What about Kendall?"

"Oh, who knows about him. He just gives me these disappointed looks every time I try to sort out whatever Logan finds wrong with me. I'm not really bothered about him though, ever since that drunken fling, we've never been the same."

Logan's eyes are suddenly on James again.

"You and Kendall had sex?"

Logan knows his voice is raised a little too high but he's never seen the signs. It's never even crossed his mind.

"Yeah but don't tell Logan or Carlos. It was a HUGE mistake and we kinda swore we wouldn't tell anyone. Well, Camille caught us but yeah, she won't tell."

Logan can't believe how oblivious he's been or how stupid he must've looked when the supposed smart boy didn't work it out. Three of his friends (his closest ones at that), sneaking around with a secret so big.

"Why didn't you tell your fucking friends?"

James doesn't seem to flinch when this petite brunette starts to raise her voice. He simply answers with, in a voice no louder than a whisper, "Because they wouldn't understand..."

Logan fills up with guilt again when he sees James drop his head and a tear fall to his jeans.

"I'd be getting disappointed looks from every corner of the room and I mean, Kendall's enough. I know I seem like the type who doesn't have a clue what's going on around him and honestly, half of the time, I think it's better that way. I can never disappoint because no one expects any kind of outcome from me. I get to just sit in the corner and be pretty and occasionally destructive with Carlos whilst Logan and Kendall fix everything and save the day."

Logan doesn't have the heart to ask any further questions, instead he moves forward to bring his large friend closer into a tight embrace.

They stay like this for a couple of minutes, neither one talking nor moving, apart from Logan's gentle fingers entwining themselves the James' soft brown hair and brushing every now and again.

Logan can feel his t-shirt getting damp with tears but he didn't mind, as long as it's helping his friend.

"Tell me what I can do. Maybe I can help." He knows that's probably impossible but he's Logan. Naturally, he has to try and save the day and that just happens to be never having to watch his friend cry again.

James raises his head, watching the innocence in the little girls eyes.

Before anymore can be said, James is leaning forward to press his lips firmly to the girls, moving in closer when she doesn't react.

And true say, Logan doesn't know how to react because now he's somehow got his best friend to kiss him, without knowing it's actually him.

He isn't sure how to kiss back for one. He's never kissed a guy, let alone his best friend.

Although, he does find a way to react when James hooks Logan's leg over his own waste so that he's sitting on him and he reacts very quickly.

"James, no." Logan places a hand to his friends chest, making sure to keep him at an acceptable distance.

He's not quite sure if he'd have the power to keep to that "no" if James were to keep on going for it.

"We don't have to do anything." James voice is frantic but soft, his eyes appearing scared. "Just, please stay here with me, I really could use a cuddle buddy right now."

Without hesitating, Logan dives in, placing his head on James' chest to listen to his rhythmic heartbeat.

When James draws him in closer and rests his chin on top of his head, he doesn't fight, he only bathes in the warmth that he provides.

He forgets how wrong this is because he couldn't remember what a James hug felt like and now that he's able to experience it again, he never wants it to end.

I didn't really have the time to spell check this. I just wrote it down and got it up as soon as possibly could.

Thank you again, guys! I hope someone's still interested in this. :|