Skipping ahead a few months. Remember my promise.

Chapter35

Castle Loft
NYC

Jim Beckett had dropped by unannounced and was pleased to see Rick in good spirits. From their almost weekly telephone conversations, he knew that Alexis had gone back to California in keeping with the custody agreement, that he had finished his final Nikki Heat novel and was at loose ends.

"How are you holding up, Rick? I didn't get to talk to you at the funeral. I'm so sorry for your loss. Martha was a wonderful woman and I know both you and Alexis miss her terribly."

"Yeah, but each day gets a little better. The last weeks before…before her heart attack…shit, Jim. We argued more in those last weeks than we did in our entire lives. She was so bitter about the custody battle and couldn't understand why I didn't fight it. I couldn't. It was bad enough that the local papers in L.A. picked it up. If I'd fought it, it would have been horrible for Alexis."

"And bitter about my daughter's abrupt absence from your lives. Oh, don't look surprised, Rick. Your mother and I talked a lot after Kate…after you two broke up. I tried to set Martha straight and she understood the situation but not your reaction. No matter what she may have said, she knew that Kate broke it off and that you were the 'injured party'. She did, Rick."

"Y'know, she said…she said the most horrible thing to me in a fit of temper but…but I'll always remember it. She said, 'You've managed to rid yourself of all the women who love you, Richard. Aren't you proud of yourself?' Like I had a choice? Like I've ever, ever had a choice. I've never…"

Rick drained the cut glass tumbler and refilled it with Scotch. He didn't care that Jim Beckett was in recovery. He wanted the numbness, the oblivion, that came with the liquor's harsh burn. It was becoming an elusive state, the numbness, and required more liquor each time he sought it.

Jim leaned back in the chair and stared hard at the man he had hoped to call 'son' some day. He didn't like what he saw. The man across the poker table from him was a shadow of the Rick Castle he'd met before Christmas. The last seven months had taken a terrible toll on him.

"She didn't even bother showing up for the funeral, Jim."

He whispered the words quietly and in an almost absent minded way but Jim Beckett knew who 'she' was and it still made him angry that his daughter 'had plans' and couldn't change them when he called and told her of Martha's death.

"Rick, let her go. Move on. No one would blame you, certainly not me and I'm her father. She's back on The Job and that's all she really wants out of life for now. Let her go. You're too good a man to waste his life…"

"Like you've 'moved on' from Johanna?" He shocked himself when he said it. He quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry, Jim. That was a shitty thing to say. I just…"

"Apology accepted but unnecessary. I have moved on, Rick. I met a woman in one of the classes I teach and we've gone out to dinner and a movie a few times. She's in her 40s and she thinks I'm still a young man. Must be blind."

They shared a chuckle and Castle finished his drink and poured himself another, ignoring Jim's disapproving stare.

"What? I like the numbness, Jim."

"So did I, Rick. That's how it started. Quit now. Come to AA. Get some help. Don't lose your life to a bottle of Scotch like I did."

"I can quit any time I want. I just don't want to. So, tell me about this mystery woman. Can I meet her?"

That ended any talk about Castle's drinking. He could see himself in the younger man and if anyone had reason to drink, it was Rick. He needed a distraction, something to fill the void in his life left by the changes. He loved his daughter but he hated what she'd done to Richard Castle and he made up his mind to do something about. His promise to Rick about not discussing 'the breakup' with Kate took a back seat to his young friend's future.

Heat Wave – The Movie premiered in Los Angeles to excellent reviews. Castle was expected to attend but he begged off when Natalie asked him to be her escort. He simply stated that it was too soon after his mother's death for him to be 'partying'.

"Okay, Rick, but we're opening in New York in two weeks and I really want to see you, okay? Please? I don't want to be one of those divas who shows up on the red carpet alone."

"I'll think about it. Maybe one of the guys from the Precinct would be a better tie-in to the movie than the guy that wrote the book."

"No, Castle. I want you. No one else, Rick, just you. The crew from the 12th will be there, too, so you won't be among strangers. There's a private party afterwards for the Precinct."

"On second thought, Natalie, no. I'm going to be very busy working on the final draft of Dead Heat. Find someone else." He hung up the phone. He didn't want to be reminded of the 12th.

Rick talked to Alexis almost every night just to check on her. He missed her and worried about her being alone in California but she assured him that she was 'fine'. "Here, talk to Mom."

"Hey, Rick. She's doing great. You really need to come out here, honey, and spend a few days with her. I know how you must miss her and…I don't want you alone in that barn with just memories. Please, Rick?"

"Maybe in a month or so, Meredith. I think it's best if she has more 'Mom time' without me gumming up the works. It sounds like you two are getting along."

"Yeah, we are. Listen, I did something I felt needed to be done, Rick. Please don't be mad but I told her about the hearing and how hard you fought. She needed to know, honey. She was so damned angry with you and from what she tells me, so was Martha. I couldn't let her think you didn't love her enough to fight for her."

He got all choked up and whispered a quick goodbye and went into his study and just sat staring out the window at the city. 'You've managed to rid yourself of all the women who love you, Richard. Aren't you proud of yourself?'

'Not all of them, Mother.'

12th Precinct

Detective Beckett strutted into the bullpen and set her coffee down on her desk and then fired up her computer. The murder board was empty for a change and she had a ton of paper work to catch up on.

Sensing that it was too quiet, she looked around and saw that she was the only one sitting at their desk. The boys were nowhere to be found and Captain Montgomery wasn't in his office, either.

A few minutes later the break room door opened and a crowd of laughing police officers and detectives came walking out, going back to their desks and duties.

"Hey, Beckett. How have you been?" Natalie Rhodes, blonde again, was standing beside her desk, smiling down at her. The smile didn't reach her eyes, however.

"Hello, Natalie. What brings you back to New York? Another film?" She didn't care why she was there. She was an irritating interruption in her daily routine. Since petitioning the board for reinstatement and demanding an end to her 'therapy', she'd been meticulous in keeping her personal life – personal.

"No. Just came by to deliver the tickets to the premiere and the information on the after-premiere party to the guys. I have one for – "

"I'm busy. Thanks, anyways." She was curt. Almost rude. She saw Esposito and Ryan staring at her and felt uncomfortable again. They were distant, cool even, but very professional calling her 'Detective' and always being very formal and professional. The Humal Slasher case had changed their relationship.

"Oh, I just stopped by to say 'hi'. I didn't want to ignore you and be rude. Not good for my new image. I just have to drop off Lanie's and I'm gone. I'm glad you're healthy and back to work. Rick was so scared that you wouldn't be able to come back when I talked to him before I left. Well, goodbye, Detective Beckett. I hope you rent and enjoy the DVD when it comes out."

She could see Esposito give Ryan a high-five. Angry and hurt, she turned back to her computer screen. 'Damn it, I'm Nikki Heat. Why wasn't I invited? He was afraid I wouldn't be able to come back?'

Morgue

"Oh, girlfriend, Javi just sent me a text. She walked right into it and he said you delivered your lines with 'devastating effect'." She made air quote signs with her fingers.

"She sits up there looking so smug after what she did to Rick! Honestly, it was all I could do not to say something really cutting like 'Is your new boyfriend worth what you did to him?' but I wanted to stick it to her without being catty."

"Speaking of Castle, any luck on getting the Hermit out for a night on the town?" She meant getting him to the premiere. No one had seen or heard from Castle since Martha's funeral. Lanie had been really pissed at Beckett for not bothering to show up after all the Castles, especially Martha, had done for her. It was damned disrespectful to the whole family.

"Nope but I was wondering if maybe we could have a 'mobile party' and take it to his place? Alexis is in LA; he's by himself in that mausoleum. I saw her last week at brunch. She's doing okay and seems to be adjusting to life with her mother, Meredith."

"That's a great idea. I'll plan on it."

The guys were just getting ready to leave when Beckett announced 'We have a body reported near Central Park' and started gathering up her purse and keys. "Well, come on, guys, move it. I said we have a body."

"Beckett, Esposito and Ryan are off rotation tonight. So are you. Karpowski's team will handle it. I'll see you all at the premiere and after-party." Captain Montgomery had made allowances for the team. He wanted them to enjoy their brief moments of fame. It was good for morale.

The boys and Captain Montgomery got on the elevator and the last thing she saw of them was the look of satisfaction on Esposito and Ryan's faces and the look of utter indifference on the Captain's.

Castle's Loft

His bags were packed and he'd double checked that he had everything he'd need for the remainder of the summer. Most of his 'Hamptons' clothing was at the beach house anyway. He was leaving New York and going to the beach house. He planned on going out to LA for a week and see Alexis but other than that, he had no plans to return to the city until Alexis did. At the last minute, he opened his safe, pulled out his passport and credit cards and stuffed them into his jacket pocket.

Dead Heat was due to be released in September and his publisher and ex-wife was both pleased with the promptness and disturbed by the content.

"Rick, why did you end it? More importantly, why did you end it this way? You've closed the door to any future sequels just like when you…oh, okay. Sorry. You're saying 'goodbye' to Beckett. I understand. Look, if you just need to talk, call me. No strings, Rick, I promise." He erased her message from the answering machine.

Anything involving a woman came with strings attached. He solved that problem by simply avoiding women. Any woman. The Hermit was back. Rick Rodgers was back. Richard Castle was safely tucked away where he couldn't be hurt any more.

'You've managed to rid yourself of all the women who love you, Richard. Aren't you proud of yourself?'

Rick glanced at his watch. The premiere was over and he hoped everyone was having a great time at the after-party. He hated turning Natalie down but he knew he'd be shitty company for such a fun event. He would try to make it up to her the next time he was in Los Angeles.

He left the loft and took the elevator down to the parking garage, loaded his single bag into the Ferrari and set out for his house on Long Island. He'd been drinking heavily throughout the day and had a drunk's overconfidence in his driving abilities.

Beckett's Apartment

Jim Beckett had left his daughter in tears sitting on her couch. He had told her 'truths' that she should have learned at 17 and later on through basic socialization but hadn't. Rick had been right all along, damn him.

She interpreted the normal transference that patients develop for their physicians or nurses as love. Being socially challenged and inexperienced, she acted inappropriately and unfortunately for her, her doctor was somewhat of a sexual predator.

It had all gone downhill from there. Her 'new love' never called and she took it badly. She was too afraid and unsure of how to act so she never tried to patch things up with Castle. She remembered his last words to her and went into denial big-time. It was all 'his' fault.

It was only after she 'killed' Castle during an impromptu therapy exercise that she began to realize just how badly fucked up she was. She petitioned for reinstatement and made a deal with her therapist: let her return to work and she'd stay in therapy.

Long Island Expressway

'Jesus, Rick, better watch the speed. Don't want to have a photo spread on TMZ…'

The big Ferrari's speed had crept up slowly from 65 to 80 and Castle just shook his head. The Beast wanted to be free to 'run' but Castle knew better. Once, alone of course, he'd had the speedometer up to 120mph but had backed off when he felt the front end go 'mushy'.

He got off the LIE earlier than normal and pushed the Beast hard on the winding rounds that ran parallel to the beaches. He felt invincible. The alcohol in his system and the purring of this incredible piece of machinery lulled him into a state of invincibility. The speedometer crept up past 80 again and he laughed as the drifted through turns skirting the New England rock walls that bordered the roadway in places.

God Damn but it felt good to be free for a while!

Easthampton, Long Island

The pursuing patrol cars were lagging far behind the speeding Ferrari but had been able to 'run the plates' on the vehicle. It helped them immensely in their notification process of next of kin. The Ferrari had struck the low, stone wall going in excess of 110mph, flipped over and burst into flames after careening into an electrical sub-station and plunging the small town into darkness.

A/N: Read my profile before sending anthrax-laden emails. Btw, I've had my shots.