A/N I know it's been almost a week since I updated but I had exams and a lot of other stuff to deal with so I'm a bit late. I hope this chapter makes up for it. It's the fluffiest one so far I think.
Before I let you read I have to thank to all the people who reviewed and favorited and put this story on alert and oddly enough added me to their favorite author's list. I am literally speechless (and that does not happen often so be proud).
I hope this chapter is to your liking and if it is please please please let me know.
Go on then…Rane is waiting for you
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He couldn't remember the last time he woke up feeling so peaceful and well rested. Well…he wasn't exactly awake just yet. His eyes were still closed, his mind still cloudy.
Through the sleep induced haze he could picture the events of last night; the snacks, the jokes, the movies, strong arms around him, warm palm wrapped around his, and…wait, WHAT?
His eyes snapped open and he blinked confusedly for a moment realizing what was going on. His face was hidden in the crook of somebody's neck and he was inhaling the scent of apples and something he couldn't identify but it was still strangely comforting and familiar. His hand was placed onto someone's toned and flat stomach and there was a larger, stronger hand covering his own. That same someone had his other arm around his shoulders creating a warm, safe little cocoon just for him.
He looked up and his eyes fell on the peaceful looking boy fast asleep and still holding him close.
His heart sped up. His breath got caught in his throat as he struggled to get out of Shane's grasp. Deep down Reed knew that he was never in danger when the older boy was next to him. He knew Shane would never do anything to cause him pain. But right now he just wanted to get away. He didn't even know why.
He took a deep breath and put all of his strength to use to try and set himself free. As he squirmed in Shane's arms the motion stirred the dancer and he cracked his eyes open feeling more than confused. He blinked and set his eyes on the small figure that was still shifting and tossing around looking slightly panicked. It took him a moment but then the realization settled down and the cold feeling rushed through him. Reed was trying to get away and he wouldn't let him go. He scared him. Again.
He quickly pulled his arms away from him feeling worst than ever when the small artist jumped from the bed and collided with the wall next to it looking at him with fear filled eyes and shaking.
"Reed…I'm sorry I just…you were asleep last night and you wouldn't let me leave and…I just…sorry…I'll go…"- Shane got up from the bed and, with one last look at the boy he knew he loved more than life itself, made his way to the door.
Reed stared at him leaving and all of a sudden that was the last thing he wanted. It dawned on him that it wasn't just the fact that he didn't want to be alone. He could go and find any of the boys for that. No, he wanted Shane to stay with him.
The dancer was already unlocking the door and Reed knew he had to do something fast.
"WAIT!"- Reed wanted to hit himself on the head (that was very smooth Van Kamp…amazing…just brilliant.)
Shane turned around and looked at him and all Reed could see in his eyes was pain and sadness. He was finding it hard to believe but it looked like he was the one to put it there. He wanted to make it go away. But he didn't know how.
"Sorry I reacted like that…I…I woke
up and saw y-you and I guess I got scared…I ummm…do that sometimes. You don't have to go."- he said quietly hoping Shane would forgive him and just stay.
The tall dancer smiled at him and walked back to the bed.
"You mind if I lie back down? I got up so fast I'm feeling a bit dizzy."
"N-no of course I don't mind. I'm sorry I made you go."- he was now playing with the long sleeves of the dark blue hoodie Shane gave him last night. It was comfortable and warm and he was secretly hoping Shane would forget about it and he could keep it. A small smile tugged the corners of his lips upwards and Shane felt even more dizzy looking at him like that.
"It looks good on you, you know?"- he said and motioned to his shirt when he saw Reeds confused look.
"I…I should give this back to you."- he answered shyly and lifted the shirt up pulling his own shirt with it exposing a thin line of pale skin at his waist. Shane felt like he was burning and he knew he had to do something to prevent Reed from revealing more because he was sure he wouldn't survive the need to touch him.
"No it's ok…you can keep that one…I have another one just like that. Besides it looks better on you anyway."- he smiled softly at the boy who was now untangling himself from the shirt that was insanely big on his tiny form.
"Are you sure?"- Shane chuckled a little when he saw that Reed was actually happy about his offer to give him his hoodie. He hurried up and assured the little cutie in front of him that yes he was sure and he could keep the shirt if he wanted to.
"Thank you."- Reed said shyly and glanced at Shane through his long eyelashes and blushing. Only a second after a look of confusion wrinkled his forehead and he turned to Shane again.
"Shane…you said I wouldn't let you leave. What did you mean by that?"- he was full on red right now and he kind of knew he wouldn't like what he heard.
"Well you fell asleep during the movie and we didn't want to wake you up and so I just brought you in here and I was about to leave when you kind of just grabbed my hand and told me not to go. You looked sort of scared so Kurt said I should stay. And I did. Is that ok?"- he asked not really sure if Reed was now regretting what he did when he was barely conscious.
"Y-yes, of course. And um, thank you. For…y'know…staying with me. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."- Reed was still standing with his back against a wall and he was now glancing at the bed wishing he was brave enough to lie back down next to Shane and try to find that perfect feeling he had when the older boy was close to him. Shane caught the direction he was looking at.
"You didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I was actually kind of flattered you trusted me enough to ask me to stay. Even if you weren't quite awake at the time."- Shane laughed a bit and then looked up at Reed.
"You know you can lie back down if you'd like. I mean it's your room so you shouldn't stand up. I can even get off the bed if you're not comfortable with me being on it with you."
Reed looked at him suddenly wondering if Shane can actually read his mind because he always said exactly the thing he needed to hear. And most of the time what Reed needed was to know that he had a choice and that the other person was willing to give him his space if he requested it. Hearing it from Shane just made him more sure that he wanted him there.
He pushed himself from the wall and timidly walked to the bed. Shane scooted to the far end of the bed to give Reed as much space as he possibly could without really standing up. Reed lied down facing Shane and the two of them spent the next few minutes just watching each other and basking in each other's presence.
Shane was admiring Reeds hair, his warm brown eyes and his soft pink lips that were now captured between pearly teeth. He was wondering if he would ever have the chance to do that to his lips.
He was sure Reed was aware of his feeling for him and considering that, it was obvious that the small boy didn't feel the same way about him. But he did ask him to stay. And he was right there next to him after he slept through the night in his arms. That had to count for something. Right?
On the other side of the bed Reed was shyly avoiding Shane's eyes but he still kept his own somewhere on the dancers face. He loved the way his nose scrunched up whenever he smiled at him, and the way his lips were shining in the morning sun looking so inviting. Reed was shocked by his own thoughts because he had never kissed anyone before. Even when they did…that to him… nobody kissed him.
Sometimes he felt lucky that he still had something for himself. He still had something to give to the person he chose. And at that moment he felt somewhere deep inside of him that Shane was that person. If only Kurt was right. He told him Shane liked him. But Reed still found it hard to believe. And he knew he was way too scared to make the first move. Like he would know what the first move was supposed to be even if he wasn't afraid.
They were still captured in their own little world when loud rustling sounded from outside of Reeds door. Muffled voices were followed by a soft knock and then Blaine spoke.
"Guys are you up yet?"
Reed stood up and opened the door. Shane sat up and watched as all the boys from last night scrambled into the small dorm room in their best winter gear.
"Um what exactly are you doing dressed like that?"- Reed asked looking almost afraid to actually hear the answer.
"We, my abnormally small friend, are going out. To play. In the snow. How cool is that?"- Cam said and his answer was followed by an excited squeak that came from Jeff who was jumping around so much Reed thought the only thing that kept him from flying out the window was Nick's hand.
"First of all I'm not abnormally small, and second, the last time I checked my room was not outside so what are you doing here?"- when all of this came out of Reed's mouth everybody fell silent. Including Reed but he was surprised for an entirely different reason.
They knew Reed as a small, shy, quiet and timid boy who didn't avoid speaking but was careful with his words as if he was afraid he would provoke somebody if he said something wrong.
Reed knew himself better than that. He remembered the slightly awkward but witty and sarcastic artist who wasn't necessarily brave but who was always saying what was on his mind. And now that artist came back. Even if it was for a moment. Reed welcomed him with all his heart.
"Whoa…I think I let Kurt around you too much."- Blaine recovered from his shock when Kurt hit him on the back of his head faking the pain of the insult but silently feeling proud because he knew Reed just made a huge step forward.
"Well now that our little, not so scary, tiger put his claws away, we should go. And Shane, Reed when I say we I mean the two of you too."- Wes finally spoke up with his best headcouncilmember voice.
"Wait…I…you want me to go out. When there's ice. And snow."- Reed looked at them like they lost their minds.
"Come on Reedy. It won't be the same without you."- Jeff was obviously serious about it because he actually stopped bouncing like crazy to say this.
"Um guys…I'm gonna break something. Or die y'know. So maybe it's better that you go and I'll stay here get rid of my homework or something."- he said looking down. He liked playing in the snow but he knew his chances of staying on his feet were slim to none even when the ground is dry and solid. Snow could easily be the death of him.
Shane looked at him quietly and saw a flash of want on his cherubic face. He knew Reed wanted to go but was well aware of the fact that he had no coordination whatsoever. But he wanted him to go.
So he came close to him and aligned his lips with Reeds ear.
"Come on, let's go. I already told you I'd keep you safe. I won't let you hurt yourself."
Reed shivered as Shane's breath tickled his neck and he smiled softly at the taller boy nodding timidly.
"Yaaaaaaaay! Go go go! You have to get dressed!"- Jeff practically screamed at them and they jumped away from each other and went to get ready.
Half an hour later all the boys were outside trying to come up with a plan. It wasn't going very well mainly because Jeff went mad the second his feet touched the snow and he was now grinning like an idiot and throwing snow all around.
Cam was carrying Thad on his back for a moment before unceremoniously dropping him on his butt.
David and Wes were acting all bossy and serious but nobody paid them any attention.
Nick was trying to catch up with Jeff and they were both laughing.
Kurt and Blaine brought a plastic bag with everything they needed to make a gigantic snowman and were now preparing to do just that. Trent joined them along with Reed and Shane.
The snowman was beginning to resemble something familiar under the gloved hands of the boys, when Reed placed his foot on a piece of ice and slipped.
He felt his insides turn upside down as he lost his ground and started to fall. Shane caught on what was going on and rushed to keep him up. He ran to him and wrapped his arms around Reeds torso but the boy was already halfway to the ground so he just pulled Shane down with him.
He fell flat onto his back and Shane landed on top of him while his hands were cradling Reeds head to keep him from hurting himself. The snow and their coats were thick enough to keep the rest of their bodies from harm.
Reed opened his eyes slowly when he realized there was no pain. He could feel Shane's arms around him and his body on top of his. Deep down he knew that, were it anybody else, he would go into the whole panic mode by now. But it was Shane who was covering him and Reed felt safe.
His eyes found Shane's and the dancer offered him a small smile while watching him with shiny eyes.
Shane felt like he was close to melting. Reed was warm beneath him and he could almost feel his heartbeat even through their thick clothes. Slowly, he brought one of his hands from behind Reeds head to tuck one rebellious curl inside his beanie. He gently traced his fingers down his soft cheek reveling in the dark pink shadow that appeared because of his touch. His angel was blushing because of him again and Shane was losing all coherency.
"You ok, Bambi?"- as soon as the word slipped from his lips Shane wanted to stab himself in the eye…with a fork. Everything was going so well with Reed. He was starting to let him come close and hold him, he was trusting him enough to sleep in his arms, he was talking to him and he was asking him to stay with him. And now he blew it because he couldn't control his stupid tongue.
Reed was looking at him wide eyed and confused. Shane just called him Bambi. No one has ever had a pet name for him. Well his mom called him honey sometimes but he never had someone (a male of his age to be exact) who cared for him enough to call him anything but Reed.
And as much as he was confused by Shane and his own feeling for the tall dancer he knew that it was just a matter of time before he had enough courage to face himself and admit that he was falling for Shane. It scared him to no end. But he knew Shane wouldn't hurt him.
Shane waited for Reed to say something but nothing came out. Mentally slapping himself he looked down at Reed and decided that the best thing to do is to apologize and hope Reed would forget about him being an idiot.
"Reed I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't thinking…"
"Why did you call me that?"- Reed asked really wanting to know.
"Um… how about we get up from the snow and get back to the dorm. I'll make us some hot chocolate and we can talk. I'll answer whatever you want me to ok?"- he asked praying silently for the smaller boy to say yes.
"Okay. Hot chocolate sounds great. Warm is good. Let's go."- he tried to get up but failed because Shane was still on top of him.
"Um Shane…we have to get up to go inside you know."- he smiled.
"Oh, right, sorry. Here let me help you."- he picked the small boy up in his arms and carried him inside, ignoring his demands to put him down, and loving the soft giggles that kept escaping Reeds pink lips.
Once they were inside, dried and warm (and Shane wanted to jump like a maniac when Reed got out of his bathroom wearing tight jeans and Shane's hoodie), Shane made them hot chocolate and placed it on the table forbidding Reed to touch it until it's cooled down.
"Okay um…you wanted to know why I called you Bambi, right?"- he asked the small boy that was sitting next to him on the bed.
Reed just nodded shyly and Shane swooned internally at the cuteness.
"I need you to promise me something before I tell you ok?"
Another nod.
"I want you to promise me that you will still be willing to be my friend and not get mad at me. Also I need you to know that I don't expect anything from you that you don't want and you don't have to feel obliged to say something or feel bad ok?"
"I promise…but you're starting to scare me now."-Reed said quietly dreading the moment when he would find out what was going on inside Shane's head.
"I don't think you should be scared. It's really not a long story. It's not even a story. It's more like a statement. I'm rambling now. Okay. Well I know you think the first time we saw each other was at lunch that day when you ran…no please don't feel the need to explain. Some day, if you feel ready to share it with me you'll tell me. Reed, I saw you before that. In front of the chem lab. The second I saw you I knew that I had to get to know you. And I liked you. And somehow I just needed something to call you until I found out your name and you were so…cute and kind of lost because it was your first day and all, and you reminded me of an adorable little lamb and I started calling you Bambi in my head. And I guess I kind of kept calling you that even after I knew your name. And that's it. I'm sorry if this is making you feel uncomfortable. I didn't mean to just drop it on you like this."- Shane finished awkwardly and he was now looking at his knees waiting for Reed to tell him to go away.
But it never came.
Reed was sitting quietly next to him trying to pluck up the courage to tell Shane how he felt. But first he had to make sure he heard right.
"You…you like…me?"
"Yes, Reed I do. A lot."
"I like the name y'know."- he said timidly afraid to look at Shane.
Shane was staring at him surprised but incredibly happy.
"So you're not mad or freaked out?"- he asked the painter.
"Not really…and um…I have to tell you something. I think I like you too. But Shane you need to know that you could do so much better than me. I mean…you see me all the time and you know how I am. I'm lost and confused and pretty much broken beyond repair and…"- he was cut off by a strong hand grabbing his own.
"Reed…whatever you think about yourself is not true. You're amazing and sweet and talented and funny and so unbelievably beautiful sometimes it's hard for me to believe you're real. But I'm telling you again I don't expect anything from you that you're not ready to give. If you want us to just stay friends that that's exactly what we'll do."- he squeezed his small hand to prove him he was being completely honest.
And Reed knew it was time to just let go of his fear at least for a second and tell the truth.
"And if I don't want to stay friends? "- he asked quietly and Shane's heart broke. It was the worst possible outcome.
"Then I'll leave you alone. Thank you for letting me get to know you."- he was ready to stand up but Reed corrected himself before he could.
"I meant what if I wanted more?"
Shane was sure he had misheard, because there was no way that he, Shane Anderson, was that lucky to have a shot with a living, breathing angel.
But Reed was there. Looking at him shyly and so adorably he could die. And he was giving them a chance.
"Then I guess I would ask you to be my boyfriend, if you'd like. Or just to go out with me first. Whatever you're okay with."- Reed couldn't believe how amazing the boy in front of him was.
Giving him all the choice and placing his own future in his hands, trusting him with his heart. He knew he wasn't good enough, but Shane disagreed. And somehow he thought that maybe one day he could even convince him that he wasn't broken for good. That at least a part of him could be saved. All he had to do was say yes.
"I would like that."-he said finally looking up into Shane's eyes.
"Which part?"- he asked playfully.
"Um…the first one."- he said once again feeling unsure to say the word out loud.
"So you're telling me that you want to be my boyfriend?"- Shane asked again wanting nothing more that to hear him say it. To make him believe it was real. Because for all he knew he would wake up any minute now. He wasn't sure he could survive that.
"Y-yes…if you want me t-to be."- he stuttered and looked down once again.
Shane took a moment to compose himself and then he placed his index finger underneath Reed's chin to make him look at him.
"if I didn't want it I wouldn't have asked. Do you think it would be ok for me to kiss my boyfriend?"- he asked half excited, half afraid. He didn't want to push Reed too far so soon. But the boy in front of him just looked at him and nodded once again.
Shane stepped closer to him. He wrapped his arm around Reeds waist and placed the second on his cheek. He stroked his cheekbone with his thumb softly, looking him straight in the eyes to make sure Reed was still ok with what they were about to do. He started to lean in slowly to give Reed time to stop him if he felt the need to.
But Reed was standing still. His lips were slightly parted and he was breathing heavily. But he knew that it was the moment he was waiting for. Shane was there, he asked his permission, he was caring, and sweet, and he was ready to stop if he wanted him to. Reed was sure.
So when Shane leaned all the way in he allowed his eyes to flutter shut and the next thing he knew there was a pair of warm, soft lips gently pressing against his own.
There was no rush, no demanding and no mindless lust and urgency. Just tender, feather light touches awakening storms in Reeds mind. He was falling and flying, he was burning and freezing, he was scared and happy and grateful and proud and safe.
Shane was there on the other side of the kiss. It made all the difference in the world. Shane was there. He was protecting him.
Shane ended their kiss with a soft peck on those sweet lips he was dreaming of for months.
Reeds eyes were still closed and Shane kissed both of his eyelids before those huge brown eyes found his again.
He smiled at Reed and with a reassuring look and sat down bringing him with him. Reed settled himself onto Shane's lap as the dancer wrapped his arms around him and just hummed into his ear quietly.
Reeds head fell onto Shane's chest and his eyes closed on their own will.
Shane saw that he was ready to fall asleep and he just held him closer keeping him warm and scaring the nightmares away.
"Sleep my little Bambi. I'll be here when you wake up."