Had an earthquake yesterday down south of us. Felt like the planet hiccupped.

Lots of personal perspective in this. Had the same conversations once or more upon a time.

Chapter 39

July 4 – Independence Day

She had wanted Rick to be taken to the beach house by ambulance for his comfort but he would have no part of that. Instead, he gave Kate his Amex card and told her to 'rent something we can use around town'.

She rented a small convertible and asked to have it delivered to the hospital and then went up to his room to help him with his 'stuff'. He was already sitting in a wheelchair working at filling out a form when Kate found him at the nurses' station.

"Got more damned forms than the Army or the Precinct. Um, you're not going to get in any trouble for taking too much time off, are you, Kate?"

"Captain Montgomery understands our 'situation' and it's not like I don't have time accrued. All I've really done since…no, I won't get into any trouble. I told you, Castle, I'll take a leave of absence or quit. Family first from now on, sweetheart."

The ride to the beach house almost ended in disaster. The sand track to the beach house hadn't been 'brushed' and the car nearly bogged down several times but finally made it.

Kate parked the car and huffed the hair out of her face. They were finally alone for the first time in months. 'The hospital doesn't count,' she thought to herself. 'I couldn't really let go and be myself around him when there were so many 'issues' pending.'

Castle hadn't said a word since getting out of the car and now he just sat there on the porch, looking at the surf, off somewhere alone again.

Kate sat down beside him and picked up his arm and pulled it around her shoulders and then put her head on his shoulder. "What thoughts course through that beautiful mind of yours, Rick? Not having second thoughts about us, are you?"

"Hmm? Oh, no. Just thinking about all the things I haven't done yet, that's all. Just…Kate, if I die, will you look after Alexis until she's sufficiently on her own that she won't need…"

"No, Rick. I won't look after her – we will be here for her long after she wishes we weren't. We deserve a happy ending and by God, we're going to have it."

"Thanks," he said, quietly. He looked out at the surf and counted the waves that broke on the beach. There were 37 in a minute and that meant almost 20 million in a year given an average. He knew that storms increased the count but he was dealing with averages without the need for empiricism.

"Anything you need, sweetheart?" Kate didn't know this Rick. She wondered if he would change much knowing that he may or may not have a death sentence growing in his head. God, how would she handle the knowledge that she might be looking at the end of life. With stoicism, fear, denial?

"Time, Kate. I need more time. We haven't spent much time alone outside of hospitals and those few times at the loft. It's so fucking unfair!" He pounded his fist on the edge of the rattan loveseat and she caught it in her hand and pulled it to her lips and kissed it.

Well, she had her answer. Anger. Real emotion.

"We'll have time for that and more. We'll be together no matter what happens, Castle. I can't imagine a world without Richard Rodgers in it any more than I can a world without sunshine. Nope, not going to happen, big guy. I've got you and I'm not letting you go. I won't let you go. Not again. Not ever."

'It's just one doctor's opinion. We'll get others. Someone must be able to kill this thing in his head before it kills us. Surely God isn't this cruel?'

While he took a nap he said he didn't need, 'God, he could be like such a little boy', Kate looked through the pantry and refrigerator and made a list of things they'd have to have to make life easier.

She'd gone over her list and added some things and scratched out others. She was bored. The place was spotless and now that her 'shopping list' was done, she was at loose ends.

She called her dad to update him on things and then called Alexis to tell her that her dad was out of the hospital and was really looking forward to seeing her.

"Kate, seriously, how is he?" Alexis might only be 16 but she knew enough about her father to know that he kept things from her as adroitly as anyone she'd ever come across. He was a real master at deflection and distraction.

"He's good. Tired but that's to be expected. He's quieter than usual but I think that's because he's adjusting to everything that gone down. He'll be running around like a 9-year old on a sugar rush in a week, certainly no more."

"He's quiet? Crap. There's something big on his mind, Kate. Be careful. A quiet Dad is a dangerous one. How…how are things between you two? I mean, I guess I mean, are you staying?"

"For as long as he'll have me, Lex, and we're getting married around Christmas so I'll need some help with things. Up to the task?"

"Grams…uh, Grams had lists all over the loft. I guess they're still there. We'll have to see. Well, give him a hug for me. We'll see you tomorrow. We're renting a car so don't worry about us. See ya, Kate."

She made spaghetti for supper with garlic bread and a simple green salad. They ate out on the porch and it was nice. Every once in a while Rick would look up from his plate and smile at her and then continue eating. When he'd done it for about the 20th time, Kate called him out on it.

"Okay, Rick. What's with the furtive glances? Have I got something green between my teeth or something?"

"Nope. Just looking at you, that's all. I can look at you, right?"

"There's more to it than that, Castle…there always is."

"Your scars. You totally ignore them. You had your hair in a ponytail at the hospital most of the time and you didn't feel the need to hide them. No one said anything, did they? No. No one stared, did they? No. See. You're beautiful and those small imperfections accentuate that beauty. I just like looking at you, that's all."

She felt a flash of need, of desire, of longing for this man. 'He says the sweetest things and I just want to grab him and have my way with him but he's hurting. Cracked ribs are nothing to laugh at. He has a hole in his gut and stitches. We have time, though.'

Rick got up and carefully straightened up and walked into the living room and fooled around with something and suddenly the porch was filled with soft music.

"Dance with me, Kate. I think I can handle it if you can." A challenge. Kate Beckett could never resist a challenge.

"Just don't pass out on me, okay? Muscling you into bed would be a challenge I'm not up to. And don't make fun of me, Castle. I don't exactly have a lot of experience on the dance floor." 'Or anywhere else, for that matter. Social stuff…gotta learn if I'm going to be the wife of Richard Castle, author and celebrity.'

"Relax, Kate. Listen to the music and let me handle the navigation. Just hold on to me and I'll handle the rest." His whispers against her ruined ear went straight to her groin and she shivered.

"Cold?" he asked. "We can go inside and – "

"No, not cold. I just…your breath on my ear, you're driving me crazy here, Castle. You're not up for anything you may start."

He knew exactly what he was doing and he smiled – until she leaned up and started kissing his neck and then it was his turn to shudder.

"What's the matter, Castle? Cold?" She giggled and settled her cheek against his and just enjoyed the way he moved her and how close they were.

He tired more easily than he thought and he cursed his weakness but she just led him to the loveseat and curled up against him carefully and they watched the town's 4th of July fireworks display until she felt him nodding off.

"Hey, let's go to bed, Rick. Big day tomorrow. Alexis and Meredith will be here and you don't want them thinking you're getting old, do you?"

"I'll show you who's getting old, Katherine Beckett, in 7 days. I'll have you on the edge and keep you there until you beg…"

She kissed him, letting things progress as he felt comfortable with and then soon they were lying beside each other, comfortable with things as they were. Other than kissing and Kate's wandering lips, they'd been better behaved than most teenagers.

Her last words were 'Happy Independence Day'. He didn't hear her. He was asleep with that damned smirk on his lips.

July 5
7am

Kate's cell woke her and it took her a few rings to unwrap herself from Rick. They'd migrated towards each other in the night and she wasn't surprised to feel one of his big hands cupping her butt and the other wrapped around her.

"Beckett." Habit.

"Kate, it's Alexis. We're somewhere over Kansas. Mom was impatient and we took the redeye out of LAX so we'll be there around 11 or so. Just wanted you to know in case you and Dad decided to get naked and fool around. Not ready for that parental sex image. Brain bleach."

"Lexie, clean up your mind and mouth. What happened to the sweet little girl who left New York? Is California corrupting you?"

"Not…exactly, Kate. I have a boyfriend. He lives up the road from Mom. He's…nice…and he never seems to notice the 'decorations', if you get my drift. He's a killer skate boarder and he's going to teach me how to surf. His mom's Meredith's best bud so we do a lot together with parental supervision so you and Dad don't have to be worried about becoming grandparents…right now."

"Gr-grandparents? Alexis Rodgers, your father and I have decided you're too innocent and so we've found a nice Catholic Boarding school for you…an all girls' boarding school…in North Dakota."

"Kate, you're kidding, right? You wouldn't let Dad do that to me…would you?"

"No more grandparent references or I'm sure your father will find one in some really remote place…okay?"

"Evil stepmother-to-be, I promise to remain chaste and virtuous…as long as I can." She hung up with a giggle and Kate just sat on the edge of the bed, shaking her head. 'Granny Beckett?'

Rick stirred and ran a finger down her spine and laughed when she shivered. "Who was that, Kate? Sounded like work."

"It was Alexis. Rick, how do you feel about being a grandfather?"