A/N Angsty as fuck. That's all I have to say about this. Read. *burns in hell*
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"Reed! REED!"-Hilde's panicking voice was echoing from the phone on the floor next to the unmoving form of a small boy.
He would look asleep if there weren't tears streaking his pale, blood drained cheeks, and soft whimpers escaping his lips as his subconscious attacked him with images of unwanted hands on his skin, of hated lips on his neck and an unwelcomed hardness pressing inside of him painfully.
Hilde was almost hysterical on the other end of the line, desperate to hear her son's voice, but heard footsteps instead.
"Okay so I brought the first one, but it's the uncut version so it'll…REED!"-Shane all but dived head first onto do floor next to his boyfriend, cradling him against his chest and shaking him slightly to wake him up. He missed the shouts coming from the cell phone.
"Bambi, please wake up. God, Reed please, please look at me. Open your eyes honey."-Shane rocked him back and forth more confused than ever.
So far Shane knew that something awful had happened to his angel and he hated not knowing what it was. Reed had nightmares about it, and sometimes they were so bad he couldn't handle it by himself so he would call Kurt to be there with him. Shane always felt a bit envious that Kurt was the one who got to hold him until he felt calm enough to go back to sleep. And then he would feel guilty for being jealous of the person who made Reed feel better. He couldn't help it, though. He wanted Reed to trust him enough to let him in. Shane knew nothing would ever make him love Reed less. He was his everything and Shane knew that, if Reed would have him, he would marry him someday.
A loud scream from somewhere near him snapped him out of his haze and he stopped rocking Reed in his arms and looked around to find the source of the sound.
His eyes fell on the small silver device next to Reed's fingers indicating he had dropped the phone when he fell.
A female voice was still blasting through the speakers sounding seconds away from a nervous breakdown. Shane gently picked the phone up and held it to his ear, still holding Reed close to himself as the boy's breathing calmed down and now, to Shane's relief, he was just sleeping.
"H-Hello?"-Shane called shakily not really knowing who was on the other side.
"Who are you? Is Reed ok?"-Hilde asked thankful somebody answered the phone.
"I'm Shane. Reed's boyfriend. He's okay now. I think he's sleeping."-Shane answered not really thinking about what he was saying and to whom.
"Oh thank God…wait boyfriend? My son has a boyfriend?"-Hilde screeched into the phone.
"Jesusyou'reReed'smother. Oh…oh God…okay...um…hi Ms. Van Kamp. I'm Shane Anderson. I'm sorry we had to meet like this. I mean not that we actually met because we're on the phone but…anyway…yes Reed and I have been together for a while now. I had no idea he never mentioned me and…um…I just want you to know that I'm treating him right…and…ugh…could you please say something I'm kinda loosing it here."-Shane was now grasping the phone madly, pressing him into his skin and waiting for Hilde to unleash her rage on him. He knew he was screwed. And Reed would kill him when he woke up. Either way he was dead.
On the other side Hilde was hyperventilating for a moment before something came to her mind. A panicked voice begging for her son to wake up, calling him honey and caring for him enough to take care of him. Then she remembered the paintings Reed sent her just a couple of days ago. One was of a tall, beautiful looking young man, with curly dark brown hair and golden eyes, sporting a gentle smile obviously directed toward the painter. She remembered seeing the painting and thinking she should ask Reed about this boy and get him to model for her sometimes because he was absolutely stunning.
"Calm down boy. I can't kill you over the phone as much as I might like to right now. Just tell me something. Are you really tall and curly haired?"-Hilde asked honestly hoping for an affirmative answer because…hello, well done Reed snatching a teenage Calvin Klein model.
"Yes ma'am."-Shane answered not really knowing what was that about.
"Okay good. Look we'll have to talk about this some other time. I just want you to take care of him right now and…"-Hilde was cut off by Shane.
"If you don't mind me asking what happened? One minute we were in his room arguing about what movie to watch and the next I come back with the DVD to find him unconscious on the floor."
"Reed never told you what happened to him, did he?"-Hilde asked knowingly, all too familiar with the way her son dealt with things. Alone and in silence.
"No. Kurt is the only one who knows. I want to be able to help him, to be there for him the right way but there's not much I can do when he closes up every time I try to ask him about it."-Shane said sadly and Hilde almost cried at his tone realizing this boy really loved her son. They were young and the chances of them lasting were slim, in all honesty, but right now, Shane loved Reed and that was all Hilde needed to know about the tall, beautiful boy.
"Well Shane I don't think I should be the one to tell you that. I just want you to know that I don't agree with my son's decision to keep this from you. I'll talk to him later so please have him call me when he wakes up. And Shane, if it's not too much trouble, could you stay with him?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way. I…I love your son, I really do."-Shane said quietly feeling a bit awkward but proud of himself nonetheless.
"I can hear it kid. Thank you for keeping him safe. Have him call me later. Bye."-and with that Hilde was gone.
Shane dropped the phone back on the ground and picked Reed gently up in his arms. The tiny boy just stirred slightly but continued to sleep, probably exhausted from his panic attack.
Shane placed him on the bed and snuggled up next to him, holding him closely and carding his fingers through his soft curls.
Sometimes he just couldn't bear the thought of whatever happened to Reed. His boyfriend was angelic, and pure, and utterly beautiful. Shane loved every single thing about him. But he also knew that whatever it was that had broken Reed did happen. And as much as Shane hated the thought of making him tell him he just needed to know so he could help him so he could protect him.
Shane leaned down and placed a barely-there kiss onto Reed's forehead and forced him a little closer as he watched him sleep for what seemed like hours.
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"Well aren't you taking it like a true little whore? You like it don't you? I should have known that all of that NO thing was just a cover. Cockslut!"
"Guys I'm done here. Anyone else who wants to have a go? He seems more than willing to me"
"Just leave him there. If he lives he's gonna be too scared to talk anyway."
"Reed! Reed come on wake up buddy. You're safe now."- Sean reached out to the boy and at that moment bloodshot brown eyes snapped open as an inhumanly scream ripped off his lips and he scrambled backwards, slamming his back against the wall and leaving a trail of blood behind him.
"NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"
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"Reed, baby, shhh, calm down. It's me Shane. Please wake up Bambi, please."-Shane was full on panicking right now.
At some point Reed started screaming in his sleep and trashing around the bed begging to be let go. Shane held him whispering soothing words into his ear but the boy just screamed louder, saying that he didn't want it and to let him go and that it hurt.
Shane's mind started to logically think and all of a sudden Shane was slightly sick. If his logic was correct his perfect little boy was hurt in the worst possible way and Shane just hugged him closer, silently crying and promising nothing would ever hurt him as long as he was there.
All of a sudden Reed's eyes snapped open and he looked at Shane with a look of pure terror as he screamed at him.
"NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"-he fought against Shane but he was way too small to have a real chance.
"Reed, Bambi it's me. Shane. It's okay. I've got you. They will never hurt you again. I got you."
"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME. HELP ME! SOMEBODY PLEASE! GET OFF ME!"-as he screamed for help Shane decided to try and let him go.
He unwrapped his arms from around the boy and immediately he launched himself off the bed and into the far corner of the room. He curled himself on the floor, as he held himself around the waist as if preventing himself from falling apart. From that position he kept eyeing Shane and at that moment the tall dancer realized that Reed was still in his own world and that he didn't recognize him.
He was at a loss for a few moments as he watched his petite angel sob and shake with fear.
Not really thinking about what he was doing he stood up and walked over to the shelf where Reed held his movies. He picked Bambi up and popped it in the player. The familiar music filled the room and Shane sat at the end of the bed trying to appear relaxed as he hummed the tune quietly. He could wait.
Reed watched confusedly as Marcus got up and started walking, and he pressed himself closer to the wall to protect himself as best as he could.
But the attack never came. The tall boy just took a movie and played it, sitting on the bed and humming.
The tune sounded vaguely familiar. Reed looked at the boy and out of nowhere the brown eyes trained at the TV in front of him weren't menacing, the soft voice wasn't threatening, those strong hands weren't hurtful, the boy on the bed wasn't Marcus.
"S-Shane."-he whispered brokenly and then watched as Shane looked at him eyes wide and concerned.
And it was the look in his eyes that made Reed get up and run across the room to throw himself in his arms as his body limped and he cried long and hard hiding his face into Shane's neck.
The tall boy just held him there, rubbing soft circles into his back and repeating quiet I love you's as he calmed down.
After what seemed like a year to Shane Reed's sobs died down and he crawled out of his lap to sit next to him, red rimmed eyes and sniffling and embarrassed.
"I'm sorry Shane. I'm so so sorry."- his voice was rough from crying and so unbelievably quiet and Shane hated it. He hated the fact that the boy sitting next to him was the boy he saw the first day of school. His Reed started coming out of his shell, he didn't apologize for every little thing anymore and he didn't have panic attacks like this.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. Reed what happened?"
"I can't tell you that."-he stood up and walked away from Shane tearing his heart apart just a little bit more.
He sat in his armchair and curled up again and as a single tear slipped down his porcelain cheek Shane decided he couldn't take it anymore.
So Reed will hate him. But at least he will know how to behave around him and how to help him. He got up and walked to him, kneeling in front of him, reaching up and cupping his cheek with his hand.
"Reed, look at me."
He did.
"Will you answer one question of mine honestly?"
A timid nod.
"Reed, were you raped?"
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Reed's heart pounded, his breath hitched and his hands started shaking. Shane knew. He knew that Reed was damaged and now he's going to leave him.
And Reed would be alone. But he couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't deserve Shane to stay. He deserved nothing. He is and always will be worthless.
He looked at Shane and realized there was nothing to hide anymore. Shane knew somehow. He'd lost him.
"Yes."-he answered the question looking away to avoid the look of disgust on the face he loved more than anything.
"Can you please go now?"-he hated his voice for cracking with new tears as he asked Shane to go. He wanted to sound strong; he wanted Shane to know that he could make it alone. Even though he knew the last beautiful and alive part of him will die the second Shane walks out.
He jolted when a warm hand encased his clutched palms as another, equally warm hand forced him to look back up at him.
"I don't want to go. And I don't think you want me gone. Not really."-Reed's eyes bulged at him in surprise. What was wrong with this boy? He was being given a free pass out of the worst relationship he could possibly have found himself in and he wanted to stay?
"Yes I do!"
"No Reed. You don't. So you can just forget about it. If you don't want to talk that's fine with me. I'm just gonna sit here and wait until you're ready."-Shane said firmly, placed himself next to Reed's chair and waited.
His mind was swarming with pain and anger and helplessness. How could someone do something so wrong to anyone? How could someone do that to Reed? And, God, would he ever let him in? Would he ever trust him enough?
Reed watched Shane dumbfounded. He sat next to him and just remained silent. Was it possible that Shane really could love him? He touched him after he found out. Was it possible that he didn't find him disgusting after all?
"Why aren't you leaving me?"-he asked quietly, smashing yet another piece of Shane's heart.
"Why would I want to leave you?"-Shane turned to him caressing his features with his loving look that made Reed look away. He was hallucinating. The look in Shane's eyes wasn't…couldn't be loving. Nobody could love him anymore.
"Because you know now."-Reed watched the change on Shane's face. His look turned from loving to angry and Reed finally saw what he expected. Shane was mad at him. And now he would yell and leave. And Reed could deal with that. He deserved that.
"So what Reed? You tell me your secret and then you make me go. Well I have news for you. I meant it when I said I loved you. I meant it when I said I'll protect you. I meant it when I said I'll never let go. But most of all I meant it when I said you are perfect. So I'm staying and you'll just have to deal with it."-Shane was breathing heavily by now and he glared at Reed forcing him to understand.
"You're not mad?"-Reed asked timidly.
"Of course I am. I'm furious."
"But why then…"
"Bambi I'm not angry with you!"
"You're not?"-Reed blinked as new tears misted his eyes at the nickname.
Shane stepped closer to him and in one swift movement picked Reed up and sat on his place pulling the small boy back into his lap again.
"Why in the world would I be mad at you Reed?"-he asked confused.
"They said I liked it…they said it was my fault and that I wanted it."-he whispered and lifted his eyes to Shane's. Shane saw that the composure once again left Reed as he became incoherent again barely audible over his sobs.
"But I swear I didn't, Shane…I'm sorry…I never wanted any of them…I've never wanted anyone until you came along…please believe me…please stay with me Shane, don't go…I didn't ask…I told them no…please…"
Shane felt his own tears fall as he held his broken but still painfully beautiful boy close and they cried together.
"I'll never leave. Reed it wasn't your fault. I know you didn't ask for it and I know you didn't like it and I most certainly don't blame you for it. I love you, I love you so much. I' never go. I'll always be here to keep you safe."-Shane lifted Reed's head gently and placed a tentative kiss on his bitten lips.
Reed's eyes went wide at this. Shane kissed him!
Shane caught up the change in Reed's posture as he realized he kissed without warning him first.
"Sorry, I just needed to feel you. I should've asked first."
"N-no…I just…you still want to kiss me?"
"Of course I do…I love kissing you…why wouldn't I?"-Shane asked sounding surprised and confused.
"I…I'm not…I'm filthy…after they…um…I showered every five minutes…but they're still there Shane…I still feel them…and I'll never be clean again for you…"
Shane gasped and started crying again. He held his boy tightly trying his best to convey everything he felt for him at that moment. His angel was the whitest of all the angels and he felt too filthy to be wanted. God, Shane wanted to find the bastards that did this and watch them as he drained their last breath out of their bodies.
"Reed…you are the most perfect thing I've ever seen. I thought that the second I saw you. Nothing has changed. You still are. And you'll always be. What they did to you was terrible and I hope they pay for it. But I never want to hear you say things like that about yourself. You're beautiful and pure and I want you just like I always have. Just like I always will."
Reed turned to him, red rimmed eyes, but now with a strange force inside of them. His usually warm brown burned with something Shane had never seen.
Reed straddled Shane in the chair and slammed their lips together with a force Shane hadn't even known Reed possessed.
"Then make them go away!"-Reed whispered against their lips and Shane inhaled sharply stealing the minty breath right out of Reeds lungs as he kissed him again.
Their tongues mingled and their hands clutched at each other, heating up the small room and making Shane's head spin as he heard the soft moans above him.
God he wanted Reed so badly.
But he knew it wasn't the time for that. Not tonight.
He gently pulled away and rested their foreheads together. He smiled at him and Reed seemed to understand that that was as far as they would go that night. He pecked his lips one more time and cradled him against his chest to keep him safe and warm.
"We'll chase them away. Together. I promise you."
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I…..SUCK!