Basics
Part one of my job involves finding last minute gifts for those of our cast who have forgotten birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines, even Christmas. These guys have taken too many chair shots to the head and really can be hopeless at these sorts of things (I'm not just talking about the men either).
Over the years my PDA has become filled with other peoples important dates much as a PA holds them for her boss. Only mine holds them for approximately 20 different people and I have to make sure that I get the right Claire or Mandy or sign the card from the right person. It's tricky but over the years I have this down to so much of an art that certain people don't even try to remember any more as they know their wife and mistress will receive the correct gift on the correct day courtesy of me.
My company credit card has no limit and I keep stringent checks on my expenditure and who it is attributed to. I have the ability to acquire most items (after all if you are willing to pay you can buy almost everything) from drugs to exclusive limited edition shoes. You name it I'll get it for you and as fast as humanly possible (even if the company jet need to cross the Atlantic to get it).
I'm the one that hires and fires ring rats and locates those lovely one-night stands that fan fiction writers love to reveal kiss and tell's about. Though if I approach you kissing and telling isn't what you'll be doing. I'll tell you more on this juicy little titbit later.
I clean up messy situations, the type that magically disappear and technically never happened. Should the Police discover they did happen, I've spent more than one night in jail after taking the fall for a mistake, only to be bailed out the following day without facing prosecution.
You see basically I'm the WWE Queen; you need me on side if you want anything or to get anywhere. Especially if you don't want to get caught.