When Jasper walked into the lunch room that day, Edward and Alice had already reserved a table and were waiting on him. Jasper took a seat next to Alice across from Edward.

"Wow, Jazzy your glowing! You have to tell me why you are so happy!" Alice exclaimed.

"Maybe he's pregnant." Edward offered.

Jasper grimaced.

"It's nothing darlin'."

They both stared at him expectantly. They weren't letting this go. Jasper thought.

"Nope," said Edward "We're not."

Well ok, if you must know, ROTC is some sort of solider class! Its so fantastic!"

"Aw, Jaz I'm so happy for you and not just because of you this time. I have my art class, you have this uh...soldiers club and Edward..."

Edward didn't have anything. He sort of liked music class, although he couldn't play any of his pieces without drawing attention to himself, but having to listen to the petty minds of teenagers day in and day out would kill anyones appreciation for the arts. Who is dating so and so blabbering about such and such.

At least he didn't have to feel their mood swings when they started their menstrual cycle. Jasper thought.

Edward blanched.

Ha! I win.

Jasper took a bite of his food and Edward and Alice almost choked. Jasper just looked up, realized what he had done, and grabbed a napkin to spit the food out into.

"Jasper? What's that about?" Edward asked.

"Nothing sir!"

"Did you just call me sir?"

"What? No sir."

"You just did it again!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Jasper your not human! Nor are you a soldier!"

"I know that!"

"Oh look theres Rose and Emmett!" Jasper called out, hoping to distract Edward from the subject. The couple had just gotten to lunch. Rosalie was wearing a cheerleading uniform that was too tight in all the right places, and Emmett was wearing a football jersey. All the boys eye's bugged out of their heads at the sight of Rose. In fact, the Cullens were all pretty sure Emmett was flexing the whole way in. They both had the biggest grins on their face's. Rose took a seat next to Edward, looking rather smug, and Emmett turned his chair around so he could rest his arms on the back.

"I'm disappointed in you Rosey" Alice cried out vehemently.

Jasper and Edward sighed with relief. They wouldn't have to be the ones who said it.

"You should have told me you were trying out! By the time I had had the vision about it, there was no way I could make it down to the gym. I would have made a great flyer! I could have at least gotten you a cute outfit to tryout in."

Edward slumped forward in his seat, his forehead to hit the table. There was no hope for humanity.

"You do realize the second Carlisle sees those outfits, that he'll make you quit the teams."

"No way, Jose! We proved we can handle this human mediocre thing."

"Oh please, you auditioned without exposing vampires to all of humankind. Great! It wont be like that at a game. Plus the way you too look is drawing unwanted attention to us."

"Whats wrong with the way I look." Rosalie interjected.

Jasper felt a sudden cut off from all emotions that he recognized as Alice going into one of her visions. It only lasted for about 10 seconds.

"Uh-oh. Trouble coming this way." Alice warned.

The short stumpy guy from Emmett's tryout, and the dirty dishwater blonde Rose remembered from earlier, were approaching the table. All eyes in the lunchroom were on them.

"So you think your all cool now because you have a spot on the team huh?"

"Well actually dude, I know I'm cooler than you because i got YOUR spot on the team."

"You didn't even have to do anything! You didn't earn it."

"Haha man...you think carrying you was nothing? I have lifted boulders lighter than you. If that isn't earning it, I don't know what is." Emmett joked.

Of course it had been easy. He was a vampire...and apparently a vampire who didn't know how to just drop it. The dirty dishwater blonde looked to Rosalie, disgust marring her features.

"Then your trampy girlfriend/incest sister thinks she can just advance to varsity? Without going through JV first! Who do you think you are!"

"Rose let out a short harsh laugh.

"We aren't blood related, and your just pissed because the best you can do is stumpy over here."

She took two steps back, agast.

The stumpy guy went to put his hand on Emmett's shoulder, probably hoping to make his threats more intimidating. Emmett grabbed his hand, twisted it backwards, and slammed it on the table. All the vampires heard a couple of bones break. Emmett quickly released him.

Emmett sighed. "Oh crap. We are so screwed when Carlisle hears about this."