Chapter Sixteen: O Is For the Only One I See
I woke up before the boys. Over a week had passed and Sam was back to being Sam. Even though we still weren't a hundred percent sure what had happened. Azazel hadn't been seen since and we had just finished another vengeful spirit job. The most common and the easiest to get done but every one still put fear in me. There was always danger involved no matter how simple it seemed.
I was awake and in the need of a little movement. I put sweats and a tank top on before grabbing my ipod as I went out the door. The town was quiet and the country was mainly plains. North Dakota wasn't known for its trees. I walked from the motel lot before starting my jog. I frowned as songs I'd never heard before kept playing but I just sighed and kept going. It wasn't bad. It was Sam's way of putting in his two sense. According to him I had spent far too much time listening to Dean's music. Something he called "mullet rock". I liked it whether he liked it or not. But I would listen to it since, truth be told, I did like it. I jogged a few miles before slowing to a walk. I was out of town where the ranches were. I stopped and watched horses in a field. That was the way of the land. There were horses and cattle everywhere. I loved it. I went to the fence and a few of the horses came over, curious to see the new girl. I smiled and stroked their necks and foreheads. It gave me the sudden need to go horseback riding. I talked to them, staying much longer then I had intended. I smiled and kissed one of their noses before making my jog back to the room. It had made me happy. When I walked into the room the boys were packing.
"Are we moving on all ready?" I asked them.
"Why should we stay?" Dean asked.
"No reason." I said as he came up to me. He kissed me before furrowing his brows. "What?"
"What is that smell?" He asked.
"Is it my yummy body odor?" I grinned at me.
"No, you kinda smell like a horse." He replied.
"Oh, that. Yeah, you're right." I told him. "I ran past a ranch and stopped to see a few horses. We should go riding."
"What? Why?" He asked.
"Because I want to." I told him frowning.
"Horses and I don't mix." He told me.
"Sammy, would you go horseback riding with me?" I asked him.
"Of course." He said kissing my cheek as he walked past me.
"You're off the hook." I told Dean as I walked into the bathroom, packing up my things.
"I didn't say I wouldn't. I just didn't think you were serious." Dean said following me.
"Oh bull crap. You know I'm serious. You just don't want to and that's fine." I smiled and kissed him. "You don't have to do everything with me. I'd like it that way but I know it can't be. Don't worry about it."
"I'll go." He told me.
"Are you jealous of your brother because he said he'd go?" I grinned at him with narrowed eyes.
He scoffed at me, "No."
I laughed and put my hands on his chest. "Will you do something for me?" I asked him.
"Name it." He said as he pulled me against him.
"Let's stay one more day. I want to share one day that is completely about me and you. I want to worry about nothing more then having a fun day with you. No demons. No guns. Just me and you on horseback in the warmth of North Dakota." I told him.
He just looked at me, moving the hair from my face. He sighed and kissed my deeply. "Okay." He said and smiled.
"Really?" I smiled up at him.
"Really." He smiled and kissed me passionately, pushing me against the wall.
I laughed and wrapped my arms around him. My hands feeling his muscles move along his shoulder blades. I gripped him harder as his hand moved to my thigh. I lifted my leg resting it against his hip. He leaned against me as our mouths never ceased. It was really getting hot and heavy when Dean suddenly released me, jumping. I frowned as I watched him pull out his phone. He was frowning as well and he answered it. He said Bobby's name and I smiled at him before going out into the main room.
"Hey, stop packing." I told Sam.
"What, why?" He asked.
"We're staying one more day." I replied.
"What for?" He asked.
"Because I am going to force my fiancé to take a day out of our busy schedule to spend a day with his betrothed." I told him. "We haven't had a normal day together for a while and I am going to get him on a horse."
Sam just smiled at me. "Good for you."
"Thank you." I said and hugged him. "And you can do whatever it is that you do." I smiled at him.
"Yeah." He replied.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"Of course." He said and sat on the bed. I sat next to him and raised my brow. "Okay, so I might be a little lonely."
"You'll find someone new. I know you will." I said taking his hand. "And all you have to do is say that we're bothering you and we'll tone it down. We spend far too much time together to not be happy together. You're not the third wheel and I don't want you to feel like you are." He just laughed at me. "What?" I frowned.
"Evy, you are a wonderful person but I am the third wheel whether you like it or not." He smiled.
"Well, it's not from a lack of trying." I told him sadly.
"You try too hard." He told me.
"Yeah, well, part of me still feels bad about what happened at Katy's. I shouldn't bring it up but it's kind of stayed with me." I confided.
"Don't worry about it." Sam said putting his arm across my shoulders.
"You sure. Because I do." I said looking at him.
"I know you do. You worry about everything. I bet even in heaven you worried just as much as you do now, if not more." He smiled kissing my forehead. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm really okay and that's the way it is. Remember, I am very happy for you and my brother. Go have your day and I'll be just fine right here."
"I love you." I smiled at him.
"Love you too."
I smiled at him before turning to Dean who was walking toward us. He stepped in front of us. He was looking at the phone that was still in his hands. I sighed and stood up.
"No extra day?" I asked him.
"Yeah, we can stay." He told me. But his tone told me something different.
"What is it?" Sam asked him.
"Well, it turns out that there may be a demon near here." He told me.
"Seriously?" I asked him.
"Yeah, it's in a town about fifty miles from here. We'll still be in the state but we should head out." He told us.
"Okay." I smiled at him and turned to my things.
"Sorry." Dean said coming to my side.
"It's fine." I said turning to him. I happened to be folding one of his shirts.
"I can do that you know." He smirked at me.
I grinned and kissed him, leaning into him. "I love you."
"Love you too." He smiled before turning to his things. "See, this is why I love you. You understand that the job needs to come first. Before anything personal like an outing." He said smiling at me. I just shook my head and smiled at him. He was off the hook for now.
I looked out the window as we drove. I understood all right, but that wasn't the point. I wanted to be able to spend a bit of quality time with my fiancé. We were anything but a normal couple but every once in a while I would like to be able to spend a little "normal" time with him. I didn't think it was too much to ask. I was quiet but the boys weren't saying a lot either. When we finally got to town I stayed in the car while they talked to the townsfolk. I took a deep breath and rested my head in my hand. I looked out the window and my jaw practically dropped. I got out and watched as a large black horse walked through the street. I smiled and walked after it. It went down an alley. I followed it but its hoof beats soon faded and I lost sight and sound of it.
"Hmph." I frowned and listened. "That was weird."
I turned and went back to the car. Dean and Sam were leaning against the car. I walked up to them and smiled. They just looked at me.
"Boy, we're all happy as clams aren't we?" I told them with a rather fake smile. I sighed and crossed my arms. "What is it?" I frowned. "What did I do now? Why are the two of you looking at me like that? I just want to be happy but the more time goes on the more we get pulled into this life from hell and we can't get out of it. Just tell me what I did."
"You didn't do anything." Dean stated.
"Then what the hell is it?" I asked him.
"There was another death." Sam told me.
"Another death? Don't you mean murder?" I asked.
"They can't call it that." Dean stated. "There is no proof of murder but all three of them died the same way."
"And how is that?" I asked him frowning.
"Trampled, by a horse." Sam told me. "That's what they think anyway."
"Hmph." I said frowned and turned back to the alley. "No witnesses?"
"None." Dean told me.
"But that's not it." Sam told me. "There have also been people who have said that a horse told them their future."
"What?" I frowned at him. "Yay."
"Uh-huh." Dean said and put out his hand to me.
I took it and he pulled me against him. "Now do you want to explain all that stuff you just said?"
I felt my face flush. "No."
"Do it anyway." He told me.
"Walk with me?" I asked him.
He nodded and took my hand as we walked away from Sam. We walked a good block before I said anything. "I'm just nervous is all. Ever since you proposed I've been terrified of losing you. Of the job getting the better of us. Being pulled in any direction then the one I want to be going. And I feel that if it does fall apart that it's going to be my fault. That I'll be the one to make it break. Make you not want me anymore." He stopped and frowned at me. I averted my eyes. "Yes, I understand that I am being completely ridiculous. I'm just very insecure right now." I finished and attempted to keep walking.
Dean stopped me and put his hand on my cheek. I looked up at him. He buried his fingers in my hair and took a step toward me. I leaned against him, my hands on his chest. He put his face down to mine. I waited for him to kiss me but he didn't. I could feel his breath on my face, his alluring cologne filling my nostrils. My breath caught as my eyes locked onto his. He spoke then. Only he spoke softly and in a way he had never spoke to me before. It made my knees go weak.
"There is not a moment that goes by where I don't want you. You are all I think about. Even when you're driving me crazy. I may not say it enough but you are my life now. I am going to spend the rest of my life with you. A long life of me and you. I love you. You have me body and soul. Nothing will ever be able to change that. You've got me for life, even longer if possible." He said and his lips gently graced mine before he pulled me into a fierce kiss that lasted the longest it ever had before. It was the perfect moment.
"Wow…" I said airily when he finally pulled away from me.
He just laughed. "I guess that says something if I can still 'wow' you." He smiled.
"You wow me every day." I smiled at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"You wow me every day too." He said sweetly and kissed me again.
"Really?" I grinned at him. He nodded. "I have to say that I'm surprised to hear you say all this." I told him.
"Why?" He frowned.
"Because you're not the sentimental type. You can be, you just showed me that, but usually you're not that sentimental." I replied.
"Yeah, well, every once in a while I figure you want to hear those sorts of things." He told me.
"I do. It was very refreshing." I smiled.
"I love you and I don't tell you that enough." He told me.
"It's not just the words I need to hear." I told him. "You show it to me every day. In all sorts of ways. That counts just as much as hearing you say it." I said and kissed him passionately. "I love you too." I told him and kissed him again.
We didn't stop until we heard something odd. We looked at each other before the same black horse I had seen walked from one alley, moving right past us, disappearing down the next.
"That was weird right?" I asked him.
"Uh-huh." He frowned and looked at me.
"Wanna go follow it?" I smirked at him.
He just smiled before we ran down the alley. The horse was already at the end of it. We followed it for several blocks before finally losing it. It was fun all the same but we went back to Sam who was sleeping in the impala. I slid into the back while Dean took shotgun. We explained what we saw to Sam on the way to the hotel. We brainstormed but came up pretty much empty handed. It wasn't until we were in the room with our take out that I remembered something.
"Hand me Dad's journal." I told Dean.
Dean reached for it before both of them stopped and looked at me. I had never called John Dad before. It was weird. I had never thought of him as my father. There was more to our relationship then just a father-daughter thing. It was more complicated then that. Or…it was more complicated. I frowned and thought a moment. It was a sort of revelation. He had turned into my father rather then my companion and friend. He was now more then all that. I was engaged to his son so it was natural but for the word to come out of my mouth was something.
"Huh…Dad…" I said and ran my fingers through my hair. "Anyway, Dean, the journal." I said holding my hand out to him. He nodded and handed it to me. "I remember reading something in here. Something that's in the back of my mind. I remember it because it mentioned a horse."
"What is it with you and horses all of a sudden?" Dean asked.
"It's not all of a sudden. I've liked horses forever. I just don't have a lot of experience with them and because of what we do it's kind of out of the picture right now." I told him as I flipped through the pages. "Ah, here it is." I said and smiled at them. "Puca: May appear as a variety of animals, always dark in color. Most often a horse who will give un-expecting humans a wild ride. Can speak and if it takes a liking to a person, it will give him advice – especially on November 1st. Crops left in the field after this date are considered to belong to it, as it is always hungry. If not fed, its temperament can turn more dangerous." I finished and looked at them. "I think this is what we're dealing with." I told them.
"So it's kind of like a God?" Dean asked.
"It doesn't really say." I told him. "It could be. But how do we get rid of it. The horse appears to have trampled a few people but we're not even sure about that. But if it can talk maybe we can learn something from it."
"You want to learn from a demon horse?" He told me with raised brows.
I frowned at him and cocked my head. "I'm curious. Aren't you?" I asked him.
"Not enough to want to have a chat with it." He told me. I sighed and got off of the bed as I rolled my eyes at him. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked.
"I'm going to go see if it'll come to me." I told him. "I'm curious and if this is the closest I'm going to get to a horse for a while I'm going to make the most of it."
"And what if it takes you for a "wild ride" instead?" He asked standing.
"I think I can take care of myself." I smiled at him.
"That's not the point." Dean told me.
"You and your "points" never make any sense." I smiled at him.
"You're being difficult." He said walking over to me.
I sighed and put my hands on his chest as I leaned into him. "Baby, I'm not one to sit around. I like to get the job done and if it takes talking to a horse or going for a ride I'll do it." I told him softly. My mind went back to what I remembered was carved into my headstone. "But you know that." I told him. He just looked at me and nodded.
"You're not going alone." He told me.
"Yes, I am. You two do a little internet search to see if it all checks out and I'm going to make a friend. I'll pick up a few apples and some sugar cubes and see if I happen to find it. Or if it finds me. What can it hurt?" I asked, only that was the wrong question.
"It can hurt you. We don't know what it's capable of. We don't know if the "wild ride" is one that leads to your death. I'm not going to let that happen." He said grabbing my arms.
"Dean, I'm not going to let that happen either." I said putting my hands on his forearms. "I love you." I told him softly. "I love you. I would never put you through the pain I did before or any at all. But a job is a job. We both know this. Danger lies with each and every one of them. But I'm not going to let anyone else get hurt. Not if I can do something about it." He nodded and looked at his feet, letting me go. "Hey…" I said put my hand on his face, making him look at me. "I'm going to be fine." I smiled. "I'm just a phone call away. I'll be here in an instant. But it's okay. You can trust me." I told him. He nodded again. "I love you." I smiled and kissed him deeply.
"Be careful." He told me.
"I will." I said and walked toward the door.
"Hey…" He said gently. I stopped and looked at him. "Love you too." He said and smiled.
I smiled and winked at him before going out the door.
I tossed the apple into the air, whistling as I walked through the outskirts of town. It had been nearly an hour but I had yet to see any sign of a black horse. The streets were quiet and the trees to the left were as well. I was just pulling out my phone to call Dean when a voice caught my ear.
"Is that for me?" A male voice asked.
I froze before turning my gaze to the woods. A smile crossed my face and I turned toward the black horse that was standing just inside the wood. I walked over to it, tossing the apple.
"I don't know. Do you want it?" I asked it.
"The question is…what do you want?" He countered.
"If I give you the apple will you give me advice?" I asked him.
"Perhaps." He said eyeing me.
I heard the voice and watched his mouth but it appeared that his mouth didn't move while he spoke. It struck my curiosity. I eyed him back before holding the apple out to him. He smelled it before taking a nibble. I smiled and broke it in half before feeding him the pieces. I took another from my bag and held it out to him. His teeth were just about to grab it when I pulled it away.
"So, how many apples does it take to get advice from you?" I smiled at him.
A chuckle came from his throat and he put his nose down and nudged me hard. "Maybe a few." He replied. I handed him two more before eyeing him. "I smell sugar." He told me.
I smiled and gave him a few cubes of sugar before asking, "So…?"
"Do you want to go for a ride?" He asked.
"Is this one of those wild rides that ends with me dead?" I asked him.
"No." The horse stated and turned to the side.
"Then how can I refuse?" I replied with a smile on my face.
I ran to it, jumping onto his back. I held tight with my knees and a moment later he turned and started to move through the trees. He moved into a steady trot before a full out canter. It was a 'wild ride' but a good one. It had been so long since I'd been on a horse. It was exhilarating and filled a craving I had had for a long time now. After a short while he slowed to a walk and I listened to the night sounds.
"What sort of advice are you looking for?" The horse finally asked.
"Relationship advice." I stated.
"There's a ring on your finger. Did you want advice on flowers?" The horse asked sarcastically.
"You know, I was thinking that you'd be all mystic and straightforward. Turns out that you're just like everyone else, sarcastic and confusing."
"Does that bother you?" He asked.
"No." I replied. "And I'm a hunter."
He jerked to a stop. "I'm sorry?"
"I'm not going to hurt you." I told him. He didn't move. "If I give you some more sugar will that make it better?" I asked him.
"And an apple."
I smiled and slid from his back. I handed him the food and stroked his neck. "I'm sorry if I upset you." I told him. "But that's part of my dilemma. I'm engaged to a hunter. I am a hunter. I am terrified of losing him. I want a life with him but it's hard to do when you do what we do. I want to know if this is the right thing to do. I want to call him my husband but I don't want to be widowed at thirty." I blurted out.
"Do you love him?" He asked.
"Of course I do."
"Do you truly love him? Would you die for him?" He asked.
"Yes." I said without hesitation.
"Do you know how rare that is?" He asked. "Do you know how many people dream of a love that strong?" I just looked at him. "Marry him, have a happy life. No matter how long or short it turns out to be."
"That's what I thought." I smiled and pushed a few sugar cubes around in my hand.
"Anything else?" He asked.
"What do you know about visions and telekinesis?" I asked him.
He looked thoughtful, as thoughtful as a horse can look, before looking at me. It looked like he was just about to respond when I heard rustling. I turned toward the sound and a second later Dean came running from the trees and threw himself up onto the horses back.
"No!" I yelled as the horse neighed angrily. He reared before taking off through the woods. "Dean!" I yelled taking off after him.
My breathing was labored as I continued to try and follow them as closely as possible. When my vision started to go black I stopped to catch my breath. I fell to my knees, my legs shaking. They were out of site. Standing, I pushed off against the tree and started out after them again. I pulled my phone out and dialed Sam.
"Where are you?" I asked his voicemail. "Don't do anything stupid. The horse isn't evil and your stupid brother is on top of it." I told him before hanging up.
Running was becoming difficult and I was just about to stop when I heard the horse's heavy breathing. I rushed forward to see Dean fighting with it as he tried to buck him off. Then I noticed Sam a few yards away, a shotgun pointed at the horse. I moved faster. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a lake come into view. Water was a source of panic for me and Dean was struggling with a big horse at the top of an embankment leading down to it.
"Are you stupid?" I yelled at I moved faster. "Sam! Don't! He'll roll!"
I was just about to them when the gun shot rang. Just like I had thought he would, the horse fell to the side, rolling down into the water taking Dean with him. I didn't hesitate as I ran to the embankment and slid down it into the water. The horse was struggling but sinking quickly. I couldn't see Dean. Panic started to seep into me, but as the horse went under I saw Dean's hand touching the surface. I swam the few feet grabbing him quickly. When I rolled him into my arms he was unconscious. I put my arm around him and brought him back to shore. There was a shallow area by a small sandy space just a yard or so further. It would take too long to get him up the embankment. I pulled him up onto the sand laying him onto his back.
"Dean?" I asked before placing my ear next to his mouth. I tilted his head back, pinching his nose before breathing into him. I quickly gave him several breaths before he started to cough up water. "Thank God." I said as I turned him to let the water pour from his mouth. "Are you okay?" I asked him as I rolled him back. He furrowed his brows before opening his eyes. "Are you?"
He nodded, "Yeah."
"Okay." I said as I lifted his torso and slid behind him. I leaned him back against me, running my fingers through his hair with one hand, holding him against me with my other arm across his chest. "You can't do that." I told him, my voice cracking. "You can't do that." I repeated in a whisper.
"I'm okay." Dean replied, his voice slightly scratchy.
It was surprising as to how fast the tears came. I buried my face in his neck and cried. His hand moved to the back of my head. He turned his head and kissed my hair, telling me that it was okay. It just seemed worse somehow. We were used to the danger. Used to something happening, but ever since coming back every time something happened sent me into a panic. I didn't want to live if he wasn't with me. I didn't want to live if Sam wasn't here. I didn't want to leave them again. I was becoming too paranoid but this was closer then most. For more then a moment he wasn't breathing. That led to leaving me. After my continued confusion over our relationship this was not what I needed. A moment later Sam came splashing over to us. I raised my head and looked at him. He saw my crying and for a moment I could see the panic in his face. I wiped the tears away as Sam knelt in front of his brother.
"I'm okay." Dean said but stayed against me.
"He wasn't breathing." I chocked out.
Sam looked at me sadly before putting his arm out to his brother. "Come on."
Dean nodded and grabbed his brother's hand. Sam hoisted him to his feet and brushed off his back. I still was kneeling on the ground. Sam put his hand out to me but I put my hand up. "Just…give me a minute."
Dean looked at Sam who nodded and walked away. He knelt in front of me, taking my hands in his. "It's okay." He said kissing my forehead.
I shook my head as a few stray tears fell. "I don't want to be afraid like that. I don't want to lose you, Dean." I said looking at him. "I want to marry you. More then anything I want to be your wife. You asked me and I said yes. But I don't want to be a widow. I can't stand the thought of losing you especially if we get married and start a life. What if I get pregnant and then you die? I am so scared. So scared…" I said and lowered my eyes.
"You want me to be a dad?" He asked with raised brows.
I looked at him and laughed. "I'm serious." I said hitting his chest lightly.
"You don't have to worry." He said and kissed me gently. "I don't ever plan on leaving you if I can help it."
"What about what just happened?" I asked.
"I will admit that that may have been a stupid move."
"You think?" I frowned at him.
"I have you to take care of me. I'm not too worried just yet." He smiled and kissed me again.
"What if I'm not there? What if you go off and do something stupid without me and something like this happens and I'm not there to help you?" I asked him.
"You're stuck with me, baby. I'm not going anywhere without you." He said softly.
"Well that's true." I smiled. "As long as you're not stupid."
He smiled and put his hand on my cheek, pulling my face to his. He kissed me passionately, pulling me against him.
"You want some sex on the beach?" He grinned.
I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Tell me you love me." I whispered to him.
"I…love…you." He said and kissed me deeply. "I love you, Evy Connors. I love you more then you'll ever know."
"Is that so?" I smiled. "Because I could say the same to you."
"But I know how much you love me." He told me.
"And how is that?" I asked.
"You died for me once." He said softly.
"And I'd do it again." I whispered to him.
"It's my turn." He whispered and kissed me repeatedly.
It felt good to get a few of my concerns off of my chest knowing that he wasn't being careless. Everyone makes mistakes and even though he seemed to make more then anyone, I loved him and part of me was calmed by his words. I was thinking too much about the future. I had to live in the now. I had to take each day and just live. I had my man. I had my Sammy. We had the job. Together we can do anything. Panic gone. Happiness here.