I don't know why I had done it. The word 'Papa' seemed almost natural to say now. Due to this, it was what he was now called to me. To me and me alone.
"You needn't worry," he kept telling me as I felt the ground move beneath me.
"I must," I said warily. He did not understand the fact that the earth moved. Yet all Papa did was attempt to soothe me. I was glad of his attempts, but none seemed to break the shelter I had built inside my mind.
"The journey is almost over," he said repeatedly, rocking my back and forth in his arms. "Imagine it," he asked of me quietly. "You shan't have a thing to fret about once we leave. When the ground stops moving, everything will."
"The only thing worse than the ground moving is nothing moving at all," I said.
"I beg to differ."
"Papa, you then must have felt the earth stand still."
"The day you were born," he said frankly. "No other point in life can be more blissful."
"I may never have children." My lips still quivered as I said it. "How else may I enjoy the world's stillness."
"It is no father's wish for her child to have to speak in such a pitiful way," Papa told me. "I do not wish for you to do so either."
There was silence between us, and the only sound to be heard was the rushing of the water underneath the ship. I closed my eyes tightly, listening only to the sound rather than feeling the motion. A sudden spark lit in my head, and I quickly pulled at Papa's sleeve.
"I did not tell you!"
"Tell me what, Johanna?"
"My book," I said in earnest. Papa looked at me for a second, and then smiled slightly.
"Oh, yes, I had…utterly forgotten."
In my haste, I quickly started to babble out the tale I had read. As I recalled, it was almost as if I was reading it for the first time. There was no possible word to describe what was flying through my mind. Perhaps a very little was actually being said there, but the excitement was there nonetheless.
As I spoke, I watched Papa. He himself seemed far off. His usually glassy eyes were not even directed towards me, but instead towards the sea. I found no interest there, and so did not follow his gaze. I was also too enveloped in my story that I could not catch his attention.
"It all sounds very entertaining," Papa said the moment I had taken breath after the tale
"It is!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands. Papa nodded, and then looked over my shoulder.
"You seem to have forgotten where we are, Johanna."
"We're on a ship," I said defiantly.
"True. Yet, you see, you have forgotten we have stopped."
I jumped to my feet, leaning over the edge of the ship. Papa wrapped his arms around my waist firmly, resting his chin on the top of my head. I was far too excited to feel his embrace. There was far too much in front of me.
There was still confusion as to where I was, though. Not that I could say I cared. I was still in blissful realisation that we had stopped moving, and finally the earth had returned to me. It was not at all as Papa had said it would be. I still felt the movement around me, but none of it frightened me.
In fact, I was far too dizzy for fear.
Papa called for Mrs Lovett and the little boy Toby, then gripped my arm as he guided us all off the boat.
"Where are we going, Papa?" I asked.
"I suppose I don't know," he said in an oddly nervous voice. When I say it was odd, I mean that it was not at all nervous at all. "We shall find somewhere soon enough."
"There'll only be a flat around the corner, love," said Mrs Lovett, moving towards Papa. I wrinkled my nose at her. Although the vapours had long since abandoned her, I still could swear I smelt that death upon her when she moved. I held Papa's arm tightly, almost as if claiming my property. I suppose I was. He was mine, after all.
In an almost fleeing fashion, Papa took us through the streets, his head spinning around to see where we may rest our heads.
At last, a small place was found. I do not remember Papa ever taking money with him, but somehow he had managed to pay for a room for us. It was quite small, and so Papa's intriguing manner of sleeping came in useful.
I stayed awake long after Mrs Lovett had drifted to sleep, and could not tell whether Toby had started to sleep or not. For a while he had stared at Papa, fixated. Perhaps he admired Papa as much as I did.
When finally Toby stopped his staring, I smiled at Papa, who had been watching me for some time. His lip curled up in a smile, although it was quite half-hearted.
"Is this our new home?" My voice almost echoed, although no one stirred in the silence.
"I shall find us somewhere more suitable tomorrow morn."
"But it's cosy here," I said happily, looking around me. True, I did not like it, but it was cosy. I was simply stating fact.
"You shan't have to sleep by Mrs Lovett's crib if we find a house," he pointed out.
"That may be worth while."
"Johanna, you must sleep now, at least. It is far too late for you to be fussing."
I pulled at a strand of my hair.
"I'm not fussing."
"You might as well be if you are not going to sleep."
I shook my head.
"What point is there in sleeping if I am just going to wake tomorrow?"
He smiled genuinely for a moment, and then walked to my side. Papa placed his two hands on my shoulders, pushing my gently so my head hit the pillow. I giggled, forgetting completely why I had been vexed.
"Now sleep," Papa said firmly. With a last smile, I closed my eyes, and slumber came upon me.
The very next thing I knew, Mrs Lovett was watching me as my eyes opened.
"Yeh're up, then, love!"
I blinked twice, and then sat up sharply.
"Where's Papa?"
"Don't worry, love, 'e won't be long."
"Where is he?"
Mrs Lovett shifted slightly in her seat, holding her hands up in front of her as if I were a wild animal. I uttered a snarl as if I were.
"Mrs Lovett!"
"'e'll be back in a tick, love. 'e's just gone to find us somewhere else. Somewhere to live."
"You're hiding something," I said shakily. "Why didn't you say it straight away?"
"To be honest, love, yeh kind of took me by surprise."
"Surprise?!"
At that moment, the door opened. I flew across the room into Papa's arms.
"What on earth is the matter?" he asked, embracing me tightly.
"Mrs Lovett," I whispered, not even able to say anything else. Papa's grip became slightly firmer, and he glared at Mrs Lovett over my shoulder.
"What did you do to her?"
"Nothing, love, I swear. She only just woke up, and she was asking for yeh. Said exactly where yeh were to 'er."
"You said nothing until I had long become vexed," I said as she finished. Papa patted my back, hushing me.
"Johanna, you need not worry any longer."
"Yeh found a house?" Mrs Lovett asked excitedly.
"Yes," he answered, although directing himself at me rather than Mrs Lovett. "The moment you are prepared, we shall be gone."
I smiled cheerfully, nodding.
"I'm ready now, Papa!" I cheered, holding him tightly. He chuckled lowly, then unleashed me.
"Then it is prepared. By tonight, we shall have a home."
