Disclaimer: Nothing from Supernatural is mine. I wish though... hehehe
A/N: Next! I hope you all are liking this story. If so, a review every now and then would be most appreciated. =] Either way, though, I'll keep posting. I still love it. Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-one: What Is 'Safe'?
Waiting for the doctor to come in I happily moved my hand over my stomach, softly singing Hey Jude. Grinning ear to ear I couldn't wait for today. Today was ultrasound day. The first time I was going to be able to hear the heartbeat.
It was like no other feeling in the world. It felt like I was floating on a cloud. I couldn't help the tears that came to my eyes. It was just too much. I laughed when the doctor smiled at me. She had been right when she said the gel would be cold but being able to hear not only my heartbeat but the heartbeat of my baby was unreal. Not only that but I could see the baby on the screen. He didn't look like much but he was there. My baby was there.
"Can I get a picture?" I asked her.
"Of course." Dr. Malone told me. "I'm sorry your fiancé couldn't be here for this." She smiled.
"Me too. But he's working. I'll bring him a picture and then he'll have to make it up to me." I grinned at her. She laughed. "I talked to your previous doctor but I'm just curious about this scar here." She said pointing out the scar from my near fatal stabbing.
"Not a lot to say really. I got into a bit of trouble and ended up finding the pointy edge of a knife." I told her casually.
"You seem pretty calm about it." She frowned.
"I find that dwelling on the past only makes living in the future more difficult. What's done is done. I can't change it so I'm just moving on." I told her.
Dr. Malone smiled at me. "I guess that's a pretty good philosophy."
"I'd like to think so."
"All right. Your baby is strong and healthy. You're free to go." She said and pushed her chair back.
"Thank you very much." I said swinging out of the chair. "I really appreciate you seeing me."
"Don't think twice about it. I love pregnant women." She grinned.
I laughed and shook her hand before leaving the clinic. I had a skip in my step as I walked back to the motel, humming the whole way. When I opened the door Dean was happily waiting for me.
"You're back." I smiled at him.
"How was it?" He asked. He was trying to be suave about it but I could tell he was concerned.
I frowned at him, kissing him sweetly. "The baby is strong and healthy." I smiled and kissed him again. "Stop wearing the concerned face. I told you. I'm taking care of myself and our baby. Don't worry." I said walking around him. "Hey, Sam." I said kissing his cheek as I walked by him. He smiled at me. "Is there any left over Chinese?" I asked them.
"Hungry?" Dean asked with raised brows.
"When am I not hungry?" I smirked at him.
"I'll go get you some." Dean said grabbing his coat.
"I'll go with you." I told him.
"You don't have to." He replied.
"Baby…" I said sadly. "You don't want me to go with you?"
"It's not that." He said putting his hands on my arms. I felt tears come to my eyes. "Honey, don't do that."
"I'm sorry, I can't help it." I told him.
"Come on, let's go." He said and took my hand.
I nodded as I wiped the tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry, you know I don't mean to try and pull the crying thing on you." I told him as we walked from the room.
"I know." He said kissing my hair. "It's okay. I can take it."
I smiled at him. "I have to admit the ups and downs with these damn hormones are going to be the death of me."
"You'll be okay." He said and kissed me.
It was a nice walk. It was intimate and normal. They had finished the vengeful spirit gig and now we were free until we found the next job. It was nice to be able to just take a walk with Dean without it being to look for the next demon. By the time we got to the Chinese restaurant I wasn't in the mood for Chinese anymore. Instead I wanted the freshest fruit I could find. We found a grocery store and I was happily eating a container of mixed fruit when I remembered the picture in my pocket.
"I nearly forgot." I said pulling it out. "Here's the first picture of our baby." I grinned at him.
"Wow." He said looking at it. "So is it a boy or a girl?" He asked.
I grinned at him. "Just a little too early to tell. It'll be a few more weeks." I told him. "But it's healthy and strong. That's all that I care about. It's probably a good thing I wanted fruit and not Chinese." I smiled at him.
"Have I told you 'I love you' yet today?" He asked. I shook my head. "I love you."
"Love you too." I said and kissed him deeply.
We talked about the baby until we got back to the hotel. Throwing names back and forth. Trying to decide what to do when it came. Do we settle for a little while or do we keep on fighting? He tried to convince me to go stay with someone. He would be happy if it were Ellen. Anyone who wasn't in the thick of it all the time. I understood where he was coming from but I needed to be with him. He needed to be with me. I couldn't raise the baby on my own and it would need its mother and its father. I won that battle but there was many more to come. Not only in the literal sense. It was already getting late when the hotel came into view. We were all restless, ending up at the bar for a while. I had a nice cold bottle of water while the boys had a nice refreshing beer. I was slightly jealous but it was for the best. I wasn't about to risk my baby's health just for a beer.
"The mic is free." Dean told me.
"I don't feel much like singing." I told him.
"Since when?" Dean frowned at me. "You're always singing something. I hear you all the time. Singing to the baby."
I felt my face flush. "Yeah, I guess I do."
"You know I love hearing you sing." He told me.
"You've never told me that before." I told him with a raised brow.
"Well, I'm telling you now." He smiled.
"You know I love hearing you sing too." I grinned, resting my chin on my palm.
"Fine." He said finishing his beer before standing up. "The guy before me did a horrible job. I can't sound any worse."
"You go baby." I grinned at him.
He just shook his head as he told the DJ what song to play. I couldn't help but smile and stare as he started to sing. I was surprised at what song he sang and I felt the tears in my eyes. It was a ballad and he never sang ballads. The song may not have fit his voice perfectly but it touched me more then I could say. He sang Survivor's The Search is Over. It was sweet and he put his heart into it. In the time I'd known him he'd calmed down. He wasn't so quick to shoot. At least that's how I felt. I know that since John died he had been off. Sam could see more then me. I wasn't sure if that was because I was ignoring it or if it was something else. Either way we were doing well right now and I didn't want to jeopardize that. When he was done he came down and kissed me deeply.
"Your turn." He smiled and kissed me again.
"I don't know if I could beat that." I smiled back.
"You can try."
I laughed and stood up. I went to the DJ and looked through his songs. I wasn't sure what I was looking for but I wanted something good. Moving away from the classics I sang Anna Nalick's Forever Love. It was sweet and it fit the mood I was in. We didn't stay as long as we may have. I got tired faster and I was ready for bed relatively early. The boys didn't mind and I was happy to finally be in bed.
Sam and Dean were sitting in a lab. They were making something. Alcohol being poured into other bottles, cloth sticking out of the tops of them. They were explosives of some sort. Sam asked Dean 'why' but Dean simply asked for more alcohol. Sam didn't argue but went into an attached room to get more bottles of alcohol. There was a young blond woman in the room as well. Her name was Pamela. He asked her how she was holding up. She seemed detached as she went to the door, closing and locking it. Sam turned and was talking with her. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Only in the next moment she seemed to change and she hit Sam, sending him down onto his back. She grabbed a scalpel blade and straddled him. She used the scalpel and cut Sam's chest. She then in turn cut her own hand and placed it over Sam's wound. The door burst open and Dean let loose several shots, killing her.
The pain stopped in my head but continued in my stomach. I shot up, breathing hard. I looked over to see Sam still sleeping but Dean wasn't in the room. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. My hand remained on my stomach. The pain dulled and I waited to feel the baby move. After what felt like forever I finally did feel him move. I took several deep breaths as I tried to quiet my shaking. Tears were starting to spill over. Not only was I worried about my baby but I was worried about Sam. He was in trouble. I didn't know what exactly was going on but he needed me. I was still in the bathroom when I heard the door open. It took only a moment for Dean to come in and it was obvious that something was wrong.
"What is it?" He asked, panic in his voice.
I was still clutching my stomach. "I had a vision." I told him.
"The baby?" He asked.
"He's fine. I think he's fine. I'll go to the doctor tomorrow to make sure. It just hurt. It didn't hurt my head as much as it did my stomach. I don't know if the baby saw it too. It just felt weird." I told him. "But I'm not as concerned about the baby as I am for Sam." I said and finally looked at him.
"What did you see?" He asked.
"I don't know where it was but you and Sam were making homemade explosives. You were in some lab. He went to get more alcohol and was attacked by a woman. She cut his chest before cutting her palm and placing it over his wound. Then you burst in and shot her to death." I told him. "I don't know what it means exactly but it can't be good."
"It'll be okay. We'll figure it out." He said walking up to me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. He was gentle but I could feel the tenseness in his body. When I was calm enough to lay back down we left the bathroom. Only when the room came into view Sam was sitting up after falling to the floor. I was surprised that we hadn't heard him. Dean and I froze.
"Sam?" Dean said alarm in his voice. I couldn't move. Dean went to his brother. "What did you see?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He had seen Dean load his gun before going to another room. Sam told us how he saw a man tied to a chair. He was upset. Dean came in and the man started to cry. He kept repeating that it wasn't in him. Dean apologized before wasting him. I looked at Dean but he just gave me a subtle shake of his head. I nodded and put my hands on my stomach.
"What is it?" Sam asked.
"It's nothing." I told him. "I'm just worried about what you saw."
"It'll be okay. We'll figure it out." Sam told me.
"I know we will." I smiled.
We immediately packed and we were on the road again. Sam had seen the location in his vision. We were going to Rivergrove, Oregon. Dean questioned his brother on the way. How he knew where is was. Repeating what he had seen. It was too much of a coincidence for it not to mean something. This was something big if both Sam and I had a vision of the same event. He had mentioned a blond woman and the way he described her was the same as what I had seen. I was worried. I didn't want anything to happen to Sam. I didn't want Dean killing an innocent man. I didn't want a lot of things but what I did want…what I did want was for all of us to be safe. I wanted us to be safe and secure in this uncertain world. If not for Dean's sake or for Sammy's then for my baby's.
"What are we going to do?" I asked Dean when we had made a pit stop. Sam was inside the gas station.
"I'm going to keep you safe." He told me. I just frowned at him. "I think you should sit this one out."
"Where am I going to go?" I asked him. "I'm not going to sit in some dingy hotel room while you and Sam go deal with this. Sam needs me."
"No. He needs you gone. Just like I do." He told me.
"Dean, baby, come on. You can't just brush me off when the going gets tough. We're in this together." I told him. I was pissed. This was becoming too typical.
"Please, Evy, I can't handle this with Sam if you're there. What if something happened?" He said, pain in his eyes. "I can't be worried about you and you need to worry about our baby. You need to get checked out and make sure he's okay." I sighed and was going to argue but he stopped me. "You are the most important thing to me. You, Sam, our baby…" He said putting his hand on my cheek. "I need you to be safe."
"And how am I supposed to be safe away from you?" I asked him. "What happened to not going anywhere without me? What if you do something stupid? What if something happens and I'm not there to save you?" I said as tears ran down my cheeks. "What am I going to do if something happens to you?"
He kissed me passionately. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I'm going to take care of Sammy and you need to take care of you and the baby. You won't be alone."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
Just then a car pulled up next to the impala. I frowned and watched as Bobby got out of the car. Dean went up to him, shaking his hand. "Thank you for coming, Bobby." Dean said gratefully.
"How could I say 'no'?" He said and looked at me. "Hi, Evy."
"Hi, Bobby." I smiled at him.
"Here…" Dean said taking my bag from the car.
"Dean…" I told him sternly. "I don't like this." I said grabbing his jacket. "You can't leave me." I told him as my eyes filled with tears.
"Baby, don't do the crying thing." He frowned sadly.
"You're leaving me behind while you go to face something horrible. I think I'm allowed to do the crying thing." I told him as they spilled over. "This is ridiculous Dean. You can't leave me behind. We're supposed to be doing this together."
He sighed and wiped the tears off of my cheeks. He kissed me passionately again before giving me a series of shorter ones. "I love you. I'll call you as often as I can."
"What if you don't call?" I asked him.
"Maybe I won't have any service." He told me.
"Dean, I don't like this." I told him as fresh tears came to my eyes.
"You're going to be safe. I promise you that. Sam and I will come get you as soon as it's over."
"But what if something goes wrong?" I asked. "I'm scared. I don't like being apart from you."
"You'll be with Bobby. He's going to take you to the Roadhouse." He told me. "We have a plan. There you'll have hunters surrounding you. Bobby and Ellen will keep you safe. I'll come for you. I promise you that I'll come. Just stay put and out of harms way." He said putting his hands on the sides of my head.
"What's going on?" Sam said coming out.
"I'm being left behind." I said looking at him.
"Bobby?" Sam said looking at him.
"I'm here to take Evy. She's going to stay with me while you two take care of this." He explained.
"Convince your brother not to do this." I told him. "Please, Sam."
"It's for the best." Sam told me.
"God!" I yelled running my fingers through my hair. "I thought we were past this."
"And you're pregnant now!" Dean shot back at me.
I growled into the air as I started to pace. It took me a few minutes to calm down. I didn't like this. Sam was in trouble and the way Dean had been acting worried me. The combination of the two didn't make for a very fun time. I stopped and looked at them.
"Fine. I'm not going to be able to change your mind." I told Dean.
"Thank you." He said stepping up to me. His hand found my stomach as he kissed me deeply. "Thank you." He said sweetly.
"Just promise me that you'll be careful." I told him. "Call me as soon as you can."
"I promise." He said and kissed me again. "I'll see you soon."
"Sammy…" I said walking up to him. I put my arms around his neck. He hugged me tightly. "Please be careful. Watch your back."
"I will, I promise." He smiled and kissed my forehead.
I stepped next to Bobby and watched as my boys got into the impala and drove off. The tears were in my eyes again but I clenched my jaw, holding them back. I didn't want to appear weak. It was just the stupid crying thing, stupid hormones. I took a deep breath and smiled up at Bobby. He put his arm around me, giving me a half hug before walking me to the other side of the car. He opened it and I slid inside.
"You ready?" Bobby asked me.
"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied.
"It'll be okay. They're smart boys. They'll be okay." He told me as he pulled out of the station. Going in the opposite direction.
"I don't like it Bobby." I told him. "Did Dean fill you in on both mine and Sam's visions?" I asked. He nodded. "So you can understand my worry."
"I understand, Evy. I really do but a woman in your condition shouldn't be hunting right now."
"My condition?" I shot at him. "Bobby, what the hell do you mean by my condition? I'm pregnant not dying. I am so sick of people treating me like I have the plague because I'm pregnant. I can still do the job Bobby. Being pregnant seems to have only affected my emotions not my fighting capabilities."
"Sorry." Bobby said softly.
The rest of the ride to the Roadhouse was rather quiet. I was anxious and annoyed while Bobby just seemed to be at a loss for words. It was such a relief when the Roadhouse finally came into view. I practically jumped out of the car before it had stopped moving. I went to get my bag but Bobby stopped me. I just sighed and rushed into the Roadhouse.
"Ellen?" I called as soon as I was in the door.
She came from behind the bar. She frowned when she noticed my stomach. "Hey, sweetie." She said hugging me tight. "What's this?" She said with her hands on my stomach.
"The source of my problems." I told her.
"Bobby." Ellen said when he came in with my bag. "Come on." Ellen said putting an arm across my shoulders.
She led me to a secluded booth and we sat down. Bobby found the room we'd be staying in and then went to talk to Ash. I was on edge and Ellen could tell. She went and got me some water before sitting across from me.
"Did Dean call you too?" I asked her.
"He did." She replied.
"I was worried when I got pregnant that he wouldn't want it. He's never been the fatherly type. But he was so excited." I told her and smiled. "He was so excited to be a dad. He was more excited then I was."
"How far along are you?" She asked.
"About four months." I told her.
She smiled at me. "You don't have it down to weeks or days?"
I laughed. "No, can't say that I do."
"Have you thought of names?" She asked with a smile.
"I'm partial to the common boy names. Luke, Sean, Nick…" I said and smiled. "But a more unique girl name would be fun. I like Peyton, Paige, and some common ones too I guess. I like Natalie and Brooklyn. I've thought of Mary but thought that might be a little too much for Dean. Like I don't think I'd be able to name it John if it were a boy. But you never know."
"But you've put thought into it." She stated.
"Yes, I have. A lot." I smiled at her. "I am in love with this baby. I can start to feel it move and it makes my heart soar. It's brought Dean and me closer together in some ways but a little farther apart in others. He's overly protective. Leaving me out of the loop, leaving me behind." I said and took a long drink of water. "And I am so sick of the crying thing." I told her.
She smiled, "Yeah, I remember the crying thing."
"Was Bill hunting when you were pregnant with Jo?" I asked her.
"Yeah, he was hunting."
"How did you deal with it?" I asked.
"I stayed here and ran the Roadhouse. I wasn't out there fighting." She told me.
"How did you handle the worry?"
"A lot of different ways. I knew he could handle it. But with Bill, he was a loner. Dean has Sam and Sam has Dean. They'll be okay. The three of you look out for each other. All of you will be fine. Between the three of you, your baby will have nothing to worry about. And you know you're always welcome here." She said taking my hand in hers.
"Thank you, Ellen." I smiled at her.
"Don't worry so much. Dean will be fine. He was right to leave you behind. Besides, it gives us a chance to catch up." She smiled.
"You know, where's Jo?" I asked her.
"Beats me." She said leaning back.
"Ellen…" I said looking at her sadly.
She sighed and leaned toward me again. "After she went on that hunt with the boys she decided that she wanted to keep hunting. I said, "Not under my roof" and she said "Fine"." She told me.
"I am so sorry, Ellen." I told her sadly. "I hope it wasn't at all because of me."
"Don't even think that." She frowned. "It was her own decision. It's been kind of lonely around here. Made me that much more excited when Dean told me he was sending you here." She smiled.
I smiled back. I was a lot happier to see her then I thought I would be. We talked babies and recent events late into the night. Ash and Bobby joined us for a while but the majority of the time was left to the girls. I was still worried out of my mind about Dean and Sam but Ellen had an effective way of distracting me. I helped bus tables and bartend. With all the hunters that came through it passed the time late into the night. Bobby was always in site but that was okay. As much as I fought against him, Dean was right. I felt safe and if it made doing the job easier to have me here I was okay with it. I didn't like it but I was okay with it. When the crowd finally started to disperse and Ellen closed down I was more then happy to get to bed. Bobby escorted me to the room and I fell asleep long before he did. But when the banging started on the door and the gun shots rang, any feeling of safety left me.