Chapter Twenty-four: Rest
As in my dream I now stood in a small cemetery, staring at the small headstone. Jonathan James Winchester was etched into the stone. We had talked about naming him after Dad and now he would be. The small mound of dirt was still raised over the small hole. He had been so tiny. Like my dream, I held a small blue blanket that he had been in when we were saying goodbye. I folded it up and placed it against the headstone, tears sliding down my cheeks. I heard Dean sniffle at my side. I furrowed my brows and took his hand in mine. I felt his lips against my hair and we slowly turned away from our son's grave. It was time. We had to let him go.
The impala was home and I was eager to return to it. When I was finally released I slipped into the seat, sinking down, taking in the smell of the car. I could pick out Dean's scent and I took a deep breath. They talked quietly over the car, though my name was said more then once. I didn't know what the plan was now. I didn't know what we were going to do. Things had been quiet. Dean and I had been physically closer but my mind was anything but calm and Dean was distant. This was just one more thing for him to have to deal with. First his dad tells him about Sam and then dies. I was dead at the time. Then Sam is immune to a demonic disease. I get pregnant which was the first good news he had had in a long time. Then Sam disappears, Dean and I are taken captive by a mad man, I was stabbed and our baby was lost. We thought things were out of control before. Now it felt like we were at square one again. At the beginning of some twisted road we were on with no way forward and no way back.
"Are you sure that's where you want to go?" Dean asked as we drove.
"Yes." I said looking at him. "I need to see her. Ellen will understand and I need another woman right now. I love you and Sam more then anything but sometimes I need a woman to talk to." I said putting my hand on his arm.
He nodded, "I get it." He looked at me, smiling.
"You should have told her what happened." Sam said from the backseat.
"I couldn't do it without crying and she'll know as soon as I see her. It won't he hard to figure out." I told him, looking out the window.
"We've been spending a lot of time at the Roadhouse." Dean pointed out.
"After this we won't come back for a while. Okay?" I smiled at him.
"It's not that I mind. Free beer, free room and board, what's better then that?" He smiled back.
I smiled but my smile faltered. I took a deep breath as the Roadhouse came into view. I had been doing a lot crying lately but I knew that more would follow as soon as I walked in. I wouldn't be able to hide it. I got out slowly; the pain hadn't fully subsided despite the pain pills. Dean took my hand, squeezing it as we walked to the door. When I was inside Ellen smiled at me. I smiled back but the tears were already in my eyes.
"What is it?" She asked.
"Well, we had a run in with Gordon." I told her. "The boys had to fill me in on who he was but uh…anyway, a long story short, I'm not pregnant anymore." I told her as composed as I could.
"What?" Ellen asked shocked.
"Yeah, I took a knife to the stomach." I told her.
"Oh, sweetie…" She said coming around the counter. She gave me a big hug. "I am so sorry."
"Yeah." I said with a smile and a shrug. "Everyone is."
"But that's not all of it." Dean told her, an edge to his voice.
"What is it?" Ellen asked.
"He said that he heard about Sam from someone at the Roadhouse." Dean told her.
"And you think it's me?" She asked.
"Who else knows about Sammy?" He shot back at her.
"Dean, please." I said looking at him. "Ellen wouldn't say anything."
"There are plenty of hunters that come through here smart enough to put it together. I can name you ten now." She frowned at him.
"Okay, sorry." Dean said but he was still upset. "I nearly lost my brother and my fiancé in one day and I did lose my baby."
"I know and I'm sorry." Ellen told him softly. "But I wouldn't rat out you or Sam."
"I know. I'm sorry too." He said and moved against me.
"Come on, sweetie, let's talk." She said taking my hand.
I smiled at Dean, putting my hand on his face before following Ellen. She led me to the booth that was becoming a regular for us. We sat down and for a moment neither of us said anything.
"How are you holding up?" Ellen asked me.
I nodded and smiled, "As well as possible."
"Was it an accident or…?" She said unable to finish.
"No." I said shaking my head. "He was going to kill Sam and then me and my baby. His plan went south so instead of killing us he just managed to kill my baby." I told her. "It was probably better that way. We'll all suffer more. The other way Dean would only suffer."
"It's just too much." She said sitting back.
"Yeah, but I guess I should have seen it coming." I told her doing the same, my hand unconsciously moving to my stomach. Instead of feeling kicking I felt the bandage that had stitches underneath it.
"Why?" She asked.
"Because every time I think things are going my way they fall apart. I was happy. I had Dean and I had our baby. I still have Dean but I lost our son." I replied. She just looked at me. "Yes, it was a boy." I answered her silent question. "I feel responsible even though I couldn't control what happened."
"As long as you know that, that's good." She told me reassuringly. "Because it wasn't your fault."
"I know." I told her as tears sprang to my eyes. "But I miss him kicking me. Even if he didn't do it often yet, I could still feel him moving inside of me. I learned to love him so much." I said and wiped my eyes. "He was Dean and we never know what's going to happen. To have a part of him if something went wrong would have been a comfort."
"I understand." Ellen told me.
"You would understand that." I told her with a small smile. She nodded, returning it. "Have you heard from Jo?" I asked her.
"Just the occasional postcard." She replied with a sigh.
"How are you doing with that?"
She shrugged, "It's her life. I can't control her forever."
I nodded and looked over at the boys. Both had a beer sitting in front of them but Sam appeared to be the only one drinking his. I looked back at Ellen who had a concerned look on her face.
"Are you and Dean going to be okay?" She asked.
"Yes, of course we will." I told her. But the look on her face was skeptical. "We will, I promise." I told her. "He's been through a lot lately. But we're doing okay. It sucks, but the more time we take away from the job the less people we'll save. We need to save as many as possible. For all of their family's sake."
"Are you just staying the night then?" She asked.
"Probably." I replied. "Do you have two rooms?" I asked.
She smiled and nodded. "You and Dean take all the time you need. You're family."
"Thank you, Ellen." I smiled. "I'm going to go talk to him."
She nodded and I got up, walking over to him. Sam had his concerned face on as he kept glancing at his brother. Dean's beer was untouched in front of him. I leaned against the counter next to him, meeting his eyes. He did a double take before smiling at me. He turned in the chair. I put my hands on the sides of his head, moving between his legs, putting my forehead against his. He closed his eyes. I did the same, taking a deep breath. He always smelled so good. When I opened my eyes his were still closed and his brows were furrowed. I placed a kiss on his forehead before kissing him deeply.
"Come on, let's go get some privacy." I told him.
He nodded as I took his hand, leading him to a room in the back. I closed the door behind us. He walked to the window, crossing his arms as he looked out. I walked up behind him, putting my hands on his biceps. I kissed the back of his neck, bringing myself against him.
"We're going to be okay." I told him. He simply nodded. "Honey, I know you've been through a lot. I know that but you can't disappear on me. I need you right now." I said making him face me. "Dean, I know that you've been carrying a lot. I know that but right now I need you to help me make this all right. We just lost our baby. I need you to talk to me. We haven't talked about it very much and I don't think that's healthy. I don't want it to end in some sort of breakup because we can't handle it."
"You think we're going to breakup?" He frowned at me, panic in his voice.
"No, no, of course not. I'm just saying…" I told him.
"Okay, good, because if I lost you now I wouldn't be able to take it." He said pulling me into him. He hugged me so tight. I closed my eyes trying not to cry. "I know we haven't talked but I can't handle talking about it. After dad and then Sammy and now this…" He said and looked at me. "We're going to be okay. But for the first time in my life I thought I was going to be a father and I was excited about it."
"I know you were, baby." I told him. "I was too."
"I know, I know." He said nodding. "But what is there to say?" He asked. "We didn't have anything for him and it would have been a bad idea to have a baby anyway. With what we do." He said justifying it. "Besides, I was away from you for far too long." He smiled and kissed me sweetly before getting serious again. "What's done is done. Maybe it was supposed to turn out this way."
"You don't believe in fate." I stated.
"No, not really." He said with a small smile. "But with this I'm willing to believe."
"Back to normal then?" I asked him.
"As soon as you've healed, yeah." He smiled and kissed me again.
"Want to do me a favor?" I smiled back at him. He nodded. "Hold me for a while?"
He smiled and pulled me toward the bed. I crawled onto it, as he moved behind me. He pulled me into his arms, resting his head against mine. Neither of us were tired but I loved being in his arms. It was comforting. He ran his fingers up and down my arm. We weren't there twenty minutes when there was a knock on the door. Dean got up and opened the door to see Sam. Sam smiled at me and I returned it, grabbing a pillow to hug since I knew it meant that Dean was leaving the room. Dean came back long enough to kiss me before leaving the room. I stared at the door as I hugged the pillow to my body. I had the sudden urge to cry but no tears came. My hand found my stomach and I gently messaged the area, remembering just a week ago that my baby was still alive. My dream had stayed with me as well. Though I wasn't sure if it was actually a dream or if it was a vision of some sort. Either way, I had a child and he ended up dying. It was a bad omen and it made me want to do everything but get pregnant again. I couldn't bear to lose another child. Especially after it was born. I closed my eyes and even though I wasn't tired, I fell into an uneasy sleep.
(BREAK)
The sun shown through the window, waking me in the early morning. I opened my eyes to see Dean in a chair at the window. I slowly got up, walking over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kissed his cheek.
"Morning." He smiled.
"Morning." I said kissing his cheek again.
"Did you sleep well?" He asked.
"Not as well as I would have hoped but well enough." I said sitting in the chair next to him. "Did you get any sleep?" I asked him.
"A little." He replied.
"Honey, you need to get more sleep." I told him.
"I'm fine." He told me.
"No, you're not." I stated. "Come on. It's early. There is still plenty of time to sleep." I said grabbing his arm. He didn't get up. "Dean, I mean it." I told him with as much authority in my voice as I could. He sighed and got up. "Thank you." I said leading him back to the bed. I lay slightly propped up on some pillows pulling him against me so that his head rested against my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, resting my chin on the top of his head. "You need to sleep." I told him gently.
"I can't. All I have is nightmares." He told me.
"I'm right here. You have nothing to be afraid of." I said kissing his hair. "Go to sleep. I won't leave you." He nodded and shut his eyes.
"Want to do me a favor?" He asked.
"Of course." I whispered to him.
"Will you sing to me?" He asked.
I smiled, still surprised that such a ritual had come about. Neither of us were great singers but it didn't matter if it helped each other. I didn't know what song would work best here knowing only a few really soft songs. I settled for Lifehouse's Breathing. Soon I heard his deep breathing as he drifted off to sleep. I hummed to him long after he was asleep but I was afraid that if I stopped he'd wake up. He was so tired. It wasn't fair for him to bear all these burdens. He didn't understand that I could help him carry them. He needs me just as much as I needed him, but being a man he was too stubborn to ask for help. But I knew him well enough to know when he needed to be pushed and forced to take a step back and take my help. Dean was still sleeping when there was a knock on the door. I ignored it hoping that whoever it was would just go away. I wasn't lucky enough for that. There was another knock before Sam opened the door. I shook my head at him.
"Sorry, but I think I have a job." He told me.
"Now's not a good time." I whispered to him.
"Sorry, but I think we should take this." He told me.
I felt Dean move and I glared at Sam. "Sammy?" Dean said sitting up.
"Hey, sorry, but I think we have job." He told his brother.
"No, Sam." I told him getting up.
"Baby, it's fine." Dean said standing next to me. "What's the job?" He asked.
"Possible shapeshifter." Sam told him.
"Possible?" I frowned at him crossing my arms.
"The murders are consistent with other shapeshifters we've dealt with." He told me.
I just glared at him. Sam wouldn't meet my eyes. "Okay." Dean said. He pulled me to him, kissing me lightly. "I'm going to grab a shower before we go."
"All right." I smiled and kissed him again before he walked away. As soon as he was in the bathroom I grabbed Sam's arm and pulled him into the hallway. "Sam, what is wrong with you? I told you 'no'. He's not ready for a job right now and neither am I." I told him harshly.
"This is our job, Evy." Sam said a little on the cold side. "Would you let more people die because Dean's a little tired?"
"Dean's not just a little tired. He's exhausted." I told him. "He was asleep for less then a few hours. He needs to rest."
"He can rest after this is done." Sam retorted.
"And what about me, Sam?" I frowned at him. "I just lost my baby. Do you think I need to rest?"
"If you're so worried about yourself you can sit this one out." Sam replied.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked him.
"Nothing. I'm just interested in saving a few lives." He told me and walked away.
I glared after him. He was being too pushy. He didn't understand what his brother was going through. He was trying too hard to save everyone and it just wasn't possible. I went back into the room to hear the shower still on. I locked the door before getting undressed and going into the bathroom. When I pulled the curtain back Dean had his hands against the wall underneath the showerhead just letting the water flow over him. I stepped in and gently ran my fingers down his back. He straightened and I moved against him, my lips caressing his skin across his shoulder blades. He turned in my arms before taking my head in his hands kissing me fiercely. He pulled me tighter against him as he kissed me harder. He turned me underneath the water as his hands moved over my body. Mine moved over his, gripping him anywhere my hands fell. Soon the shower was forgotten as he carried me from the shower to the bed. His lips moved over my body from head to toe. He kissed my lips, biting it gently. I gripped him as he slid inside of me. I yelled out as he rocked against me. He was being more forceful then usual but I would give him what he needed and if this was it I would endure.
We dressed awkwardly after the sex was over. He was distant and detached and I was a little unsure of what to do. He'd never been like this before. I went back into the bathroom to tend to my incision and when I went back out he looked up at me with wet eyes.
"Dean, what is it?" I asked him, pain in my voice. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." I said going to him.
"This is what's wrong." He said putting the tips of his fingers on my incision. "This shouldn't have happened. This is my fault."
"No it's not." I told him forcefully.
"You losing the baby is my fault, everything that's happening to Sam is my fault, Dad dying is my fault…" He said and paused. "Everything is my fault."
"Don't you think that." I said kneeling in front of him, taking his head in my hands. "None of it is your fault. Things happen, Dean. We all know that. But none of it is your fault." I told him as tears came to my eyes. "Do you understand me?" He nodded. I sighed and let him go, sitting back on my heels. "We shouldn't be doing this job. You're not ready. You've been through too much and you need to rest. Just like I need to rest. My body is still recovering from what I lost. Your mind needs the same rest. I'm going to kill Sam for even bringing it up." I told him angrily. "He's acting strange." I told him.
"What do you mean?" Dean frowned.
"I confronted him about this hunt. I told him that you weren't ready. That you needed to rest. He just told me that you could rest after it was done." I told him. "He was almost cold about it. Something is wrong and it's just beginning to be too much."
"I know." He said pulling me against him. "But we're going to deal with it together."
"Promise?" I asked him. "You like to take it all on yourself. I can help carry whatever burdens you have. You know that right?"
"I know." He said and kissed me tenderly. "Sorry about that sex we just had."
"You're apologizing for sex?" I grinned at him.
He gave a short laugh. "You know what I mean. I wasn't myself." He said averting my eyes.
"I know. But you needed it and I'll give you anything you need." I said kissing him again.
"We should probably go before Sam comes back." He said standing.
"He needs to drop a few pegs." I told him.
"He's just trying to be anything but what dad thinks he was going to become." Dean defended.
"I know. But he's not acting like Sam anymore." I replied.
"He'll be okay. If we're okay, then he'll be okay." He said and led me from the room.
(BREAK)
"Are you sure it's here?" I asked Sam as we went into a house in a nice looking neighborhood.
"Yes I'm sure." Sam replied harshly.
I glared up at him. I was going to keep my mouth shut but I couldn't anymore. "When this is over you and I need to have a serious talk about your attitude." I told him. "You have fallen far Sam and I'm not taking your shit anymore."
"There is nothing wrong with my attitude." He shot back. "Just because I want to get the job done."
"There's a difference, Sam. You're not acting like yourself. It's starting to make me think that what your dad said is right." I said harshly and moved ahead of him.
Dean was in the lead and I quickly took his hand. He looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but feel the sadness in my eyes and he could see it. He put his arm across my shoulders, bringing me to him, kissing me deeply. I rested my cheek against his shoulder before moving away from him as we circled the house. Inside we could see the shifter cutting meat in the kitchen. It was such a normal thing to be doing. I felt a twinge of guilt and tried to push it away but was having trouble. Sam was the first to barge in at the front door. Dean burst through the back while I broke the glass to the patio. We entered but the shifter was ready. The knife was in hand. He charged me first but Dean intercepted. He knocked the knife out of the shifters hands but was hit hard. He went down before the shifter brought a potted plant down on his head. I yelled out and he charged me again. I managed to move under his arm. I grabbed the knife from the floor and sliced it across the shifters back. I was thrown back as the shifter hit me. It hurt like hell and I felt a rip in my stomach. I looked down to see the split in my incision. Instead of pain I felt anger. I rushed the shifter as Sam struggled to un-jam his gun. I slammed into the shifter but it flipped me midair, bringing me down onto my back. The air was knocked out of me. The shifter grabbed the knife and was about to bring it down on me when the sound of gun shots put him down. It was a relief as I slowly got to my feet. I attempted to catch my breath as I struggled to get to Dean. I fell to my knees next to him.
"Dean…" I pushed out as I ran my fingers through his hair.
"Is he okay?" Sam asked coming over to me.
"This is your fucking fault!" I screamed at him. "What the hell is your problem?"
"Evy…" He said sadly.
"I am so sick of this, Sam!" I yelled. "I just lost my baby and you're making it far too easy for me to lose my fiancé!"
Tears started to flow. I covered my eyes while I placed my other on Dean's back. I was shaking, unable to control myself.
"Evy…" He said putting his hands on my arms.
"Get off of me!" I yelled pulling away from him.
He just grabbed my arms and pulled me away from Dean, me yelling all the while. He dropped me on the couch and went to his brother. I paced behind him, watching through tear filled eyes as Sam tended to his brother. I was tense and feeling panicked. When Dean started to come to I knelt next to him. He pushed himself back onto his heels and I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, crying into him. He rested against me. I took his head in my hands, just looking at him.
"Are you okay?" I finally asked him. He nodded. "We should get you looked at anyway." I told him.
"Baby, I'm fine." He told me as I helped him to his feet.
"You told me you'd listen the next time I told you we should go to the hospital." I reminded him.
"I'm sure you've told me that before today." He frowned.
"Yes, but it carries over to every time I tell you." I told him sternly.
He looked at me and a small smile crossed it. "Fine." He told me.
"Thank you." I said taking his hand in mine.
He leaned against me as we walked to the car. It only confirmed the fact that something might be wrong. I took the drivers seat and sped off to the hospital. I rushed him in and due to my frantic and incessant badgering of the receptionist we were seen quickly.
"No." I told Sam as a nurse forced Dean to sit in a wheel chair. "You're staying here."
"What? No." He frowned at me.
"This is your fault. You're staying here. I'll come and get you." I told him and went after Dean.
I stood at Dean's side as the doctor looked him over. It didn't take long for the doctor to diagnose a minor concussion. Only after some test results came back a frown crossed the docs face. I frowned and took Dean's hand. He didn't seem to be phased but I was feeling panicked.
"We're going to admit you for the night." The doctor told us.
"What? Why?" I asked him.
"There's just a couple levels here I'm a little worried about." He told me with an unconcerned tone. "Have you been taking care of yourself?" He asked Dean. "Sleeping well, proper diet…?"
"Yeah." Dean told him.
"No." I said quickly before frowning at Dean.
"No?" The doctor said looking at me.
"We've been traveling and he hasn't been sleeping very well. He's been under a lot of stress. We recently lost our baby which has put a lot on both of us." I tried to explain without saying too much.
The doctor nodded before frowning, moving to me. "Did you know you're bleeding?" The doctor asked as he moved my shirt.
"What?" Dean said leaning over the edge of the bed.
"It's fine." I told Dean, pushing him back. "I'm fine. I just popped a few stitches."
"Evy…" Dean said as his eyes grew wet.
"It's fine." I told him, tears coming to my eyes. Emotions were running very high at the moment.
"Sit down." The doctor told me.
I did, looking at Dean. He was staring at the ceiling. A moment later two nurses came in. One he told to get a suture kit while the other proceeded to get Dean into a gown and put an IV into his hand. The doctor numbed my stomach before re-suturing my incision. When he was done I stood and sat on the edge of Dean's bed. I took his hand in mine and he closed his eyes. The doctor stood on the other side, writing in Dean's chart.
"You never said why you were admitting him." I stated.
"He's dehydrated and, to put it bluntly, exhausted." He told me. "The IV will hydrate him and stabilize his electrolyte levels. He can sleep through the night. Tomorrow, if he promises to take it easy, I'll release him."
"Okay." I nodded. I looked back at Dean. His eyes were shut but I knew he wasn't sleeping.
"Make sure he rests." He told me and left.
I leaned forward and kissed Dean's forehead. He opened his eyes and met mine. I smiled but couldn't hide the tears in them. He nodded and put his hand on my face. I closed my eyes, putting my hand over his.
"I'm really liking your laying low plan." I smiled opening my eyes.
He gave a short laugh. "I don't think Sam is going to go for that."
"I don't care." I frowned. "I know that we need to find yellow-eyes and kill him once and for all. I know that we need to find out what Sam's purpose is in all of this. I know all of that but it's not worth your life." I told him.
"I'm fine." He told me.
"You're not fine." I told him sadly, tears in my eyes again. "You've just been admitted to the hospital. You're not fine."
He sighed as he took my hands in his. "I will be." He finally said.
"You just need to rest." I said leaning forward, kissing his forehead again. He put his hand on my cheek before kissing me deeply. "Sleep." I told him softly.
He nodded and closed his eyes though there was still a frown on his face. I caressed his face and his chest, humming lightly to him until he was asleep. I made sure he was deeply asleep before gently putting his hand down. I took a deep breath as I walked to the waiting room. Sam was pacing, nervously glancing down the hall. He did a double take as I came closer. He frowned worriedly and waited for me to reach him. I stayed back a few steps, crossing my arms as I faced him.
"How is he?" He asked me.
"He's exhausted, literally." I told him coldly. "He's been admitted due to exhaustion. Plus he's dehydrated with a minor concussion. He hasn't been taking care of himself because of all the pressure he's been under."
"You're making it sound like it's my fault." He told me.
"It is your fault. You may not have any control over it but it is your fault. Whatever is inside of you that your father was afraid of is making Dean go beyond his limitations. You're his brother and he loves you, but whether you mean to or not you're asking too much of him. He's been through too much and you keep putting more on him. I told you he wasn't ready for another job but you wouldn't listen to me. We're in the hospital again because you wouldn't listen to me. When are you going to get it through your head that we need to take a step back? We need to lay low like Dean suggested. You're immune to a demon disease and I get that you want to keep fighting. You want to fight for answers and to avenge your father but you're doing it at your brother's expense. I refuse to stand by and watch him take the fall for you." I finished.
He just looked at me and shook his head. "You know…" He said and paused. "You keep pointing fingers at me but you should also be pointing them at yourself. It's not just me who has something inside of them. You have the same power I do and that means that you too have whatever my father was afraid of. You were dead so he didn't have to worry about you. But now that you're back you are just as much a threat as I am." He said coldly, pointing a finger at me. I was taken aback. I honestly hadn't even thought of my place in all of this. "You brought yellow-eyes down on top of us. And when you got pregnant you have no idea the pressure you put on him. He did everything in his power to keep you safe and then you were hurt and the baby killed. He didn't want to let you down so he did anything and everything he could to keep you safe. This is on you just as much as it's on me." He said and took a step back.
I felt tears well and I nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. But I'm not the one who's dragging him into dangers way. I'm trying to keep both of us out of it. I have no control over you. But he's my future husband and I will do whatever it takes to take care of him." I told him and turned away from him.
"I wanna see him." Sam told me.
"I'll come get you when he's awake." I said without stopping or looking at him.
(BREAK)
It wasn't until the following afternoon that Dean finally opened his eyes. There was an immediate difference in him. I had fallen asleep in a chair but when I woke up he was watching me. I smiled and went to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. He quickly pulled my face to his, kissing me passionately. I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair.
"You look better." I smiled at him.
"I feel better." He smiled back.
"So what lesson did we learn this time?" I asked with a raised brow.
"Drink more water?" He grinned.
I laughed and shook my head at him. My expression soon turned serious. "You need to take better care of yourself. I can only do so much." I told him.
"I'm fine." He told me.
"Dean, baby, please." I told him sadly. "I want you for forever, not lose you when you run yourself into the ground. You need to take better care of yourself. You can guarantee that I'm going to be monitoring you more closely."
"Monitoring me?" He grinned.
I smiled and shook my head. "You know what I mean."
"I know." He said taking my hands in his. "I'll do better."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
We talked only a short while longer before I went to get Sam. I was still upset with him but couldn't keep the brothers apart for long. I listened as they made small talk with their sarcasm and jokes but wasn't ready to let Sam off the hook just yet. Things had to be different. I wanted to know just as much as he did what was going on and to kill Azazel once and for all. But I wanted Dean more then all of that and would do everything in my power to protect him. But after Dean, Sam was my biggest concern and even though he was on my shit list at the moment there was nothing I wouldn't do for him. He was my second concern but until Dean was fully rested Sam would have to wait.