Chapter Three: Fake Smiles

Three more days of her fast had gone by and Ziva was now starting to feel a bit less pain, her body growing accustomed to the lack of food. Of course, downing several cups of coffee and water every day did not hurt. Or did it? Now down to one-hundred thirty one pounds, Ziva was becoming pleased with herself. Her little secrets, tricks, and self-explored tips were working in just the way she had wanted. Her family would occasionally ask her if she was hungry, but as for them catching onto anything they seemed oblivious to the damage she was doing to herself.

Ziva was aware that this was not exactly okay, and they people would think she was crazy if they knew but she could not stop. Not now. She was too close to her target weight and she was getting closer. This was her little secret and she intended on keeping it. It was Monday and Ziva was walking to her second period when Abby came rushing towards her hyperactively. Ziva could not help but smirk at her.

"Too much caf-pow today, Abby?" Ziva asked, making herself seem as though everything was perfectly fine.

Seeming appalled at such a question, Abby's eyes widened.

"There is no such thing!" Abby insisted. "Anyway, you have lunch after third hour, right?"

Ziva nodded, putting her knapsack back onto her shoulders.

"Good! You should join us." She invited.

The girl's deep brown eyes went wide and the smirk faded. Just the idea of sitting around others as they ate terrified her. She hated this so very much but she did not want Abby to think anything was wrong. She swallowed hard, summoning up a bit of courage within herself.

"Alright. I will." Ziva said, nodding slightly.

Abby smiled, happy.

"Yay!" Abby chimed, clapping. "They're serving my favorite today. Casserole."

Ziva inwardly cringed. It sounded so fattening. She would not be eating it.

"Oh, I see." Ziva replied.

"Welp, see you then."

And with that Abby was off to class. After honors geometry, Ziva reluctantly made her way to the cafeteria. She only ever went there to get coffee and bottled water in the morning. She never, by any means, went there to get anything to eat. When she walked in, nervousness flowed through her. She grew so anxious and she hated it. She was instantly swarmed by a cacophony of smells. She wanted so badly to eat this food. She was so utterly starving, but she just knew she could not do it. Ziva knew this would mean failing. Failure was NOT an option. She stood in line and grabbed a cup of coffee, a bottle of water, an apple and a small serving of rice. She spent only a couple dollars, where most students spent anywhere from three to five dollars on lunch. With the miniscule amount of food on her tray, Ziva's eyes began scanning the cafeteria in search of Abby. She instantly noticed the black-haired girl waving for her to come over. She swallowed hard, noticing just how many people were at the table with her. She originally thought it was just going to be Abby and her boyfriend, but she had thought wrong.

"Hey Ziva!" Abby greeted happily, making room beside her for Ziva.

"Hello Abby." She replied as she took her seat.

Her eyes darted among all of the faces surrounding her and her heart beat even faster. She hated having so many people looking at her.

"Well, Ziva, this is my boyfriend, Timothy. We all call him Tim, except for me. I call him Timmy." She explained, hugging onto his arm. "And this is Tony, Kate, Rachel, Jenny, Jimmy, Gerald, Jethro, Leon, and Ducky."

Ziva put on a fake smile for all of them. There were so many people there. Why did there have to be so many people here? A significant part of her just wanted to get up and run from that table. However, she knew she could not do this. She kept on a brave face.

"It is nice to meet you all." Ziva spoke.

Abby noticed the food on Ziva's plate. It caused her to furrow her brows, confused.

"Ziva, you didn't get any casserole?"

Ziva shook her head.

"No, I did not." Ziva replied, hoping no one else would make an ordeal out of her food, and how little of it she'd be eating.

"Aw, Ziva… you've gotta try it. It's yummy." Abby insisted.

"Yeah. I've gotta agree with Abbs on this one, Ziva." Tony added, smiling at the Israeli. "It's good for school food."

"No. I do not wish to have any."

They all watched as Ziva picked up her fork, prodding at the quarter of a cup of rice on her plate. Ziva could feel their eyes on her and she hated it. Abby frowned. Maybe she did not like school food? Maybe she was not all that hungry? Abby had no idea just how bad it really was. Neither did any of the others. Ziva sat there, listening to the others conversing and spoke whenever she could, trying to distract them from the fact that she was only drinking her coffee, which sustained her and kept her warm. Ziva then got up and left, saying her goodbyes and leaving to dump her tray.

"She didn't even eat." Kate observed.

Abby shrugged, not wanting to think of it as anything terribly bad.

"Maybe she doesn't like American food." Tony theorized.

"For your information, Anthony, rice is not American." Ducky spoke.

He began to ramble on and on about the history of rice. Meanwhile, Ziva was sitting alone in the quad thinking about nothing other than food. Food occupied almost her every thought and it was not as if she could help it either. In that moment she repetitively thought about how many calories she did not eat just then. She figured it must have been at least one hundred… but it could have been more.

When school finished that day, Ziva began walking home, enjoying the feeling of the heat engulfing her otherwise frozen body. Just then she saw Ari's car slowly rolling up to her. She stopped in her tracks, looking at him.

"Get in, Ziva." Ari offered, wanting to give her a ride.

"No thank you. I will be walking." She explained.

Groaning, Ari drove off. He knew something was going on with his young sister. Tali was much too young, Rivka too naïve, and Eli too oblivious to notice anything was wrong with their beloved first daughter but Ari was not so. He was much too smart for this. In his health class they were covering mental illness and they had a brief discussion about eating disorders. When they talked about Anorexia Nervosa, something clicked within his brain. He prayed that he was wrong and wanted to speak with her about the subject, but Ziva would always evade him. He never got the chance. He feared that he was watching his half-sister disappear before his very own eyes.