Johanna was beginning to grow heavy with child. Even she had seemed to notice. I had not been there to clam her in the small tantrum she had over the fact. Even thinking back on it, I stared down at my skin in disgust, wishing to claw at it like an animal until I could rid myself of the filth.

I tore myself away from our marriage bed after three days, having finally let the evil of my actions get the better of me. Mrs Lovett stared after me as I left her, but I could see the satisfaction in her eyes. A low growl rumbled in my chest, annoyed at how smug she could stand to be.

To no surprise, Johanna was delighted when finally I came to see her again. Anthony watched as she ran up to embrace me, frowning.

"So you finally came down?" he asked lightly, looking at Johanna. Her stomach protruded evidently under her nightgown, making it almost unbearable to carry on. However, I summoned the energy and did so.

I ignored Anthony's question, instead laughing lowly at Johanna's earnest behaviour.

"Papa, you've been gone for absolutely days!"

"I've always been here," I reminded her.

"Yes, but you've not been here, have you?"

I shook my head, musing on the idea.

"I suppose not. But, never fear, I have taken my vow not to take such a leave of absence."

"Good," she said brightly, nodding almost in accomplishment. Anthony seemed to look at me with even darker eyes, now positively irate with the fact I had been so easily forgiven.

"If you hadn't noticed, Mr Todd, Johanna needs her rest." At this, Johanna pouted, folding her arms.

"You always fuss over my rest, Anthony. I think you're tired." We both of us looked at her fondly, smiling slightly at her small little comments.

"He's right," I said finally, causing a quick jolt through Anthony's body. "You need to sleep more often, really, Johanna."

All of a sudden, Johanna caught my shirt, grasping it firmly in her hands. Her eyes widened as she looked into mine, tears welling up.

"It's because of…this, isn't it, Papa?" She looked down pointedly at her stomach, and gently I pushed her hands away from me.

"You might say so," I agreed.

"Why hasn't anyone told me?"

Anthony held his breath, waiting for me to blame him. I shook my head, looking towards him. He seemed confused, but content at least that I was not going to immediately speak out against him.

"You never asked."

"I do not think I need to ask, Papa!" she said passionately, although I knew very well she did not know why there was such a fuss to be put up to begin with. She did not know the reason of her bloating was due to the child that grew inside of her.

I held her shoulder firmly, pulling Johanna towards the bed and sitting her on the edge. Without delay, both Anthony and the Toby lad, who I had barely recognised sitting at the other edge of the bed, stared at me with the utmost disgust. Johanna seemed almost curious, no longer with a hint of tears in her eyes.

As long as such was the case, I was content.

Mrs Lovett was not long to join us, and so I was again forced from Johanna's presence as she became uneasy with the fact that Mrs Lovett was near her. Toby wistfully watched as Mrs Lovett left, easily distraught that he could not join her. I could not help but soften slightly for the boy. We had both lost something the moment our vows had been exchanged.

When I thought I was at last free from her mindless chatting, it all began yet again. She pulled me onto the couch beside her, resting her head on my shoulder. I allowed it, only staring off at the wall, ignoring almost everything she said, only replying with a simply 'Yes' when needed.

To my slight surprise, it was Anthony who came to us rather than Toby, delivering his message with reluctance.

"Johanna wants you," he said, folding his arms and sighing heavily as he sat down. I nodded quietly, then moved to rise, but was stopped abruptly by Mrs Lovett's hand on my chest.

"I'm sure she can wait for yeh, love. Few more minutes won't 'urt 'er."

"Be that as it may I shan't keep her waiting."

"Yeh can keep 'er waiting for just…just a little bit longer."

Grimacing, I shook my head.

"You've married me, pet," I said solemnly. "But she's my daughter."

Mrs Lovett pouted childishly, as if such would change my mind, and Anthony watched me as I left the room. He seemed almost to understand what I had said, what had happened, what I had done. I knew very well he did not, but it seemed so just for that moment.

Johanna was as chirpy as ever when I took my place at her side, and seemed quite determined to make me speak to Toby. I could not understand why. Not but a fortnight ago she barely knew his name, and by this point the two were thick as thieves.

Much had changed since last I had seen Johanna before the wedding, apart from her stomach growing. She seemed to have settled, to say the least. No longer was she ecstatic with Anthony's appearance, and even more shockingly she was not jittery when she met someone new, such as Toby. I do not even think I saw her flinch at Mrs Lovett's name.

I almost wished she would, in some ways.

The calm air that surrounded my daughter almost gave me hope. Almost. I knew there was no hope, and it may have been far too many times before that I had to remind myself of this. Yet seeing her so composed, as I had hoped my daughter would be, simply reminded me of what might have been.

What might have been.

I could not get the words off of my mind. Even when Johanna attempted to distract me, and even when I managed to speak to her, they were still there. What had once been mindless thoughts of vengeance were now despair. It sickened me.

Mrs Lovett finally lost her patience with me and came to Johanna's room to fetch me. Her smile was almost grotesquely forced, leaving no doubt that she disliked the idea of my being with my daughter more than her allowed time. For a moment, I empathised with Anthony.

Only for a moment.

"Yeh think yeh should let the sailor boy back in?" she said in a bitter-sweet voice.

"My name is Anthony," I heard a voice say firmly from behind her.

"I don't care," Mrs Lovett muttered under her breath, then quickly turning to me, her smile even wider, her eyes earnest. "Are yeh coming, love?"

"Do I have a choice?" I asked bitterly.

"Papa, you've only just gotten here!" Johanna said, her voice slightly more shrill than it had been before. Mrs Lovett scowled at her, her fists clenching.

"Love," she said firmly, reminding me of her presence. Not that we would need the reminder. I sighed, reluctant.

"No!" Johanna cried out, immediately recognising the sigh. She clutched onto my arm, a few tears welling in her eyes again. "You only just got here, Papa! She always gets to see you, but you're my papa!"

All of us stared simultaneously at Johanna. I opened my mouth to speak, but could not find the words. How could I reply to that? She was right, and there was nothing I could say to convince anyone otherwise. Before anyone else could move, Toby had sidled to Johanna's side, placing a small hand on hers. She did not shake it away, still staring at me.

"Yeh can always see 'er later," Mrs Lovett hissed, having finally moved from her spot, now standing as close to me as she could. I sighed again, not knowing quite what to do otherwise. With a final kiss on her forehead, I left Johanna, who sobbed in annoyance.

"Papa!" she said one last time, trying to make me come back to her. Near to the point of wincing, I was forced to ignore it.

"See?" Mrs Lovett said proudly, her lips close to my ear once out of Johanna's sight. "That wasn't so 'ard now, was it, love?"

A low growl emitted from my throat. She only laughed.

"Yeh patience is growing, love. Not long ago and something like that would 'ave 'ad me pinned up against a wall with one of those razors at my neck."

"I don't have the razors any more. It would be pointless to compare. One would probably have already taken your life by this point if I had remembered to bring them."

She laughed again, but it was slightly more nervous and forced than before. Mrs Lovett began to pull me to the parlour, but a hand was placed on my should before we could move. Mrs Lovett was first to see who it was, and frowned.

"Can I speak to you, Mr Todd?" Anthony asked me, his voice and features solemn.

"Of course," I said, sensing the frustration in Mrs Lovett's breathing the moment the words came from my lips. She walked into the parlour, her feet stamping heavily across the floor. I grimaced.

"Be glad you will only marry once, boy," I said gruffly.

"I intend it to stay so."

"What did you want?" I asked. Anthony looked down at the floor for a moment, taking in a deep breath.

"I want to know…your priorities."

"My priorities?"

"That's what I said. What are they?"

"I'm not sure I understand," I said honestly.

"Well, Johanna. Mrs Lovett. A business. What is it?"

"Johanna, of course."

He paused, biting his lower lip.

"Then why is she crying?"

"Because-"

"Because you are lying, sir, about your priorities." He scowled at me, raising his chin. "I think it best your sort them out. It's doing her no good when you confuse her like this."

Again, what could I say? You can not argue with someone when you know they are right.