Haunted

It did not take long for the family to arrive in the West where Sesshoumaru was more than pleased to see them, even though he only showed the usual mild interest on his face. But they were given a large suite of rooms in the Royal Family Wing which was overseen by the most trusted of the Lord's guards and servants; at present only Sesshoumaru lived there since Rin had died. Jaken informed Inuyasha that Sesshoumaru would be waiting for them in the dining hall when they had all settled in.

For the next two weeks the hanyou family found that Sesshoumaru was in fact a very good host and many things were made available to the pups so they could train and play. And of course Inuyasha was always with them right in the thick of things in whatever they were doing. The Daiyoukai felt a longing deep inside as he watched them; the pups were well looked after and it was obvious Inuyasha was a good father, because although they all missed their mother acutely they were not being neglected. Inuyasha was always there for them.

He mopped up the tears and held them through the night if they awoke with night terrors; he was unfailingly supportive and never chided them for their emotional display. He spoke softly and soothed them back to sleep or smiles. As the month progressed, the children's acute distress started to mellow as they gradually found interest in other things and Inuyasha could see that they really enjoyed the life that Sesshoumaru's Palace could offer them.

There were many youkai pups around at any given time; visiting nobles and those of the household apart from Kouga and Ayame's cubs who were already well known. Thankfully it was not hard to hide the pup's time of mortality, for some reason they all had the same night; Kaede had thought that it was something that Kagome had influenced albeit unknowingly. But even though the pups knew that this night was a great secret they were not bothered as they had never been under or aware of any threat, unlike their father in childhood.

Inuyasha still stayed on guard over them all night as always but he was especially alert this first time they were without their mother. He was not surprised when the youngest ones started to get upset at bedtime and thereby starting off the older pups and soon he had all five little humans almost inconsolable and clinging to him. Inuyasha tried to sing some of the pup songs that their mother used to sing, but he too found it difficult to cope without Kagome; his voice cracked on some of the words.

There was a knock on the door and Sesshoumaru walked in and sat down, inviting the pups to come to him as well as Inuyasha and he was soon swamped. Inuyasha couldn't believe his ears when he heard a deep but sweet crooning coming from his brother and he had to swallow a lump in his throat as he witnessed the evidence of the tender affection Sesshoumaru held for the pups. Sparing a brief sideways glance at Inuyasha to make sure that he was able to keep his composure, the Youkai Lord kept on the low songs until the pups started to drift to sleep.

To Inuyasha's surprise he too found a gentle hand rub at the base of his ears and then run down his mane, but before he could say anything it had gone. However, it left a warmth behind that was truly comforting and unexpected; Sesshoumaru had never touched him so tenderly before. All in all Inuyasha was left contemplating once again why his brother had not yet mated and had pups of his own.

A week later it was the moonless night and Inuyasha's turn to become human and this time he was alone. Just after Kagome's death he had been surrounded by friends and hardly noticed the change although he didn't go out; Kouga and Ayame had kept watch on him and the pups and the children still didn't know that he changed at all. Even though things were much safer for him now he still kept it a fairly guarded secret, his caution had been hard won.

This night however, everything crashed round him and with no Kagome keeping watch with him Inuyasha was lonelier than he had been since he'd been freed from the tree. As if they waited for the sunset, his feelings of loss intensified and his youkai receded allowing him to grieve and this time there was no one with him to allay them.

Inuyasha had to get out of the room, he didn't want his pups to be frightened if they awoke and found their father in a state, so he fled outside to the private garden and then through to the stables where he found Ah-Un. The familiar beast raised one head to regard the hanyou turned human and blew down his noses before shuffling his huge body round to allow space for Inuyasha to shelter behind him.

Sesshoumaru found him ten minutes later, hidden in the defensive guard of the dragon and was reminded strongly of a time long past when the tiny pup Inuyasha had been fiercely protected by the animal. Ah-Un had a strong affinity with children; he had been careful and gentle with Rin in the same way that he had been earlier with the infant hanyou. There had been a time when Inuyasha had travelled with his brother and whenever that 'care' had been too severe, Inuyasha would find solace with the beast of burden and had been comforted that his tears mattered to someone.

Ah-Un may not have had the power of speech anymore than Kilala had, but that didn't stop their intelligences. He knew this boy from old and remembered other times when the pup had been human and in need of his warmth; his master had always allowed the concern in the past and the animal knew that that hadn't changed and so he had not disturbed the human when his brother had approached. He just listened to Inuyasha as he spoke of his heartbreak and nuzzled the boy's cheek and licked away the tears.

Sesshoumaru also listened to Inuyasha for a moment as he talked to the dragon about his regrets on the differences between his mother Izayoi's death and funeral to Kagome's. His mate's life with him and their pups contrasted so tellingly with that of his mother's with him, that Inuyasha's comparison caused his sorrow to suddenly overflow and he was left able to grieve for his Kagome finally. Placing a calming hand to the heads of his dragon, Sesshoumaru came round to sit down next to the hanyou turned human.

"I see you have found your old friend in your need for comfort Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru's tone was not condescending in the way it would have been in times past, in fact he sounded a little sad and his hand once again rested on his brother's head stroking him. Inuyasha leaned in to the caress while wiping his eyes and mumbling about lack of control when human to which Sesshoumaru just smiled. But thinking to take the boy's mind of his grief for a while the Youkai took a calculated risk and made the comment;

"I think Ah-Un missed having you around at least until Rin came to join us." He watched the human carefully for his response, unsurprised when Inuyasha pulled away from him slightly and muttered 'Feh!' It was time forSesshoumaru to make things good if he could; watching Inuyasha and the pups had made him realise how much he had missed out in family life and although he and his brother had buried their differences it had been in an all too passive way. Now the Youkai wanted to repair, not just paper over the past.

"Oh Inuyasha, I have always known how you felt about Rin; I know you felt betrayed by myself as a whelp and you are right. I have many regrets of the past where you are concerned and I wish to make amends if possible. I would like you to believe me when I tell you that I have regretted our past for many years now."

"I never hated the kid Sesshoumaru, and she became a good friend; I just wished…"

"I do understand Inuyasha; believe me, you would be surprised at how well I know you. And now I know you are tired, you can sleep I will allow no harm to come to you." He smiled slightly at the boy who had turned his huge amethyst eyes to his face as if to judge the elder's sincerity. Then Sesshoumaru was warmed as Inuyasha leaned his head on his brother's shoulder and closed his eyes. As they both leaned against the dragon's flank, Sesshoumaru freed his arm to put around Inuyasha's shoulder and felt the younger boy relax into sleep.

But although Inuyasha found the oblivion of sleep, the same could not be said of Sesshoumaru. How would he ever be able to begin to explain the unnatural hatred he had felt for the hanyou for so many years. A hatred that had made him issue death threats that he had never been able to bring himself to carry out; but had allowed unspeakable cruelties in word and deed that had sapped the youngster's self confidence, strength and self worth constantly. How could Inuyasha even begin to understand or forgive the motivation when the perpetuator couldn't?

Sesshoumaru remembered the very real hatred he had for Izayoi and her unborn child; it had fermented over her pregnancy and then when the General gave his last strength protecting them, the hatred had become vitriolic. Sesshoumaru's very beloved father was no more because of that unnecessary sacrifice and the grief of the son festered. But Sesshoumaru's shame went even deeper than anything else that he had admitted to anyone except for Rin.

That was something he doubted he could ever admit to Inuyasha though; the hanyou's deep seated jealousy of the human girl, although well disguised to others, was obvious to his brother and always had been. But Rin had deserved to know why Sesshoumaru would never mate with her and it all had to do with Inuyasha; a fact that she did understand and accepted, deciding that she would stay with her Lord despite it.

In return, Sesshoumaru was loyal to her as well, never taking a youkai mate and giving Rin all of himself that he could without compromising their integrity. It was enough for her, it had had to be; although she privately regretted not being able to have her own puppy eared children. Sesshoumaru knew of her desire and didn't like to deny her but there was nothing to be done except to regret the overwhelming pride and arrogance of his youth.

While Sesshoumaru was thinking, Inuyasha had slumped down in his sleep and now lay with his head against his brother's leg which was not comfortable so the youkai manoeuvred him into his lap and stroked his hair to settle him again. It felt strange to be in such a trusted position with Inuyasha but it was surprisingly welcome and fulfilling to be able to care for the hanyou in the way that Inuyasha cared about his pups; but it brought sadness too, one of lost opportunities for him. His father had tried to tell him, teach him the value of life that was not as seemingly strong as he was, but to no avail; the youkai adolescent was just too sure that he and not his parent was right.

FLASHBACK

"Your father wishes to speak with you Sesshoumaru" his beautiful mother said. The proud young Inu Youkai merely bowed and walked to his father's study entering with permission. The Dai Youkai did not ask his son to sit in his presence but he did come round to stand beside him; then putting his hands on Sesshoumaru's shoulders he turned the boy to face him. His son was always so serious and so proper that the general found the news he had received hard to understand but he needed answers.

"I have received a letter from the human prince that took shelter with us when I went to fight the border skirmish. The Prince is angry Sesshoumaru about a grave insult given his family, do you know what he is talking about."

"No, of course not Father. The whole time you were away nobody was rude or coarse in any way to the humans here. Ask mother, she heard of no complaints."

"Do not insult my intelligence Sesshoumaru, this insult has taken three months to come to notice. It appears that someone of this household made free with the Princess and she has become pregnant."

"How does it become our problem Father, could they not guard their princess more carefully? What are they after, compensation? How typically human." Sesshoumaru was hardly containing his scorn but his father's face was stern.

"Apparently the princess has told her parents that the father of her child is youkai, highborn and beautiful. It narrows things down a bit; don't you think my son, even if she did not give the name?" The general's knowing golden eyes stared into the paling face of his offspring. Sesshoumaru knew better than to dissemble with his father, the general did not suffer fools gladly and his son was not normally a fool.

"I thought her the maid; she was not forced and enjoyed the sport as much as I."

"Then you were both young fools; I do not have to tell you that your mother and I are highly displeased with this situation. We must now work out what to do about their despoiled princess and give her some honour back or we will have more trouble on our doorstep from the humans."

"Why should that matter to us, they can never touch our citadels?"

"It matters Sesshoumaru as I have told you before, and just because we have a superior power does not make it right that the princess is pregnant because you chose to ignore your upbringing and act in the disgraceful way of a common soldier at war." The general never had to raise his voice to discipline his son, the boy however sure and arrogant he looked adored his father and hated his anger directed at him.

"You have cheapened yourself and the human girl most ignobly and I wish to hear what you intend to do about it. The princess is now in danger from her family and society as is her unborn…your child."

"Surely there are herbs or inducements to end the pregnancy, women abort all the time." Sesshoumaru couldn't see the problem but his father once again just stared at him.

"You would terminate a life because it is inconvenient to you; this is your pup of which you speak."

"I will not be father to a bastard hanyou."

"You really need to learn compassion Sesshoumaru; I forgive your words because you do not know the delights and realities of having a child. It may very well be hanyou but it will be born of your seed, your son or daughter; there is nothing to compare with having your own child in your arms."

"I will not recognise any hanyou child father, they are a disgrace."

"That is something you should have thought of before my son, you anticipated the pleasures of a mated adult and now you are faced with the consequences. What would you do?"

"Nothing, I will denounce the woman and her vile offspring; if you prefer I can go and kill it with a dose of my poison." Sesshoumaru was getting angry; recognising this and the fact the boy was scared and had had this sprung on him, his father dismissed him with instructions to say nothing to anyone as of yet.

Over the following months Sesshoumaru however didn't change his mind to the disappointment of both his parents; in fact if anything his disgust of the situation he felt he was forced into made him hate the girl and her pup. His mother knew that the disgrace would eventually fall on him and was only sorry that the pregnancy hadn't been discovered earlier when miscarriage would have been easier. His father however loved all life and would not have countenanced the girl to be forced in any way to give up her child.

The general had made a point of visiting the princess regularly to check on her so that her family was wary of him and wouldn't hurt the girl and also so that Sesshoumaru could not 'forget' his responsibility. Then once the girl was six months pregnant and definitely showing she was hidden away in the palace of her father so no one would know her shame and she grew pale and sad; she was not much more than a child herself and was becoming scared for her future and that of the pup.

Sesshoumaru's self shame and stubborn pride caused his hate to grow deep roots but his father wouldn't let him off his responsibilities until one day, worried about the girl and his grandchild, the general with the consent of his mate admitted publicly that the child was his. The Princess and the pup would be moved to the Palace of the West as soon as the pup was born, at least they would be safe and cared for away from the animosity of the humans.

There was a last ditch effort from the Daiyoukai to his son.

"It will not be long before the princess succumbs to the frailties of her humanity Sesshoumaru and the pup will still be very young and in need of a caring parent. It is not too late for you to 'adopt' him; you will not be encumbered by the mother for very long. What will you call him?"

"Nothing father, he can be called Inuyasha for all I care, I may have caused his life but he is not my son; I offered ways to be rid of the abomination even to the point of finding the girl a suitable husband if she disposed of it. My obligations ceased to her or the whelp when you claimed him. It will be bad enough to have to call him half brother. Still there is always time to hope he will die in childbirth."

"I do not know where you get your callous attitude Sesshoumaru; it is not something you inherited from me or even your mother. I love you dearly and always shall, and nothing you do or say will stop that love; but I am sorely disappointed in you and can only question your sense of honour. One thing it does show though is how young you still are; you are not in any way responsible enough to be a father, thankfully at least the princess shows more maturity. Now remove yourself from my sight, at the moment you sicken me."

The father watched the son leave with a heavy heart; he had seen the sheen of tears in Sesshoumaru's eyes and knew that his son hated to dismissed from his father in such a way but it was necessary, the boy had to learn, after all the tiny hanyou would soon be a part of his world too. But the general would not leave his son in a state of despair and went to Sesshoumaru's rooms before he retired to bed.

Sitting next to the boy, he pulled the sullen pup to him and stroked his hair knowing that Sesshoumaru would welcome the soothing contact after the harsh words and the father would never let his son worry or go to sleep thinking he might not be forgiven. Besides he remained optimistic; with the pup running around eventually, Sesshoumaru would soften and perhaps a brotherly relationship would be better for them in any case. He had a last word to say however for his son to think on;

"You are weakened by your hate as opposed to empowered by your love Sesshoumaru, consider this my beloved son; your mother and I only want the best for you."

"Very well my father, I will think on what you say." And he meant it; as he snuggled sleepily into his father's secure and safe arms.

TBC