Because Of You
By: TracyCook
Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of One Tree Hill.
Couple: Deb/Karen
Authors Note: Another one! For my dedicated Deben fan! Actually started watching season 3 again and I was like Oh my god! I missed this show! Still addicted to Tawni and Sonny with a chance, but I forgot how effing cute these two are together! Like wow, so much dynamic, there needs to be more stories! Either way, I will contribute! :p
Rating: M
Sober
And I don't know,
This could break my heart or save me…
Nothings real,
Until you let go completely…
Proud was an understatement for how Karen felt toward the older blonde mother who had now been living at her house for over a month. She had remained sober after all of this time and the brunette was beyond proud of her friend. It was not without struggle, but none of the good things in life came without putting forth effort and just a bit of struggle and Deb was doing just that.
She had tried numerous times to give up or rebound, gone through horrible withdrawals, and they had spent many nights in bed together with Karen holding the blonde in her arms as she cried or shook through nightmares. Still, through all of this all that it had succeeded in doing was bringing them closer together.
The innocent woman had seen so many different sides to the once hard and stubborn woman, so many sides that she felt she had been missing out on and was only lucky enough to be one of the few to have seen them.
Smiling brightly brown eyes looked over her reflection in the bathroom mirror; she had dressed up all cute. For some reason unbeknownst to her she cared what the blonde thought of her appearance. It was a strange worry, but she wanted her to find her physically attractive. This thought alone caused a slight blush to cross her cheeks. With the last month living together many of these thoughts had crossed her mind and all of them were a bit disturbing. She played it off as the fact that they had gotten very close and it had been a while since she had had any kind of contact. Hell, she was even going to let Dan in that was how desperate she was.
Running her brush through her dark hair one last time her smile turned from sweet to satisfactory. Deb always had a way of complimenting her and making her feel so proud of her appearance despite her age. Not that age really played a factor, the blonde was years older than herself and she was one of the most beautiful women the brunette had ever seen.
Blushing more so at her irrational thoughts she tried to rid them with her scolding and responsible mind. 'There I go again thinking these oddities… I really need to stop thinking about my friend in such strange ways.'
Now that she was happy with the way she appeared the beautiful girl headed out of her bedroom in search of the blonde. Deb had promised to get out of the house today, even though she had not wanted too, she had promised and Karen planned to hold her to that. They would be going to the carnival in town. She and Lucas had gone many times when he was younger and it was one of her favorite things to do, even in her older age she enjoyed the rides and games.
The older woman had not been happy with the decision of where they were going, or even going out at all. She had been hiding. Scared to run into anyone who knew about her attempted suicide, most importantly she had been scared to run into Nathan or even Haley, but Karen knew that this would be an important part of the healing process. So, she was excited.
"Deb? Are you ready?" Karen shouted out through the door of Lucas' old room that the blonde was now inhabiting.
"Karen, do we have to go?" Was the whining voice on the other side. She certainly did not sound as excited about the carnival.
Sighing the brunette crossed her arms and stared hard at the closed door, the mother in her coming out full force. Sometimes it felt like she was Deb's mother, taking care of her, forcing her to come out of her shell. Other times it felt as if she were her lover, holding her at night, laughing with her. That thought almost caused her to lose her composure, but she gained it and fought back the blush. "Yes, we have to go, you promised."
There was an annoyed groan on the other side of the door before the knob started to giggle and the older woman made her way out of the room. She was dressed up as well, but in a far different way than the brunette. While Karen opted for beautiful and sophisticated, which Deb immediately took note of as her brown eyes wandered her body, the blonde went for a more teenager hip look. Wearing a V-neck tank top that showed off her amazing cleavage and a shorter skirt to show off her slightly tanned legs, along with this she had on heels.
Karen suddenly felt completely underdressed, as if she were going to a funeral or something, the blonde always had a way of looking eye-catchingly-beautiful. "Woah." Was the brunette's soft reply as her innocent eyes wandered the expanse of the blonde's body very in a not so innocent manner.
To Deb it was cute, and it only became even cuter when she saw those brown eyes quickly look away and the brunette coughed to cover her embarrassment. 'Is she blushing… because she was looking at me?' The blonde internally questioned with a raise of the brow as she asked. "Too much?"
"No." Again she coughed before turning to head toward the door, taking one last peek at her friend's attire. "Definitely not."
Smiling smugly Deb practically skipped after her, clutching her purse at her side and making certain not to trip in her heels. She was happy, for the first time in a long time she was happy. Perhaps it was all too selfish, and she knew eventually it would catch up with her, Karen would not be there forever even if that was what she wanted, but for now she was happy.
Still, the thought of the carnival brought her down; it was not really her scene. She preferred bars and clubs, but of course neither of those would be on the agenda.
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving…
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me…
"Do we really have to go to the carnival? Can't we do something a little more our age?" Deb questioned as Karen started the car and pulled out of the driveway, heading down the street in the direction of the carnival. She was actually very excited to be going.
"I love the carnival." The brunette stated honestly before glancing over with a smile and large innocent and sweet brown eyes.
The blonde caught those eyes with her own and she saw the disappointment as well as the excitement for the carnival behind them, and despite wanting to do something a little different she decided that it would not be all that bad to just give in. It would be completely worth it as long as she got to see the happiness behind those large brown eyes she loved.
"Fine, but no rides. They make me sick." Deb stated with a stubborn tone, it seemed she was back to acting the same as before. Minus the drugs and the booze.
Karen sighed as she pulled into the parking lot of the small carnival they had in town each year, it was not a far drive from her home, nothing in Tree Hill was that far from her home. Glancing over she caught those eyes again and said "You have to ride the rides with me, I'll be scared without someone's hand to hold."
Though the older woman was sure that her friend had only meant that platonically despite the blush that formed on her cheeks after saying it, she could not pass up the opportunity to hold the beautiful woman's hand. Even if it meant facing near death, she always hated rides.
Pouting the blonde dropped her shoulders in defeat, "Whatever, you win."
"Oh goodie, I can't wait!" Karen responded, a bright smile spreading from one ear to another. It was amazing to Deb that no matter how many hardships were passed her way; the brunette woman still remained as innocent and positive as ever. It was something she envied about her friend. How she wished they were so much more than friends.
Three months and I'm still sober,
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers,
But I know it's never really over…
"Oh my fuck! Oh my fucking jeezus christ! Ahhh!" Deb shouted out loudly as the coaster cart made its way to the top of the very steep and high hill, it was terrifying. Keeping her brown eyes closed she tried to focus on the hand that was being wrapped tightly in her own and the cute giggles coming from the woman sitting beside her on the cart. It was almost enough to distract her from anything it the world.
She guessed that was the reason that she no longer felt the urge to drink or do drugs, she had been distracted by the almost sickeningly cute and innocent girl whose fingers she felt she would break any moment with how tightly she was holding on. "Calm down sweetie, I'm right here." Came that soothing voice and a stroke of her finger against her hand. This immediately did what it was aimed to do and the blonde was now only breathing heavily as she awaited their doom.
"It's kind of hard to calm down when you are about to be hurdled to your impending doom! Fuck, Karen, how did I let you talk me into this?"
"You let me talk you into this because you love me and want to make me happy." The brunette said with a little nudge of their shoulders and a squeeze of their hands. 'Oh how true that reasoning is.' Deb thought to herself even though she knew that Karen only meant it in a friendly way.
"Well, how much longer until we—"
She lost her voice as the cart was lunged forward and she tightened her closed eyes screaming out loudly as they were hurdled up and down many hills. "Oh god! AHHHH!" She shouted out all the while she could hear the brunette beside her laughing. It seemed that she was not scared one bit, in fact she even enjoyed this death trap, and that made it all worth it for her.
And I don't know,
I could crash and burn but maybe,
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me?
"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry." The responsible mother said as she held back the blonde's hair as she threw up into a garbage bin. Of course she felt that it was her fault for forcing the woman to not only come to the carnival, but to go on so many rides, including the roller-coaster she had said always made her sick.
Honestly Karen simply wanted the older woman to let loose and have a fun time, it seemed that their lives had too much drama in them at all times that it was no wonder that someone could be driven to alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. This would at least give her something positive to think about. Not to mention the brunette really enjoyed spending time with the other mother; she felt that they were closer than she had been with anyone, even her lovers.
As Deb finished emptying her stomach on the cement she wiped her face off with her sleeve to Karen's disgust, she was always neat and tidy, but she did not say anything. Now standing up with her hand against her stomach the blonde smiled reassuringly. "No worries, I had fun."
"Are you sure?"
It was not even a lie Deb realized, she had enjoyed the entire ride with the beautiful woman by her side holding her hand. It had been terrifying and she had felt like throwing up afterward, and she had, and she was dizzy her head pounding, yet she had enjoyed it and would not take back that moment for the world. "Yes, I am sure. Now, can we get some food, or play a game?"
"But, I wanted to go on the Mamba!" Karen said in a childish voice as she pointed at an even larger roller-coaster which earned her friend's brown eyes to grow large and a groan to escape her lips. Quickly the younger of the two smiled and said "I'm only joking, of course we can eat."
Deb smiled extremely gratefully at her friend, before they headed toward the food court looking for a small snack to fill their stomachs, and hopefully calm hers.
So I won't worry about my timing,
I want to get it right.
No comparing, second guessing,
No not this time.
"Now this is more like it!" Deb said excitedly as she reached for yet another stuffed toy that she had won, this had been the third, and she was now running out of hands to hold them all. Karen of course still wanted to go on the Mamba and continued to beg her friend to go on it with her, but it was to no avail. The blonde would much rather be shooting water guns of throwing balls into buckets.
"Can we go on more rides now?" The brunette practically begged, even though she was perfectly content playing games with Deb, she loved seeing the way that her smile widened and her brown eyes lit up as she won. Even the way that she groaned out and added more money to the table when she lost was cute, it seemed. Lately every little thing that she did was cute to Karen.
"Oh, but I wanted to win one for you next." She said her smirk widening across her face, she hoped that the bribery would allow her to do two things she wanted to do. Continue playing the games, and give the woman of her affections a prize.
The younger mother seemed to think on this for a moment, she would love to have something to remember the amazing night with the blonde, and she would also enjoy seeing her play a game that she knew would be a challenge. "Alright." As Deb began to do her victory dance to the amusement of a few teenage boys around them, and the slight jealousy of Karen, which was a shock to her. She added, "But, I get to choose the game."
For a moment her face fell, but she quickly raised her spirits. Ever the stubborn and determined girl at times she was always prepared for a competition. "You're on!" She smiled.
Three months and I'm still breathing,
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know,
It's never really over…
The blonde was extremely disappointed when her friend chose the one game she knew that she was the worst at, it was not that they had been to the carnival together, hell Deb rarely had time to do so previously in life, it was that they had played darts together in the past and she sucked. She worse than sucked, she was terrible. "You know I suck at darts Karen!"
"That's what makes it fun though, it is fun to try something new. Makes it a challenge." The brunette stated with an encouraging smile, she was always so sweet and encouraging.
"But you are already good at it, why don't you just win the prize yourself?" There went up her guards again, the sarcasm and the stubbornness returning. Karen would not allow Deb to push her away, she only pushed back.
"Why don't we do it together? I could help?"
A soft blush covered the blonde's cheeks at the thought of her helping with the game, as cheesy as she knew it was as well as cliché she could not help but react. It was embarrassing how childish she acted around the brunette, it was as if all of her strength and need to be the persona she enjoyed playing disappeared. She smiled like a fool, did not curse as often, did not feel a need to get any sort of revenge, it was just the two of them. She felt like a teenager in high school before she became pregnant, when these things were a huge deal.
Like it was her first date all over again, and it was embarrassing to admit that she was enjoying every moment. It was also selfish for her to take advantage of the beautiful brunette; she knew she would have to be honest about her intentions. Eventually, that was.
For now she was enjoying the warmth of Karen's body pressed against her back and the way that her fingers felt against her own holding the dart and trying to demonstrate the proper way. She even had her hand placed against Deb's hip pulling their bodies closer together. It felt so amazing that she had not even been paying attention as the dart slipped from her hand and hit one of the balloons. The woman behind her was excited, but she had not even noticed it had hit the mark, her body was too busy reacting to the feeling of Karen's soft breasts and the way her body felt flush against her.
"Good job!"
"Yeah…" The blonde responded as the younger woman she adored helped her to throw the next dart as well, again hitting the mark.
Oddly enough Karen was dealing with very similar sensations; hers were not as figured out though. They were confusing. The way that she enjoyed their bodies pressed together, the way it made warmth shoot through her every time they made contact. Similar to what she had felt numerous times with Andy, but this could not be the same sensation right? She wondered, but ignored it for the moment as she continued to help.
Upon winning the game both jumped up and down in excitement and Deb allowed the younger woman to choose her prize, she chose a cute little blue puppy which the blonde handed her wearing a bright smile across her face. "For you."
Three months and I'm still standing here,
Three months and I'm getting better yeah,
Three months and I still am.
There had been one last ride that Karen had wanted to go on before they left; she had explained that when she was very young her parents would always buy the bracelets so that she could ride this ride over and over again. She loved it, out of all of the rides it was her favorite.
Yet, the brunette had not taken into account the clothing choices of her beautiful friend. Now it was becoming so clear to her though as her eyes wandered over the soaking wet woman, for being her age she had an amazingly sexy body. This perverse thought mixed with many others caused a heated blush to cover Karen's entire face as she tried to stop staring.
"Wow, that was fun." Deb said as she ran her hand through her hair, she had yet to notice that her white V-neck was clinging to her braless breasts. Her nipples completely visible through the thin fabric, and Karen was not going to be the one to tell her as she bit down on her bottom lip and tried to watch her eyes. Failing miserably.
'Oh gosh I am being such a perv. Why am I looking at my friend this way?' Again brown eyes wandered her body and she blushed even more so as her mind reminded her a bit too profanely, 'Maybe because she is sexy as hell!'
Three months and it's still harder now,
Three months of living here without you now.
Three months and I still remember it…
Three months and I wake up...
After Deb had realized that the water ride had caused her to become completely exposed, and after flirting with quite a few young and handsome boys, to Karen's jealousy and annoyance, they had decided it best to make their way home.
Now in completely dry pajamas the blonde was lying in bed with her friend holding onto her as they had gotten into the habit of doing. Both of them had things on their mind as exhaustion filled their bodies from their very eventful and fun day. Deb was thinking about how amazing the beautiful woman she was holding was, how she had taken care of her through everything, and how she owed her the truth.
While Karen was dealing with her own new thoughts of her friend and what exactly they meant, why would she enjoy the feeling of her body against her own, and why would she think she was sexy?
"Thanks for taking me out today, I had a lot of fun. I was so scared to go out, but it was amazing." Deb mumbled against the brunette's toned stomach as she snuggled against it to both of their enjoyment.
"It was my pleasure. Honestly, I haven't had so much fun in a long time."
The blonde smiled as she closed her brown eyes feeling completely safe and comfortable. "Me either." She mumbled before she drifted away into a deep and comfortable sleep. She was truly happy, it had been a long and dark lifetime, but she was finally starting to feel happy with it, all things happen for a reason right?
Three months and I'm still sober,
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers.
O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H O T H
Authors Note: Welp there is the next chapter! The pace is slow, I know, I know, but they will be getting more intimate as the chapters go on! So hopefully y'all will bear with me. And by y'all I only mean one of you, haha because none of the others review to tell me this story is awesome. Haha we all know the couple is amazing, you could give me your input. :p
-Tracy Cook