A/N: The authoresses Kelly and Kelly here do so dedicate the following chapter to three amazing people: Black Moon White Sun, pinkpenguin363 and marieken, our first reviewers ever! We're glad you like it so far! Remember, it's going through the whole movie, so hopefully we'll have the entire thing up for you guys eventually!

As for Jediman…we aren't sure whether you like this or hate this. Frankly, we can't tell. But we can assure you that you don't have to write this for us; apparently, people besides ourselves do find this funny, so it doesn't necessarily need to be changed. Thanks for reviewing anyways, and may you find this chapter a little better!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, or the scenes from The Producers and Monty Python's Flying Circus. I do, however, own the thing that Peter was staring at. If you want to know what it is, then read it already!

Chapter 2: The Station

The five Pevensies went out to the train station so that the four children could be sent to the country. Over the intercom, the announcer was stating, "All passengers getting on the train in Platform 4 to go to the moon must complete a five-hour chicken dance routine."

The Pevensies were paying no attention to this announcement, or indeed to anything else going on around them. Helen was busy pinning a label onto Lucy's jacket, saying as she did so, "You need to keep this on, darling. All right?" Lucy looked up at her mother. "You warm enough?" Lucy nodded. Helen smiled. "Good girl."

Edmund was looking at a poster that was advertising llamas, not noticing a child next to him catching a mongoose in his mouth and dropping it continually at his aunt's third cousin's feet. Edmund frowned at the poster before turning back to his family. "If Dad were here he wouldn't make us go."

Peter turned to him. "If Dad were here it'd mean the war was over and we wouldn't have to go."

Helen looked up at her youngest son. "You will listen to your brother won't you Edmund?" She got up and put her arms around him and tried to strangle him, but Edmund pulled out of the way. Helen pecked the top of his head, and then turned to Peter, pulling him into a hug. "Promise me you'll look after the others," she said.

Peter closed his eyes. "I will, Mum," he murmured into Helen's shoulder.

Helen pulled away from her eldest and looked into his face. "Good man," she said, and turned to Susan as the announcer said to make like a totem pole and stack bird-like visages of your ancestors on your head.

"Susan," said Helen as she embraced her daughter. "Be a big girl." She pulled away and took a last look at them all as a woman behind her was chastising her daughter for forgetting to vacuum the trees. "All right. Off you go," said Helen, smiling.

The four children started to head for the train, ignoring a man screaming for his blue blanket that was rushing past them. Edmund led the way into a crowd of people who were checking the passengers' tickets and labels. "Hey, get off!" he cried at them. "I know how to get on a train by myself. Get off me!"

Peter, who was looking at the people who were getting on the train next to theirs and was startled to see a giant cow head with a blue nose sprout wings and fly upwards, where it crashed into the ceiling and exploded. Peter was so busy staring at this that he didn't notice the woman who was collecting tickets trying to talk to him.

"May I have your cheese, please?" The woman noticed that Peter was not listening to her, so she tried raising her voice. "Cheese, please."

Susan grabbed Peter's tickets from him. "Peter – wait, what?" she asked, turning back to the woman.

"I said tickets. Give me your cheese-flavored pieces of paper. NOW!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing…GIVE ME YOUR TICKETS!!!"

"All right, all right! Here!"

"Excellent," said the ticket woman, smacking her lips together and grinning maniacally. "On you go."

Susan stared at her, wide-eyed. "Yes, thank you," she said awkwardly.

Lucy, walking past the crowd while holding Peter's spleen, tried to go back through. Peter, noticing this, bent down to talk to her. "Come on, Lucy," he said. "We have to stick together now." Lucy started to cry. Peter smiled at her. "Everything's gonna be all right. It's gonna be fine." Peter stood up and pulled Lucy over to the other two siblings and past a lumberjack who was okay sleeping all night and working all day.

The four children boarded the train, and stuck their heads out of the window to get one last glimpse of their mother. They saw her and frantically blew raspberries at her.

Going into their compartment, they saw that they had to share a seat with two pairs of giant toenail clippers. Peter put his and Lucy's luggage in the luggage racks, and went to do the same with Edmund's. Edmund jerked his bag away and shoved it into the rack himself. The bag hit Peter on its way up, knocking him out. He fell to the floor, his head in the doorway. Susan closed the door on her brother's head.

The toenail clippers got off at the nearest Starbucks, which was five feet from the station. One of the clippers went into that one, while the other went into the Starbucks across the street.

A/N: Ha, that last part makes me laugh. Yeah, seriously, I have a stuffed blue-nosed cow hanging over the fireplace in my living room. Wow, so many things are giving me inspiration!

A/N 2: And I'm the other author of this, and it's really sad that I just read this and started bursting out laughing. How pathetic is that? But geez, you have to admit the randomness is hilarious! (Well, at least I think so…but then again I helped come up with this so I should find it funny…ah well, just ignore me…I'm insane!...I like ellipsis!...)

P.S. A thanks goes out to our friend Steve for coming up with the totem pole line…I LOVE that one so much!!! Definitely my favorite line of this chapter!