Chapter 3: Wherein Castle Tries To Make His Mother Vomit.

When he gets back to the loft, he heads straight for the bedroom. Kate is not still naked, not still waiting for him. In fact, his bedroom is empty. An eternal optimist, he decides this is merely a setback, not a sign that she has gotten cold feet. He goes off in search of her.

His search is rather easy, since he finds her in the kitchen. She has apparently decided to forgo the Flashdance look in favor of his fluffy terrycloth robe, which is probably for the best, since he's developed a tendency to have nightmares about Jennifer Beals, for reasons he doesn't want to examine.

"Someone is overconfident," she says as he walks in.

"Huh? What?"

She nods towards the trash bag in his hand. "I applaud your enthusiasm, but that's way more than we need."

He looks down, realizes she thinks the entire bag is filled with condom boxes, shakes his head. About a dozen jokes spring to mind, but he decides it's safer to play it straight.

"No, no," he says, tearing open the bag. "Got a lot of stuff... buckets, tire gauge, stuff like that."

"Castle... I'm open to ... whatever, but... what exactly did you have in mind for all of that?"

"No, it was subterfuge. I'm Batman."

"Are you having a stroke?"

He stops, listens to himself, starts over. "No... Alexis was there, at the store. I, uh, didn't really want to explain why I was there."

"So you bought a mop bucket. Sure. Makes sense." He doesn't know if it's a good sign that she's giving him a look that is sincere, and not merely tolerant; like she thinks his crazy schemes actually do make sense. That really isn't good, since he needs her to be the sane one.

Staring at her, it finally clicks in his head that she's standing in his kitchen, naked save a bathrobe, and he doesn't have to keep his distance anymore, so he steps towards her, goes to kiss her. She pulls away.

"Castle," she says in warning, looking behind him, over his shoulder. He turns his head to look where she's looking.

"Richard, darling. You're home," Martha says, coming down the stairs.

"Mother," he says. He can't tell if he's frustrated or relieved. At least Kate had a decent reason for not kissing him. Not that she should have reasons.

Martha flounces into the kitchen, gives him a kiss to the cheek and a look he can't quite place. It feels like pity and smells like Channel. She breezes past him and Kate, goes to the fridge.

"What are you doing here, Mother?"

"I had dinner with a friend and have you seen the weather? I had no desire to make the drive to the island when it's raining like this, so I came here. Imagine my surprise when I find the lovely Detective Beckett here but no son or granddaughter." Martha turns to Kate, "Not that you aren't always welcome, darling."

"I had to run an errand," Castle says.

"Yes, Kate told me, though I can't see what could possibly be so urgent that you'd run out in this weather."

"You know, I'm just going to take your ... supplies ... to your room, Castle," Kate says, grabbing the bucket he's left on the counter. She's into his study before he's even aware that she's retreating. He just watches her leave.

"Richard," his mother says, forcing is focus back to her. He turns his head. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Mother. I am terrific."

"You don't need to put on a brave face for me, kiddo. I know how hard it has to be for you to have her here."

"Mother, trust me, things are fine."

"Which is why you felt such an overwhelming need to get away from her that you decided you had to run errands?"

"I appreciate the concern, but a lot has changed since we last talked."

"You and Kate sat down, had a sober talk about your feelings, resolved your issues and found some common ground?" Martha asks, taking a sip from the 20oz of wine she's poured herself.

"No, not exactly."

"Not exactly?"

"Some things got in the way..." he says.

"Like?"

"Pizza. And a couch. Oh, and did you know every seventeen year old boy in this city has turned into a dog?"

"Are you okay, kiddo? You aren't making a lot of sense."

"This night hasn't made a lot of sense."

"Obviously. Look, darling, I'll help. She can't go home right now, not until her clothes are dry, so I'll keep you two company. Keep the conversation light, and it will all be okay in the morning, I promise."

"Really, Mother, that won't be necessary," he says.

"What won't be necessary?" Kate asks, coming back into the room. Not a retreat, then, he thinks to himself. Just hiding the evidence.

"I had suggested we all watch a movie," Martha says, "and I offered to make popcorn, but Richard thinks that that's too much."

Castle shakes his head, amazed at how effortlessly his mother is capable of lying.

"A movie?" Kate asks.

Castle just shrugs.

"Martha, why don't you pick something out. Rick and I will be out in a second."

Martha does an elaborate bow, heads off to the living room.

"Castle, what is your mother doing?" Kate asks once Martha is out of earshot.

"She's running interference," he says, sees the confused look on her face, "She thinks she's protecting me from being alone with you."

"Why would she think you don't want to be alone with me?"

"In all fairness, Kate, the last time she and I talked was after I left your apartment yesterday."

"Oh."

"Here's the thing," he says, "I could easily fix this and get her to leave us alone if I just went and told her we were planning on going back to the bedroom and go at it like rabbits on ecstasy. But I'm not sure if you want anyone to know."

"Pretty confident there, aren't we, Castle?"

"I got you in my bed naked once. Going to work as hard as I need to to make sure it happens again."

"Don't worry, it won't be that hard. And I'm perfectly fine with people knowing, just ..."

"Just what?"

"You're probably, before anyone else lets her know, gonna want to talk to Alexis. She might have some reservations."

"What? Why do you say that?"

"I heard her talking to Lanie. She thinks I'm stringing you along, and I suppose she has a point. Not that I was trying to..."

"It's okay, Kate. I understand. Like you said, we'll work on it, we'll be fine. But you're right - can't tell anyone until I get a chance to talk to Alexis first."

"Right, so we need an alternate way to get rid of your mother."

"I think I have an idea, just follow my lead."

She nods, takes his hand, let's him lead her back towards the living room. "By the way, does your mother even know what ecstasy is?"

"Yeah, she does. Doesn't quite see why anyone would feel the need to take the stuff, of course, but she's aware of it."

"Yes, well, for both our sakes, let's hope you're just as lively when you're her age."

They head back into the living room, where Martha and her bottle of wine have taken up residence. Kate sits on the couch while Castle goes over, roots through his DVD collection.

"I know you said you were going to pick something, Mother, but I had promised Kate an old classic, if you don't mind."

"Oh, darling, you know I love the classics."

He grabs a DVD, pops it into the machine. As the movie comes on, he goes and sits as close as he can to Kate on the couch. She lifts an eyebrow at him, doesn't say anything.

"I'd recommend not paying too much attention to the movie," he whispers in her ear.

The opening credits come on. It's a Korean movie, with subtitles. Old Boy.

"I've never heard of this movie, Richard," Martha says, "Are you sure it's a classic?"

Neither Castle nor Kate pays much attention to the movie as it runs. Both of them have seen it before, and while it's good, it's entirely inappropriate for the evening. Castle watches his mother, who tries gamely to deal with the violence, but slowly turns greener and greener as the movie continues.

Around the hour mark, Martha's bottle of Chardonnay is done, and so is she.

"Richard, darling, I really do think I need to turn in for the evening. I'm sorry kids, but you'll just have to enjoy your ... movie ... on your own."

"Are you sure, Mother? It's just getting to some of the best stuff."

He watches his mother almost choke. "No, dear, it's been a long day," she says, kissing him on the cheek. She whispers into his ear, "I'm sorry, but I'll turn down the sheets in the guest room for Kate. Things will look better in the morning."

He decides to ignore the idea of Kate in the guest room. "I'm sure they will, Mother. Sleep well."

He watches her walk up the stairs to her room, turns back to Kate.

"Clever," she says, "but it may have backfired."

"How's that?" he asks, going back to sit next to her.

"As much as I like violent Korean revenge flicks, they don't do much for the mood we had going earlier."

"We can get it back."

"Don't be so sure of your..." she trails off as he runs his hand inside her robe, trails it up from her knee along the inside of her thigh. She tilts her head back, her breathing gets shallow.

"Seems like we found it easily enough," he says. For the first time all night, he feels in control. "You know, I'm still wearing a lot of damp clothes from my 'errands' earlier. I could use some help getting out of them."

She stands up, pulls him off the couch. "If that wasn't such a stellar idea, I'd tease you for such an obvious line, Castle."