A/N: iheartmwpp: Hello, yeah, so the deal is that since my computer sucks I have to e-mail all of these chapters to Raven so she can post them on here. Only problem is, now my e-mail is trying to be a buttface. I'm sending some chapters over while I still can. If you don't see any updates for a while in the future, blame it either on our laziness or my e-mail.

A/N: Raven: Also, might I add that we will soon be accomplishing a feat? We will be passing the amount of reviews for our other story, Marauder's Reunion, meaning we'll start a new highest record!! And we still have a bunch of chapters left to go on this story! This totally rocks! Thank you so much reviewers! We love you!! Well, I love you at least. And stuff and stuff. Woot!

Disclaimer: We do not own anything except our perverted minds in this chapter. Everything else is owned by someone else, other than ourselves. We own nothing and –GET ON WITH IT!! Wow, schizophrenia rocks! I'm really random right now…can you tell who this is? It's Raven of course! Okay, really. I'm done now.

Chapter 12: Meeting Mr. Beaver

The four children hiked through the fake snow, past the giant flashlight that they all stopped to stare at before Lucy urged them on. In some portions of the movie, they actually walked through real snow! Gasp! They had never seen real snow in all of their lives. Peter was so excited that he ran ahead of Lucy and ended up slipping and falling down the hill that they were on. It was one of the parts of the film where he was at his sexiest. The sisters laughed at his antics while Edmund trudged reluctantly behind, as always jealous of his brother's undeniable sexiness.

As they got closer and closer to their destination, Lucy began to tell them what to expect. "The washing machine isn't so bad once you get used to it," she commented, "though admittedly the detergent does hurt quite a bit when it gets into your eyes and tries to suck out what little brain tissue you have. The dark loads are the most fun–" She broke off, staring at what was in front of them in horror.

The washing machine had been replaced by a dishwasher.

Lucy stared at it for several millennia before Peter asked if there was anything wrong. "Lu?" Lucy snapped out of it finally and ran up to the giant drier, climbing inside. "Lucy!" Peter called after her as all of them followed her into the dishwasher. Inside, there was something that shocked them more than all of their worst nightmares put together.

There were posters of N'SYNC all over the inside of the dishwasher. N'SYNC paraphernalia littered every nook and cranny of what was once a respectable washing machine. There was even a cartoonish poster of Justin Timberlake over Tumnus's bed that was somehow stolen from Shrek 2.

"Who would do something like this?" Lucy wondered aloud. Edmund heard a crack and, looking down, realized that he had just stepped on a Lance Bass bobble-head doll.

Peter turned and saw a letter that had been taped over the row of N'SYNC albums lining the far wall. Peter ripped off the letter and began to read it aloud. "The Faun Tumnus is hereby charged with High Treason against Her Imperial Majesty, Jadis, Queen of Narnia, for refusing to listen to N'SYNC, and for not sending her documentations of said Faun's obscene thoughts. Signed Maugrim, President of the N'SYNC Fan Club. Bye Bye Bye." Peter gave it to Susan to look at.

Susan glanced at it before turning to her elder brother. "All right," she muttered. "Now we really should go back."

"But what about Mr. Tumnus?" piped up Lucy.

"If he was arrested just for not liking a hideous band that he rightfully should hate and for obscene thoughts, then I don't think there's much we can do."

"You don't understand, do you?" Lucy stared up at her older siblings. "I'm the human who was supposed to be documenting Mr. Tumnus's obscene thoughts. She must've found out that he got me out of doing it."

Peter sighed and bent down. "Don't worry, Lu. We'll think of something."

"Why?" asked Edmund unexpectedly. "I mean, he's a criminal. Anyone who doesn't like N'SYNC is a criminal."

"That band sucks!" yelled Susan. "If anything it should be a crime to like it!"

Suddenly a bird flew in, urinated on all of them, and then left.

Susan turned to Peter, very confused. "Did that bird just piss on us?"

"Well, it's not like there was a mini rainstorm in here!" Lucy retorted. Peter turned on her savagely.

"Don't joke about the rain! You know what I said about melting, don't you? DON'T YOU???"

Lucy nodded with wide eyes.

"I don't have to tell you again, or the rain master will be angry with us…ever so angry…I don't want to be a snowman again! NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!!" Peter ranted, finally collapsing into a shuddering heap on the floor. Edmund laughed and began to kick him as Susan rolled her eyes and led the way outside where Peter puffed up his chest, hoping to regain some of his dignity.

As soon as they stepped outside, there was a sudden build up of music.

"We're not in bloody Star Wars!" Edmund scoffed loudly, but the music continued on deafeningly as a rustling sound joined it. Fearfully, Susan, Peter and Lucy huddled together as Edmund attempted to glue a scared expression to his face. Tension swelled as the music increased with the rustling and Edmund struggled in vain.

All of a sudden, from behind a snowy log emerged a creature worthy of…being a creature.

"It…it's a beaver," Lucy stated, cautiously creeping forward and gawking at the beaver in confusion.

"You know, I think that's already been established. If you've read the books or seen the crappier version of this same movie, you would know that that's a bloody beaver!" Edmund said.

Lucy stuck out her jaw and chucked a piano at Edmund's head. "Yes, well this is DIFFERENT, bitch! I had to say what it was in case some stupid idiot audience member thought it was a tractor or something!"

"Hey, Lucy…where did you get a piano?" Susan asked.

Lucy shrugged. "Found it in my coat pocket."

Susan nodded knowingly as the beaver eyed them and slowly approached. Peter knelt and extended a hand.

"Here, boy," Peter encouraged, clicking his tongue. The beaver gave his hand a sideways glance.

"Well I'm not gonna snuggle with it, if that's what you want!"

The children fell back in surprise and alarm.

"Um…sorry," Peter apologized. The beaver turned to Lucy.

"Lucy Lucinda Lulu Lucifer blah blah whatever-he-said Pevensie?"

Lucy gasped and opened her mouth dumbly, frowning. The beaver went to her and handed her a handkerchief.

"Hey, that's the hankie I gave to Mr. Tum—"

"Tumnus," the beaver finished for her, nodding. "He managed to get it dry-cleaned and got it to me just before they took him."

"Is he alright?" Lucy asked anxiously.

The beaver leaned closer to them. "Further in," he whispered. The beaver began to run away as Lucy and Peter started to follow him.

"What are you doing?" Susan called after them, halting them in their place.

"Yeah, how do we know we can eat him—I mean trust him?" Edmund demanded.

A random viewer became enraged at Edmund for speaking that way. He was sick and tired of Edmund leaking hints about the plot, and decided to end it once and for all. The viewer removed a blow-gun and a poison dart from a bag at his side and promptly killed Edmund on the spot. His siblings just stared at his corpse, for they were really just actors and weren't related to him at all and thus didn't really care.

Because it was Narnia, however, and Narnia does weird things to people, Edmund was restored and everyone working on that scene had their memories erased. The only thing they remembered was a strange buzzing accompanied by a strong craving for gravy.

"He said he knows the faun," Peter offered as proof of the beaver's trustworthiness. Susan shook her head smartly.

"He's a beaver. He shouldn't be saying anything!"

The beaver popped his head around the corner. "Everything alright?"

"Yes," Peter answered swiftly, silencing his siblings' arguments. "We were just talking about whether to get on with the story or not."

The beaver glanced around. "That's better left for safer quarters."

"He means the fake snow," Lucy explained. The siblings observed the ominously glittering snow with wary eyes for a moment before trailing the beaver.

A/N: iheartmwpp: Yeah, the dishwasher was originally a drier before Raven reminded me that she had a two-in-one deal in earlier chapters for Tumnus's house. Yeesh, you expect me to remember these things? I keep forgetting that we even wrote the other stories on our profile half the time! Anyway, you know the deal, review and tell us other ideas you have about heavy objects Lucy suddenly finds in her pockets and chucks at people.

A/N: Raven: Might I point out that I'm awesomeful? I'm the only one in this duo that can actually TYPE!! Go me!! The other one just uses two fingers. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, I finished typing this up in minutes. Oh yeah! Although I have to give some props to iheartmwpp for coming up with the whole "N'SYNC" deal, and the signing off the letter "Bye Bye Bye". I thought that was clever! I am in the weirdest mood right now…in case you didn't notice. Anyone like the random viewer and blowgun? That was me, me, ME!!!

A/N:iheartmwpp: Shut your festering gob you git, or I'll shove your eyes in a ceiling fan.

A/N: Raven: NOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!!! I need my eyes…to SEE!!! Okay. I've stopped now. Yaynessblarglknaoieakfnla;ljkwemaeklbfupioa;lekanfoSUI:akl

nfoaiea;lnalnalknAlkenjalkb;lehoifajlekano;ifjalknfio;jalemklfjaoiejf.Laknhfoieajklfheakljfioajnfklabnio;fhaelknbog9p8aweklnaskl;fhaiowfjlmlk…?. AHH!! MUST.KEEP.IPODS.AT. BAY!!

A/N: iheartmwpp: Why at the bay? Isn't it nice enough in the countryside surrounded by prettiful flowers and turnip grass?

A/N: Raven: Well, as much as I love turnip grass, I must say that the water is sparkly when the sun makes it sparkle.

A/N: iheartmwpp: True, true. Fine. Keep them at the bay then. No one likes you anyways.

A/N: Raven: I'm crying right now! Teardrops…coming from my eyes!

A/N: iheartmwpp: We still arent' done with this yet?

A/N: Raven: Oh, yeah. We should probably finish and just post this.

A/N: iheartmwpp: Okey dokey then. Here we go…a'finishin' this thingy.

A/N: Raven: Yup.

A/N: iheartmwpp: Seriously, we're done.

A/N: Raven: And…now.