Broken

Chapter 11:

Complicated

Edward

I cannot believe what I had just heard. Bella wanted me to see Anthony. After all the hurt and pain I caused her, she still wanted me to visit my son. I was so excited to finally see my son after so long. I wonder if he remembers me. Of course it's only been three to four weeks since I've seen him, but I heard somewhere that little kid's brain don't work as well as adults, and they forget things easily…or so I've heard. I doubt its true though, but you never know. Anthony didn't remember that blue was blue, and not green. He always got the names of the colors mixed up. It was adorable, but sometimes a pain in the ass. For example, I'd ask Anthony to grab my gray shoes, and he'll bring me my black ones. I'd get slightly annoyed, but never angry. You could never stay angry at Anthony…especially with that face.

Bella finally pulled away from the hug and I instantly missed her in my arms. I missed being able to hold her for the past four weeks. She was never around, and when she was she hated my guts. It killed me to know Bella hated me, but I had to cope. Everything was my fault in the first place, and I deserve all her hatred she had towards me. Honestly, I don't want her to hate me…for many reasons. One, I don't want Bella to feel hate, ever. I like Bella being happy, and laughing instead of walking around with a frown on her face and all depressed. I like happy Bella, not depressed Bella. Second, it kills me to know that Bella hates me. I love Bella with all my heart, and it'd just rip it out and shred it to pieces to know she hates me…even though I've already felt that numerous times these past weeks. I deserved it though; I'm a worthless waste of space that's lucky enough to win that jackpot. Which were Isabella Cullen, and our son Anthony.

"Yeah, well…I got to go. Rose and Alice offered to watch Anthony for me, but I don't want to bug them by having them watch him all day." Bella rambled, and I chuckled looking at the design on her shirt. It said "Free Hugs," and oh so badly I wanted another free hug. I could hug Bella all day. She was so warm, soft, and don't get me started on her scent. God, she smelt delicious…Strawberries and freesias, my favorite combination.

"It's alright Bella, I understand. I'm just happy I got to spend these few minutes with you. It really brightened my day." I told her honestly, and she blushed. I watched her as she looked down at her shoes, obviously trying to avoid my eyes to spare for embarrassment from me complimenting her. Bella was so adorable.

"Thanks Edward. Uh…I'll call you to arrange plans with Anthony?" she told me, but making it sound more like a question. I smiled and looked into her eyes when she finally looked up. All I saw in them were confusion, happiness, and…excitement?

"Sure, I'm home a lot and always carry my cell so you have no excuse not to call." I said jokingly, and she giggled.

"Alright Edward. I'll definitely call you. I know it'll mean a lot to Anthony to be able to see you." She stated, and my heart soared through the sky. Anthony wanted to see me?

"Really? That's great; I can't wait to see him. I miss him so much Bells." I replied, and she kind of…froze when I called her bells. Shit, did I say something wrong? Maybe I shouldn't have called her bells.

"I know, and I'm sorry for keeping him from you. I just want what's best for Anthony." She whispered with a small smile, and I nodded slowly. I really wish I hadn't caused my family so much pain.

"I know Bella, and I understand it's just…I want to try to make this work. You guys are the best things in my life, and I don't know what would happen if I lost you guys for good." I whispered, putting the piece of hair that fell down behind her ear. I smiled, and she looked at me with loving eyes.

"I…should go." She whispered, looking away quickly and pulling away from my hand. I sighed, and looked at my shoes.

"Yeah, I guess." I whispered as I nodded. I heard Bella sigh quietly.

"I'm sorry Edward." She whispered, obviously not wanting me to heard but I did. What would she be sorry about?

"What was that?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. Bella's head shot up as her jaw dropped and her eyes widened.

"Oh, um…i-i-I just…I um, sorry I should go." She rambled quickly as she turned on her heel, and walked away quickly. I sighed.

"Bye!" I shouted, and Bella stopped for a second. I saw her head look over her shoulder. I swore I saw her smile as she waved goodbye over her shoulder quickly. I smiled and watched Bella's moving figure slowly disappear in the mist the more she walked. I shoved my hands in my jean pockets, and turn on my heel heading back to my Volvo quickly.

I quickly hopped into my Volvo, and drove away from the coffee shop, and soon to the place where there were so many memories. Not all were good, but most of them. I sighed as I jumped out of my car, and locked it before running inside, and slamming the front door shut with a bang. I bit my lip as I looked around the remains of my living room. Everything was trashed from my violent act of when Lauren came over. I don't know why, but she struck a nerve so easily. Serious, why and the hell did I sleep with somebody who causes so much drama, and hurt? I'm such an idiot.

I ran my fingers through my hair quickly. I know what I wanted to do; I wanted to fix the house up for when Bella finally came home. I smiled to myself as I grabbed the broom and dust pan from the closet in the kitchen. Bella liked calling it the janitor'scloset because it was filled with many cleaning supplies.

I walked back into the living room, and silently began sweeping up all the broken glass. I tried my best not to cut myself, but did end up with a few scratches. I crinkled my nose at the blood, but quickly wiped it away.

After about two hours of cleaning, and fixing the living room, bedrooms, and kitchen…the house finally looked like I had hired a maid. Fuck, hire a maid! That would have been so much easier than doing it myself….but whatever. Bella with appreciate what I've done….I hope.

I then carefully picked up our wedding picture off the ground where Bella threw it weeks ago. I've been meaning to pick it up sooner, but it hurt too much to even think about her.

I carefully took the picture out of the frame, and threw the broken remains in the garbage. There was nothing left of it anyways. Bella threw like a demon. I should know, she's thrown many things at me.. Especially when she was pregnant, wow that was a nightmare…but I still love her.

I then set the picture on the table next to the bed. I made it where it was propped up on the lamp, and I could look at in while laying bed. Sure, that sounded creepy but I don't care. Bella was the love of my life and I don't mind staring at her while I was lying in bed. It felt like she was lying right next to me.

I smiled and lay down in bed next to Bella. Kind of….but it was better than nothing. Soon Bella will really be lying next to me, in my arms…and I couldn't wait for it to happen.

Bella

I felt all giggly inside as I walked away from Edward. He brought out the kid in me. Everything about Edward brightened up my day. He was just the perfect husband anybody could have, except when you hit that bump in the road, also known as Edward cheating on me. I understand Edward was sorry, and wanted us to come home…but I don't know if I could. I didn't want to prevent Edward from seeing Anthony, but I had no choice but keep him away so he wouldn't get hurt like I did. I don't know what I'd do if I knew my little baby boy was hurt.

I half smiled as I continued walking. I originally took a cab to the coffee shop, but I decided to walk home. It wasn't far, and my thoughts kept me so occupied that I was already half way there.

I watched as I pasted many people. I felt the wind of the cars flying by me on the road. The air felt nice, but the smell that backfired out of the cars didn't smell too good. I crinkled my nose as I picked up the pace. I rubbed my arms quickly trying to warm up. It was getting windy, and slightly cold.

I finally arrived home, and shivered as I got inside. I quickly grabbed a jacket out of the coat closet by the door and put it on. It swallowed me, and I chuckled. I soon realized that it was Jaspers. Rose made sure she had a few of this things for when he came over, which wasn't often.

I slipped off my shoes, and walked into the kitchen where I saw Rose sitting on the bar stool reading the news paper. I grabbed a bottle of water of the fridge, and took a gulp.

"Hey Rose. Where's Anthony?" I asked, twisting the cap on my bottle. Rose looked up from her newspaper, and giggled.

"He's taking a nap. Alice and I were playing power rangers with him, and I guess he got sleepy or something." Rose explained, and I laughed. That sure sounded like Anthony.

"That sounds like him. Did Alice leave?" I asked, sitting on the chair at the table.

"Yeah, she left a few minutes ago actually. She had to go to work. Alice sometimes works the afternoons." Rose told me while reading her paper. I nodded and grabbed a grape off the bowl of fruit in the middle of the table.

"oh." I replied simply, and Rose nodded.

"Yeah, did you know that the hospital is being sued for fifty thousand dollars?" rose asked in disbelief. My eyes widened, and I dropped my water.

"What? Why, and what hospital?" I asked curiously, and Rose set down the paper.

"Yeah, I'm serious. They're getting sued because apparently two children were switched at birth and they just found out a few months ago when the children were both fifteen years old. Also it was Red Cross hospital in Port Angeles." Rose finished, and I looked at her with two heads.

"That's understandable. I know if somebody switched Anthony with a different baby, I'd be pretty upset too." I said, taking a sip of my water once again.

"I know right, I'd ask for more if it was me…but whatever." Rose stated, and I chuckled.

"I feel the same way."

"Hey…where did you go this morning?" Rose asked, putting her paper down and refilling her coffee cup. I sighed and played with the end of my shirt.

"I um…I went to see Edward." I mumbled slowly, and Rose choked on her coffee.

"You went and did what?" she shouted, and I sighed.

"I went to see Edward this morning." I replied, and she looked at me pissed off.

"Why would you do that? He's a jackass Bella, why the hell did you go and see him?" rose shouted, and I frowned.

"Rose, I understand he hurt me badly but theres no reason for insulting him. I still care about him yah know." I mumbled, and rose sighed.

"I know…I just don't like watching you get hurt." Rose whispered, and I smiled wobbly.

"I know, and thanks for that, but I really needed to have a talk with him." Rose smiled small.

"Talk about what?" she asked, sipping her cup of Joe.

"We talked about me coming home, and Edward being able to see Anthony." I replied, sipping my water once more. Rose nodded, and sighed.

"Why would you let him anywhere near Anthony?" rose asked angerly, and I sighed harshly.

"Maybe because he's his father Rose! Yah know, I know you care for me and all but you don't know whats best for me. Its my life Rose!" I snapped, and I watched her flinch. I instantly felt back, and sighed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"I know, and I know its your life Bella but I don't want to see you get hurt again. I love you." She whispered, and the tears began watering in my eyes once more.

"I love you too Rose." I whispered, pulling her into a tight hug.

Life was so complicated.

Did you like it? Reason I didn't update these past days like usual is because I only got 1 review. Just one. It hurts a little bit. :(