A/N: This is probably the most stupid one yet. And that's saying something. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: We do not own the Chronicles of Narnia, nor do we own any ideas that come off the commentary.

Ch 17: Assault of the Evil Octopi! Dun Dun DUN!

"Hurry Mother!" cried Mr. Beaver, crashing into the dam with the other three Pevensies behind him. "They're after us!"

Mrs. Beaver jumped up, putting her hands (paws?) on her hips. "I'm not your mother, I'm your wife, idiot!" She turned around and began to gather some food together.

"What's she doing?" asked Peter incredulously.

"She's gathering some food together, what's it look like?" yelled Mr. Beaver.

"Oh, you'll be thanking me later," answered Mrs. Beaver. "It's a long journey and Beaver starts PMSing when he's hungry."

"I'm PMSing now!" bellowed her husband.

Outside, just beyond the edge of the woods, the octopi began to gather around. Maugrim looked at the hut before turning to his comrades. "Gobble them."

"But I don't have any teeth…" one octopus complained. Maugrim gave him a look and he fell silent.

"Any other complaints?" Maugrim snarled.

"I've been turned into a cow…can I go home?"

"Fine, yes. Anyone else?"

"No," was the resounding reply.

Meanwhile, in the house, Susan had decided to help Mrs. Beaver with her packing. She looked around and spotted a very useful item. "Do you think we'll need this microphone?" she asked the room at large.

Peter rolled his shoulders. "Only if it's karaoke night at the Bitch's place!" he scoffed.

The octopi that remained began battering the poor beavers' dam. There was a shot of the top of the hut, where the octopus digging into the dam was real and the one on top was computer generated. Another shot of the side of it revealed only one CG octopus and the other two were real. They broke into the hut finally, the one coming in first real and the ones behind it were CG, and one was actually a man with tentacle puppet thingies on his arms. Except for the puppets, yay commentary.

Meanwhile, back in the tunnel, the children were racing along behind the beavers.

"Badger and I dug this. Comes out right near the casino," he explained, panting.

"You told me it led to your grandparents'!" Mrs. Beaver shrieked indignantly.

Mr. Beaver shuddered. "Why the bloody hell would I want to go there?" he muttered to himself. Behind him, Lucy stumbled over a clod of dirt and fell to the ground. Her sister immediately stepped on her, squashing her face into the ground. Suddenly, Susan looked up in horror. The others mirrored her expression as they all paused to react to a line not forthcoming.

"Whose line is it?" Peter growled. Susan shrugged, oblivious to Lucy's muffled cries from below her foot.

"Well this is kinda ruining the moment here!" Mr. Beaver added. "The music was fast-paced and everything! A pretty good action sequence, if you ask me."

"We didn't ask you," Mrs. Beaver grumbled.

From down the tunnel, there came a pattering of feet and the octopi chasing them rounded the corner, halting in place at seeing the motionless group. The lead octopus frowned. How that's possible, we don't know.

"What, was there a scene cut?" he demanded, "Did we miss something, or are we still rolling? Why are you just standing there?"

Mrs. Beaver stamped her foot impatiently. "Can you believe the nerve? Someone had a line but they didn't say it!" she fumed.

The octopi were enraged. "We worked so hard on this scene! I mean, the animators animated some of us for a reason here!"

"Maybe we should just go on with it?" Peter suggested. The group turned to him and nodded slowly. The octopi waved goodbye as they headed back out of sight. Susan wasn't so easily dissuaded, however.

"But that line was the most important! Without it, we will never know what's happening!" She shifted her feet and Lucy gasped for air.

"The-they're in…the tunnel!" she wheezed brokenly. Everyone's face echoed horror at her dire words. They would never have guessed!

"Quick, this way!" Mr. Beaver yelled, leading them down the tunnel once more.

"Hurry!" Mrs. Beaver cut in.

"Run!" cried Peter, yanking Lucy to her feet and dragging her.

Mrs. Beaver encouraged them on. "Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick!"

"WE BLOODY GET IT, WOMAN!!" Mr. Beaver screamed back.

The music accelerated with them as they rounded a fierce bend and came face to face with a dead end. Hey, it rhymes.

"You should have asked that nice little naked mole rat we passed for directions!" Mrs. Beaver screeched.

"I don't need directions for a tunnel I helped make!" Mr. Beaver retorted angrily.

"What is it with men and asking for directions?" Mrs. Beaver asked herself. "At least you should have brought a map!"

"There wasn't any room next to the microphones!"

They backtracked and finally came to an exit. They crawled out hurriedly. When they were all out, Mr. Beaver and Peter found a giant spinach-flavored marshmallow to cover the opening.

"Speaking of marshmallows," Peter commented randomly, "I dreamt last night that I ate a giant marshmallow and when I woke up, my pillow was gone. Hmm…?" (A/N from Raven: That's one of my uncle's favorite jokes. I love it, too! No matter how many times I hear it, it still makes me laugh!)

Peter was interrupted from his internal musings as he noticed Lucy backing up and tripping over a chair. "Those chairs never even had a chance to live!" Peter cried brokenly, falling to his knees in anguish.

Susan cleared her throat. "Um, Peter? Those are just part of the set. The animals are over there."

The camera turned widely to get a lovely shot of the poor, stone elephants and giraffes. In one corner was a badger, frozen in a look of pure terror. Mr. Beaver gasped and ran right past Badger to the giraffe.

"He was my best mate," he choked emotionally, hugging one of the creature's spindly legs.

Mrs. Beaver approached her husband and put a comforting on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, dear."

Mr. Beaver sniffed. "Now where am I going to get my illegally pirated DVDs?" he wailed.

"What happened here?" Peter demanded.

Suddenly, out of the shadows padded a fox. "This is what becomes of those who piss off the Bitch by not inviting her to gamble," he explained.

Mr. Beaver clenched a fist and stepped forward furiously. "Take one more step, traitor, and I'll bite your legs off!"

The fox chuckled. "Relax! I'm one of the good guys."

"Yeah? Well you look an awful lot like one of the bad ones!" Mr. Beaver retorted.

"An unfortunate family resemblance. But we can argue coloring later. Right now we've got to skedaddle and do a ho-down."

Peter glanced up as he heard the terrible sound of swishing tentacles. "What did you have in mind?"

The fox looked at him and opened his mouth. "Dah…" he drooled. Peter smacked himself.

A/N: That's all, folks! By the way, we saw Meet the Robinsons and it was kickass. Just thought you should know. Bye-bye!