Broken
Chapter 12:
Bionic
Bella
Once I pulled out of the hug with Rose I grabbed a pear off the table and took a bite. I chewed slowly being swallowing; I looked at Rose a minute before speaking.
"I think I'm going to call Jasper, I felt like I haven't talked to him in forever even though it's been three days." I said with a giggle. Rose nodded and handed me the home phone in front of her. I smiled and thanked her as I dialed the number and waited for him to answer. I walked into the bedroom to get some space from Rose. I sighed when I ended up getting his voicemail.
"This is Jasper, I can't come to the phone right now but uh…I'll call you back as soon as possible. Thanks." Jasper's voicemail told me, and I chuckled at his awkwardness in his voice. I heard the beep and took a breath to speak.
"Hey Jasper, it's me Bella. I uh…wanted to talk to you about things. I had a talk with Edward today, and my thoughts are just all jumbled in my head and I want to let them out yah know? Yeah…well, call me back soon. Bye." I whispered into the phone, and hung up with a sigh. I set the phone on the desk next to me and looked at Anthony's sleeping figure on the bed. I slowly walked over to the bed and sat down next to him without making a sound. I then carefully pulled the loose strains of hair out of his face and smiled small. He was so peaceful, and didn't have an idea of what was going on. I felt bad lying to him, but I had to so he wouldn't feel pain.
I then began lying next to him in bed, and wrapped my arms around his waist carefully so he wouldn't wake up. I kissed his nose gently before closing my eyes and having a restful sleep with my son that I loved so much.
I woke up from the light calls of a sweet angelic voice. I didn't recognize it at first, but once I began waking up I realized that it was my son Anthony.
"Mommy! Mom, wake up. I'm hungry and Auntie Rose is gone." Anthony complained, and I chuckled with my eyes closed. I heard Anthony groan.
"Mommy, I know you're up stop faking it." He demanded and I laughed as I opened one eye and looked at him. He was still in his outfit from earlier and his hair was messy.
"Just five more minutes please." I mumbled, rolling back over on my stomach. I was just teasing Anthony but he didn't realize it.
"No Mom, I'm hungry now!" he shouted, standing up and jumping on my back. I groaned in pain as I rolled over causing him to fall on the bed giggling. I grabbed his sides and began tickling him furiously. Anthony laughed loudly and I giggled.
"Mommy, stop I'm sorry for dumping on you. "He muttered through giggles, and I chuckled slowing down my giggles.
"Say you love me." I demanded with a fake stern look and he frowned.
"No." he mumbled, and I gasped dramatically.
"No? No?" I shouted tickling him once again, he laughed uncontrollably, and I smiled.
"Fine mommy I love you!" he shouted, and I stop pulling him into a hug. He sighed but finally hugged me back.
"I love you too baby. Always and forever." I whispered and I felt him smile into my shoulder.
"Cool, now can we have food?" he asked in a groan, and I chuckled. I knew he loved me too but he gets cranky when he's hungry.
"Sure little man, just let me shower and get dressed." I told him, and he nodded running out of the room and into the living room. I smiled and got out of bed. I stretched my arms and grabbed an outfit out of my dresser. A grey Whyred Melange Merino Jumper with a black tank top for underneath because it was loose and short on me. To go along with the sweater, I grabbed a pair of black leggings and grey toms. I set my outfit on the bed, and started the shower. I pulled my shirt off over my head and pulled down my jeans, and panties. I unclasped my bra and stepped into the lukewarm shower. I quickly scrubbed my body, and washed my hair and face before stepping out. I wrapped the towel around my waist and picked up my clothes before throwing them in the hamper outside the bathroom door.
I walked over to my dresser and grabbed a pair of matching pink lace lingerie. I dropped my towel and slipped on my panties before putting on my bra and clasping the clasp which was in the front this time. Afterwards I slipped on my black spaghetti strapped tank top and my black leggings. Once they were on and comfortable I put on my sweater over my tank top and adjusted it. I then put on my toms before walking into the living room. Anthony looked me over and smiled.
"You look pretty mommy." He complimented, and I blushed. He was so sweet and adorable.
"Thanks baby, what do you want for breakfast?" I asked looking at the clock. It was 12:45. Whoa I didn't know it was that late.
"Lunch I mean." I corrected with a blush. How embarrassing.
"Um…cheese sandwich." He told me and I looked at him confused.
"You mean grilled cheese?" I asked and he nodded. I smiled before pulling out a loaf of bread and a package of Swiss cheese. Anthony didn't like American cheese that well but he loved Swiss.
I quickly made the sandwich and set it on the table using a paper plate.
"Sweetie, come eat!" I called and he ran into the kitchen and quickly ate it while watching TV. I giggled as I walked over to the kitchen drawer where I stored my phone and checked it after a week of ignoring it. There were 34 missed calls, and 28 text messages. Most of them were from Edward, but a few calls and texts were from my carrier reminding me I had to pay my bills and stupid salesman. I sighed as I deleted all the texts without reading them. I then deleted all my missed calls, and voicemails without listening to them. I slipped my phone in my bra, and closed the drawer. I didn't have any pockets so I had to store it there.
I sighed, and had no idea what to do. Maybe I should apply to some jobs? I feel like such a burden to Rose. I smiled and nodded to myself as I sat down at the desktop in the living room. I typed in craigslist and clicked the jobs categories, then teaching. There were many jobs opened but there were very few near my location. One was a teaching job at Ridgeway high school for an 11th grade Math teacher. I groaned. I only had my degree in English, literature, language arts, and a little bit of Spanish and French. I shook my head and fixed my search to English Teacher wanted. A few jobs in my location popped up and they were perfect. I then clicked the job application and filled them out and sent them in. I sighed and shut off the computer.
I checked the clock in the kitchen and saw that it was almost two o'clock. I sighed, and jumped when I felt my phone vibrate in my boobs. I looked over at Anthony making sure he didn't watch me as I fetched it out of my bra. I bit my lip and saw that Jasper was calling me. I smiled and answer the phone casually.
"Hello?" I said in a sweet voice.
"Bella? This is Jasper." He said awkwardly, and I giggled.
"Yeah, I know…caller I.D. told me so." I joked, and I heard him laugh.
"Oh right…well, I got your voicemail saying you wanted to talk?" he asked, and I nodded to myself.
"Yeah, but I'd be more comfortable if we did his in person." I told him honestly.
"Yeah sure, no problem…how about we meet up at the new bakery one greenway?" jasper asked nicely, and I sighed.
"I would love to meet up there and share Danishes with you Jazzy, but Rose isn't home and I don't know any babysitters around here." I told him honestly, and I heard him sigh.
"Oh, right…another time?" he offered, and I bit my lip.
"Well how about you come over later? We can talk and I'll make you dinner." I offered, and I heard Jasper chuckle.
"Uh…alright. I was going to clean my apartment a little place but I can take a rain check." He joked, and I slapped my forehead.
"Oh right, I should have known you had plans tonight. I'm sorry, we can reschedule." I rambled, but Jasper cut me off.
"No, no it's fine. It's just a little cleaning, no worries bells." He said softly, and I smiled to myself.
"Alright, I'll make Lasagna, and garlic bread…that okay?" I asked, and he laughed into the phone.
"It's perfect Bella, but you know you don't have to go through too much trouble for me. I'm nothing special….Just your older brother, kind of. "He said with an amused voice. I giggled, and sighed.
"It's no worries Jazzy, I love you." I said sweetly, and he sighed.
"I love you too, bells. I got to go, I have to work from three to four-thirty." He replied, and I nodded to myself.
"Alright, its fine I understand. Can you come over around five-thirtyish?" I asked in an unsure voice, and looked at my shoes.
"Sure, sounds perfect. Bye Bella."
"See yah Jazzy." I ended, hanging up the call, and sighing.
Jasper was going to be here in three hours, and I couldn't wait. He knew all my problems, and would listen to any bullshit I laid down on the table. He was like my human diary, and that's one of the reasons I loved him so much.
"Anthony? Uncle Jasper is coming over later, get in the bath." I demanded, and he groaned.
"Mom, I don't want to!" he complained, and I groaned.
"Please baby? You don't want uncle Jasper to think your dirty all the time do you?" I asked sweetly, sitting down next to him on the couch. He hung his head, and sighed.
"No." he whispered, and I smiled.
"Then get in the bath." I said with a smile, and he looked at me.
"Can it have bubbles?" he asked sweetly, and I nodded.
"Sure."
"Can I bring my Batman Action figure in the bath with me?" he asked with a smile, I bit my lip.
"You don't want to ruin it. Uncle Jasper bought it for you, maybe a different toy?" I offered, and he bit his lip thinking about it.
"Fine, I'll bring my Superman." He offered, and I smiled. Superman was an old toy anyways and he brought it in the bath many times before.
"Alright, I'll start the bath for you." I said ruffling his hair and walking away.
"Lots of bubbles!" he shouted, and I chuckled. He loved taking baths with lots of bubbles.
"Of course!" I shouted over my shoulder, and walking into the bathroom. I plugged up the drain, and started the bath at lukewarm temperature. I grabbed his tear free body wash, and added a fair amount in the water. It soon became a bubbly bowl of water. I added a few rubber ducks, and a cup in the tub. I used the cup to pour on his head when washing his hair. Anthony enjoyed it.
When the tub got near the tub I shut off the water, and stood from my knees. I grabbed a small blue towel from the closet in the hallway and set it on the counter.
"Anthony, the baths ready." I shouted...then I heard him groan as he walked into the bathroom holding superman in his hands. I giggled as he got undressed and stepped in the tub. He was upset at first, but smiled as soon as superman saved ducky from drowning. I giggled at his foolishness.
"I'll be back to wash your hair. Scrub yourself while I'm gone." I told him, walking into our bedroom, and picking out an outfit for him…A green polo shirt and a pair of brown plaid shorts. Along with it I picked out his brown converse. I smiled and then grabbed a pair of tighty-whiteys for him. I walked into the bathroom, and set the outfit on the toilet before grabbing the tear free shampoo, and scrubbing his hair.
"Mommy, do a Mohawk!" he giggled, and I smiled while pulling his hair up into a mini Mohawk. He giggled, and clapped cheerfully.
"Do I look cool?" he asked, and I smiled at him.
"Very cool." I said in awe, and he giggled. I smiled as I filled the cup with water and poured it over his head washing the soap out. Afterwards I did the same with the tear free conditioner.
"Almost done." I whispered, grabbing a wash rag, and carefully scrubbing his face. He groaned, and I chuckled.
"Stop whining and be a big boy." I mumbled, and he sighed.
"Fine mommy." He mumbled looked at his duck. Once I finished, I dropped the rag, and smiled at him.
"All done, did you scrub yourself?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. He bit his lip, and nodded.
"Are you lying?" I asked, and he hung his head in shame.
"Yes mommy." He said sad, and I sighed.
"It's alright baby, just scrub you belly, wash your underarms, and scrub your privates." I said cheerfully, standing up and walking out. I heard a faint okay from Anthony as I left. I walked into the kitchen and began preparing supper. I got everything out I need, noodles, green peppers, hamburger meat, onions, salt & pepper, tomatoes, and spaghetti sauce. I set everything on the counter and walked back in the bathroom where Anthony was drying himself off with a towel. I chuckled, and grabbed his underwear holding them out.
"Step in one foot at a time." I told him as he dropped his towel. He then stepped in his underwear, and I pulled them over his butt. After that I pulled on his shorts, and he slipped on her shirt.
"Alright, you can get your shoes on yourself." I told him while handing him shoes, and his converse. I smiled at him while grabbing his towel, and throwing it in the hamper.
"Shut the light off when you're done." I shouted over my shoulder as I walked in the kitchen. I quickly washed my hands and began preparing dinner.
*one hour later*
After the lasagna was all ready to go, I slipped it in the oven to cook. Jasper was coming in an hour and half. I took a deep breath, and walked in my room to do my hair. I quickly brushed it through, and gave it small curls. I put on mascara, and a little lip gloss. It wasn't that I wanted to look hot for Jasper, but I did want to look nice for him. He was family to me.
After I finished up I walked out and checked on my food. It was looking good. I heard the front door open just to be greeted with Alice, and Rose. Did they do everything together?
"Something smells good. Whoa Bella you looked cute, who's coming over, a boyfriend?" Rose trailed off with a smile, and I laughed.
"More like Jasper." I shuddered at the thought of us dating. Alice's eyes sparkled when I said his name.
"Jasper's coming over? Why?" Rose asked, and I sighed.
"I needed to talk to him about some stuff." I whispered, and Rose bit her lip.
"Why couldn't you talk to me?" She asked with hurt in her voice. I looked at my shoes.
"Well Rose…it's because I can tell Jasper anything, and I wanted to put a good word in for Alice." I whispered honestly. Alice giggled, and I bit my lip.
"Alright, we'll leave. Want us to take Anthony with us?" Rose offered, and I shook my head.
"No, it's alright. I already told Jasper the reason we're meeting up here is because I haven Anthony. If he isn't here he'll get the wrong impression." I said with a laugh, and they nodded, understanding.
"Well…alright. Save us a slice of that food, and your outfit is so plain, here…put these on!" Rose demanded while sliding off her sliver rose ring, and owl necklace. I sighed and slipped them on. Rose smiled.
"There. All better…now, save us some food and put in a good word for Alice Kay?" Rose called, and I nodded.
"Okay! Have fun where ever you go." I replied.
"Thanks, and don't flirt with Alice's man." Rose joked as they both left. I laughed, and leaned on the counter staring at the wall. My head was filled with a bunch of jumbled thoughts. Mostly of Edward, and what's going on between us. I wanted to go home, and kiss him telling him I love him…but Edward needs to realize that mistakes come with consequences. I'm no longer that Bella. I'm now strong Bella, who doesn't take shit from anyone anymore. If Edward hurts me again, he's getting the divorce papers in the mail, end of story. I'm done with all the bullshit and fights. I can't take it anymore. It was making me crazy, and depressed. I hate feeling like that.
I snapped out of the trance and pulled out my phone. Maybe I should give Edward a call. Just to check up on him. Yeah, just to make sure he's okay.
I slowly dialed his number, and stared at the send button debating if I should or not. I pressed it and stared at it wide eyed. No going back now. I set the phone to my ear when I heard a woman answer.
"Hello?" a woman answered, and my heart broke. Did Edward have another woman over?
"Hello…it's Edward home?" I asked my hardest to be nice. Who the hell is she?
"Oh, no Edward isn't here at the time…who's calling?" she asked sweetly, and I gritted my teeth.
"Bella." I answered simply, and she chuckled.
"Hello Bella, I'm Janet. Shall I give Edward a message for you?" she offered, and I took a deep breath.
"Yeah…you can. Tell Edward that he should be expecting the papers in the mail. Thank you." I shouted, slamming my phone shut and throwing it on the floor. It didn't break but I heard a crack. I didn't care about my phone. I just cared, and wanted Edward, but he seemed to have interests in other things…things that weren't me.
I wiped the tear that slipped out away, and pushed myself off the counter. Jasper was coming here soon, and I have to keep it all together…for him. I don't want him to see me break down, but I feel like that's not an option anymore. I hurt now more than ever. If only I hadn't called Edward. I could have avoided this, but no I'm Isabella Cullen…a magnet to hurt, and destruction. I hate being a magnet….so much it killed me.
Edward
I was now walking up and down the aisles of the grocery store. We were running low on food in the house. I was constantly hungry and since I'm tired of all the microwavable foods, I hired a personal chef. She was at the house right now actually. She was making meat loaf. It was probably nowhere near Bella's meat loaf, but it's a start. She stayed at home while I shopped for the list of food she gave me. We already had green peppers, onions, and bread crumbs. She decided to stay and get in sense with my kitchen or something like that. It must be a chef type of thing…whatever.
I sighed as I grabbed the last things off the list, and went to checkout. The cashier looked young, and she kept eyeing me. I felt uncomfortable, but quickly paid and left. I grabbed the few bags, and walked to my Volvo that was parked nearby. I set the bags in the passenger seat before starting the car and driving home. I was there in exactly eleven minutes. I grabbed my bags, and locked up the car.
Once inside I heard Janet, the chef, doing something in the kitchen. I slipped off my shoes and walked into the kitchen setting the bags on the counter.
"Hello Janet, I got everything you needed. They didn't have any regular tomatoes, so I got you roman. That okay?" I asked, and she smiled.
"Yes, it fine…and thank you. Also someone named Bella called you while you were out." She stated, and I grabbed the bag of onions I was holding.
"Bella called?" I asked confused, and she nodded.
"Yeah, she told me to tell you to expect the papers in the mail. What papers?" she asked confused, and my whole word collapsed. Bella was divorcing me? Why…what did I do? I have to call her.
I ran into the living room, and grabbed the phone quickly typing in her cell number. I got voicemail.
"Hey this is Bella…I couldn't answer your call at the moment but I'll call you back A.S.A.P." I heard the beep and quickly rambled.
"Hey Bella…its Edward. Why…why are you doing this to me, to us? I don't want to get a divorce, I love you! What did I do wrong? Fuck Bella, I know I screwed up but why do you keep making me more and more miserable? I hate fighting with you, and I hate not being able to wake up to your face every morning. I miss you, I miss my son, and fuck…I miss my life. The life I had before I slept with Lauren. I'm trying here Bella. I'm trying so hard to earn your trust back and your love back but shit you have to put your weight into this relationship too. I've tried so hard Bella, but I feel like you're just toying with my heart. Yes, I know I deserve it, and I know I'm an asshole but why? Why are you doing all this? Don't you miss me just a little bit, because I miss you…a lot? I'm trying here Bella, but every time I take one step forward, you take a thousand steps back, and I can't take it anymore. I just want to be with you. Please believe when I say I miss you, and want you back. I'm hurting Bella, and nothing will fix it except having you in my arms again. Bella I love you…please just…Call me." I shouted into the phone as the tears formed in my eyes. I threw the phone on the ground, and gripped the ends of my hair tightly. I'm such a fuck up.
Bella
I quickly stood up as I heard the doorbell ring. Which only meant one thing…Jasper was here. I put on a big smile as I opened the door. Jasper was wearing dark blue jeans, and a light blue dress up shirt. The sleeves were pulled up to his elbows, and his shoes were black vans. His hair was sloppy, but complimented his eyes, and outfit.
"Hey Jazzy!" I said cheerfully, pulling him into a tight hug. He chuckled, and I smiled.
"Hey bells. You look…adorable." He complimented, and I blushed as we pulled away. He smiled at me, and I bit my lip.
"Thanks, you look great, but you didn't have to dress up." I said with a scowled, and he looked at his shoes.
"I realize that now. Sorry…I didn't know what to wear so I decided to play it safe. Half casual…half dressy." He finished, walking inside. I closed the door behind him, and giggled.
"Well…it's an amazing combination." I complimented, and she laughed.
"Thanks…where's the monkey?" he asked looking at me.
"He's standing in front of me." I joked, and he frowned.
"Hey. That's not nice." He said upset. I could tell he was playing around, and I giggled.
"Sorry to hurt your feelings…baby. Anyways, Anthony is watching cartoons." I said with a smile, and he smirked at me before walking into the living room. I followed as I saw Anthony hugging him.
"Uncle Jasper!" he shouted, and I giggled.
"Hey buddy…you look cute." He complimented, and Anthony blushed. Just like a mini me.
"I know." He joked, and we both laughed.
"Want to play superheroes with me?" Anthony asked sweetly, and jasper laughed.
"I'd love too, but maybe in a few minutes. I have to talk to mommy for a little bit." Jasper promised, and Anthony nodded before watching his show again. Jasper looked at me, and I motioned him to follow me into the bedroom. I slowly closed the door as Jasper made him comfortable on the bed.
"You wanted to talk?" he said slowly, and I nodded while sitting on the bed next to him.
"Yeah…well, a lots happened these past few weeks." I whispered as I looked at Jasper. He looked concerned, and I went on.
"I had a talk with Edward…well, a few actually." I confessed, and he looked at me with a blank expression.
"What about? Jasper asked simply, and I sighed.
"We talked about Anthony, and how he wants us to come home…and about us getting a divorce." I whispered as I felt tears in my eyes.
"It's going to be okay Bella." Jasper whispered as he grabbed my cheek. I shook my head furiously and pulled away.
"No Jasper, it's not! It's not going to be okay! Edward doesn't want me, not anymore. I was a terrible wife, and that's why he slept with Lauren, that's why he went to the club to sleep with another woman, and that's why there's another woman other at the house we picked out together, so no…it's not okay Jasper!" I snapped, and Jasper looked at me painfully.
"Bella…what are you talking about?" he whispered, slowly and I hung my head as the tears slipped out.
"I called. I called Edward an hour before you came over…a woman answered the phone. Jasper…there's another woman at our house right now and it's my fault. I drove him away." I whispered as I jasper pulled me into his arms and held me tight.
"Bella, I'm sorry. Out of all people, you're the one who doesn't deserve this." He whispered, and I shook my head.
"Just…stop Jasper. Stop saying sorry. Everybody is prancing around apologizing all the time, and I'm sick of it! I'm not some pity party that everybody has to be careful around all the time. I'm sick and tired of it." I shouted, and Jasper sighed.
"I didn't mean it like that Bella." He whispered, and I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"I know you didn't Jasper, but I'm dying here. Edward keeps killing me more, and more every day. I met up with him at the coffee shop yesterday. He was so loving and sweet. He was the old Edward I fell in love with. I was so close to forgiving him, no…I so badly wanted to, but I didn't. The reason I didn't…was because I was scared for Anthony. I didn't want him to get hurt like I did. "I whispered, and Jasper pulled the hair that fell down in my face back behind my ear.
"Bella…sometimes you need to put yourself out there, and risk yourself." Jasper whispered, and I shook my head.
"No, I don't want to risk Anthony on something as stupid as this. Honestly, if Anthony wasn't here, I probably would be home with Edward right now. I love him so much, and it kills me to know he doesn't feel the same." Jasper shook his head.
"No, Bella. Edward does love you. I saw it in his eyes every time you walked in the room when we hung out in college. He loves you Bella." He whispered, and I took a deep breath.
"I just wish it was me that was in bed with right now…not some whore." I gritted, and jasper chuckled.
"Bella, trust me…he loves you. Even if he's sleeping with some whore, he's thinking of you. I know it." He whispered, and I laughed.
"I want to think that, but why settle for the silver when you can have the gold?" I mumbled, and Jasper groaned.
"Not Bella, don't you understand? You arethe gold, better than gold. Your gold covered in diamonds, and rubies…plus more. You're better than any whore Edward sleeps with." Jasper whispered, and I nodded.
"Thank you Jazzy…for listening." I whispered while hugging him tightly. He hugged me back, and I smiled.
"Your welcome, I love you."
"Love you too, now…let's talk about you. What's up?" I asked, and he groaned.
"I went on a date last night?" he mumbled, and my eyes widened.
"You went on a date?" I asked in disbelief, and he nodded slowly staring at his lap.
"Yeah…her name is Kirsten, and I'm definitely notcalling her." He mumbled, and I laughed.
"Why not?"
"She's so clingy, and her voice is annoying…plus I think she wears more makeup than circus clowns." Jasper complained, and I laughed.
"Circus clowns…I don't think she wears that much." I got through laughs, and he shook his head.
"No, she did. Besides, I'm interested in somebody else." He whispered, and my jaw dropped.
"You are…who? Do I know her?" I asked, and he bit his lip.
"Um…its sort of your friend Alice." He said slowly, and I squealed.
"What?" he asked and I smiled huge.
"She likes you too! She wouldn't shut up about you after you left with Anthony." I shouted, and he looked at me like I had two heads.
"Really…that's great, I can't believe it." He said slowly, and I giggled.
"Well, believe it. She's nuts about you." I stated, and he smiled big.
"I hope…she's so beautiful Bella."
"I know she is, and you'll be so cute together." I told him, and he nodded.
"Thanks…I appreciate it; I just wish I knew how to ask her out. When I'm around her I freeze up." He mumbled, and I bit my lip.
"Don't worry about it, she'll say yes. Plus, Alice loves fashion, and yellow roses. Do something with that." I told him, and he hugged me.
"Thank you Bella. I don't know what I'd do without you." He whispered, and I smiled.
"You're welcome Jasper." I whispered before pulling away.
The talk with Jasper somewhat helped, but I still don't know what do. Edward was so confusing. I thought he loved me, yet again there's a woman at his house. Fuck, I'm so screwed up. I do know one thing though…I'm new and approved. I let Edward's mistakes build me up to become stronger. I'm now…bionic…And we have Edward to thank.
"Let's eat." I whispered, as I walked out into the kitchen with Jasper following. I felt something under my feet as I walked and saw that it was my phone. 1 voicemail.
"Hold on…I got to check this. Do you mind getting the food out of the oven?" I asked Jasper sweetly.
"Sure, no problem." He replied, and I thanked him before walking into Rose's bedroom, and called my voicemail.
"Hey Bella…its Edward. Why…why are you doing this to me, to us? I don't want to get a divorce, I love you! What did I do wrong? Fuck Bella, I know I screwed up but why do you keep making me more and more miserable? I hate fighting with you, and I hate not being able to wake up to your face every morning. I miss you, I miss my son, and fuck…I miss my life. The life I had before I slept with Lauren. I'm trying here Bella. I'm trying so hard to earn your trust back and your love back but shit you have to put your weight into this relationship too. I've tried so hard Bella, but I feel like you're just toying with my heart. Yes, I know I deserve it, and I know I'm an asshole but why? Why are you doing all this? Don't you miss me just a little bit, because I miss you…a lot? I'm trying here Bella, but every time I take one step forward, you take a thousand steps back, and I can't take it anymore. I just want to be with you. Please believe when I say I miss you, and want you back. I'm hurting Bella, and nothing will fix it except having you in my arms again. Bella I love you…please just…Call me."By the end of the voicemail, I was sobbing. I didn't mean to cause Edward so much pain or any pain at all. I took a shaky breath as I found Edward's name in my contact book, and pressed send.
"What?" Edward asked in a dreadful voice. I froze.
"Hello, who the fuck is this?" Edward asked harshly, and I frowned.
"Edward…its Bella. I just called to say I'm sorry for causing you so much pain, and that I'm letting it all go. I'm taking the pain away by…letting you free. You said you didn't want to feel pain anymore, and I'm giving you what you want. I'm sorry Edward…this is all my fault." I whispered, before hanging up the phone, and throwing it on the bed. I watched as the screen lit up, telling me somebody was calling me. Probably Edward. I grabbed the phone, and answered.
"Listen Edward, I gave you what you want, and if you're not happy then I don't give a damn. Not everything revolves around you. You don't just get what you want." I snapped, and Edward responded.
"Bella, what the fuck did I do? You were fine at breakfast yesterday, and you call me saying you're divorcing me for no reason. God, your mood swings are giving me whiplash." He yelled into the phone, and I gripped the blanket tightly.
"My mood swings Edward? Fuck you. Even if I did have mood swings, it's you too blame. You want to know why I'm divorcing you. Well here it is…I called you Edward. I called you earlier to say that I wanted to work this out for the both of us, but some woman answered the phone. Already on your second fuck? Isn't Lauren enough for you?" I snapped.
"Janet? That's what this is about. God Bella, I thought for you being a teacher you'd be somewhat smart." Edward insulted, and I snapped.
"Well fuck you Edward, I'm done. Don't call me, don't come here, and don't even fucking think about me. I wanted to come home, but not If you're doing this shit to me. I'm sorry Edward, but I'm fucking done. You had my heart…but your broke it and I don't know if it'll ever work again." I whispered while silently sobbing.
"No Bella, I'm sorry for calling you stupid, but you have to understand."
"No, I don't want to understand Edward. What's there to understand anyways? You cheated on me, end of story." I snapped, and Edward sighed.
"Janet…I'm not sleeping with her." Edward whispered, and I shook my head.
"Yeah, right….but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Your practically a free man to sleep with whoever you want, and love whoever you want." I gritted into the phone before snapping it shut. I walked into the bathroom angry before opening the toilet lid, and looking at the water for a second. I dropped my phone in the water and watched as the screen shut off.
"Opps." I mumbled before turning off the light, and slamming the door.
I'm done with Edward Cullen. So fucking done.
Sad, and long. My longest chapter yet, but don't you just want to slap Bella? She didn't give Edward a chance to explain, but don't worry…more juiciness is coming up in chapter 12.
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Outfits are on my profile.
SPOILER:Edward is going to show up at the house next chapter and some violence is going to occur.
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Also i'm sorry if something are messed up. The chapter uploaded funny, and I had to fix it. Thanks.
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