Broken
Bella-
my eyes slowly fluttered open, and I observed my surroundings. It was the same softly decorated bedroom I had left weeks ago. My bedroom. Not at Rose's, or Jasper's...or even Alice's house. I was in mine, and Edward's bedroom, we shared for so many nights. The nights I would get cold, and he'd pull me close. The nights were he would hold me tightly against his chest, and I felt his breath on my neck. Those nights were...he'd tell me how much he'd love me, and kiss me tenderly before sending me off to a sweet sleep. I miss those days.
I sat up straight, stretching my arms above my arm, and yawning. I wasn't in my dress or heels anymore. I was in Edward's old baseball shirt, and a pair of basketball shorts. They were extremely baggy, but very comfortable. Wait...i fell asleep, that only mean...Edwardchanged me last night! Shit, he probably raped me with his eyes. Sure, I'm still his wife, and I love him...but after everything That's gone on...i don't feel comfortable with him dressing me.
I suddenly felt very naked, even though I was fully clothed and nobody was around. I felt on display for some reason, knowing Edward must have changed me. Stop Bella! You're being stupid. He's your husband! You love him. You had a child with him! Relax!
I sighed, and bit the nail on my thumb as I stretched my legs before walking into the living room. I was greeted with the smell of my favorite breakfast; blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, and crispy bacon. Mm, it's like an orgasm in my nose.
Edward was standing behind the stove, scrambling eggs. He still hadn't noticed me, so I just took a seat in a chair at the dinning room table. I could see him from afar, and he looked adorable. He was wearing a white wife beater, and a pair of black sweat pants. Could he look anymore...adorable, cute...hot? Damn, I'm acting as if its a school crush, and I've been married to him for almost six years!
I finally got tired of just watching him, so I walked up behind him, and wrapped my arms around his waist. He gently jumped, and relaxed when he saw that it was me. He smiled, and I rested my head on his back.
"Hey. Good morning, love. I've made your favorite breakfast. It'll be done in a sec." he told me, over his shoulder. I kissed his back softly, and smiled big into his back. I squeezed him tightly before pulling away. I heard him groan quietly, and I chuckled. I sat down at the table, and he gracefully came over with a pan full of eggs. He carefully scraped a few on my plate, and a few on his own. I smiled, and he placed one pancake on my plate, and drenched it in blueberry syrup, and a scoop of butter. He then place two strips of bacon on my plate, and poured me a glass of chocolate milk. I moaned as I smelt the food in front of me. I quickly took a bite of my pancake, and moaned even louder. Edward just stared at me, jaw dropped in lust. I looked at him confused, and he just shrugged.
I just ignored it, and quickly finished my food. After I was full, I only had half a pancake, a strip of bacon, and a bite of eggs left on my plate. My milk was gone, and my stomach was full. Edward just smiled at me as he finished off his eggs. His plate was empty, of course. He picked up my plate, and his and began cleaning them in the sink.
"Edward, please. You cooked, I should be cleaning." I protested, trying to take the dishes away. He gently pushed me away, and smiled sweetly at me as I frowned.
"No, Bella. You already do too much, besides...I've been a huge screw up lately. Let me do this." he begged, and I still refused. Edward groaned.
"Bella! Please!" he said louder, and I just stared at him in shock. His eyes lightened up, and I bit my lip.
"Alright. Fine. But next time, I swear I'm cleaning!" I argued, and he chuckled loudly as he set the freshly rinsed dishes in the dish washer.
"if you say so." that caused me to frown. I knew he just said it to get rid of me, but I didn't feel like arguing. We were finally getting along, and I didn't want this to end. The sweet talk, the gestures...it was so...perfect. I miss this Edward. So much.
"So um...how did I get into these clothes?" I asked casually, and Edward have me a sheepish look.
"I uh...changed you. I hope you don't mind. You just looked so uncomfortable in your dress, and I wanted you to sleep peacefully, so I uh...changed you into some of my old clothes. I kept your under garments on, of course, and I quickly changed you. Please, don't be mad at me. I just trying to make it a peaceful sleep. Shit, I shouldn't have changed you, I'm sorry. I just..." I cut him off from rambling by pressing my lips to his. I wasn't think when I did it, and sure didn't regret it. It was one of the best kisses so far. His lips were so warm, and soft. I never wanted to pull away. When I did, I missed them on mine.
"Don't worry, Edward. I'm not mad. At first I was a little uncomfortable about it...but it's fine, really. You're my husband, and I trust you. Sure, these past few were rocky, but we can get through this. Really, we can. Well...we can try. I want to try, Edward. I'm tired of feeling alone, and scared to come home because I'm worried that you'll move onto somebody else like you should." I whispered, and Edward just stared at me, confused. He cupped my cheek in his palm, and looked at me lovingly.
"Oh, Bella. Sweet, sweet Bella. You're so...selfless. You put my feelings before you're own, when in reality...you shouldn't even give me the time of day. I've fucked up. Badly. So badly, I'm surprised you're standing here right now. Bella...I love you, and I'll never stop. You, and Anthony are the best thing That's ever happened to me. I want to get through this too. It kills me, trying to reach for you when I lay in bed, and knowing that you're probably cold, and alone in a bed at Rose's. I remember how you'd get so cold in bed, even when you have two blankets covering you. God, you're adorable." he said sweetly, and I smiled big, looking at him under my lashes.
"Edward...I miss you" I admitted, and he smiled, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I miss you too, Bella. So much." he whispered, grabbing my hand, and kissing the palm of my hand. I smiled.
"Remember on our wedding day? You couldn't see the bride, because it was bad luck...so you wrote me a note, and slipped it under the door." I whispered, chuckling. Edward smiled big, and I bit my lip.
"yeah, I remember. I couldn't spend another second without talking to you...and that was the only way I could." he whispered, and I laughed into his chest.
"I still have that letter." I whispered, and Edward nodded.
"Why?"
"because, it's important to me. It showed me how much you truly loved me." I whispered, and Edward sighed.
"I'll always loved you, Bella. You have my heart, so please take good care of it." he whispered, quoting his letter. I smiled as I remembered when I got the letter.
Flashback
I was extremely nervous, and anxious. I was getting married to the love of my life, Edward Cullen in less then ten minutes. In five minutes, I won't be Isabella Swan, the shy, geeky girl everybody picked on in high school. I'll be Isabella Cullen, the shy, geeky girl, that was in love with the man everybody wanted as their husband. I was lucky enough to snag Edward. He was perfect, in every way.
"Bella, stop pacing! You'll see Edward in less than ten minutes!" Rose complained, and I threw my hands up in the air.
"Well, I haven't seen him in three days, what do you expect? Me to be all happy, and cheerful that I haven't even spoken to my fiancee in seventy-two hours?" I shouted, and Rose sighed.
"I know Bella. And I understand, really...i do. But at least calm down...I'm going to go check on the boys." she told me, before leaving. I then began hyperventilating, and taking deep breaths. I checked myself in the mirror once more, making sure my outfit was perfect. There was a small knock on the door. I went to open it, but something was causing it to not open. I began tugging, and pulling when a piece of paper was slipping under the door. I picked it up, and my eyes watered as I read the note.
Dear Bella Swan (Soon to be Cullen),
Rose demanded that it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, but the suspense was killing me. I'm not asking to see you, but I at least want to talk to you! Emmett took away my phone, and thought that this was the only way. I've written this letter to let you know that I have no regrets on today. I'm one hundred percent, ready to go through with this, and make you Mrs. Isabella Cullen. God, Isabella Cullen. I love saying that.
I love you, Bella. My heart aches for you, just hearing your name. You're my heart, my soul, my world...my everything. I promise to try my best at being a wonderful husband, and hopefully you won't regret today. I'll understand if you have regrets, and want to cancel the wedding. It'll break my heart, but I'll be okay with it. I just want you to be happy, and if canceling will make you happy, then do it. I just want your happiness.
After we say our vows, everything that is mine...is yours. My house, my money, my car, my attention, and most importantly...my heart. Bella, I'm giving you my heart, so please take good care of it.
I love you, so much.
Love, you're soon to be husband,
Edward. XOXO
my eyes watered as I quickly grabbed a pen and paper off the desk, and wrote a small note.
Dear my loving Fiancee,
of course I don't have any regrets. I want to get married to you, today, and have little Edward cull ens running around our dream house. I want to die old with you Edward, and know that I've done my best being a loving wife, and possibly a loving mother. You're my everything Edward.
I'm not very good at writing stuff like this, but I want you to know that you have my heart as well. It might be a little damaged, and torn up, but it still works and beats just for you.
Just promise me one thing.
You'll never love another girl besides me?
Love,
Bella Cullen. XXX
I quickly slipped my pen, and paper under the door. I heard Edward chuckled, and choke on a sob as he shoved the paper back under.
I can't promise you that.
My heart stopped, and I wrote quickly.
Why not?
A tear fell on the paper as I slipped it back under.
Because the other girl I love, will be with us in a few years. She's going to look just like you, and call you mommy.
Please, don't cry love...you know I hate it when you cry.
I smiled as I finished my letter.
I love you, Edward. You have my heart, so please don't break it. XXX
End of flashback
"I want you too see Anthony today." I whispered, and Edward froze.
"you sure?" he asked, sweetly. I smiled big, and nodded.
"Yes, I'm very sure. He misses you. He never stops talking about you."
"Really?" he asked, excited. I chuckled.
"yes, you're his inspiration Edward." I whispered, kissing him softly.
"Fuck, Bella...I'm sorry for everything." he whispered against my lips.
"it's forgivable. I'm starting to forgive you a little more, everyday." I whispered before kissing him deeply.
Good, or bad? Review. -madi