A/N: iheartmwpp: This suggestion came from CorieOreo and was also slightly inspired by Schmo and Sushi…sorry, but I just like this one better than the Happy Happy Joy Joy song.

On another note, I got a call from Raven yesterday. She's doing great; she was in Ireland at the time, though whether she's still there or has gone to the United Kingdom already, I have no idea. Hehe, the only reason she called me was because her parents' caller ID stopped her from calling, so she wanted me to tell them how she was doing. She'll be back in August, so we'll get back to writing the actual plot by around December. Okay, maybe October.

Peter: This movie has a plot?! And why are you writing about Raven anyway, it's not like the readers actually care about her or anything.

iheartmwpp: But I miss her! (starts bawling) Raven, come back!

Peter: Oh, go read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows or something.

iheartmwpp: (sniffs) But it's not out till Saturday!

Peter: Then just write another freaking chapter!

iheartmwpp: You're mean! (goes in her room and cries more)

Yeah, that entire fake conversation was utterly pointless, but I'm bored…

Disclaimer: The characters are C. S. Lewis's and the song is Liam Lynch's.

Chapter 28: The Happy Song

Susan walked into Edmund's tent for the fifteenth time since the Bitch left. "Are you all right—"

"YES I'M ALL RIGHT! DAMN IT WOMAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP ASKING ME! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT'LL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Then Ed was struck with a brilliant idea. Lucy, who was following Susan around and waiting for the opportunity to hack her up with a chainsaw, chucked a rock at Edmund's head. Ed picked it up and read the note attached to it.

"Try singing that happy song that was on Youtube," the note said.

"Hmm. Okay." So Edmund began to sing.

"I am really special cuz there's only one of me.

Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, other people are jealous of me.

When I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song.

It cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long.

Oh oh oh

I'm so happy, I can barely breathe.

Puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kittens, baby teeth."

For some bizarre reason, as Edmund sang the last line, a bunch of puppies, frogs coated in sugar, kittens, and some baby teeth paraded behind him. The sisters raised their eyebrows. Edmund noticed none of this and continued his song.

"Watch out all you mothers, I'm happy it's hardcore,

Happy as a coupon for a twenty dollar whore.

Hahahaha

I'm really happy, I'm sugar coated me.

Happy good, anger bad, that's my philosophy."

Edmund glanced up at his sisters. "I can't do this, man, I'm not happy." Lucy urged him on behind Susan. Edmund sighed and started singing again.

"I am really special, cuz there's only one of me

Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, other people are jealous of me

These are my love handles, and this is my spout,

But if you tip me over, then Mama said knock you out"

Edmund bent over, clutching his stomach with a pained expression on his face.

"I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave

Welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave"

The key changed.

"I am happy, I am good, I am..."

"I'm outta here!" cried Edmund, pushing his sisters aside and leaving his tent. "Screw you!"

Lucy was so angry that he didn't completely follow her suggestion that she threw her chainsaw at his head. She was then forced to clean up the blood as punishment for killing off one of the main characters.

A/N: The next two songs I'm thinking of are ones that I don't think anyone's thought of yet, so it'll be a bit of a surprise. Now what happened to that chainsaw…?

Peter: (sweatdrop)