A/N: Did anyone else read the last Harry Potter book yet? OMG IT'S AMAZINGFUL!!!! But I have no one to talk to about it which makes me sad and stuff, so if any of you want to talk about it or want to put up with me complaining about certain bits, PM me or e-mail me via the iheartmwpp screenname, cuz I don't have access to the KellySquared e-mail account, that's Raven's XD.

And now, the thingy that you actually wanted. Oh, and I also made some changes to Chapter 20 to make it slightly more readable, it was a bit trickier before cuz the format was messed up, but it should work better now.

Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C. S. Lewis and the If You Were Gay song belongs to Avenue Q.

Chapter : If You Were Gay

Oreius sighed as he leaned back in his chair. "Aah," he sighed. "An afternoon alone with my favorite book, Broadway Musicals of the 1940s. No humans to bother me. How could it get any better than this?"

Edmund walked into the tent. "Oh, hi Oreius!" he greeted.

"Hi, Edmund," muttered the centaur dispassionately.

Edmund came up to Oreius and sat down in the chair beside him. "Hey, Oreius, you'll never guess what happened to me in the forest this morning. This fawn was smiling at me and talking to me—"

Oreius turned a page in his book. "That's very interesting."

"He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!"

"Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?"

Edmund cocked his head at the centaur. "Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Oreius..."

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!" Oreius realized that he was yelling and quickly tried to compose himself. "What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read." He turned back to his book.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Oreius; I just think it's something we should be able to talk about."

"Well I don't want to talk about it, Edmund. This conversation is over!"

"Yeah, but..."

"Over!"

Edmund leaned back. "Well, okay, but just so you know—

If you were gay,

That'd be okay.

I mean 'cause hey,

I'd like you anyway.

Because you see,

If it were me,

I would feel free to say that I was gay

But I'm not gay."

Oreius tried to ignore this sudden outburst of song. "Edmund, please. I am trying to read."

Edmund smirked at him.

Oreius stared at him. "What?"

"If you were queer,"

Oreius rolled his eyes. "Edmund…"

"I'd still be here,"

"Edmund, I'm trying to read this book."

"Year after year,"

"Edmund!"

"Because you're dear to me."

Oreius put his head in his hands. "Arrgh!"

"And I know that you"

Oreius looked up then. "What?"

"Would accept me too"

"I would?"

"If I told you today

'Hey, guess what? I'm gay!'

But I'm not gay.

I'm happy just being with you,"

For no real reason, Oreius said "High button shoes, Pal Joey—"

"So what should it matter to me

What you do in bed with guys?"

Oreius blanched. "Edmund! That is wrong!"

Edmund laughed. "No it's not!

If you were gay,

I'd shout HOORAY!"

"I am not listening!"

"And here I'd stay"

"La la la la la!"

"But I wouldn't get in your way."

Oreius screamed in frustration.

"You can count on me

To always be

Beside you everyday

To tell you 'It's okay,

You were just born that way'"

Here, Edmund paused to motion out of the tent, at two male centaurs making out in full view of the camp.

"And, as they say,

It's in your D.N.A.

You're gay!"

"I AM NOT GAY!" screamed Oreius.

Edmund nodded knowingly. "But if you were gay—"

Oreius screamed again and galloped out of the tent.

Edmund raised an eyebrow. "Wonder what was bothering him?" he said to himself, before picking up the book Oreius had left behind and starting to read.