Disclaimer: Not affiliated with Dan Schneider or Viacomm, the true owners of Drake and Josh. (sigh!)

Rating: T - for adult situations (het/slash/love triangle)

TRIANGLE

Chapter 5. - Revelations

Josh's speech had left Drake and Mindy stunned. Mindy was the first to hop up and run to the bedroom door.

"Josh, let me in! Please!" she cried, as she turned the doorknob and pushed, without result.

"He's blocking the door!"

Mindy slumped down, pressing her ear to the wood veneer.

Drake rushed over and tried the same thing. He knocked softly.

"Ssssh! Listen!" insisted Mindy.

Drake, standing, pressed his ear to the door.

"He must have gone to sleep," Mindy said. "I can hear him. It's that little sound he makes when he's breathing –

"—with his mouth open."

Mindy smoothed her wrinkled dress over knees. Drake sat down beside her.

"Eric said the best thing would be to let Josh sleep it off. That Ruhipna: it's sold as a sleep aid."

"How can we be sure he's alright?"

"If he stops breathing, I'll force my way in. You sit there and keep listening, while I go outside and take a look at the window. These doors and walls and everything are old and thin. I keep telling Josh to get a bigger, better place but -"

"- he likes to save his money for a rainy day!"

Drake nodded and left on his mission. When he returned ten minutes later through the patio doors, Mindy said, "I didn't know you smoked."

"Only in times of serious stress. Since I was out there, I figured I'd have a puff."

Drake sat down on the floor next to Mindy. "There's a lot we don't know about each other."

"We have our long history of mutual hatred!" Mindy shifted so she could face Drake and still keep her ear against the door. "I'm surprised Eric knew so much about the Roofies. And even more surprised he was so chatty."

"Craig was locked in the bathroom bawling his eyes out – because he dropped his wedding band down the sink! Eric was waiting for the hotel to send up a plumber when I called. He'd just gotten off the phone with both of their mothers, discussing the Maury incident. And Eric's mother is a nurse. She works at the same hospital as Trevor's mom." Drake was careful not to bring up Scottie, Trevor's brother.

"What was that boy Maury thinking?"

"What I want to know is what was JOSH thinking? I'm going to make an appointment for him with the family shrink. He won't want to go but we have to make him, Mindy. We have to get to the bottom of this."

"I agree. If Josh doesn't remember the things he said, do you think we should bring it up?"

"No! It would just set off another chain reaction in his mind, worrying that he let something like that slip out, then worrying some more about how we took it. Let it come out through the therapy."

"I think you're right about that. But if it doesn't seem to helping, then we've got to talk to him about it. I can no longer imagine my life without Josh in it."

"When did you first know that you were in love with Josh?"

"I started noticing Josh when I kept beating him at the Science Fair. He was so happy with that big magnet. I wished I could be happy like that. Then, during my stay at the 'Wacky Hut,' the ladies and gentlemen in white coats helped me clarify a lot of things in my head. That's when I knew I wanted Josh for a boyfriend. While we were dating, I thought I was in love with him, but I had nothing to compare. So it wasn't until after college that I was absolutely sure. You?"

"It was gradual for me, too. I probably started falling for him the minute I saw him in that god-awful orange dress. I never met anyone who wanted to help others so much that they'd put themselves out there like that. Um, you did know about that Miss Nancy thing?"

"He mentioned that – the dress, I mean, and I thought he was kidding!"

"We used to call each other 'Nance' and 'Fance,' our secret nicknames. That's what's on my tattoo. I'd show it to you, but it's on my ass."

"TMI, TMI! I wish we knew why Josh thinks we're going to leave him."

"Because we're always telling him how fed up we are having to share him. Because we have left him in the past! I was with Belinda for close to two years. We almost got married. And I was awful to him when we were growing up in so many ways. I made out with girls right in front of him, deliberately, to make him jealous. I have regrets. But of course the single biggest one was forcing him to go over to your house that night and make up with you. If it wasn't for me, you two would never have gotten back together the first time."

"It stabs me in the heart every time you're back! Josh shifts his schedule, so all he and I have are long lunches, matinees and unexpected trysts."

Mindy observed Drake's blank look.

"Trysts – it's a polite way to say getting together for sex. Sometimes he comes over straight from the gym."

"Ugh! I hate that when he comes in from running and gets me in a headlock!"

"He, uh, never does that to me."

"Oh."

Drake busied himself rolling up his shirtsleeves to cover the awkward pause. He stood up, hugging himself, and walked up and down the hall.

"You hate it when I'm around? Well, know this: it's the same for me. When I'm away, he sends me an email every day. Some of them are sweet and goofy. Others are straight up LOLs. The greatest ones are so steamy they melt my eyes! Then all I crave is the sound of his voice and some hot phone sex." Drake was walking around the room, gesturing with his hands.

"I go crazy when I'm calling in from East Bumfuck and I end up with voicemail. I beg him to join me on the road and he says he can't because he's got 'writing deadlines.' He came on tour with me one time and hated it. I thought, since he's a writer, that he could write anywhere. He said he couldn't fit in and felt useless. So off I go, on my own, all the while knowing that he's with you!"

"Josh was my first."

"Mine, too. The first and only guy. You can't say that."

"That's rich – coming from a man-whore!"

"I'm pickier than you think."

Mindy raised her hands and said, "Stop! We're making some progress here. Let's not get sidetracked into an argument."

"Okay." Drake cooled off and returned to his space on the floor next to Mindy "I'd like to know, er, to ask you, what do you DO with Josh?

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh! I didn't mean that! I meant, generally, what do the two of you do?

"We go to museums, art galleries, wine and cheese tastings. That's the only time Josh allows himself to eat cheese any more, because of the fat content. We take walks and watch the sunset. We discuss books we've read."

"So he does all the serious stuff with you and all the fun stuff with me?"

"We are having fun when we do those things, Drake."

"Then let's say he does what you're interested in when you're together and he does what I'm interested in when he's with me."

"He cooks for me. I'm terrible at it."

"Me, too. I'd probably starve if he didn't cook. I'd have to live on hot dogs and microwave stuff. Did he ever make chicken paillard for you?"

"A number of times."

"That's one of my favorites. And the brownies."

"There's this thing he does, and I love it and think it's absolutely adorable, when he's baking something or has to leave something on the stove to cook for a while." Mindy's nose crinkled and she smiled as she spoke. "If he doesn't need to stand over the dish, he comes out of the kitchen and takes his apron off and turns up the radio and starts dancing around the room!"

"I know! He lip-synchs the song and acts it out! What's your favorite?"

"It's an oldie by Tom Jones. I don't know the title but the chorus goes 'Am I tough enough?' He flails around and makes these incredible faces."

"My fave is one by Queen: 'Somebody to Love.' He does all the parts and hams it way up. He grabs the big pepper mill to use for a mic. By the time he's finished we're both in hysterics. And sneezing our heads off!"

"I like it when he picks me up and twirls me around."

"Ah! Good times." Drake smiled and enjoyed a montage of memories.

"My turn to ask a question. What do YOU do with Josh?"

"We go out to hear live music a lot. We play video games. He's improved so much on Guitar Hero – but he'll never match my score. Sometimes we go to the beach or hang by the pool. When we stay in, we watch movies, TV. We become one with the couch and I eat all the junk food I want while he eats those heinous rice cakes."

"I know! He puts jelly on them, but it's still like chewing Styrofoam!"

"Excuse me - those things will never get past these lips!"

Drake went into the kitchen and came back with a box of Cheez-Its. He poured some into Mindy's lap, sat down, and started to munch by the handful.

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Drake crumpled up the empty box of Cheez-Its.

"I've always wondered, why did you try to frame me when you put Mrs. Hafer's car in the classroom?"

"She already hated you, so you'd be the first person she'd suspect."

"I see!"

"Actually, there's more to it than that." Mindy hesitated. "For a brief period of time, I kind of had a crush on you." Mindy ate a few crackers while she thought. "I knew I wasn't like the bevy of girls that surrounded you. I figured there could never be anything between us. Because I felt rejected, even though you never said or did anything wrong, I started to dislike you. It made me mad, seeing how you just coasted through, and got away with so much. Also, you and Josh were together all the time. With you suspended, I could make my move on him. I went to private schools and girls' boarding schools all my life until high school. I had built up this rosy picture of what public school would be like. When it wasn't, it sent me off the rails."

Drake knew that it took courage for Mindy to open up that way. "We aren't each other's types. I'd end up snoring at the opera during the first act. You would be bored silly if you had to sit and tell me how great my hair looks and watch me tune my guitar. You're an attractive woman. But, thanks to Megan, I have a lasting fear of any female who's smart and assertive."

Drake had long cherished the theory that Mindy had once been attracted to him and he felt vindicated. He decided to make his own admission.

"You know earlier when Josh was rambling on about a 3-way? That was the drug talking. Josh vetoed the idea flat out when I first brought it up. He said you'd never consider it and that it would make you feel vulnerable. He and I both knew that wasn't your scene. I was just messing with him. Josh is very proud of you, and protective. The picture he carries in his wallet is the one of you wearing your hard hat, the first female structural engineer at your company."

"Josh keeps telling me how smart you are. He's always humming and singing your songs to himself."

"Really?"

"He quotes the lyrics and uses your music to make his point. He thinks you have good business instincts."

Drake beamed.

"What did you think of Josh's book?" asked Mindy.

"I'm not exactly a reader. Especially when it comes to children's fantasy. I have my own autographed copy, though!" Drake retrieved the book from the shelf and handed it to Mindy.

"I didn't read it, either, and I don't know why. Josh is always supportive of the work we do, and this is his work. Scottie was right about us."

"True that. No wonder poor Joshie's had a writer's block for four months."

Drake fetched two bottles of water from the refrigerator. "Wet your whistle and start reading that book to me."

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Several hours later Mindy shut the book. Drake had a lump in his throat and suddenly felt a hot stinging in his eyes. He buried his face in the crook of his arm.

Mindy was equally touched. "I can't read any more or I'll start crying. That was beautiful, and frightening, and totally amazing. This is a good place to stop, at the entrance to the Cave of Secrets. At least we got past the Well of Sadness."

Drake sniffed and said, "How do you like that: Josh's book tells the story of two stepbrothers on an epic quest in order to save their kingdom. Then there's brave Princess Yndim. Those are the letters of your name. We both should have read this book when it was published."

"He used a lot of personal symbolism," croaked Mindy, unable to read more. She was stiff in every joint, disheveled and tired. The book and the night itself had been a long journey of discovery. It was dark yet, but the morning would be coming soon. Birds were starting to welcome the dawn with song.

Mindy set the book aside and said, "We've both been so busy being jealous about the times we aren't with Josh, we've forgotten to cherish and appreciate him during the times we are with him."

"Do you think that's why he tricked us into going to the wedding as a trio?"

Mindy was so tired, she leaned her face against the door to think about what Drake had asked her. Her eyes opened wide. "Drake - I don't hear Josh breathing now!"

Drake opened the bedroom door without resistance. He and Mindy peered into the soft darkness. While they had been engrossed in the book, Josh had gone to bed, semi-conscious, scattering his clothes at random.

"We've got a lot to think about. I don't think my brain can handle any more revelations for the time being. We're both exhausted. I could make up the couch for you. Or would you prefer to go home in a cab?"

"I'm not leaving, Drake. Not now. And I'm not sleeping on the couch."

Continued in Chapter 6