Sorry this is such a slow updater. In all honesty, this started as something to break up writer's block, and it's not really an 'update priority'. But I promise you I'll make it to fifty oneshots, how does that sound? 50, baby! FIFTY!
…Too excited?
Pairing: Suicune x Raikou

"Shitake, that's some dirty water," Raikou blinked. "I say we just let them rot in their dirty water. They screwed it up. They screwed it up all by themselves so they should have to clean it up. No pokémon live here anyway. So why can't we leave? There's fried cheese at the Legendary Seminar! Don't you want some? It's tasty and fried and it makes your arteries scream for mercy. Nothing like fried cheese."

She glared at him, an invisible wind blowing her long purple hair and white silken ribbons. "Thinking with your stomach and not with your heart, and you expect me to become more than friends with you? No thanks, you overgrown battery. I'm going to go fix the water, despite the fact they got it dirty, despite the fact it's their own problem. Then, I'm going to go someplace all isolated and I'm going to hope and wish that these creatures will learn how to keep their water clean and make a town that's habitable to something other than grimer and muk."

"They never learn."

"Some do."

"Most don't," He growled. "I want to leave! Come on!"

"This, good sir, is not your job. Nothing is holding you here, nothing but you has to make the choice. My job is to keep the water clean no matter that what's and why's and you be damned if you think for a second I won't help those that need it most."

"You're such a woman," He muttered crossly, singing to his stomach. "Keep on fixing things that don't need to be fixed. Sometimes it takes a little zap for the mouse to find the cheese."

"Are you comparing a small shock, a practically static shock to a mouse's nose to the death of hundreds or thousands of creatures?"

"Well, when you put it that way it just sounds cruel." Raikou muttered, scratching his creamy belly with a hind paw.

"And what way could you put it that makes it acceptable?"

"Sometimes it just takes a little zap for the mouse to find the cheese," he repeated in a cheery voice. "See how much better things sound when you're happy?"

"You are a twisted creature, Raikou," Suicune shook her head. "Have you no conscience?"

"My job is to burn forests so new trees can rise from the ashes. I wouldn't say I don't have a conscience. I'd say plan for the future, see what has to go wrong now for a better tomorrow. If you leave now and let a few die you'll be amazed at how fast the lake will clean up."

"Raikou! Those are human lives!"

"I prefer to think of them as Sims."

"You're disgusting," She snapped. He farted as if to prove it. "Raikou! Grow up!"

"I will if you will."

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean? I think I'm much more mature than that fart you just ripped." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Disgusting."

"Only a child believes in fairy tales and dreams," Raikou smiled. "The fairy tale of a clean world, it's cute. It'll never happen, but it's cute. After all, have you ever stopped to think what would happened if the world was without war, disease, famine, or even dirty water?" He used a front paw to scratch behind his ears. "You'd be out of a job. What happens when you're out of a job, Sui? You remember? Arceus told us way back at the beginning of time."

She swallowed. "I'll turn back to win and water; you'll turn back to lightning; and Entei will be all he ever was: an idea."

"Happiness and perfection means you die. The world can't be perfect, shouldn't be perfect because we would fade. We're here because we're needed, why would you want that to stop?"

She turned to him. "I understand what you mean, Raikou. I also know that people shouldn't die do to your own selfish devices. My job is the same as yours, Raikou, to help. But I help in a different way then you. Bother are equally effective. Don't tell me how to do my job because I don't tell you how to do yours."

They were quiet for a moment, nothing but polluted water slapping on the shore. The sounds of a steel mill in the distance whirred and grinded, a few loud bangs exploded through the silence. Then, almost too quiet to hear, came the sound of a splash. Not a big splash, like a land creature had dived in, but a small one. It sounded almost like a…

"A fish?" Suicune blinked.

"Can I eat it? Fry it up with some cheese and-"

"No!" She snapped, exasperated. "You heartless old dog! It's probably too polluted for you to eat anyway. But…it's alive. Something's living in this water! Everything's polluted wasteland, life still pushes through."

"We can take bets on how long it'll last. Starting a pool with the other Legendaries could be fun. Imagines the prizes."

"Insensitive jerk," She growled. "I hate you."

"Date me," He begged, rolling on his back and pawing at the air. "Look how cute I am! I've got claws and jaws and big, manly paws."

"Full of yourself, aren't you?"

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and bright!" He sang, rolling onto his front and shaking his mammoth head.

"Anything else?"

"You're beautiful in the moonlight," He complimented. "That cheesy, cheesy goodness of the moon would taste so good if only you fried it."

She snorted. "Point taken, I'll do this fast."

And one delicate paw sat upon the clearing water.

Future Pairings:

Drew's Masquerain and May's Beautifly
Deoxys and Rayquaza
Jirachi/Celebi
Azelf/Glameow
Totodile x Bulbasaur
Team RaiderxTeam Charm (Gallade/Gardevoir, Roserade/Medicham, and Rhyperior/Lopunny)
Lugia x Ho-oh
Lugia x Articuno
Raikou x Moltres
Jolteon x Absol
Piplup x Turtwig
Deoxys x Mewtwo
Darkrai x Suicune
Roselia x Absol
Umbreon x Espeon
Mew x Celebi