Y'know, I'm really growing attached to my Raikou. Feel free to suggest more Raikou shippings. He's fun!
This chapter is inspired from my favorite episode of all time. James is the Flaming Moltres. …Am I the only one who finds this hilarious?
Anyway, future pairings are now posted on my profile for neatness.
Pairing: Moltres x Raikou

With her flames doused so the fire wouldn't eat up all the oxygen, it was pitch black in the cave. With her flames doused, it was also silent. There was a bit of quiet breathing, maybe the sound of a moving body before it settled, but nothing much. It wasn't a comfortable silence either. It was awkward. At least, it was for poor Moltres. She was trapped in a cave with Raikou, who was quite possibly the last creature alive she would ever want to be trapped with, and they had just had a huge argument about getting stuck in said cave, whose fault it was, a painful comment from Raikou, and this all led to quiet. The calm before the storm.

He snickered and set it all in motion. "Flaming Moltres."

"It's not funny!" She snapped at him, shuffling in place. Her talons scratched in the dirt and her wings opened wide on instinct. If there was light, she would have looked bigger, intimidating, and certainly much too strangely shaped swallow. Sadly, it was dark and this meant her threatening stance went unseen and uncared for.

In all honesty, he wouldn't have cared how big she was. He would do absolutely anything to annoy someone. "Yes, yes it is. He's in a Moltres costume, flying around and calling himself the Flaming Moltres. That's priceless! I wish I had a video camera or whatever humans are using to watch this stuff. That's one thing I could stand seeing over and over again." He sighed after a laugh, then started up again. "Well, I'll give him one thing: He really is a flaming something."

The bird of fire had a small snarl that was growing bigger as time went by. For Moltres didn't like people. She didn't like pokémon. Most of all, she didn't like Raikou. Now she was being confronted with the most embarrassing of fan stories and she had no idea on how to make a comeback. "I take it as a compliment. He likes me so much he's willing to dress up. How do I know you're not just jealous? He did something kind, I guess."

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that he's…a flaming moltres." The large pokémon snorted. The small noise was bouncing off the walls of the cavern, amplifying it and making it unbearable to either Legendary's sensitive ears.

She moaned. "Would you stop?"

"No," He retorted, giggling like a child. For a moment, the crazy giggling continued, growing louder with the amplifying cave and growing louder with his new idea. "Hey, we're alone in cave together, Moltres. Let's make a baby."

"We're infertile, you ass," She rolled her eyes. Here was the biggest reason she hated the creature. He was a chauvinistic pig. No one really liked him. What's more, he didn't even seem to care that he was almost universally hated. From Arceus to the lowest caterpie to any human wandering the planet, he was hated. His personally counted him out with the Legendaries, and his purpose (to burn forests) counted him out with the mortals. He always seemed to come to her, despite her own hatred for him, to the point where she was beginning to wonder whether or not he had a crush on her.

"We can try and hope for a miracle," He suggested merrily.

"You're digusting," She rolled her eyes. "If it wasn't for you and your safety, I could be out of here by now." She fell silent, ruffling and preening her feathers in thought. "I could melt the rock if I tried, you know. It wouldn't be too hard. It might take a minute or too but they'd melt. You'd be able to leap over them, I could fly out without a problem. Raikou, are you absolutely sure you can't stand the heat?"

The male grumbled, his good humor lost. "I have a sneaking suspicion if it melts rock, it'll melt bone. I don't think Arceus can fix that. As much as you'd like me to melt, I need to be here. I've got a purpose. People like trees. They help them breathe. You don't have a purpose, you stupid fire bird. You just look pretty and inspire hope or some crap."

She smirked. "She can always make a new you. A less annoying you. A Raikou that doesn't zap birds into caves and cause rockslides."

"What kind of Raikou is that?" He said, cheering quickly.

"A good one."

"Is not," He giggled. "I'm a little sorry about zapping you all the time. I know I shouldn't have. It was mean and it made us end up in this hell hole. We can't get out anytime soon. I'm sorry about being so immature. I was just bored and Suicune's busy cleaning some lake and Entei's convinced he's the father or some human girl, which is as freaky as it gets. Mew says he'll play with me, but the last time he asked to play with me he accidentally used a strong enough psychic attack to blast me into an ocean. We were in the desert at the time, talk about your climate changes, right? But, yeah, I don't think I'll play with him sometime soon."

"Why don't you play with Zaptos?" Moltres suggested. "You're both electric type. I'm sure he'll be happy to entertain you."

"When you say 'play' you make it sound so degrading. I like to have fun, it's not a crime. In fact, you should try it some time," Raikou returned snappishly. "And I can't play with Zaptos. He's even more uptight than me! Have you seriously ever tried to bond with the guy? He does nothing but zap again and again and again until you're unconscious. The last time I was here he chased me around screaming 'my island!' until Lugia finally showed up and calmed him down. What's with him?"

Moltres sighed. "The last time you were here the orbs were missing and we were in a bit of a crisis. Zaptos was a little territorial. I admit, he was a little mean to you, but he's better now. Really, I'm sure he wouldn't mind playing with you. He might even enjoy it! You two could zap each other gently and wrestle and do whatever boys do when they're alone together. You could shapeshift human and get Mew and all the boys and have a nice game of football. That's a good way to get all your energy out."

"I'm not playing with Zaptos. End of stories. He's a jerkwad."

"A jerwad," She repeated. "Alright, you don't have to play with him if he's a jerkwad. There's lots of other Legendaries. They all have their own little quirks and I'm sure there's one you could find to play with you. Not all pokémon are as mean or aggressive as Zaptos and Arceus. Some are nice. Look at me! I'm nice, and Mew just doesn't know his own strength. If he was a little more like Mewtwo, except not as dead inside…" She groaned. "Who could you possibly play with?"

"Well, lately I've been playing with you," He grinned, wishing they had just a little bit of light so she could see it. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but I really like playing with you. You're smart and fast and you're purpose is to be pretty like I said before, so I don't mind watching you run away." (This sounded much too like: I hate seeing you go but I love to watch you leave, for Moltres' tastes) He crawled closer to her butting her chest with his head. "Plus, you'll yell at me when I go too far instead of just blasting me away. You're the best playmate I've got, so if you're gonna say that there's one pokémon out there for me, I'm going to have to agree."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, flapping her wings a bit. She lit them instinctively, feeling nervous. This seemed to only create mood lighting, showcasing exactly how close he was to her face, that smirk still plastered on his face and a deep, frightening purr coming from the back of his throat. "You finally found a pokémon that'll play with you, I hope? You'll leave me alone instead of harassing me around my own island?"

"Well, yes and no," He laughed, creeping closer.

"Stop being so weird," She muttered. "What are you going on about?"

"I found a pokémon to play with me, but just because I found her doesn't mean I'll leave you alone. See, she's a bird. She's actually a fire type and she's always going on about how she hates me. She constantly tells me how everyone hates me, because if I'm not careful I can really set off her wild temper. She's sweet sometimes, like when she tries to help me find someone to play with. She acts like she's doing it so I'll leave her alone, but I know she's just doing it to be sweet."

"You flatterer you. Get out and go home." She stepped away, pressing against the cave wall but still too nervous to douse her lights.

"I'm not a flatterer, I mean it," He defended. "since we can take any form we want, well, we could always be the same type. Something that would fit together. We could be two dewgong or two pikachu or two weedle, whatever you feel like. We could even be two voltorb." He grinned and stepped closer. "I'm not exactly sure how voltorb make a baby, but I wouldn't mind trying to find out. What do you say, Moltres?"

She gulped. "I…well, I…"

Suddenly, white sunlight shot in and the light sound of small rocks rolling down a mountain echoed throughout the small cavern. Zaptos had shoved his head through one of the few holes he had made and was now glaring at the two of them. "My island!" He screeched, glaring more fiercely. "This is my island. What are you doing here? Get off, get off, get off! I hate all of you! My island, dammit, it's my island! It's just for me! Now get out!"

Raikou arched an eyebrow. "He's changed?"

She shrugged. "It's mating season." With that, she flashed out her bright wings and burst into flame, looking every bit the magnificent fire bird she was. Any other infatuated creature would have marveled, compliments her on the amazing glory that is the phoenix of the pokémon world.

But Raikou, being Raikou, could only bring himself to snicker one thing as he backed away. "Watch it flaming Moltres!"