Disclaimer: We own nothing from Death Note, Rurouni Kenshin, Naruto, DBZ Movie Dead Zone Abridged, or Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Movie.

Chapter 42: El Chapître, Dattebayo!

"PRETTY SUNSET!! IT'S PRETTY, SEE? LOOK AT THE PRETTINESS! ALL THE COLORS ARE PRETTY AND PRETTY AND THEY'RE…PRETTIFUL!!!" Raven screamed maniacally.

iheartmwpp rolled her eyes as she drowned herself in sake that was actually water. Both authoresses were beyond the point of help, especially after watching the Death Note movie where death happened to be a predominant theme.

Meanwhile, back in Narnia, stuff was happening. Somehow, in the span of approximately 2.87954312560 seconds, the Pevensie children aged about ten years. Peter had become a crotchety old fart who had lost all desire to live after he attained his first wrinkle at the ripe old age of 17 years old. His life was already half over, and now that his perfection was gone, he had nothing left to live for.

"Pourquoi est-ce que je suis trop moche? Pourquoi est-ce que je dois suffrir? Je veux mourir! Je veux me tuer!" Peter ranted.

"De accuerdo, mi hermano. Escribirá tu nombre en mi cuaderno de muerte," Susan calmly assured him.

"Dattebayo! Sumimasen! Gozario! Kakashi! Arigatou gozaimasu! Itachi! Doitashimashite! Konbanwa! Iruka! Hajimemashite! Kisa! Ohayo gozaimasu! Nani? Konnichiwa! Doushite? Oyasumi! Shinigami! Onegaishimasu! Kami! Sempai! Wakarimashita! Hentai! Youkai! Bijuu! Tsuki! Yondaime! Kage! Watashi wa ano hito desu! Daisuki! Kokoro! Kyuubi! Shishou! Inu! Ichibi! Ookami! Yumemiru! Chibi! Katana! Genki? Sensei! Keki! Yuki! Maou! Heika! Daijoubu? Neko! Itadakimasu! Baka! Jinchuuriki!" Edmund inserted randomly. (A/N: iheartmwpp: That's almost all the Japanese Raven and I collectively know…it's a bit sad, really…)

"Wow…Edmund, you don't know Japanese at all…" Lucy commented, wondering why her family had suddenly become multicultural.

"Nihon-go desu," muttered Edmund.

"How did you learn those random words anyway?"

Edmund shrugged. "Anime."

Lucy nodded knowingly. "Ah. That makes sense."

"¿Por qué puedo hablar en español?" Susan cried frantically.

"Ça, c'est une bonne question, mon petit-chou," Peter added.

"Hai!" Edmund yelled.

"Tais-toi, Edmund. Je te déteste."

"¡Es demasiado irritante!

"WHY ARE YOU SPEAKING LANGUAGES THAT I SOMEHOW UNDERSTAND???" Lucy interrupted fiercely.

"Wakarimasen," Edmund said thoughtfully.

"Je ne sais pas," Peter echoed sadly.

"A mi tambien, no sé," added Susan.

"And what the heck does Jinchuuriki mean anyway, Edmund?" asked Lucy upon reflection.

"Jinchuuriki is my name. I like to play the Jinchuuriki game…" sang Edmund.

"…uh…huh…"

The Pevensies grew quiet for once in their lives. They forgot completely what they were supposed to be doing in the movie.

It was at that time that William Moseley, Anna Poppelwell, Skandar Keynes and Georgie Henley came to laugh at the actors that were portraying their characters in the future. They had a grand old time before the giant flying potato that had been Aslan's stunt double after turning into such a beast came and took revenge for getting cut out of the movie. It basically squished them all. The end.

A/N: Raven: Raise your hand if you actually understood some of the languages! Okay, put your hands down, there's no one there, why the hell did you just raise your hands? Did you enjoy the insertion of my language obsession? Not bad though, eh? I've got French the best, then Spanish and barely Japanese…I know very little of the latter…I was wondering if you people are interested in the translation…even if you aren't, here it is!

"Why am I so ugly? Why do I have to suffer? I want to die! I want to kill myself!" Peter ranted.

"Okay, my brother. I will write your name in my notebook of death," Susan calmly assured him.

"Believe it! I'm sorry! That it is! Scarecrow! Thank you very much! Weasel! Your welcome! Good evening! Dolphin! Nice to meet you! Shark! Good morning! What? Hello! Why? Good night! Death god! Please! God! Upperclassman! I understand! Porn/pervert! Demon! Tailed beast! Moon! Fourth! Shadow! My name is that person! I really like you! Heart! Nine-tailed! Master! Dog! One-tailed! Wolf! I dream! Small! Sword! How cute! How are you? Teacher! Cake! Snow! Demon King! Your Majesty! Are you okay? Cat! Thank you for this food! Idiot/stupid! Jinchuuriki!" Edmund inserted randomly.

Then, skipping a few lines:

"Why can I speak Spanish?" Susan cried frantically.

"That's a good question, my dear little cabbage head (literally!)" Peter added.

"Yes!" Edmund yelled.

"Shut up, Edmund. I hate you."

"You are so annoying!"

Then they all say 'I don't know' in their respective languages.

Wow. That was long and pointless. Oh well! Let's get to the real chapter!

The end.

A/N: Raven: Just kidding.

iheartmwpp: I'M OUT OF SAKE!!! (falls down and passes out)

Raven: (shakes head) Passed out drunk again.

Peter's cape billowed gloriously as he and his horse leapt over a fallen log. Susan and Lucy were close behind. It was the annual Edmund-Hunting Festival, an event that the Pevensies rather enjoyed except for Edmund. He didn't really enjoy being chased around and then gutted like a pig. Actually, it was his clones that were gutted like pigs, but there was once a mess-up and the real Edmund disappeared…

Anyway, they were having a wonderful time running through the forest. Edmund panted as he tried to stay out of reach of his cannibalistic siblings.

Finally, the strain was too much and he had to stop. The rest of the Pevensies gathered around him and laughed at his stupidity.

"Why do you get horses and I don't?" Edmund moaned, out of breath.

"Because we're awesome," Susan answered.

"I know how many toes a fish has," Lucy added.

"Curse you all," Edmund muttered under his breath.

Susan eyed him haughtily. "Come on Ed! It's more fun when we stab you from behind while running!"

Lucy spoke up. "What did he say back at the castle, Susan?"

"He said, 'Please don't hurt me.'"

This prompted them all to chuckle merrily.

Peter abruptly noticed something next to Edmund. His eyes widened as he went and began to suck on what appeared to be a flashlight covered in tapioca pudding. "It seems familiar," he garbled.

The others came to goggle at it.

Susan added, "As if from a dream."

"Or a dream of a dream," Lucy echoed in wonder.

"Or a dream of a dream of a dream."

"Or a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream."

"Or a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream."

"Or a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream."

"Or a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream."

"Or a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream."

"Or a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream."

"Or maybe it was from a nightmare…" Edmund countered.

"Or a nightmare of a nightmare."

"Or a nightmare of a nightmare of a nightmare."

"Or a nightmare of a nightmare of a nightmare of a nightmare."

"Or a nightmare of a nightmare of a nightmare of a nightmare of a nightmare."

"Okay, you guys seriously need to stop," Edmund said.

"SQUARE BROOM!" Lucy interjected.

Peter scoffed. "Well that came out of nowhere."

Lucy began to jump up and down excitedly clapping her hands together.

Peter sighed. "Good thing I packed my handy-dandy poison dart thrower!"

"Uh, Peter…that's your handy-dandy Death Note."

"Oh, well…same thing." Peter took out a pen and began to write Lucy's name.

"No! You can't kill our sister, because she's going to die! And then she'll be dead! Because you killed her!" Susan exclaimed.

"When has death stopped anyone in this parody?"

"Hmm…good point."

"Hi everybody!" the Bitch cried as she appeared beside Edmund.

"Hi evil bitch!" they responded in kind.

"What are you doing here? Didn't we kill you ten plus years ago?" Edmund whined, frightened.

"Yes. I'm just here for the irony. I'll be going now. Bye!"

"No wait, come back! We have to have a flashback chapter!" Susan called after her.

"Oh yeah!" The Bitch came running back and they all assumed wistful, reminiscing expressions.

"Hey Susan? Remember that time when, instead of summoning a bottle of water, you ended up summoning a giant blob of death?"

"Yeah, that was rather deathly."

"Deathly Hallows?"

"Oh HELL NO!!"

Edmund spoke up. "Remember when someone killed Mary Sue in the battle?"

"Didn't she get spiked by a trident?"

"It was kind of trident-y."

Susan glared at Edmund. "Stop trying to act cool by copying everything I say."

"Okay. I will stop trying to act cool by copying everything you say."

"Good."

"Good."

"Anyway,--"

"Anyway,--"

"Hey Edmund?"

"Hey…me? I mean, what?"

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!"

Edmund was knocked unconscious.

By this time, Lucy had joined their little circle to add some of her memories.

"Hey Susan, weren't you Satan once?"

"Mm-hmm. Good times."

"And weren't you defeated by the same turtle that Peter stabbed in the back in chapter 21?"

Susan's eyes immediately glowed red as smoke burst from her ears. Lucy backed away in fear.

"There are muffin trees in muffin land and the muffins grow on the trees and you can pick the muffins and then there are muffins that fall down from the trees because they are leaf muffins and then there are muffins that can fly because they have wings because they are muffins that can fly and they make muffin lairs for their muffin children."

Peter glanced at Edmund oddly. "Um…okay then."

"Hey, guess what?" Lucy spoke up.

"What?" Susan answered.

"The movie's almost over!"

"El gasp! It cannot be! How will I make money now???" Susan cried in horror.

"Wait, we're getting paid to do this?" asked Edmund.

"Why don't you two shut up," interjected Lucy, "I'm trying to announce the contest!"

"What contest?" asked Peter.

"The one that Kelly and Kelly just thought of twenty seconds ago because they don't feel like typing anymore today."

"Hold on a second. Who are Kelly and Kelly?"

"You know, iheartmwpp and Raven?"

"AHH!!!! THAT MEANS THEY'RE HERE!!"

Susan gave Peter a look. "Um, they're writing this, flamingo face."

"THEY CONTROL OUR VERY EXISTENCE!!" Peter continued.

"No, that's C.S. Lewis."

"But isn't he dead?"

All of a sudden, the set went dark and there was the happy sound of some terrible grinding machine and the happy screams of those getting impaled. When the lights came back on, the scene revealed a blender making a potato milkshake. The screaming had occurred because no one likes potato milkshakes. Due to this, the characters had left in disgust.

"Ah, that's better," Raven sighed. "They just kept rambling on like stupid annoying rambling…things…"

"Wow…we DO have an obsession with potatoes…" iheartmwpp mused aloud.

"Yes, well, we have control now so all is well. Now we have to announce the contest!"

"Oh, son of a fuck nut."

"What was that for?"

"I don't know. It's a funny exclamation."

"Wait, you're funny? That's impossible!"

"I WILL CHUCK YOUR BABIES ACROSS A FOOTBALL FIELD!" iheartmwpp stated, eyes bulging.

"Hehe…yes, now what was I saying? Oh, right. The contest. Anyway, we're getting near the end but we don't want to finish quite so soon! In order to stay alive, we're going to insert some chapters that are basically memories of the Pevensies. We will incorporate ANYTHING you reviewers want us to! Although, it kind of has to be funny and/or random, because that's what we're all about!"

"I can count all the way up to bananahundred!"

"See what I mean?"

iheartmwpp smiled. "So, these are reminiscing times for our dear characters. If you have any ideas, please review! Also, we will be sure to include anything you've already suggested that hasn't already yet been a part of the story. Speaking of which, thank you CoriOreo for killing off Mary-Sue and The Flying Orangutan of DOOM for the whole "turtle battling Satan" thing. 'Twas rather amusing."

"If you guys don't have ideas, just send us your dreams like before! Dreams are always weird and pretty funny occasionally!"

"So, yes, review and send us your thoughts! That way, Narnia will never end!"

"But, iheartmwpp…it will end…right?"

"NOOOOOOO! NEVERRRRRRRRR!!"

"Heh, someone's in denial…"

All of a sudden, the lights dimmed and there came a sound of cheerful music bubbling out of hidden speakers. When the lights came back on, Raven lay in an array of pieces due to the happy song known for triggering iheartmwpp's schizophrenic rages.

"HA!!! FOOLED YOU!!" iheartmwpp then went on to live the life of a hitokiri, killing everyone in her path with her rusty and bloodstained katana.

They all lived happily ever after. Except for the people that died, because they couldn't really 'live' happily.

A/N: iheartmwpp: Never play "I Got You Babe" in front of me. And yes, I actually do own a katana, though it's not actually rusty or bloodstained…yet…