TITLE: His Friend Too
AUTHOR: arbailey
WORD COUNT: 3,347
RATING: PG-13 for language
SUMMARY: When Veronica catches her best friend and an aging action hero together, everything falls apart.
SPOILERS: Pre-series that quickly goes AU but does spoil the 1st season Lilly/Aaron storyline
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any rights to Veronica Mars, and this story is written as a tribute only.
A/N 1: Apologies again, though they're pretty empty if they don't make me any more prompt at finishing a chapter... Sorry :( For some reason this one was a tough one to slog through. May be just that 'getting to the end of a fic' malaise. Still, only one more chapter! It is partially, though not entirely, written. So that's a start.
Chapter 11: Something to Talk About...
"I'm not your sister." Veronica stands before the Kane siblings, her arms crossed loosely over her chest. Duncan sits blinking blearily, as if his eyes can't adjust to the bright sunshine of the courtyard. A too large bite of burrito dangles from his mouth giving him the appearance of a rather dimwitted animal, until he swallows thickly and self-consciously. A collective hush falls over the other tables as they zero in on the latest installment of Fab Four drama as it unfolds. She clasps her hands in front of her. "Okay then," she says, taking their silence as acquiescence, and then she nods and turns away, her attitude of cool destroyed by the long, nervous steps she makes in her rush back to the quiet safety of the school.
Once the euphoria of being her father's daughter wore off- and once the sharp, immediate pain of her mother's betrayal began to dull just slightly- Veronica had begun to imagine this moment. She wanted to shock them, to upset their carefully imagined worldview the same way the discovery of Jake and Lianne's affair had upset her. How dare they? Who were the Kanes to decide what Veronica did and did not deserve to know about her own life? She fumed imagining it: Lily and Duncan giggling in some dark corner, whispering over their secret knowledge. Even Logan knew about her supposed parentage before her!
She had imagined going over to the Kane mansion, confronting Celeste with the photos, shaming Jake, making a scene. But there was a good chance she'd wind up crying in that scenario, angrily blubbering while they looked on in panicked discomfort, and Veronica couldn't do that. She couldn't let them see how much they had rocked her, how much she feared losing her father despite all their mutual protests that a simple quirk of biology changed nothing, or how much she was still feeling the loss of her mother even as she wrote her off.
And truth be told, she had nothing to say to Jake and Celeste. Veronica had never liked Celeste in the first place, so it was hard to be hurt by her histrionic little photo shoot. And Jake was nothing to her, just her ex-boyfriend's father and a flesh-and-blood symbol of her own mother's deceit. She'd take his money and go to an Ivy League school and. Never. Look. Back.
But Duncan? Lily? They were everything - not the inevitable outcome of biology, but a family she had chosen. And in its own way, their betrayal hurt as much as her mother's. The way Duncan had abandoned her without a word, without a single pang of remorse, without a glance... And Lily, laughing at her behind her back, manipulating her and lying to her... And not for the first time.
So, yeah, there was some anger there. And because of all the secrecy and sneaking, the whole 09er crowd is salivating to find out what Veronica's big sin was. The sudden cooling of her relations with the Kanes has made her a target. Madison and her nasty little comments. Dick pushing her in the pool. So, ultimately, maybe this is an announcement for the whole school.
And really, acknowledging the wedge is just about as shocking as it gets. "Hi Ex-Boyfriend. Turns out I'm not your sister. Totes awesome, right?" So as she walks toward her friends, she seems to settle into a calm, Zen state. So she just says it- baldly, boldly. And as she walks away and hears the harsh whispering begin, she feels lighter than she has in weeks.
In the moments immediately after her announcement, there is no movement from her friends. None at all. And then Duncan leaps up and dashes after her. Lily sighs and her shoulders dip just slightly as she watches her brother rush off, absently wiping her hands on a napkin. The gathered crowd begins to buzz like cicadas as they greedily speculate on this shocking little bit of new gossip, and no one pays any attention to Logan at all as he quietly gets up and strides stiffly towards the parking lot, shoving his lunch tray and all of its contents forcefully into a waiting garbage can as he passes
It's not a conscious thing, chasing Veronica down. It's more like a surprisingly well-coordinated full body spasm. He's running on epinepherine and oxytocin, his brain flush with feel-good chemicals. Because everything is okay now! He has not been inadvertently lusting after a sibling! All is now right with the world, and his grin is so wide it nearly splits his face in two. As he gallops up behind her, he catches Veronica by the elbow, and not even her ambiguous facial expression can dampen his delight.
"Veronica! I'm so happ... Such great news and... Hi," he finishes, grinning idiotically.
"Hi," she replies with her own smile, albeit one much less enthusiastic.
He gets a look of soft concern on his face as he pauses for a minute. "I'm sorry for just disappearing like that. I didn't know what to say. I just... Couldn't process it, I guess. I'm just so, so sorry V. I just hope that you'll be able to forgive me some day."
He looks so earnest, so ashamedly apologetic that Veronica's smile softens a bit, "Hey. No, I get it. I do. I mean what's the protocol for alerting your girlfriend that you may or may not be related? So forget it, you're forgiven. I don't love that you didn't just come out and tell me," she says, a frown creasing her forehead as she flashes on the image of Lily and Duncan conspiring in her imagination, "But I understand not being able to say the words. Not being able to break someone's heart. You were an asshole, but at least you had good intentions." Her smile is stronger now, and genuine.
Duncan's big smile returns, and he slumps comfortably against the lockers. "So. We start over?"
Weeks out of practice and pre-occupied with other thoughts, she almost doesn't the recognize Duncan's patented lean-in. And when she does catch on, she is too late to gracefully bow out of the kiss. She reels back awkwardly, her eyes wide.
Duncan looks hurt, and her mouth sets in a tight line. He doesn't get to be disappointed about this.
Duncan worries his bottom lip with his teeth. "V? You okay?"
She struggles to recover her composure and blusters, "Yeah, I'm fine. What's wrong with you?"
Duncan's brow clouds further, and his mouth opens and closes like a fish's for a moment before he says, "Nothing! But you... You forgave me! I thought we were okay!"
"Okay as in 'okay-we're-friends' not 'okay-lets-check-each-other's-fillings'," Veronica grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest.
Duncan is now entirely lost. "But..."
Veronica heaves a deep sigh, "Duncan, you're important to me. And I get why you did what you did. So I don't blame you for breaking up with me and going radio silent. But I don't really trust you any more either."
HIs eyes are wide as he huffs, "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you! I thought it would be easier that way..."
Veronica nods, "I realize that, okay. I'm not saying you're a sociopath. I don't think you set out to annihilate me, but you kind of did it anyway. You're not who I thought you were, and I don't think you have a very good idea of who I am either..." And with those words, she turns on her heel and strides down the hallway while Duncan blinks at unseeingly, completely at sea yet again.
Duncan shuffles back to the lunch table and slumps down beside his sister, his features pensive.
"So..." Lily drawls, "How'd that go, Champ?"
Duncan sighs deeply. "She's mad. But that's fair." His features brighten, "It's okay though. I love her. I just have to keep working on her. It'll work out."
Lily snorts uncharitably. "You love her, hunh? Is that why you abruptly decided she no longer existed?"
Duncan's mouth twists sadly before he sets his jaw and turns to face his sister. "As a matter of fact, it is. And you know that. And why the high-and-mighty act now? You didn't tell her either!"
Lily nods, the scorn wiped away. "Keith is such a good guy. Much as I wanted her for a dyed-in-the-wool sister, I wouldn't wish Jake on her."
Duncan's brow wrinkles, "Well, Dad's not a BAD guy, Lil."
Lily scoffs. "He cheated on Mom. However much a bitch she is, that's not the move of a loving parent. But Veronica's mom is no real prize either. I'd hate for V to lose Keith. It must be nice to have one parent who isn't a scumbag."
Duncan shifts uncomfortably in is seat, making a small noise of protest in the back of his throat, but he stills as Lily clamps her hand down on his arm. "You don't have to act like it's all okay all the time! God! Aren't you angry?"
If Duncan has a button labeled "Do Not Push", Lily has just found it.
Duncan's lip curls sharply, and the sudden way his eyes go dark surprises even Lily. "Of course I'm angry. But what do you want me to say? What am I supposed to do? Please, if you have any idea, you have to tell me!"
He's getting a little hysterical as he continues. "I thought I could trust Mom and Dad, that they were protecting me! That's reasonable, right? That they wouldn't want to hurt me! How was I supposed to guess that they had been lying to me, medicating me, breaking me because they just couldn't be bothered to be honest! And now I have ruined everything, and I've lost Veronica, and it was all for nothing! So yeah, I'm pissed off! But I don't have any energy to waste on being angry with them, not if I want Veronica back!"
Duncan's chest heaves as he comes down from his tirade. Her lips delicately pursed, Lily watches her little brother as he tries to compose himself. She regards him with one raised eyebrow before asking quietly, "What did she actually say?"
Duncan lets his head fall into his hands, his elbows braced on the table as he stares determinedly through the holes in the table down at his feet. "She said that she understood why I did what I did, but that it didn't change the fact that she couldn't trust me. She said that I wasn't who she thought I was. She said I didn't know her."
Lily punches him in the arm to get his attention and when he rears up angrily, she startles him by staring deeply into his eyes, completely serious. "And how well do you know Veronica? What exactly do you love about her? Tell me."
Duncan gapes, but says nothing and shakes his head dismissively.
Rolling her eyes, Lily continues, "Not a rhetorical question, Donut. I'm waiting."
Duncan sits, thinking and scrubbing with an open palm at his temple. "I love that she's beautiful. That she's kind. That she's gentle and shy. The way she lets me take care of her. I don't know, when she looks at me with this look, like I'm the best thing she's seen. That she loves me. That she trusts me."
The way his face collapses in that moment pulls at Lily's heartstrings. She's always thought her brother is a little too staid, too careful. Boring, even. But she loves him, doesn't want to see him hurt this way. It makes her angry at her parents all over again. However this turns out, she will never again feel guilty for making her parents embarrassed or uncomfortable or disappointed because she can't imagine any two people more disappointing than them. But still...
"The Veronica you described... I don't really recognize her. Shy and gentle girls don't tend to taze people," Lily says quietly, "Maybe she doesn't need your protection so much."
"And she's already said she doesn't trust me," Duncan says, his tone flat and resigned. "So it's fair to assume she's never going to look at me that way again..."
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm not sure I know her either," Lily says, as she lays her head on her brother's shoulder. "I really thought she'd have my back on the whole Logan thing."
Duncan gives her a skeptical look, and Lily glances at his face defensively, "Which is, in retrospect, pretty dumb. Fine, I realize that. But I just thought she loved me best..."
Duncan shakes his head sadly, "How's she supposed to love someone who just stops talking to her for no apparent reason? Or someone who tries to manipulate her into hurting a friend? And then we just thought it'd be okay, that she would laugh it off? What the hell is wrong with us, Lily? Were disgusting people, we don't' deserve to breathe the same..."
Lily turns against her brother and pulls him into a tender hug though her tone is exasperated, "God, Donut, stop being so dramatic. We fucked up. And maybe things don't go back to how they were. But that's okay. That doesn't mean the end of the world. That doesn't mean it's over. We'll just have to make our apologies and try to do better." She pulls back from the hug and peeks towards the school, "And on that note..." She swings her glance back to her brother and gives him a small smile. He just nods and waves his hands at her in a shooing motion and goes back to contemplating his shoes.
Lily has an apology to make, and there is no time like the present.
Lily finds her reading in a secluded corner in the library. If anyone asks she is STUDYING, although it looks an awful lot like she is HIDING. Lily plants herself in Veronica's eyeline and quietly stares until Veronica looks up with a put-upon sigh and glares at her best friend.
Lily holds out her hand like a missionary going door to door, and repeats in that same type of relentlessly upbeat voice, "Hi. I'm here for a searingly painful personal conversation full of tears and recriminations but ultimately ending in a reconciliation and, hopefully, a modicum of personal growth. I hope I'm not late."
"I DID kind of expect you sooner, actually," Veronica says with another weary sigh, "But I think I can fit you in."
"Yeah, well, I had to tend to my brother's broken heart first," says Lily with just a hint of sharpness.
Veronica's shoulders slump a little, and she looks apologetic. "Lily..." she begins, but her friend cuts her off.
"It's fine, V. He gets it. And he'll get over it, given time. You weren't wrong about him not really knowing you. And you know how bad he is at dealing with conflict. Did you know his piano teacher called him Donald for six months because he couldn't bring himself to correct her? So you can imagine why he couldn't tell you..."
"And what about you?" Veronica volleys back tightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Lily shrugs non-commitally, "Much as I wanted you to be my sister, I knew it would kill you to lose Keith. And I wasn't nearly as convinced as Duncan by Mom's little show-and-tell session. Also I needed your help with Logan, so... I guess I was hedging my bets. I would have told you eventually, when all other avenues had been exhausted, when I was sure. It was never a plan to deceive you. It was just... Bad timing. And it turns out I didn't really know you either. All these years, I just wasn't paying close enough attention."
Veronica huffs indignantly, "What do you mean by that?"
Lily drawls patiently, "I mean that I always knew you were a tough chick underneath the sundresses and pink lip gloss, I just didn't realize that extended to stealing my boyfriend..."
Veronica's angry bark of a laugh explodes out into the air, her eyes bugging out of her head, but Lily waves her protestations away.
"Fine, fine. I guess it is a bit rich to claim him as my boyfriend even after that whole Aaron thing. I just can't believe I didn't see it, that's all," says Lily pleasantly as she taps her chin contemplatively.
"THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE!" Veronica hisses out in a stage whisper. "It's not like that between me and Logan. The fact that I didn't want you to crush his soul does not mean I'm in love with him. We're just friends. Old-fashioned, non-psychopathic friends who do not plot to sleep with each other's family members."
Lily scoffs, "Of course not. As you pointed out, that's more of a couples activity. But I sure don't kiss any of MY male friends that way."
Veronica spits back sullenly, "That's because you don't have any male friends, just dudes you haven't slept with yet!
Veronica's jaw is set defiantly, but her brow clouds with confusion at Lily's sudden laughter. They're getting disapproving looks from the librarian, so Veronica grabs Lily's arm and hauls her out into the hallway.
Lily wipes her eyes as she finally get her giggles under control. "Well," she says, "You two have my blessing anyways."
Veronica just looks put out, "There is nothing for you to bless. And even if there was, we wouldn't need your permission!"
Lily fairly grins, "Exactly! Good for you!"
Veronica's fury finally peaks, "Lily! Shut up! There's nothing there!"
Lily just shrugs with a small smile. "You're wrong."
Veronica's fury abates somewhat, but it's been replaced by panic. "What do you mean I'm wrong? I'm not wrong! I think I would know whether or not I was in love with Logan!"
Lily nods consideringly, "You really would think so, right? I mean you're so smart about so many other things..."
Veronica stumbles over her words, failing to complete whole thoughts. "I don't even... Lily, Logan doesn't think that way about... You're just so, SO far off base. This is ridiculous, I'm not even his type!"
Lily scoffs, her arms crossed over his chest, "Oh yeah, he never goes for hot blonde card sharks who know all his favorite hangover remedies and hate his father. No, you're right, why on earth would he be interested in you?"
Veronica shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts, "Lily..."
"I saw that kiss." Lily says with quiet finality, "And, God, his face... He never looked at me like that," she says with something a little like regret, or even jealousy. But then she shakes it off, bombastic, "Thank God. I NEVER would have been rid of him."
Veronica looks at her friend skeptically, "And I'm supposed to believe that you're okay with this?"
Lily nods, fervently, "Oh come on, better you than me. I admit, I was not immediately sold on the idea. Even though I knew I could never love him like he wanted, the attention and the want... It was addicting. But in the end I want you guys to be happy, and even more than that I want the Fab Four again. I miss that. I miss us."
"And Duncan?" asked Veronica, her voice tentative.
"Duncan will survive. It may take awhile, but he'll be fine. And maybe he'll find someone who actually IS quiet, and gentle, and demure, and not packing 100,000 volts," Lily says confidently.
Veronica stands awkwardly, her arms wrapped tightly around herself and her fingers biting tightly into her flesh as she grips her elbows. "You're wrong," she says, apparently to the floor. "You're wrong about Logan. He's still wrapped up in you, and even if he wasn't I'm not..."
Lily tosses her head in annoyance, losing patience with the whole conversation. "Fine, I'm wrong. You're so certain, I guess I'd have to defer to you. But you should probably find out for sure."
"Yeah," Veronica says, once again to the floor, "I suppose I should find out for sure..."
A/N: When I started this fic, I was really excited about the possibility of getting 100 reviews. But then when I hit 100, I got all excited about the possibility of getting 200! Because we as humans are never satisfied! Still, I'd hate to shill for reviews without giving you something in return. So, anyone who reviews (and allows PMs or makes some other arrangement with me) will get a small preview of the final chapter. Small like three or four paragraphs, small. Like 300-500 words small. Pretty small. But available if you are interested!