Just so everyone knows, this is back in Lizzy's head, so as not to confuse anyone. Apparently I'm delving more into longer chapters (totally unintentional), so be prepared. I'd like to shout out to just anyone who wants to review this for any reason, shape, or form. I'd greatly appreciate it and be happy inside! Despite what happens, enjoy!
Also: The song somewhere in this is an actual song called "Sea of Love" by Phil Philips (get it, the title of the chapter, song in here, pretty clever right? I know dear readers, I try my best in life). It's old timey and a good love ballad. Thanks again anyone!
I walked down the hall, met with the glances and whispers of everyone I passed by. "Yeah, that's her." "She's so lucky!" "I wish Cody had asked me like that!" "He's so cute!" "Are they together?" "Oh my gosh, Lizzy and James are official?"
To every comment I heard, all I could do was grin. That's right everyone, it was my guy that had asked me to the important dance in an extremely cute way. It was my guy who made every girl in school wish that they were me. It was my guy who gave me an extremely pretty necklace that bounced on my chest as I walked. I was happy, very content with life, but mostly relieved to finally be out of my Gill rut (as that wasn't a very healthy place for me to be).
My thoughts and feelings about Gill were, to say the least, complicated. Obviously, I now liked James and NOT him, but it never failed that whenever he was nice to me, even talked to me, I was happier than I had been before that. Those two weeks where we hadn't talked, this was never an issue, especially since James was always there to fill in the emptiness in my conversation quotas of the day. However, Gill had gone back to talking to me more and more, especially the following week.
The day I had been asked by James, we had walked back to my house after school where he dropped me off. I could tell he wanted to stay and chat more, but what I wanted to do was way too embarrassing for him to be around. So, I sent him off instead and watched as he left to make sure he was a good distance away. For when he was, I went in my house and immediately started screaming and jumping up and down with giggles. I, Lizzy Pilgrim, had officially been asked to one of the more important school dances by the hands down cutest guy at school. Not only was a stoked, but he had asked me in such a cute way, and I knew that every girl was just totally jealous of me. I started dancing and singing at the top of my lungs some random song my generation usually listened to in order to help them be happy about existence. Life could not have been better, which is when I heard a knock at my door. I slightly giggled as I opened the door, expecting James, but instead met with Gill.
I must have looked surprised, as he cleared his throat before talking. "Hello, Lizzy. You look very, flustered today."
I looked down at myself, realizing I was heaving a little from all the intense dancing. I laughed at him. "You know it bro!" I said, adapting vernacular slang from the normal teen verbatim.
"Bro?" he asked questiongly, apparently caught off guard.
I shrugged at him. "It's a term for friend, comrade, buddy, pal, companion, amigo, so on. What brings you to my humble abode?"
He cleared his throat. "Oh, right. Well, um, if you weren't busy I was wondering if… well… you know…" he stumbled through his thoughts and shifted his feet uncomfortably.
"Wanted to hang out?" I suggested, a little amused by his apparent and unexpected shyness. It was weird, but amusing to watch nonetheless.
"Ah, yes exactly. It's like you took the words out of my mouth," he semi laughed, again a very unexpected thing from the same Gill that had only two weeks ago made me hurt and be sad very badly. My necklace almost burned on my neck, in some prophetic way trying no doubt to remind me of James, but I smiled anyways back at him.
"Sure, I'd love to, I'll just change first. Do you wanna come in?" I asked him. He looked at me a little with shock, but composed himself quickly.
"No sure, of course. It's not a big deal. No, yeah, of course I'll come in," he said, a little more to himself than to me. I gave him a curious look, but he didn't seem to notice it as I led him into my living room. I went into my room and changed into a nicer blouse and capris instead of the somewhat uncomfortable spring dress I had worn that day (which I was very lucky too, since it had been such a pivotal day of high school for me). I pulled my hair back with a headband, making me look very 50's esque, an era of dress I had always found particularly flattering. I smiled at my reflection (a classic and very cliché girl moment I thought) and went out to the living room where I found Gill looking at some of my picture frames that were scattered around. He was holding a brown frame I could only see from the back, but I knew exactly what it was. I could see the picture from memory, the smiling faces, the clothing they wore, everything.
"Those are my parents, on their wedding day," I smiled sadly, meeting his blue eyes with my plain brown ones.
"Your mom, you look just like her," he said kindly after a moment's pause. I smiled at him.
"Yes, I know. I mean, I don't know personally, but I've been told by many people who knew them both." He looked at me curiously and I explained, "They were both killed when I was very young, about when I was 2 years old. Drunk driver, hit them square on when they were out. I had been at one of their friend's house, so I wasn't in the car."
He was silent for a minute as he set the frame down and moved closer to me as I wiped the corners of my eyes with a cloth that had been lying around. He looked as if he was going to hug me, but stopped short. I, however, wanted a hug, so I went into his slightly open embrace. "I'm sorry," he murmured as he set his head on the top of mine. I closed my eyes, a little at peace, but shook myself out of his grasp.
"It's fine; it's not a big deal. I'm lucky to be alive and have the blessings that I do. It's not that painful really, I actually don't know why I suddenly got very emotional," I laughed at his compassionate face. "Hey, don't be a grumpy gills about me, Gill." I paused, realizing his name and my analogy sounded very funny, and giggled a little. I started walking outside to suggest we should leave, and he followed me whole-heartedly, closing the door behind us. We startled strolling along the path as he started the conversation.
"Congratulations, by the way," he said, pointing to my necklace.
I blushed with a smile. "Oh, yeah, ha. That. It was pretty unexpected, but I thought if anyone would ask me, James would. I couldn't ask for more, he is a truly great guy."
"Are you two together?" he asked suddenly as we turned the corner into the Maple Lake District. I saw various people heading down to town and I turned to him as we stopped.
"Um, no we're not," I said as I swallowed and heard him say something under his breath that was somewhat along the lines of 'Good' but I of course could not be sure. "Why, did anyone tell you something of the sort?"
"No, just you two are together a lot and he asked you and just, I was curious," he mumbled as he put his hands in his pockets.
"Well are you and Luna together?" I demanded, a little annoyed at his sudden accusations. I put my hands on my hips and looked at him with a frown caused by the mere thinking of Luna's annoying face.
"Uh, well, no, of course, um, not," he sputtered, sounding like a defected record. "Let's just not talk about our love lives right now; it seems to make the other very angry.
"Very well then," I nodded as we continued walking. We started talking about mundane things: favorite colors, animals (neither of us was very big pet people), food, simple things that didn't require much effort to answer from either standpoint. He led me past the town to a part of the beach that seemed very recluse and out of everyone's lives and sight. I sat down first, burying my bright yellow toenails into the soft sand with a content sigh that earned a curious look from him.
"What?" I laughed at him as he sat down next to me, which I figured that he wouldn't do, just because it was Gill. He picked up a stray sea shell that looked like a unicorn's horn and started turning it over and over.
"Nothing," he stated simply as he looked up to my curious face now. "You like the ocean." It wasn't a question, it wasn't even a declaration of incredulous; he said it just as simply as he had stated 'Nothing.'
"Yes, I do," I said contently. "I've always lived near the ocean, wherever I was. It's, relaxing and always changing, always having a past of where it's been, of who's seen it, the romance and mystery of it. I mean," I turned to him, my slight lisp that I got when I started talking fast becoming more prevalent as I said, "there has to be a reason the sea is seen as such a romantic spot. Of why couple's love it, of why so many songs and poetry are written about it, even why so much history surrounds it. Love stories try to encompass the beauty; it's just such a magnificent thing." I turned to Gill, who was now looking out at the ocean as if contemplating what I had spouted out. I grinned and got closer to him so I was lying on his shoulder, earning a satisfying rigid composure from him. "Come with me, my love. To the sea, the sea of love. I want to tell you how much I love you" I sang as I closed my eyes and continued humming the rest.
We sat there for a couple of seconds and he finally asked, "Who sings that?"
"Phil Philips," I laughed, opening my eyes and getting off of him and sitting upright again. "Not my favorite song necessarily, but it seemed to fit the context."
"You do know your music," he smiled at me. I was slightly starting to whig out, wondering exactly where the Gill I knew, the grumpy Gill, was, but I smiled back, thinking I could learn to get used to the chance.
"I love music," I shrugged nonchalantly.
He was silent and continued fumbling with the shell, seeming to be struggling of what to say next. "Well, you do have a very nice voice."
"What, this manly thing?" I asked, lowering my voice 2 octaves, even though I did have a pretty low talking voice for a girl.
"I meant your singing voice. It's not bad." He looked away, uncomfortable probably with complementing someone like that.
"Oh. Thank you. I should hope it'd be good after 8 years of training and choir and such."
"That certainly takes dedication," he admitted.
I rolled my eyes. "Contrary to apparently popular belief from you Mr. Gill, I do have some sort of drive in life, thank you very much." I paused, wondering if I should share a bit about my life no one else on the island knew about. I looked up at his bright, expectant face and was met with an urge to share and talk more, so I did just that. "Music was always my constant in the different homes, how I kept going when I thought I was alone."
He looked at me peculiarly and I started explaining my life, going through different foster homes for various reasons, kids picking on me for my hand me down clothes and awkward looks, feeling unwanted by anyone, and eventually moving here. The words poured out as I looked up at his face and gauged his usually calm reaction that winced whenever I said something a little painful for me to get out. I finished my segment and looked down, drawing in the sand as I waiting for him to say something.
"How do you do it then?" he asked incredulously as I looked up at him.
"Maintain my good looks? Moisturizer and sun block; wouldn't want to get melanoma. "
He stood up, exasperated with my humor and threw his hands in the air. "Not that! Your, bubbliness. Your ability to just talk with people. How you somehow managed to be in the 'in' crowd. How you just keep going. Your charm-." He froze.
"Charm? Don't think I've ever heard myself described like that," I laughed. "Unless you're referring to the show 'Charms,' which in that case I never watched any of it."
"Your happiness," he said softer as he frowned into the ocean. The sun was setting now and cast a beautiful reflection in the waters. I stood up next to him and looked at Gill, who in the lighting had a red-gold hair instead of pale albino. It reminded me of bronze, russet coloring, that of a lion. Gill was proud like a lion, that was for sure. I smiled a little at the idea as he turned to me. "What?"
"Don't you mean pardon? Goodness, where are your manners Gill, what would the neighbors say?" I laughed softly as he sighed and looked back out. I moved a little, so I was staring at his pondering face. I was struck with my first thoughts of him, my 'mystery boy.' He was different from that time, as if the ocean and beach made him less harsh, stripping him of his usual insensitive exterior. I shook my head to clear my wandering thoughts and pushed my hair back with a small smile. "This is how."
"You know you make no sense," he said through tight lips. I shrugged.
"But that's how I'm happy. If you truly want to be happy, you have to let go of all your cares and stress and, issues. They don't matter. All that matters is focusing on the future and not dwelling on the petty things others do. At least, those are my thoughts," I shrugged as I turned around and started the walk home, realizing how hungry I was. As with when I had first really gotten to talking with him, he grabbed my wrist. This was different though. Maybe it was the deeper talking, or the fact he now knew my whole life. Maybe it was just because this was Gill, and Gill never reacted like this with anyone. Maybe it was the beach getting to me, wanting me to have romance in my life. Maybe it was even that I was at peace and I felt he didn't want me to leave any more than I did and that he only held me by a gentle grab. It was enough so that I turned around to look at him, the sun creating a halo behind his head.
"Are you… You know… You don't have to go right now," he said, shaking his head.
"I kind of have to," I said, pointing to my super growly stomach. He bit his lip.
"Have dinner with me. My house. It's getting dark, I don't want you to walk home by yourself and worry about dinner when it's my fault you're out here."
"Its fine," I shrugged. "I don't mind and don't live that far anyways. Unless you're worried about me because axe murderers live here?" I asked as he looked a little shocked. Maybe it was a little much in the dramatic department, but I shrugged. "One can only hope!"
"I insist, as friends," he almost pleaded. I really was starting to be concerned. Gill never cared before. He also never talked deeply or even wanted my friendship back in his life until earlier this day. As if in memory my new shiny necklace reflected onto his chest. I stepped back, feeling its burden.
"I, I can't. I'm sorry," I swallowed as I walked backwards and voyaged to my house, much more disappointed than I'd thought I'd be. But, even if James and I were not official, whatever had happened was probably not fair to him at all. I don't know if Gill followed me or stared after me, all I knew was that I was an emotional teenager, and being a teenager was super complicated.
The rest of that week was better than the weeks before it. Of course all the girls gossiped about my pretend love life, but James and I laughed it out and tried not to notice it every time we were together. However, we were used to it already and I personally was eagerly awaiting a new topic to take the precedence of news all over the school. The week got better though, because Gill and I were on talking terms again and could easily converse in chemistry or even in passing by. Neither of us brought up what had happened Monday night making me wonder personally if it had been a figment of my imagination instead of actual events. There were times though, when he talked to me or our eyes met, that I knew it wasn't.
That weekend was the official weekend before the dance and a big party was held. It was either for Luna or Chase's birthday, I really wasn't sure. All I knew was that there was a beach party, everyone was going to be there, and that both Gill and James would be there, which in my mind was all that mattered.
I dressed Saturday morning in my blue and white polka dotted bathing suit, pinning my hair up in a high messy bun. I wore a white tank top and cute blue shorts over it, making sure to grab a towel and lots of sun block (I wasn't kidding with Gill that one time; I was terrified of getting melanoma because I was so white, so I always had intense amounts on). I smiled, reassured with my reflection, and hurried off to the beach Gill and I had been at only a couple days before.
When I got there, almost everyone was playing already. Kathy and a girl I didn't recognize with red hair were playing beach volleyball, but mainly people were either in the ocean or lying down on towels. I got up on my tip-toes, trying to spot a familiar tuft of blonde hair, but was then immediately pulled up by a pair of very strong arms. I gasped, trying to hit my assailant.
"Put me down!" I squealed, hitting James on his arm as he laughed. He had abandoned his glasses today, making his eyes twinkle brighter as he started walking with me to the ocean. I sucked in my breath. "Not there!"
He sighed dramatically, falling down on the beach so that I fell on him as well. "Well, you are no fun," he pouted, though I could still see a smile forming in the corner of his mouth.
"I think you'll live," I laughed at him as I righted myself up, trying not to notice the fact that he was already not wearing a shirt. I may have been 16, but I was still not all too comfortable with shirtless guys, which wasn't helped in any way, as he had a decently muscled body. Just keep your eyes on his, eyes Liz I thought to myself as Kathy shouted at me to join in her game. I looked at James who shrugged and got up and graciously get me up as well. I wiped off the sand and eagerly went to get into the game.
It ended up being James, Kathy, and me against Luke, Owen, and the red-haired girl who was so obviously flirting with Luke it wasn't even funny. Kathy and Owen were bash-talking each other on the opposite sides, but in the cute equally flirty way. I sighed as I tucked my hair loose strands of hair behind my ears. So it was going to be one of those days.
I turned to James. "Okay, so you have to promise, not to make fun of my playing because I, suck. Very badly." He started laughing and I hit his arm. "I'm being totally serious, I do!"
He smiled and put his arm around me playfully. "It's okay, I'm not that good myself. We'll just bear through it together though and it hopefully won't last long. Besides, you have my necklace and that ma'am, is pretty lucky stuff."
I looked down at my chain and smiled. "Well then, I guess I'll be in good shape today."
"That's the sprit hun," he laughed as I forced a smile. I didn't mind pet names usually, except for one. Hun. Ugh, it bothered me. It was like your beloved other was trying to call you a bee or something which was always weird to me. I tried not showing how much it bothered me though and instead focused on the game.
After an intense game that involved me dodging every ball that came my way and attempting to serve but failing miserably, it was lunch time. By this point, it was clear that everyone who was going to come had already arrived, but I still saw no familiar platinum head. We got into the lunch line of barbequed hot dogs and hamburgers (done by Chase and helped by Owen who had left the game a couple of times to do so) and I tried hiding my disappointment so James wouldn't see me sad about something again. I grabbed a burger as we both headed to the circle of our friends. He sat next to me as I ate silently, a little disappointed Gill wasn't there. Luna also looked very angry as she pouted near we were sitting. She was talking to who I thought was her sister very loudly in a way that we could hear every word she said.
"I can't believe he's not here," she hissed to her sister. I didn't want to turn to look at her, so I started eating as I still attentively listened.
"He does get busy sometimes," her companion reminded kindly. Definitely her sister.
"He said that he would be here. He even promised. Typical Gilbert though!" she sighed angrily as I looked up and saw Gill coming up to the beach- shirt thankfully still on-, his attire more beach friendly than normal. As he came up I noticed Luna get quieter, probably expecting a lengthy apology from him, but instead all she got was him coming straight up to me, ignoring her completely. I had to admit it was humorous, but still very confusing.
"Hey Lizzy, can I set my stuff near yours?" he asked, holding out a towel with rubber ducks on it. I held back a giggle as I nodded, motioning a spot right next to my bag. He went to go get food as I smiled into my burger, happy once again that everyone I wanted to be here was in fact here. I turned to James as he gave me a quizzical look.
"You know, it's just such a nice day," I grinned cheekily at him. He set down his plate down and ran his fingers through his hair which for some reason made me laugh. I couldn't help it though. Even if Luna was a total jerk to me right now I would still laugh; I was just in way to much of a good mood.
"You're such a weird girl," he laughed as I shrugged nonchalantly. He stood up then got on his knees right in front of me. "I've decided, Miss Elizabeth, you are way too relaxed today and not nearly as wet as you should be."
I gasped but continued giggling as he grabbed me in a carrying position. He marched us to the ocean, much to the laughs and cheers of everyone else. I tried not noticing his strength, as if I was no more than a feather, but was sadly not invincible against the power of what muscles could do about a girl's fantasies. He held me in his arms as he started the journey into the sea. As we got in deeper I could feel the cool water on my back and I squealed like the girl I was. James laughed and I scrunched my face in concentration and wiggled myself a little in a position so that my legs were around his chest. If it bothered him, he didn't say anything, but I could tell he was a little surprised.
"Now sir, I've decided. Either you take me back to shore, or, you're going down with me," I grinned devilishly at him, my inner flirt somehow emerging from the shell it had buried itself in for the past 16 years. He shrugged and let his legs collapse so we both went under. As soon as I was up I gasped as I hadn't expected him to actually go through with it. I started hitting and splashing him as he laughed, not remembering exactly or that the whole student population was on the beach probably staring at us. He grabbed me in his arms as we slightly struggled in the water in a super playful way. I was just having such a good time and was caught up in the moment that before I knew it I had turned around and kissed him on the cheek. He blinked down at me as his face broke into a grin that reminded me of a little boys' expression when he got caught in the cookie jar but was still trying to make you feel sorry for him. It was adorable and I thought I was finally going to do it, and actually kiss him when the beach erupted in wolf whistles.
"Get a room!" Owen laughed, taking a swig of what I hoped was just root beer. We turned back to them, me still in his arms. I slipped out of them looked at his eyes, which were twinkling in happiness. I grinned at him and grabbed his hand, leading us back to everyone. A couple peopled now looked at me with shock, but I was used to it by now. As I scanned faces (most of them smiling at me), one stood out particularly, but I had chosen not to dwell on it at that moment. However, when I went to bed that night, the same face bore into my conscience.
It was Gill, sitting there in almost the same position we had been Monday, and having the most shocked and disappointed look on his face as he started at me and the boy whose hand I had been holding. And it was this face that threw me off guard so that I couldn't truly understand what had happened to him and to us this whole week.