13. Lorenzo the Frisky
Year 327-388, born to Ursula and Wally
Lorenzo Weller stood at the doorway to his vast love den. He was shirtless, and had a rose in his mouth. In the maws of a normal person, the thorns would cut his lips and leave wicked canker sores. But Weller mouths are mouths of steel, along with certain other parts.
"Lushi, I'm hoooome!" he said sexily, though his voice was muffled by the flower.
"Lorenzo, daaaahling, you have come to make love to me?" asked Lucinda, spread out on one of the many beds that littered the tacky love-den.
"Yes, I am almost ready for our love-making session." Lorenzo walked over to a mirror, and flipped a few strands of hair in front of his eyes.
"Now I am ready."
And so they made Weller love in Lorenzo Weller's Weller Love Den. It was extremely romantic.
"Thank you for your services, scribe. You don't have to write anymore of this down. I'll take it from here." So I, the castle scribe, put down my quill and went to wash out my eyes. With acid. Another scribe would replace me tomorrow, and the carnage would continue. Shinou help us all.