People said the funeral was beautiful. They said it was a gorgeous day, a day usually designated for picnics by the river. Alanna thought rain would have been more appropriate. And she could not see what was so beautiful about the funeral. She had just tossed a rose down on top of her brother's casket before sprinkling it with a handful of soil. What was beautiful about that? Thayet had told Alanna that she looked very pretty in the black dress and black veil that now floated softly in front of her face with the summer breeze. Alanna could have cared less what she looked like. She thought it was more fitting to not look pretty at a funeral. After all, what was so god damn lovely about saying goodbye to her other half?

Alanna continued to stand at her brother's gravesite long after the others had left. Her hands still shook, as they had all morning. She wasn't ready. She couldn't do it. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She shouldn't have to say goodbye, to turn her back and never see his face or hear his voice again. How could she do it? How could she go on without him? No one could understand how deep of a chasm Roger had opened in her heart. And that made her realization that much more unbearable: she was alone.

Alone.

The last Trebond.

She and Thom should have had years; a lifetime. Now that was all ashes and dust; a fleeting whisper of a dream.

"Alanna," a voice called from behind her.

She spun, still on edge from the battle, hand going to a sword that was not there until she recognized Coram. "I'm fine. I'm coming in soon."

"Take yer time. I just wanted to let ye know that Sir Myles is lookin' for ye," He paused, inspecting his knight mistress. "Did ye sleep at all last night lass?"

Alanna laughed bitterly, "Did I sleep? No Coram, I didn't. Every time I close my eyes I see new nightmares. Falling asleep is the last thing I want to do," she glanced back at Thom's grave. "Besides, if I don't fall asleep, I don't need to make up a reason to get up in the morning and then feel awful when nothing comes to mind," she added softly, her voice barely a whisper.

Coram's shoulder's drooped. He could think of nothing to say to his girl. And she was his; he had raised her and now, after burying the boy who he watched grow and who always managed to make his sister's face light with joy, he could do nothing, say nothing to take the pain away. He turned and walked back into the palace.

Alanna stayed, staring at her brother's final resting place, wishing for something, anything. She didn't know if she wanted time to speed up so that the pain would be less or for it to slow down so that she could put off the goodbye she knew she needed to say. As the sun set, she remained in a state of indecision, hoping beyond hope that the darkness would engulf her and let her escape, if only for a little while.

______________________________________________________________________________Thayet found her there an hour later. In fact, she nearly stumbled over the sitting knight. There was no moon to light the sky tonight. After a day of sunshine, Alanna thought it was appropriate. The darkest part of her life should have the darkest night.

"Come home, Alanna," her friend said. "Myles is worried sick."

Alanna allowed herself to be helped to her feet. She found comfort in her friend as Thayet wrapped an arm around her waist, half supporting her as they began their journey back to the house. Alanna was grateful to Thayet for allowing her to remain silent on the walk. She wasn't in the mood to talk.

Thankfully, when they reached the house, the others realized this as well and let Alanna retire to her rooms. Once there, Alanna threw off her dress, pulling on a large bed shirt and snuggled deep under the covers, taking comfort in the softness of her bed and the deep, inviting pillows. She felt drained, physically and emotionally. All she wanted to do was sleep dreamlessly but every time she closed her eyes she saw one of them: Liam, Faithful, Thom.

The worst was seeing Roger. She imagined what it would be like if he had won. She could see his smiling face, watching her chained and broken. "You see, Lioness," he would say, "I have taken everything from you. I told you I would." She would open her eyes and try to reassure herself that it wasn't true. He was dead. Gone. She hadn't lost everything; it only seemed that way. She still had Myles, Coram, Thayet, and Buri. Jon was fine; Tortall would not be torn apart by civil war. And George made it through the battle, although not completely unscathed. They would heal and move on with their lives, Alanna with them. It would just take time.

Although her mind told her all of this, Alanna still felt uneasy. By now, the rest of the house had gone to bed and it was too quiet for her taste. She threw off the covers and got out of bed, silently opening the door and tip toeing down the hall. She stopped in front of a door, thinking about the person inside and began to worry again. Which dream was right? Was this it? Was he gone as well? She turned the handle, praying she really was awake for the first time since she buried Thom.