PHASES

Chapter Two: Where is my mind?

A girl asked her friend a random but simple question.

''Where is my mind?''

The girl's friend replied.

''Are you high?''

Wasn't this a legit question?

I asked my friend, Jenna a similar question and she responded with a similar answer.

What's the reason or motive behind a question like that? Simple.

You know how things can obsessively preoccupy your thoughts? And you go to to grab something, or go to talk to someone and end up not being in place that you wanted to be, Where was your mind? It happens to me all the time, my mind is always buzzing with thoughts and it's usually the same thing over and over again (The zoning out thing is a real bother too, it's intense thinking but nothing important to remember, what a mind fuck). Sometimes, I try to block it out and think of other things or do something to distract myself. Well, that is what I am doing now.

Tom.

Tom is the current topic in my brain and what he does to my brain's friend (being) my body.

I hate my brain, seriously I do. It never shuts off, zoning out never happens anymore since I ended up in this fucked up 3-D library. Yes, yes it is a 3-D library with walking and talking books. It's kinda creepy since I grew up reading about most of the League members. I know all about Tom Sawyer and his friend Huckleberry Finn, their adventures both humorous and sometimes frightening. I know about Mrs. Mina Harker and her story of love and horror. I loved the movie Dracula with Wionya Rider, it's actually one of my top favorites.But, I never knew that she became a chemist. Maybe it had something to with Doctor Van Helsing and that Asylum doctor who wanted to marry Lucy...I can't even remember his name. I actually never heard of Quaterrmain, but I am figuring since the other's are characters from novels then he must be one too. Dr. Jekyll is a familiar name and I bet a Mister Hyde will eventually show up,I never really had a chance to read their book.

Captain Nemo is another who I know of but never read about, I am sure if I ask he'll tell me but I am kinda embarrassed to.

Rodeny Skinner is a guy I can't help but laugh at, he's the comic relief I assume, Invisible to boot too. I have skimmed 'The invisable man' in my old school library before but never fully read it but, i know enough that Mister Skinner is not the same dude from the novel. I wonder what's his story.

The picture of Dorian Gray is a book I fully read in my freshmen year of high school, at the end of the year I had to answer a few questions on a final exam in as much detail as I could. I remember being nervous as hell and the sweat I was producing kept making my fingers slide down the pen, my high school career relied on this book report. I made a 85 which I think is just a B, you know I hate when teachers use A- A+ and A. I think I know that a something-five is mid and anything above or below that is a high or a low whatever the letter grade may be.

Anyways, I do kinda have a bias opinion against Mister Gray. To me and others in agreement he seems a literary two faced villian written to perfection but, there are those who think of him as a gothic hero of Barnes and Nobel's classics. I remember being happy and wanting to see Sybil and Dorian together but when it seems too good to be true it usually is. Dorian Gray ends up breaking her heart, very coldily I might add and the poor girl could not take such a rejection of her hopes and kills herself. I think out of everything else that he did -which was a lot of bad stuff- the worst was the death of Miss Vane, even though he wasn't the one that killed her he made it happen. And, you guessed it.

My father's favorite work of Oscar Wilde is The picture of Dorian Gray and I am named after Sybil Vane.

I think Dorian was a little taken back when Nemo introduced me to the others, at first his smile was very smugged and soon as Nemo said ''This is Miss Sybil'', his face fell abit.

It's kinda creepy knowing someone might be sucked into their own picture and rot away...Then again I don't have think about him much since he avoids me a lot. I don't think I look like Sybil Vane. He may just be over-reacting like a brat...Or something like that.

I think...I am reading into much on this Gray character, I am sure the others have done very bad things-that may have read, not read about- but he takes the cake so to speak.

A warm breath whispers in my ear.'' Ay, Sybil. Going stand in the hall all day?''

Speak of the devil...Well, one of them.

Skinner's accent makes me smile and I couldn't help but turn around and grin at him, well...Where ever he was.

''No.'' I laughed slightly.

''Good. If ya stand in the hall any longer I think that Doctor might have ya committed.'' He chuckle next to me.

''I don't think he can do that, Rod.'' I roll my eyes, it made him chuckle more.

''Rod? Is that me name now?''

''I guess so.'' I winked at him and started to walk away.

I loved messing with him, of course he'll get me back sooner or later...Knowing him as long as I have, I say sooner.

''Oi! Where ya going now?'' He laughed/shouted at me.

I stopped and thought about it then realized...''I have no idea.''

''Well, where were ya going before?'' His voice was suddenly beside me.

''Um...I don't know that either.'' I rubbed my arm a bit.

''Well...'' I could picture him rubbing the back of his head. ''What do you know?''

''You, know...'' I laughed. ''I could easily break out into song right now.''

''Why don't ya?'' He slapped me on the back and not anywhere else thank god.

''Because my mouth is kinda dry...Oh, hey! I was going to get something to drink!'' I jumped up and laughed.

Skinner laughed and gave me a one armed hug, I kinda hugged him back. He reminded me of my friend Bav.

Bav is like the third brother I never had, he's funny and awesome and seriously is a straight-up man whore but the best manfriend I ever had. We use to get in alot of trouble together before he moved to Cornwall, England with his aunt and uncle who turn out to be my father's good friends almost a year ago. Me and Bav have been friend's since we were rolling around in diaper's and the circle of my friends have been steadily growing smaller and smaller, now it's almost just me and Jenna mostly.

I think since my father's a Brit and my mother is American I am kinda screwed up then most people's kids.

I am half and half of my parents, I have both my father's wit and my mother's boldness. I am polite but still a total ass.

It's good to be both.

''Don't you wanna break out into song?'' Rod teased me.

''No, not now. I'll wait until dinner...By the way why did you yell at Dr.Jekyll?'' I asked while we walked down the hall together.

''Oh, that.'' He casually stated, which I snickered silently at.

''Oh, that...'' I mimicked him. ''Come'on, out with it.'' I demanded.

''Your a little feisty today.'' He chuckled, his grip on me tighten.

''Spill it.''

''I just wanted to see what the uptight bloke would do!''

''So you randomly yelled he was a skinny useless nancy boy?'' I raised an eyebrow.

''Oh, you just heard the end of it.'' Skinner laughed and I wonder what happen before.

''Can you tell me how it all started?'' I asked, we turned a corner and headed down another hall...I never been down before.

''Maybe later, I'm a bit hungry.'' He was stalling.

''Ugh. Fine, be that way!'' I removed his see-through arm from around my shoulder and ran off.

Never did I hesitated when he yelled for me to wait, I smiled and continued to run. It felt good to run even if I was a little fatty. I tried to dogged the workers as I pasted them, some gave me weird looks, others laughed and waved me by. I slid into a wall as I turned a corner, for some reason I half look where i am going and I half look at the ground. While I began to run again I looked to the floor, a pair of brown leather shoes came into view and I was suddenly stopped and not on my own accord.

''Hey, Sybil.''

Tom.

The heat I had in my stomach for him rushed into my cheeks but, I wasn't going to let him see me blush. I didn't like being real girlie around guys, since I used to hang out with a lot of guys I acted like one for a while and sometimes it's a real bother when matter over takes mind. I turned my head a little bit so he wouldn't be able to tell the skin tone of my cheeks.

''Hey, Tom.''

I could see him smile, how he smiled more and more at my voice saying his name.

''What were ya running for? Or who were ya running from?''

''Rod-I mean-Skinner.'' I stammered.

''Was he bugging ya?'' His voice became a little protective.

''Oh, no-no. I just got tired of him not answering my questions.''

''Oh.'' He blinked. ''So ya were bugging him!'' He laughed.

''I wouldn't say that, Tom.'' I smiled a little and his smile grew.

I wonder how far his smile could stretch until his lips slit in two, and began to noticed he was still in the clothes he was in this morning.

As soon as Breafast and Rod's teasing of how I didn't eat much-I don't like to get full, I feel sick if I do-was over I had found my cabin and changed into my modern clothes. The period clothes I had on were nice but I felt much more comfortable in my cookie monster long sleeve shirt and some baggy blue-jeans.

''You remembered what killed the cat, don't ya?''

I cracked a wider smile and joked.

''Yeah, I do. A curious boot.''

Tom chuckled, I think he was more relaxed when I joke around with him. When I first came here, he was a bit nervous talking to me. I guess my wardobe threw him off, I know from reading 'Tom Sawyer' and general knowlege that chick's didn't wear pants in that time-this time and I was sending him threw a bigger loop of with the way I speak and how I present myself, not very lady like...Or so I have been told.

I cuss a lot...It really get's on Mister Q's nerves.

I stub my toe on purpose sometimes just so I can say 'Son of a bitch, mother fucker, god dammit' in his presence.

I bask in the looks he gives me.

''Where were you going Tom? Going to shoot something?'' I teased him, reaching up and pinching his cheek a bit like an adult would do to a child.

He took my hand away from his face as he laughed but, he didn't let go of it.

''Maybe.'' He wagged his eyebrows.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud a bit, he looked goofy and reminded me of Bav.

''Wanna go up for some fresh-air?'' He asked, looking down at my hand.

I have small hands but, that couldn't be why he was looking at it for. Women-chicks are suppose to have small hands.

He was looking at the orange and black polish on my fingers and I grinned at his confused look.

''Sure, Tom. And by the way...My painted nails are a girl-modern thing.'' I took my hand back.

''Is it, or are you just a bit strange.'' For a minute he smiled and then his look changed as if to take it back.

''It's both, trust me.'' I laughed.

''I will.'' He had this look in his eye...I knew he wanted to kiss me. He didn't think I would let him but, who knows maybe I'll surprise him?

Nah, I'll wait later.

You gotta love boys...Especially ones from this era. Too cute.

"Well, let's get a going.'' And I followed beside him, we met Mina on the way and she looked...I dunno.

I couldn't really figure out her expression. I glanced up at Tom...He was looking down at me.

''Hiya.'' I smiled and half laughed.

''Hey...'' He smiled back...More warmly then I expected.

I looked back at Mina, she had hurried her pace a bit. Power walker.

''You know Tom...I look at all these hall ways and I fell like I am in a labyrinth, do you have a map or something to help you? Or do you just know?''

I wanted to break my own awkwardness. I don't know if Mina would mind or not, or did she really noticed at all? Of course she did, she's a woman like me.

Well...She's more woman then I am that's for sure.

''I just know.'' He said very reassuring like, gently placing a hand on my back for a second before being ashamed I guess and drawling it back.

I smiled up at him as if to tell him not to worry about it.

When we reached the metal stair-case he stopped and moved to the side, gesturing that I go first.

I laughed and gestured back.''Ladies first, Tom.''

He crossed his arms and gave me a serious look...He wasn't laughing. I stopped laughing and looked up like I was sorry.

He didn't smile.

I quietly walked up the stairs, fuck...I messed up.

I heard him walking behind me and I didn't like the silence that grew in the space bewtween us.

I felt compiled to say something...Like 'I'm sorry, it was a joke.'

Or...'Jesus Christ you can't take a poke at your male ego...'

Okay, maybe that one is a bit too harsh.

He started to laugh...He was laughing!

I spun around and his head collated with my collar bone and chest. Awkward...

''I want to strangle you right, now.'' I laughed slightly and said angrily.

He was blushing, I guessed from the forceful contact with my breasts.

I kissed his cheek to cheer him up, ''Relax Tom. It's not like you haven't touched them before...Let alone not seen them...In person.''

I turned around and started to climb the stairs again-only a few steps anyways-before I could see his reaction to my words. The metal door was cracked and I could feel the wind forcing it's way through the metal and tussling my hair. I pushed it open and two brown eyes held my gaze as soon as the door reviled the deck.

Dorian Gray.

Tom shifted behind me and I smiled a little and moved out of his way and headed toward the side, away from Gray. The warm breeze was pleasant and I enjoyed the warmth I received both from the sun and the wind. I stared out into the horizon, leaning on myself on the railing and watching the ocean being split in two by the ship.

Mina was already in one of the lounge chairs, enjoying a book of some kind as I looked towards my left. Past her Dorian stood alone, his hands out in front of him, rubbing the railing and looking out. On my right stood Tom, he was looking past me...I guess to Mina.

I looked over my shoulder and the doctor stood with his back against the railing, looking at his pocket watch.

I was standing among three men...All after the same thing.

Mina.

It is a bit akward, yeah but...Oh well.

Miss Harker is a woman...A woman with a lot to offer.

I wish sometimes I wasn't as much self aware as I am, it's a bit degrading at times.

A voice that never shuts off, tells you what you are and what you will never be. A voice that challenges you at every turn, a voice that is only good to bring you down and push aside distractions when you most need them. Life sucks monkey balls.

I rubbed my temple and turned around to lean against the railing, the voice needed to leave me alone. I thought being away from home would help, but atlas' the voice found me anyways and didn't understand the term 'vacation'. I sighed and looked at Tom, he was looking at my feet...I was wearing vans.

I guess I stuck out like a sore thumb among everyone else, pants and weird shoes, not to forgot this weird cookie eating blue thing on my shirt.

I felt special, in a good and a bad way.

Yay.

I was going to say something but, my voice didn't come. I kinda didn't want to break the windy silence...On a side note, does Rod wear invisable clothes...Or...?

''OHMYGOD EW!!'' I squeaked jumping back from Tom and bumping against the metal door.

Everyone reacted in their own way.

Dorian looked leisurely over his shoulder at me and gave a smirk and looked away.

Mina put her book down in her lap and looked at me through her glasses, ''Are you alright...Sybil?'' I liked how she said my name liked she tried to remember it.

Dr.Jekyll is the one who I startled the most, he almost dropped his watch and he came over to inspect me.

Tom is the one with the most confusion on his face, maybe he thought I was talking about him...Or more like screaming about him.

I started to laugh, his face was so funny. And the doctor was so timid!

Everyone had a confused look now.

''A-Are you okay?'' Stuttered Dr.Jekyll.

''I was hugged...By a naked invisible man.'' I laughed, half shivered.

''Oh.'' He looked confused at first then disgusted.

''Invisible clothes...Ha!'' I laughed, sliding down to the floor.

Tom wanted to smile, I could tell but he just stood there...Looking half angry and half glad.

Dorian was facing me- us- now, looking at me-us- with the same smirk. I laughed at his smirk and stood up-shakily but, still I stood up and bushed myself off. Tom cocked his head and I smiled, ''I have to go Kill Skinner...Right now.''

Dr.Jekyll gave a timid grin, ''I'll help.''

Mina gave a little smile and pulled her book back in front of her face, Dorian still looked in my direction.

''I'll kill him with ya too.'' Tom said with the same tone of protectiveness as before.

I laughed and pinched his left cheek, ''Your so sweet.''

He grinned and his face flushed a little with not embarrassment, with pride.

I opened the metal door and the two men followed behind me, I sprinted down the metal stairs...Almost losing my balance a few times but I was in control. When I started to run through the hall way I realized I didn't know which one we came from...Oh, wait! That Picture of was over there and I remember seeing it as we walked through, we came from here! I started to zoom for it but a hand reached out and grabed my elbow.

''Sybil...We didn't come from there, we came from over there.'' Tom said pointing behind him, where Jekyll was polietly waiting for us at the end of another hall.

''Oh...'' I mummbled, slightly confused. ''But I remember that picture...''

''Ya do know that that picture is all over the place, I know, I've seen it even in my own room!'' He chuckled at my disappointed face.

''Okay, Tom. I will take your word for it." I followed him and I stayed behind him and the doctor.

I was feeling like a little child. I wanted to learn this ship so I can walk on my own and not need anyone to show me...I do kinda want to sneak out too, but I've been avoiding to on the thought of being lost and eaten by...Those weird demon god looking statues that I see around. I have a child like imagination...It's runs away sometimes. I felt skipping and dancing for some reason but, I kept that inside. I was already dubbed 'Strange' by everyone else, which is quite funny when you think about it. I looked down and watched my feet, I looked up and stared at the ceiling, studying the design of it's splotches.

I always had a knack for finding faces in things like that, especially wood and carpet. But, isn't that human nature to find something of our likeness in objects?

''Psss...Sybil, what's going' on?'' A voice whispered in my ear, warm breath tickling my skin.

I jumped a little. Then realized who it was...Even if I couldn't see him.

Tom glanced back at me, ''Did ya say something?''

''No.'' I said, looking at him like he was nuts.

And that seem to do the trick for he turned around shaking his head a little.

How was I going to commuicate with Rod without anyone knowing?

Oh.

I reached in my back pocket and found my favorite red pen, I pulled up my sleeve and began scribbling.

Me...We are going to kill you.

I can imagen the look on his face and I giggled mentally at it.

A unseen hand took the pen away from me and began writing on my arm under what I had wrote. He was writing small to save room i guess...Or not to cover my arm entirely with writing. I didn't mind if we did, I usually get bored in my chemistry class and write or draw on my self...Sharpies work best.

Why? What did I do this time?

I smiled and 'he' handed the pen back to me and I began to write.

Your hugging young girls...

I can see him cocking his head as he took the pen back and began writing

That's no reason to kill me.

I sighed and took the pen.

...Naked.

I wrote it next to my last messgage and I heard a soft 'oh' next to me.

I covered my arm back up and put the pen in my back pocket, Tom looked back at me again and I waved at him grinning.

He smiled and shook his head.

''Are we really going to kill Skinner?'' I asked walking up beside Tom.

''Yes.''

''You know, it's not liked he hugged Mina or anything.'' I searched his face.

He stopped walking and looked at me, 'a lot' more intently then I expected.

I could hear Skinner in my ear. ''Oh, you done it now girl.''

''Why do ya say that?'' He was acting dumb.

''Tom please...I am not blind, not deaf nor stupid.'' I walked off, I like to provoke people's emotions. It's what I do.

I could hear Dr. Jekyll talking to Tom but, I wasn't pay attention much to hear exactly what was said.

I turned the corner. ''Rodney?'' I whispered.

''Yes.'' He answered next to me.

''Do you know where my room is?'' I asked, smiling like idiot.

''Oi.'' He sighed.

a/c: yeah this was super long, huh?

Anyways, tell me what you think...I personally think that I am all over the place.