Thayet watched her friend gallop through the gates, flaming hair blowing behind her. She saw George walk out of the stables, looking dejected. She knew the reason for this because she had talked things over with Alanna a few hours before.
"How are you going to tell George that you're leaving?" Thayet had asked, pulling some breeches out of Alanna's bureau.
Alanna sighed, folding a shirt and placing it into a saddle bag, "I don't know. I think I might have made a mistake, going to him that night like I did. I know he understands why I did it but I'm still afraid I gave him too much hope. I can't hurt him again, Thayet. I won't."
"Again?" her friend asked curiously, handing Alanna the breeches.
"Well he never said anything to make me believe that he was upset about Liam but he stayed away, even at Beltane. I'm afraid I hurt him and he was wondering whether I was going to choose Jon or Liam over him. He hides it well, but Eleni mentioned that he once said he couldn't see how he could beat the Shang Dragon and the king of Tortall," Alanna shook her head, a small smiling spreading on her face, "Which is just silly since he always was the one who said that if I loved, birth and fame wouldn't matter to me. He was right. Those things never mattered with Jon and Liam."
"Are you ready to tell all of this to him though? To tell him that you would choose him?" her friend asked. Thayet anxiously waited for the answer since she herself still believed that Alanna could choose Jon, despite the knight's apparent protests. They were just so close. How could Thayet not worry? She didn't want to lose Jon, not when she'd just found him.
"No. Definitely not." Thayet's heart sank a little.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because I'm not ready. I'm not ready to open up my heart to someone just yet. It wouldn't be fair to them and it certainly wouldn't be fair to me. I need time to heal, to move on, to forget."
"You'll never forget," Thayet reminded her, "You'll never get over it. But you'll learn to live with it. Besides," she continued, "you don't want to forget. You never want to forget who they were and the sacrifices they made." She paused, contemplating whether or not she should share something with Alanna. Deciding, she said softly, "I know this will sound horrible but sometimes I can't remember my mother's face. I close my eyes and I can see her in my mind but her face is a blur. But I remember what she looked like before she died. I remember the determination and sorrow in her face the last time I saw her alive. I find that if I remember that, it is easier to remember what she looked like smiling. Hold on to Thom's final goodbye, and you'll hold on to your memories. He won't ever fade for you. Neither will the others."
Alanna simply gazed at her friend, awestruck. Even after everything she had learned about the princess, she was still stunned by her strength. Letting the words sink in and answer the question she had held in her heart since the burials, she whispered, "Do you promise I won't forget? I've been terrified I would. Sometimes I feel like I won't be able to recall Thom's voice or the exact color of Liam's eyes when he was happy."
Thayet walked over to her friend, taking both of Alanna's hands and squeezing. "I will help you to remember. I promise. I promise I will never let you forget. Between the two of us, the memory of the three of them will last our entire lives."
Alanna smiled, "Thank you. Thank you so much." Thayet nodded and tried to return to their packing but Alanna held onto her hands. "Can you do me another favor?" At Thayet's nod she took a breath and continued, "Will you look after George for me? Write me to tell me how he is doing until I can do it myself? "
Although Thayet was surprised at this request and the intensity in her friend's voice and eyes, "Of course. Good luck in the desert, Alanna. Don't worry about anything. Buri and I will keep them all in line," she said, smiling.
"Well then," Alanna stepped back, and picked up a shirt, tossing it into Thayet's face with a wicked grin, "Let's finish packing!"