Hello all! I know, I know! I already have a multi chapter fic, why am I starting a new one? Well, this fic idea just came to while listening to a song and reflecting on some things that I have gone through in my life. I'm very attached to this story because it happened to me. Sheldon and Penny are characters that I love and I wanted to play with them and see what would happen if they met each other at a Psychiatric facility. And this is the result.

This story is extremely AU. The most important things you need to know are: Sheldon and Penny are the same age. Sheldon did not go to University at eleven, he went through school like everyone else, but he is still Sheldon. Missy and Sheldon are close.

I do not own The Big Bang Theory, if I did Sheldon and Penny would be canon already! I also do not own Chris Tomlin's song 'Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)'. I am borrowing these things for my and all of these lovely readers' amusement.

I would like to say thank you so very much to my beta: lizwontcry! She was the one who demanded me to write this story on Tumblr. She is awesome, your arguments are invalid. If you haven't please check out her story: Pandora's Box.

Now without further ado, I present to you: Melancholy Serenity!

Chapter One: A Wretch Like Me

Sheldon stared at his reflection like he did every time he encountered a mirror. It had become something that he couldn't help doing, it was automatic.

Sheldon never liked what he saw. He saw weakness, he saw loneliness, he saw pain, and he saw melancholy. He couldn't remember a time when he looked in a mirror and didn't examine his reflection. He had always been analytical; it was what made him a prodigy. He saw the Universe and everything in it and he couldn't help but want to figure it out, to see how it worked. He was fascinated by every star in the sky, every pebble in his Meemaw's garden, every single atom that made up the Universe, he wanted to understand and know.

"Shelly, honey," said a faraway, vaguely familiar voice. "Shelly, we gotta go. We're gonna be late!"

Sheldon looked in the direction of the voice, it was his mom. He felt like there was something wrong with his eyes, everything was blurry and he felt like he wasn't in his body, as if he were watching himself from outside.

I need to stop. I need to go. I have to move. I cannot worry mom or Missy. I have to snap out of it!

It was a touch from Missy to his shoulder that brought him back. He looked to his right and gave her a look that he hoped said thank you. Sheldon tried to ignore the worry in her eyes. She knows. She knows I'm not right. Sheldon thought as he started walking out the door of his home in Galveston, Texas. The heat was overwhelming, it wasn't usually this hot in December but the weather, much like him, wasn't normal; he was uncomfortable in the clothes his mom insisted he wear to church. Sheldon hated church, this was one of the reasons he left and went to University. He was currently on break for Christmas and wanted to stay on campus for the break, but his mom wouldn't hear any of that. She wanted to see her youngest son. And Sheldon also didn't want to be alone on campus, and though he would never admit it, he really did miss his twin sister. Missy was sometimes entirely intolerable, but she was always there when Sheldon needed her.

Sheldon needed his sister right now. Things had started falling apart. The universe had stopped making sense. He wanted more than anything to stop the things that he sometimes saw in the dark. He could see the creatures from the pits of Hell, something Sheldon didn't even really believe in, crawling on his skin, and his walls. Sheldon tried praying to God, the one whose existence he doubted, to save him. That's what his mom always said had saved her, this God character, so where was He or it?

In the car on the way to the church on that second day of his Christmas break was when he first heard the voices. Or rather at the time it was just one. Just one voice, it might have been enough to send him over the edge had the radio not been on. It was easy for Sheldon to tune it out when he had something else to focus on. He listened and took in the lyrics to the song his mom was singing along with.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

Twas grace that taught
My heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone; I've been set free
My God, my Saviour has ransomed me!
And like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace!

Sheldon had never heard the song before, but he knew it was similar to William Wallace's traditional hymn, 'Amazing Grace'. He focused on the remaining lyrics. Sheldon liked the song; it brought some much needed comfort. It was uncharacteristic of him to find comfort in anything to do with faith because he believed in logic and what he could see, and he had never seen his mom's God. As soon as the song was over the voice in his head took over, and then it multiplied. Sheldon didn't know what to do; he couldn't silence the voices because he believed what they were saying. I am weak. I am a loser. I'll always be alone. How could anyone willingly love me? Why does everything hurt so much? Sheldon felt a burning in his eyes, he was crying. The silent tears were a physical manifestation of the pain he had held inside for so long. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Shelly, we're here," his mom said. Sheldon slowly got out of the car and walked behind his mom and sister.

All of the sudden Sheldon collapsed. His weak body could no long support his tall and lanky frame. He remembers hitting the pavement. He remembers not being able to breathe, his eyes loosing focus, his ears ringing. The last thing Sheldon remembers is hearing a scream. And then the blackness took over.

Sheldon woke up with a start. He looked around the room; it was unfamiliar, though he would have known the white walls anywhere. He was in the hospital. He could feel the IV in his arm and it made him cringe, he hated the odd sensation of having something foreign inside his body. He also noticed a blue wrist band on his left wrist. Sheldon tried to piece everything together, but none of it made any sense. He was walking to the church building with his mom and Missy and then… nothing. He looked to his right and saw his sister, sleeping.

"Missy," Sheldon croaked. "Missy, please wake up."

Missy looked up at her brother groggily, it took her a minute to register that he was awake. When she came to that realisation she stood up and ran to her brother's side.

Sheldon could tell she had been crying. The pain in her eyes went straight to his core and took his breath away.

"Wha… what happened?"

"You fell. When the ambulance came you were convulsing. They thought you were having a seizure, but once they hooked you up to their machines, the only thing abnormal was your heart rate, when we finally got here the doctors said you had a severe panic attack. They also said that you were malnourished and exhausted. You've been sleeping for about six hours." Missy suddenly changed her tone from that of sympathy to anger. "Sheldon Lee Cooper! Why haven't you been eating or sleeping? What's wrong? Please tell me! Momma and I saw your journals, the ones you've been hidin' from us. Why didn't you tell me? We tell each other everything!"

Sheldon started crying. He had reached his breaking point, he was so tired of lying, and of saying everything was OK, when nothing was OK. Everything was broken and now he had nowhere to run or hide. He was in a hospital bed with his sister crying in front of him and all he could think was that if he had gone through with killing himself last week, everyone would be better. He was a coward. He was weak.

"Missy... please, I'm sorry! It's just been so hard! I know if I had gone through with killing myself last week, you wouldn't be here and you and mom would be better off..." Sheldon paused. The look on his twin sister's face was mixture of sadness, empathy, sympathy, and more profoundly, anger. He wondered what he had said that would make Missy look this way. He was frightened.

"Sheldon, shut up! Stop saying things like that! Momma and I would have been broken if you had killed yourself. And what about Meemaw? Are you really that selfish?" Missy shouted at him. Her face was a deep crimson and her eyes were red from crying.

"No. That's why I didn't do it. I couldn't bear to see you, mom, and Meemaw go through pain like that." Sheldon whispered. He was tired of hiding his feelings and thoughts from everyone. He looked up at his sister, shame covering his entire being. He opened his mouth to continue, but Missy held up her hand to silence him.

"Shelly, you know what happens now, right?"

"No." Sheldon honestly had no clue.

"You can't go home or back to the University."

"What? Why? I don't understand! I can't stay here! I need my things! I need my bed! I need to finish my work! I'm fine now, Missy I promise! I won't think those things anymore!" Sheldon's words were filled with a desperation Missy had never heard from her brother before.

"Shelly, momma signed you over to the care of the hospital. She had no choice. When she saw your journals and then showed them to the doctor, they told her what she needed to do. It's the law, the social worker explained to momma and me that if you are considered a danger to you, others, or both; you have to be sectioned. They said they found a bed for you at a psychiatric ward at The Methodist Hospital, where you have to stay for at least 72 hours. You leave later this evening." Missy stated solemnly.

Sheldon stared at his sister. He had gone past the point of feeling anything in the time it had taken her to say what she had just said. It was like his brain and his body disconnected. Suddenly, Sheldon jumped out of his bed he vaguely felt the IV rip out of his arm, and lunged at Missy. She tried to run, but he was faster. He pinned her down to the floor. She was shrieking and her eyes were filled with fear.

"Sheldon! Stop! You're hurting me! Sheldon, please, please stop!" Missy cried out.

"You're lying! Why are you doing this to me? I thought you cared about me! Why would you and mom do this to me? How cou-" Sheldon felt hands on his arms, pulling him off of his sister.

"Get off! Don't touch me! You can't touch me! Missy! Please tell them! They can't touch me! Mom! Momma! You can't let them take me!" Sheldon was thrashing about and shouting at the top of his lungs. Two patient care assistants had him by the arms. The door to his room swung open and in came his mom and three nurses. Two helped the patient care assistants try to control his flailing limbs, while the third was preparing a syringe. Sheldon saw the needle and he became even more desperate in his attempt to free himself from the four people who were now securing restraints to his feet and wrists.

The nurse with the syringe came up to him, and Sheldon gave her a pleading look. He was nowhere near calm, he was still struggling against his restraints, begging and pleading. He looked over to his sister who had the saddest look on her face that he had ever seen. His mom was crying. This only furthered his distress.

"Please, let me go. I promise I'll be better. Missy, tell them I can be better. Tell them! Tell-" Sheldon felt a stab in his arm and he screamed. He was cursing everyone and everything. It only took the sedative a couple of seconds before Sheldon felt like his was losing touch with everything.

"Missy… sorry… Mom…" Sheldon fought to stay conscious. He looked at his family and he felt a lone tear fall down his face. The last thing he heard were the slightly distorted voices of his mom and sister telling him that everything was going to be okay. He watched them walk slowly towards him and then nothing.

Missy was disturbed. She had never seen her brother so upset before. Her mom was talking to the pastor of their church, trying to get him to come down to the hospital. Missy had to put a stop to that immediately.

"Yes, pastor. My boy isn't right. He's got the Devil in him! I need you to come-" Mary Cooper stopped talking abruptly. She looked toward her daughter, who hung up the phone.

"Momma! You can't do that! He's sick! He doesn't "have the Devil in him"! And you know how Shelly feels about this!" Missy held up the phone to indicate that she was talking about the pastor. "He needs to go to Methodist and he needs to get better. Momma, I'm not sayin' you can't pray for him, but you can't go around tellin' people about this. It's no one else's damn business!"

"Melissa Leigh Anne Cooper! You will not use that sort of language in my presence!" Mary shouted. She was about to continue when Missy interrupted.

"Please, momma, promise me that you won't say anything to anyone except Meemaw. Sheldon can't deal with people knowing he had some sort of meltdown. It would hurt him more than help him. He needs to know we are on his side and that we love and respect his wishes. If anyone asks about Shelly, just tell them to pray for him, and then end the conversation." Missy felt a surge of pride. She had never felt this mature and intelligent in her life. She hoped Sheldon would be proud of her.

"Missy, dear, I know you're right. I'm sorry. I'm just so scared for my little Shelly. And it's Christmas! He's going to be alone on Christmas! No one should be alone on-" Mary's words were stifled by sobs. Missy walked over to her mom and hugged her, whispering reassurances into her ear.

Sheldon slowly woke to the sound of the door closing. He waited a second before he opened his eyes. The first thing Sheldon noticed was the IV in his hand, and he was hooked up to a vitals monitor. Seeing the IV made him cringe. He felt a sudden wave of déjà vu. He also noticed that he was lying with both of his hands firmly on his sides. Sheldon tried to reposition them as it felt awkward, but he couldn't. A flood of panic flew through his mind; he started to struggle against the things that were keeping his hands in place. He was in restraints. Sheldon was confused. Why am I in these? What happened?

Sheldon heard a voice. It was a calm voice, soothing. He moved as much as he could with the restraints holding him place. Sheldon was still feeling woozy; everything seemed so surreal, as if it wasn't really there. He finally saw the person to whom the voice belonged to. It was his Meemaw.

"Hello, Moonpie, I know you're probably a little confused but I need you to relax. The doc said if you start to panic, they'll have to sedate you again." Sheldon stopped moving against the restraints which he now realised were also on his ankles. He took a calming breath and looked into his grandma's eyes. She looked concerned but not worried; she was smiling genuinely at him. Sheldon found some much needed solace in seeing his Meemaw. She pulled up a chair and sat as close to the bed as she could and looked at him the way only a grandma could look at you. "How are you feeling?"

Sheldon thought for a moment and tried to process his emotions. He went through a list and mentally ticked off each one he felt was relevant. He looked around the room for the first time since he had awakened. "I feel tired, depressed, scared, and, oddly relaxed." He looked around the room, taking in his settings and noticed his mom and Missy were not there. "Where are Missy and mom?"

"They went home for some rest. I told them I wouldn't let you out of my sight. Do you remember anything? The doc said you might have trouble with mental recall of events before you were sedated." She asked gently.

Sheldon thought back, he remembered walking out of the car towards the church. He remembered waking up here and talking to Missy, then… a look of sheer horror spread across his face. He remembered attacking Missy. Sheldon felt his eyes fill with tears. He had never attacked anyone in his life, he wasn't violent at all.

"Oh my God, Meemaw! I attacked Missy! Is she hurt? Is she okay? How-" Sheldon couldn't speak anymore because the sob he had been trying to swallow finally came out. Sheldon started shaking and he heard the beeping of the heart monitor get louder. Sheldon tried to yank his hands out of the restraints in vain. He heard the door to his room open and his head shot up. He watched as Meemaw got up from her chair and spoke to the nurse who had walked in.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but the doctor gave me specific instructions to sedate him if he started panicking again. I'm only doing my job," the nurse said with a hint of irritation.

"Dear, I need to speak to my grandson before he leaves.I have six children; I know how to handle a young man."

Sheldon willed himself to calm down; he wanted to talk to his Meemaw. He needed to talk to his Meemaw. He took two steadying breaths and listened for a second as the two women continued to argue. The beeping had stopped. He was still shaking, but not as violently as he was previously.

"I… I'm fine. I want to talk to Meemaw, please?"

The nurse looked from his grandma to him, sighed and looked at Sheldon sympathetically. Sheldon was grateful the nurse had acquiesced to his grandma's request. She then did something he did not expect. The nurse walked up to him and released him from his restraints.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." She replied gently. "My name is Lis, by the way. I'm from Methodist Hospital, where you will be transferred to sometime this evening. Do you need anything?"

Sheldon rubbed each of his wrists with his hands. He wanted the IV taken out, and really needed to use the bathroom. He looked at his Meemaw, who had an encouraging smile; he then turned to look at Lis.

"Can you take the IV out? May I use the restroom as well?"

"Yes, you may use the restroom; however the IV has to stay in. It's hospital policy." She replied.

"Which hospital?" Sheldon inquired.

"I'm sorry?" Lis looked confused for a brief moment before comprehension took its place. "This hospital's. Now, I'm going to have to escort you to the restroom you-" Sheldon cut her off.

"Will you be in the room with me?" Sheldon asked, horrified.

"No, you are allowed your privacy. You cannot lock the doors though." Lis replied, good-naturedly.

Lis and Meemaw helped Sheldon get to the bathroom. Lis had to check the room for any potentially dangerous objects because Sheldon was on suicide watch. When the bathroom was cleared, he walked in and immediately looked for the mirror, but it wasn't there. He felt a nagging thought in his mind that always accompanied with a disruption in his usual pattern of behaviour. Sheldon did the best he could to ignore it.

He looked down at his wrists, still a little raw from the restraints. He noticed the blue wristband again, this time he saw that there was writing on it. It said:

MENTAL HEALTH RISK; COOPER, SHELDON LEE; AGE: 18; NO ALLERGIES; HALIDOL 2-8 CC's; EMERGENCY ROOM, CURTAIN 12; GALVESTON COMMUNITY HOSPITAL

Underneath the words was a long barcode. Sheldon assumed it was for the computers the nurses always walked around with. He knew that inpatient medical records were kept on a secure wireless server, so no one saw private information about any patient.

There was a knock on the door. He jumped and said he would be out in a minute.

Five minutes later Sheldon was back in his room eating his first solid meal he had had in almost a day. He picked at it-he had no idea what the food preparation area of the hospital looked like and therefore had no idea how his food was handled. This unsettled him. After a few minutes he pushed the food away.

Sheldon looked up at his grandmother and gave her a half smile. However, when Lis had dropped the food off, he was told that he would be leaving in two hours. He was back to feeling anxious. His Meemaw noticed because she picked up a bag he hadn't noticed. It was one those thermal ones that kept food warm while travelling. Sheldon smiled at his Meemaw. She pulled out some silverware and two plates.

"Moonpie, why don't we eat here at this table."

Sheldon got out of bed and pulled the IV stand with him as he walked to the tiny table in the corner of the room. He paused for a moment trying to decide which spot would be the best. He took the seat facing the window that looked out into one of the many hospital parking lots. He helped lay out the plates and the food. It was a honey baked ham, homemade dinner rolls, steamed broccoli, mashed potatoes, and apple pie for dessert.

Sheldon had a good meal. His food was the perfect temperature and the taste was unbelievable. It felt like so long since he had been able to taste food. Up until now everything tasted the same, like cardboard with multiple textures. It's why he had stopped eating, food tasted and felt wrong. It had been two and a half days since his last meal, and he hoped he would never have to go without food ever again.

Sheldon talked to his grandma, told her everything that had been going on and what had been stressing him out. How living with someone else was almost intolerable, how his roommate ridiculed him in front of his friends and how many times he had to sleep in the dorm buildings common room because of the "sock on the door" rule. He just told her everything he had only written in his journals. Sheldon felt better after saying all of those things that had been weighing him down. But he also told her about a girl he noticed on the first day of classes. They were in the same Freshman Seminar class. He watched her sit in the same spot every Tuesday and Thursday for an hour and a half.

"Her name is Penny Reed. She has long blond hair with curls. The one time I saw her face I noticed she had emerald green eyes. I tried to talk to her once. I called out to her one day after the lecture. She turned around and I… I ran. I couldn't think what I was going to say. That was when I noticed she had green eyes."

Sheldon looked at his beloved Meemaw, she was smiling at him. The smile made him feel uncomfortable, but not necessarily bad. Embarrassed, that's what he felt, he felt embarrassed.

"What?" Sheldon asked his face flushed.

"Oh, Moonpie, you like this girl, this Penny. That's why you ran, you got scared! That's okay, you'll see her again." She said with a smile.

"You can't know that. The statistical probability does increase considering we go to the same University, but-"

Sheldon never finished his sentence. The door opened and in walked Lis with two other people he did not recognise. Sheldon immediately tensed up, he didn't want to go and he didn't understand why had to go to a different hospital. Sheldon looked from his grandma to Lis; both women seemed to have the same nervous look on their faces. It was unnerving; it made him feel like confirming their fears and just lashing out, because that's what they were waiting for, right? He gripped the edge of the table and was about to charge when Lis spoke.

"Okay, Sheldon, has anyone told you what's gonna to happen and why it's gonna happen this way?" Sheldon shook his head, a little caught off guard. He wondered if that had been the intention.

"Well, first thing is, the hospital here doesn't have room for you in the Psychiatric facility. So what they usually do in that case is call other hospitals and see if they have room and if they are willing to take you. You are going to be the second patient to be transferred to Methodist today. You'll travel by ambulance and it shouldn't be a long trip. I will be in the back with you; everything is going to be fine. Are you following me so far?"

"How could I be follow-"

"He understands, isn't that right, Moonpie?" Meemaw interjected. Sheldon nodded.

"Also, your IV will be removed."

Sheldon relaxed a little at this bit of information. He hadn't forgotten about the IV, but he had somewhat gotten used to the sensation of a foreign object invading his body. He cringed and tensed when Lis touched his hand. She told him he needed to relax, that if he did the removal will be painless.

Sheldon inhaled and exhaled three times before nodding that he was ready. The next moment, the IV was gone and his hand was being bandaged. He looked down to examine his hand but was distracted by the enormous bruise that was forming on his arm.

"Yeah, that's gonna hurt for a while. Try not to put much pressure on that arm and it won't be too sore. It's gonna keep getting ugly though for at least another day," informed Lis.

Sheldon had a vague memory of the original IV being ripped out of his arm when he lunged at Missy. He shook his head trying to shake the memory away. He didn't want to think about that right now, not ever really.

"Moonpie, your momma and Missy packed you a suitcase with some clothes and things." Meemaw said, lifting his favourite black suitcase. "Oh, and Missy also wanted me to give you this."

Sheldon looked from the suitcase to the iPod in his grandma's hands. He reached out to take it, wincing from the pain of exerting his arm. It was his iPod, and that made him feel a little better. He could listen to the lectures he had downloaded. It might give him foundation to build a temporary but stable schedule while he was away.

"Thanks, Meemaw. Please tell momma and Missy that I'm sorry and that…" he paused. He didn't understand why saying the thing he wanted to say was so hard. Sheldon swallowed and finally spoke again. "Tell them… tell them that I love and will miss them."

"Of course, Moonpie. I need you to promise me something, okay?"

Sheldon was hesitant to agree to something when he didn't know exactly what it was. He knew better than to ask what she wanted before he promised because his grandma was a firm believer in "taking a leap of faith". So Sheldon just nodded.

"I want you to promise me that you will do everything you can to get better. Even if that means talking to the other people who are there with you. You might find that you have a lot in common and you can work together. Promise me that you will tell someone if you feel like hurting yourself, okay?"

"I… I promise," Sheldon said while nodding. He was apprehensive about making this promise because he didn't know if he could keep it. Looking at her made him want to feel okay. He was scared about being away from home, in an unfamiliar setting. Despite all of that, he would try his best to keep his promise to his Meemaw.

Sheldon got up and gave his grandma a hug. She was momentarily surprised because he never initiated contact with another person. She saw this as a sign that everything was going to turn out for the best. He pulled back from her and turned to Lis. He had a determined look on his face.

"I'm ready."

He thought that Lis would have let him change into some of the clothes from the suitcase, but she said no. Sheldon was still in the TARDIS blue hospital gown. Lis said his belongings had to be searched, it was Methodist's policy.

A few minutes later, Sheldon was on a gurney, being wheeled down the hall. They paused to sign some paperwork about his transfer and made sure Lis had everything that Methodist would need to treat him. While this was going on he pulled out his iPod and opened the music tab. His jaw dropped. Oh dear Lord, what fresh hell is this?

Instead of his numerous lectures, he saw actual music! Sheldon liked music but not the kind that was currently on his iPod. He wasn't a fan of anything Missy liked and that was exactly what was on here. The Beatles, Guns N' Roses, Taylor Swift, Billy Joel and a plethora of others. Even Miley Cyrus AND her alter ego, Hannah Montana! Why did his sister insist on torturing him sometimes? He sighed. Then he heard a familiar voice belonging to a female. He couldn't recall why it was familiar so he looked in the direction of the voice and for the second time in five minutes, his jaw dropped.

It was Penny.