A/N First of all, my deepest thanks to the kind people who took the time to leave me a review. I love you all. Once again, I have no idea where this is going. Chapter title is from a William Blake poem…again.

Day 5

It's strange. It's been five days since my new world began. Five days, and it still feels like it was an hour ago. I can't seem to focus on anything. The research into getting Dean out of Hell is going slow. Not many leads, at least not many that my big brother would agree on. And somehow, I find myself wondering what he'd say about me trying to get him out. I can almost hear him and it freaks me out. I never realized before that my big brother was the voice inside my head, the one alternately urging me on and slowing me down. Maybe it's because he raised me, maybe it's because in our line of work, being attuned to one another is a necessity, maybe it's only because it's him. At the end of the day, I'm not sure if it's painful or if it's a comfort.

The Impala is parked in front of Bobby's house and I can't make myself go near it. I want to sit in it, want to hear that damn mullet rock Dean liked to tortured me with, want to wake up with a spoon glued to my nose and see my brother's laughing eyes. I want so bad to just feel him next to me. Just to know that he's safe, that I'm safe. But the Impala, without her driver, just stops being home. It took me years to understand what that car meant to my brother, what it meant to me. It's the only real home we've ever had. Even the apartment I shared with Jess didn't feel like home. Maybe because it wasn't moving, because I couldn't see the trees flying by, because I couldn't hear Dean's fingers tapping the beat on the steering wheel. But now, the gleaming paint job has lost it's lustre, and the car that meant so much is just a pile of metal. Mocking me, reminding me every day that Dean will never drive her again. And the keys he gave me are burning me through my pocket.

Bobby gave me an envelop from Dean this morning. I can't bring myself to open it…

Bobby's words as he handed Sam the plain white envelop were nagging him. "Your brother….he left me something. Something he wanted me to give to you if…if we didn't find a way to stop this."

Hours later, and Sam was still staring at his messily scrawled name. His brother's distinct penmanship- atrocious- was calling to him. With a weary sigh, Sam rubbed his face before he carefully opened the envelop. With fingers that shook, he retrieved the loose sheets of paper from it, and smoothed them out.

Hey Sasquatch.

I'm not much for writing letters but knowing you, you're probably mopping around, with those big puppy eyes full of tears. Don't. Just go out, take the Impala for a ride, find a girl and GET LAID! Seriously dude, stop brooding. There's some stuff I need to tell you, some things I couldn't bring myself to talk to you about. Kept hoping we'd find a way out I guess.

I left some papers for you. They're in the hidden compartment of the Impala. The car papers for one and some bank info. The money is so you can go back to school. I don't care where, I don't care what you study, but do me a favour little bro, and get that fancy degree you've been talking about since you learned what a degree was. The money's legit, but the papers that come with them are not. You're supposed to be dead, and I figured it'd be hard for a dead man to go to college. So I got you an all new identity Sammy boy. If you keep hunting, be careful, don't take chances, and remember what Dad taught us. If you don't, I get it, I really do. I just hope you have that normal life you've been dreaming about. And if there should be a mini-Sammy, I fully expect you to give him my name.

I'm not much on after-school moments, and I'm not much for words, you know that, but Sam?? I love you. And I'm proud of you little brother. I helped raise a hell of a man.

Dean.

PS. Don't forget to clean the upholstery bitch!

Sobs and laughter mixing, Sam dropped the letter. He rubbed his tired eyes, before he stood up and grabbed the keys that had only minutes before been a weight he didn't want to carry. Now, they were a precious treasure.

He was on the way out of the door before he turned around and carefully folded the pages back into the envelop. This was a letter he didn't intend to let go off.

End Notes: I'm amazed to be updating this soon. The chapters just seems to write themselves, but I can't guarantee that I'll always be this…generous. In fact, I shouldn't be able to offer anything more until next week. 'Til then, enjoy, and please, pretty pretty please, review!!